Author's Note: I have to give a big thank you to each and every one of you who has reviewed this story. I've passed the 100 reviews mark, and that means so much. I have to give a huge thank you to Daisy, who has supported this story from the very beginning, and I hope I didn't make you wait too long for the update. This chapter is going to wrap up something I know a lot of you have been wanting wrapped up for a while, so I hope this delivers. If you're looking to listen to some music, I suggest listening to It Is What IT Is by Lifehouse while you read this, it was what I pretty much listened to on repeat as I wrote this chapter, hence the title. Read and review!
Chapter 6
Too long we've been denying, now we're both tired of trying
We hit a wall and we can't get over it
Nothing to relive, it's water under the bridge
You said it, I get it, I guess it is what it is
Elena dropped her bag on the ground in front of the ticketing counter. "One-way ticket to Nashville, Tennessee."
The young booking agent for the airline looked up at her, the customary smile plastered onto her face. "License and credit card, please?" Elena dipped her hand into her purse to find her wallet, where she dug out her license and credit card. She then pushed the small plastic cards across the counter toward the agent. "Okay, it's going to be $454, Miss Gilbert," she informed her as she punched in a few buttons on her keyboard, and a few moments later, she was printing out a boarding pass. "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No, I just have the carry-on," she said quietly, and then handed her cards along with her boarding pass to her. "Thank you."
"Have a good flight, Miss Gilbert."
She tried to smile at the agent, but she couldn't quite force one out. She nodded her head, grabbed her bag, and made her way toward security.
It had taken her 30 minutes to decide where to go. As she stared at the board, she knew that she couldn't hide out; she needed to fix things. That was how she ended up with the ticket to Nashville. Matt had gotten a job at a law firm in Nashville after he graduated from law school, and last she'd heard, he still lived down there. She had handled everything all wrong when she ended things with Matt, and she'd never truly apologized for it. She'd been too caught up in her own head to ever give him the closure he'd deserved. She needed to do that now though.
The position she was in was one of her own making. Her choices had led her here, and the times that she'd been too stubborn or unwilling to listen to anyone but herself, had resulted in her causing pain to those around her. After Damon, Matt was whom she had caused the most pain. He deserved her apology, and he deserved it in person.
The ringtone from Elena's phone pierced through the quietness of her small apartment. Without checking to see who was calling her, she pressed ignore. It was Caroline, Bonnie, Matt, or even Damon, and she did not want to speak to any of them right now. She needed a day to herself.
These past few months since Caroline got engaged, she never really had time to sit down and be alone. If she wasn't working, she was doing something with Caroline for the wedding, or she was doing something for the wedding with Bonnie, or she was with Matt, or she was with Damon. She hadn't had one day to herself in months and she figured that she could use a day to herself. After everything that had gone on in the past two weeks alone, she would go crazy if she wasn't allowed at least a few hours to curl up on her couch and watch trashy reality television.
When she got up this morning, she didn't bother changing into any real clothes, just remained in her comfortable pajamas. She then ordered herself a very greasy cheeseburger and fries to help with the hangover, and she had the meal delivered to her place. She also ordered a large chocolate milkshake, seeing as lots of sugar was world renowned for helping to cure heartbreak. Now, all that was left was getting comfortable on her couch under a giant blanket and turning on Bravo, which never failed to deliver a healthy dose of crazy drama from women far too old to be behaving in such a way.
This was how she was spending her day, and nobody was going to come along and mess with it.
Well, it was, until Caroline and Bonnie showed up four hours later, arms loaded down with bags of sugary goodness. "We have assembled the heartbreak hotel kit," Bonnie informed her, as Caroline closed the door behind them. "I have brought cupcakes, brownie mix, Twizzlers, and everything needed for a good, old fashioned S'mores."
"And I have come prepared with ice cream, Oreos, chocolate chip cookies, and season 2 of Friends, because it's the best season ever." Caroline held up the boxed DVDs with a proud smile on her face. "I know you've been avoiding our calls all day, but we're your best friends, and it is our obligation to see you through this, because the second day is always the worst."
Caroline had a theory that the second day of a breakup was always the worst. Her belief was that the first, while hard, was manageable because it was still too new to have really set in. However, by the time the second day rolled around, she said that was when it became a reality and all of the fears about being single came roaring to life, and you began to miss the person you'd grown to love and depend on.
It really came as no surprise that her friends had shown up. Avoiding phone calls had never deterred them in the past. However, Elena still eyed them skeptically, a part of her ecstatic that they were here, but another part aggravated, because there was so much she didn't know if she was ready to talk about yet. That was the thing about best friends though; sometimes they just didn't let you do things on the timeline that you thought you wanted.
"Don't you dare tell us to leave, Elena Gilbert," Bonnie warned her.
Caroline nodded her head sternly at Bonnie's words. "Fine," she finally sighed. "You two can stay, but just for the record, the keys are for emergencies only."
"Breakup isolation falls under the category of best friend emergencies," Caroline told her unapologetically. "It was our duty to use our keys. You'd do the exact same thing for either one of us and you know it."
Elena was caught there. She would do the exact same thing for them, in fact she had before, and she didn't regret it. So, it was time to turn off Bravo and sit up and eat more junk food. "Well, you two broke into my apartment. Come here and give me the food!"
Bonnie and Caroline rushed over to her couch and dropped down onto the soft cushions. "So, pick your poison," Caroline began pulling the food from the grocery bags. "What do you want first?"
"Twizzlers!" Elena quickly reached out and snatched the bag from Caroline.
"Wise choice," Caroline said. "So, before we delve into Friends, where should we start? Has Matt called?"
Elena shook her head. Even though she'd been avoiding calls she had checked a while ago to see who had called her and none had been from Matt. "No, he hasn't called. I think he's still mad."
"He's probably just in shock. I don't think he wanted the relationship to be over anymore than you did," Bonnie advised her.
"But that's the thing. He's been mad at me for ages, and he even told you he didn't think we'd get married. It's like he knows that we're over and that we need to be, but he won't admit it."
"You two have been together longer than I've been with Stefan," Caroline pointed out. "That's a really long time, Elena."
"I know," she admitted. "And that's what makes this really hard. I want Matt to be the one. I want to need him as much as you need Stefan, but it's just not there."
Caroline sighed and rested a hand on Elena's arm. "I just wish you'd told us sooner."
"I didn't know what was going through my own head most of the time, much less how to put it into words for you and Bonnie. Then there was Damon and that whole thing, which just made everything more confusing. It all just got away from me."
"I probably shouldn't ask this," Bonnie started cautiously. "But did you tell Matt about Damon?"
Elena's eyes widened and she immediately shook her head. "No. I didn't tell him anything." She'd tortured herself for days, trying to decide whether or not she should tell Matt about Damon. He hadn't asked about there being anyone else, so would she be doing him a favor by telling him that she had cheated on him? She still wasn't completely sure about her decision, but she hadn't told him. She just couldn't bring herself to do it.
"That's probably best," Bonnie said. "I think that would only make a bad situation worse."
"Yeah, Matt may be the nice guy 9 times out of 10, but when he gets mad he gets really mad," Caroline mused. "Speaking of Damon though. What exactly is going on with the two of you? I've tried to ask Stefan, but he won't tell me anything and you've practically been like Fort Knox. So, spill."
"There's nothing to spill." Elena attempted to weasel her way out of the impending conversation, but at Caroline's demanding stare, she knew she wasn't getting off that easily. She'd managed to avoid any conversation about what Caroline had seen last night because she was pretty drunk, but Caroline wouldn't provide her another freebie. "He's fun and I actually think I like him," she finally confessed.
"Really?" Caroline questioned, clearly perplexed by this confession. "I just don't get what's so appealing about him. He's an ass."
"You know he's not that bad, Caroline. If you disliked him as much as you say you do, you would not have let him back in the wedding."
"Stefan is pretty much blind when it comes to Damon. It would have devastated him if he couldn't have Damon as his best man." Caroline sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I might not like it, but I knew we couldn't get married if Stefan couldn't have Damon involved."
"We both know there's good reason for Stefan to love Damon. He loves Stefan, you can't deny that." If Elena had seen the deep love Damon felt for his little brother over the past few months then surely Caroline had seen it.
Caroline looked down at her hands for a moment before she looked back up at Elena. "I know he loves Stefan, but I also know a side of Damon that you don't. He's damaged, Elena. Not just by Katherine either."
"What do you mean?" Elena questioned, now curious as to how much Caroline knew about Damon.
Caroline looked apprehensive, not sure if she should continue on. "I really shouldn't say this. Most of what I know is from Stefan or things I've observed since I've been with him."
"I don't care, tell me," she urged.
"Damon and his father don't get along – at all. And it's not just a new thing. Again, I only know this from Stefan, but their father was pretty bad when they were growing up. He'd always put more pressure on Damon while their mom was alive, but she was protective over him, so things never got that bad. Then, when she got sick, Stefan says that all of their dad's attention was completely focused on Damon and it only got worse when she died. Suddenly, he watched every move Damon made, determined to mold him into the perfect heir to take over the company. Stefan was babied, but every time Damon messed up, their father would go ballistic. He won't really say much about it, but from what I can gather, it was like all of his pain and anger from their mom dying was taken out on Damon."
Elena's heart ached for Damon as she listened to Caroline's sad recounts of Damon's childhood. She knew that Caroline was just as pained by what Damon had to have gone through as a child, but she still seemed detached from it all. While the story made Elena understand so much more about Damon and why he behaved the way he did, Caroline seemed more than ready to write him off most of the time.
Everything made sense to her now though. Her confusions about how Damon had wound up married to someone like Katherine made sense. He was a young boy that had probably been completely devastated by the loss of his mother only to be thrust under a microscope, with no room for mistakes. A part of her imagined that when Damon met Katherine and fallen in love with her, he'd seen it as a new purpose for his life. She gave meaning to his life beyond what his father had raised him for.
And his carefree attitude that seemed to leave a trail of angry people in his wake, she now realized, came from probably being abused. He most likely, hadn't been allowed to have emotions, so he learned to shut them out and keep people at arms length. She believed it was because of that and his deep need to protect his brother that probably resulted in his less than stellar attitude toward Caroline most of the time.
Caroline's words were probably meant to make her more cautious of Damon, but hearing about his life only seemed to make her feel a bigger pull toward him, and she was getting tired of trying to keep it to herself. "I know that you're coming from a good place, but I really do think he's a good guy, Caroline."
"Despite what I say about Damon most of the time, I really don't think he's a bad guy, he just has a lot of issues. You're fresh out of a four-year relationship, and I just don't think he's what you need right now."
"Bonnie, what do you think?" Elena turned to look at her other best friend that had remained silent during the conversation about Damon. "Do you think I'm making a mistake by spending time with him?"
Her friend seemed to weigh her words heavily before she finally spoke. "I think I'm going to plead the fifth on this one. No matter what I think you're just going to do what you want anyway."
"But I still want your opinion."
Her friend closed her eyes and sighed. "I think Damon's trouble, and that if you start doing whatever you're thinking about doing, it's only going to end badly. He's just coming out of a relationship too, a marriage actually, so I think you're both just looking for someone to make you feel like you're not so alone, and that won't end well." Elena pursed her lips at Bonnie's words, trying to keep her quick retort in the back of her throat, and it didn't go unnoticed. "I know it's harsh, but you asked for my opinion, so I gave it, even though you've made it clear that you aren't going to listen to anything that Caroline or me tell you. If you were, you certainly wouldn't have made out with Damon last night."
Elena looked down at her lap, trying to figure out whether she really was delusional about Damon, or if she was just willing to give him more of a chance than her friends were. She saw a side of him that very few people got to see, and she didn't believe it was an act or something that would fade. He was good to her. Could she really judge him based on her friends' opinions?
"I see where you're both coming from," she said to her friends. She truly did understand why they'd have the opinion, but she just didn't think she could get on board with it. "I just think there's more to Damon than you give him credit for. He's a good guy."
Bonnie held up her hands in surrender. "It's your life. Whatever you want to do, you can do."
The friends sat in silence for a few moments, pondering the situation Elena had found herself in, but Caroline soon pepped back up, ready to move forward with junk food and Friends. "You made the right decision with Matt, we all know that, and you obviously see something in Damon that I just can't. So, let's do what we came here to do: stuff ourselves with junk food and yell at Ross and Rachel for always making things so hard."
Bonnie and Elena watched as Caroline retrieved the DVDs from the coffee table and bounced over to the DVD player. It was Caroline's favorite show, and any time she was upset she always turned to her trusty box set of the show, sometimes spending days glued to her couch watching episode after episode. Because of this, Bonnie and Elena had also seen every episode more than once, and knew the show backwards and forwards.
It was that thought that made Elena remember what exactly season 2 was about. "Caroline," she began curiously. "Why did you bring season 2 to help cheer me up after a break up?"
"Because it's the best season. Duh!" The blonde rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"But this is the season that Ross and Rachel have their first kiss. Why would you show me that after I've broken up with Matt?"
"Because he's her lobster." Caroline sat back down on the couch, the remote in her hands. "Ross and Rachel are perfect for each other, and this is really the beginning of their relationship, and if they can figure it all out in the end, you'll figure it out too." The menu for the show came up on her TV screen and all three girls turned toward the television. "Just be happy I'm not making you watch season 3 and the episode where they break up."
As Caroline pressed play, Elena allowed herself to be sucked into the universe that was Monica, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey. She laughed at the jokes and yelled at all of the appropriate places, happy to have her friends by her side. They may not always be in agreement on everything in each other's lives, but they supported each other and she needed that tonight.
She thought she'd needed a day alone, but her friends had been right when they showed up here. She needed them, and to know that she wasn't alone in this. She needed to talk to someone about even just a fraction of what was going through her head. And she'd needed to hear more about Damon. She was in a very confusing place emotionally, torn between being devastated by her breakup, but also almost giddy over these growing feelings for Damon. None of it was happening on the timeline that it should, but her emotions were taking her on a roller coaster, and she was learning that fighting it only made things harder. She needed to sit back and let things happen how they would, and her friends had helped her understand that, even if that hadn't been what they were after.
Because of this, she was sad when they finally turned off Friends and Bonnie and Caroline said their goodbyes. It was back to being alone and lost in her own head for the rest of the night with many more thoughts to ponder. Most of them seemed to be about Damon and working through what she did feel for him. He had become a good friend and confidante through the past few months, and she found that the idea of sleeping with him didn't seem that bad, even completely sober.
Bonnie and Caroline had been right though. She was looking for someone that understood what she was going through, but she felt like there was more going on than just that. It was as she was thinking about this that there was a knock on her door. Thinking it was Caroline or Bonnie coming back to pick up something they'd probably left behind, she rushed over to the door and opened it, only to find Matt standing on the other side. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest as he stared at her, his eyes filled with sadness and heartache. "Matt," she breathed out.
"Why don't you want to be with me?" He delivered the question with such a powerful punch that the air was ripped from her lungs.
After weeks of talking in circles, they'd finally ended it. There had been tears and shouting, but it had been over. He had been upset, but she hadn't thought she'd see him this soon, certainly not with him showing up on her doorstep in the middle of the night,but she couldn't turn him away.
She held the door open wider and stepped to the side. "Why don't you come in?" With heavy steps, he walked into her small apartment and crossed the short distance to her couch and sat down. She tried to prepare herself as she followed behind him and soon sat down on the opposite end. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Us. Everything."
She sighed and shook her head. "All we've done is talk, Matt."
"I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you!" he said, with more emphasis than he probably meant to, but he quickly got himself under as much control as possible. "I was planning to marry you one day. I thought we were one the same page, but you just needed time. What happened to that?"
"I know," she whispered brokenly, because she had thought the exact same thing once upon a time. "I thought so too."
"So, what happened? Why did you stop wanting it?" She wished she had an answer for him that wouldn't break his heart, or even one that would make sense. That was the problem with this whole situation. Someone was going to get hurt no matter what she did, and no matter what she said; there would never be any sense to any of it.
Matt was the best guy she'd ever known. There was no reason for her to not want to be with him for the rest of her life, for him to not be the father of her children. For some reason, that she'd never know, he just wasn't that person for her. If she'd had any doubts yesterday, last night had proven that this was the right decision. At most, Damon should have been a way to bury the pain, but he wasn't.
She was genuinely attracted him, and she felt a pull toward him. If Matt was the person she was supposed to be with for the rest of her life, she shouldn't have ever considered sleeping with Damon, not for a second. She had though. She still was. He was right, they were both in a similar place and they had fun together while being mutually attracted to each other. Sleeping together wasn't the worst idea in the world, but it should have been.
Nothing about Damon should have pulled her in for these past few months, but he did. Beyond the physical attraction, there was an emotional one. She hadn't wanted to admit that there was something there on an emotional level, but there was. He might say things that he shouldn't, but he was always genuine with her. He understood exactly where she was coming from, and he never judged her. When she was confused, he talked to her and let her know that this wasn't supposed to be easy. When she needed a break, he took her out or made an inappropriate joke to ease the tension.
Quietly, she said to Matt, "I don't know if I ever really wanted it." This was the first time she'd said this out loud to Matt, and seeing the look of pain flash across his face felt horrible. He looked like she'd completely gutted him, and it broke her heart. "I think there's always been something missing that we just never wanted to acknowledge."
"Like what?" he demanded. "You say we never acknowledged it; acknowledge it now."
She sadly shook her head. "I wish I knew. All I know is that if this were right we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't have spent the last year fighting and waiting for the other to back down."
"No," Matt ground out. "I think you're scared, so you're running away. This is what you always do, Elena. You're scared of trying to be an author, so you work in a bar instead of going back to school. You're scared of giving up things you don't even know if you want, so you're ending our relationship."
"Of course I'm scared," she cried out. "But I'm scared of not being with you too. You're all I've known for four years, and not having you in my life scares me to death, but staying in this relationship when I know it's not right scares me more."
"So we face it, together. I know what I said yesterday, but I love you, and I think we can fix this. I haven't spent four years with you just to give up on us because things got hard."
Matt made a solid argument and a part of her wanted to give in, and fall back into his arms like she always did. Yet, there was this other part, that told her she'd be doing exactly what Bonnie said she had been doing for the past year: she'd be settling, and so would he. Even if she was okay with settling for what they had, and trying to convince herself that it was enough, Matt didn't deserve that. He was a great guy that deserved to be with someone who loved him enough to want to marry him. He deserved someone who wanted all the same things that he wanted, when he wanted them.
"Can you honestly tell me that you've been happy for the past year?" she questioned quietly, trying to get him to see reason. He was hurt and he was scared, so he was looking to fall back into the safety net that had been their relationship, but she needed to be strong enough to get him to walk away. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you haven't wondered if there was someone else out there for you that you were supposed to be with for the rest of your life. Someone that isn't me."
"Of course I've wondered, but it's normal to have doubts, right? I've had doubts, but I thought we were stronger than that. I thought you believed it too."
"I wanted to. I've spent a year wanting to believe that we were stronger than this, that this was just a rough patch. I spent a year hoping that I would wake up one morning and suddenly know that I didn't just want to marry you, but that I needed it. And that day did come, but that wasn't what I realized. I woke up and realized that if this was really what I thought it was, I wouldn't have to spend so much time telling myself that I knew I'd marry you, I'd already know it." She ended her small speech in a strained whisper, her voice dying out on her from all of the emotions swirling inside of her.
Elena's phone sprang to life on the coffee table, halting the conversation in its tracks. Matt reached out and picked up her phone, a move they'd both made hundreds of times through their relationship, but this time it was different. He looked down and she could see a flash of realization dance across his face as he looked down at the name. "Damon's calling," he ground out and handed her the phone.
With apprehension, she grabbed her phone from Matt and pressed the ignore button. "It's nothing," she told him, even though she knew he believed it was anything but.
A sarcastic laugh fell from his lips. "Really, it's nothing? Guys don't call a girl this late at night for nothing. When a guy calls you this late, he's after a lot more than pillow talk, Elena."
Elena cringed at his implication, but she knew he was right. Damon was after more than just a casual conversation, and she'd happily obliged him on that in the past. She emotionally and physically cheated on Matt, and the day they broke up she fell directly into Damon's arms. "Please don't bring him into this."
"See, I think he's already in it. I think he's been in this for longer than I realized. I may not have put the pieces together until just now, but right around the time he came into the picture, you and me started having serious problems."
"That's not true," she argued. She may not have started considering ending her relationship with Matt until she started getting to know Damon, but it hadn't been because of him. Damon may have opened her eyes to a few things in her relationship, but this breakup had nothing to do with him. "All of this, it's about us, not anyone else."
"I don't believe that. He answers your phone, you go to dinner with him, and you meet with him without anyone else around."
"His brother is getting married to my best friend!" she shouted. "I talk to him and do things with him because we're planning this party in Las Vegas for Caroline and Stefan."
Matt didn't look convinced by her outburst. "Look at me and tell me that nothing has happened between the two of you. Cause from where I'm sitting, the coincidences are too much now. Maybe each thing on its own doesn't mean much, but when I sit here and add it all together, it looks pretty suspicious, Elena."
She tried to hold Matt's gaze as he stared at her, waiting for her to tell him that he was wrong. Despite his anger, she knew that he wanted nothing more than to know that he was completely wrong. She wanted to tell him that he was, but she couldn't lie to him and he knew that she wouldn't be able to lie to his face when asked point blank if she'd cheated on him. She tried to blink back the tears as he continued to stare at her, and she could see the truth fully setting in the longer she was silent. "I'm sorry," she whispered and tore her gaze from Matt's, unable to see the utter devastation that was surely to come.
"Jesus," Matt blew out. He quickly stood from the couch and moved over to her window. His fists were clenching and unclenching as his chest rapidly rose and fell as he tried to get himself under control. "Tell me you didn't sleep with him," he choked out, his voice strangled with emotion. "Tell me you didn't do that."
"No!" Elena exclaimed and jumped up from the couch. "I wouldn't do that to you. I never slept with him."
Matt whipped around so quickly she had to jump back from his arm that he swung around to wave in her direction. "Wouldn't do that to me? You just told me you cheated on me and you expect me to believe that you wouldn't sleep with him? I may have been blind, but I'm not stupid."
"I'm not saying you are," she argued, tears now freely falling down her face. "But I didn't sleep with him. I swear to you, I didn't."
"How long has this been going on?"
Embarrassed, she looked down at the ground. "Since Caroline's engagement party."
"I can't believe you!" Matt yelled at her. "While I was sitting in that stupid ballroom, worried about where you were and what was wrong with you, you were off with another guy!"
"I know," she whispered, truly ashamed of everything. She liked Damon, but she never wanted to hurt Matt like this. It hurt her to know that she'd hurt him so badly, but what made it worse was knowing that she didn't regret what had happened with Damon. She wished it hadn't happened the way it had, and that Matt didn't have to get hurt, but that was on her. She was the one that kept hanging on, and couldn't let him go when it was so obvious that she needed to. "I'm sorry."
"Really, Elena, you're sorry? You spend months lying to my face, but you're sorry, so I guess that makes it all better." She cringed at the volume of his voice, knowing that it was surely echoing out into the hallway and into other apartments. "Say something!"
"I don't know what to say," she cried. "I messed up and I know that, but I never wanted to hurt you. I hate that I did, and all of it is my fault. Tell me what to say. What do you want to hear?"
"I want to know how you could do this. How could you throw away everything we had for some guy you didn't even know?"
"I didn't throw anything away for Damon. I made a bad decision, but this isn't really about him; it's about us. I never would have kissed him if everything was truly okay between us."
"Oh, so it's my fault that you cheated on me?"
"That's not what I said!" she shouted in frustration. Everything had deteriorated so quickly, and she couldn't get a handle on anything anymore.
"Well, it sure as hell sounds that way, Elena!"
A knock sounded at her door, bringing their argument to a standstill. He first instinct was to ignore it, but if it was Caroline or Bonnie, she wanted to answer the door before they could use their respective keys again. Apprehensively, she turned and walked over to her front door. Her heart stopped cold at the sight of Damon standing just outside of her apartment. Stunned, it took her a few moments to respond. "Damon, this isn't really the best time."
He looked worried as he pushed himself into her apartment. "I heard screaming," he said to her. He stopped and looked at Matt, who looked like a caged animal ready for a fight, and he then turned back to look at her, his eyes taking in her disheveled appearance. "Are you okay?"
"Well isn't that just cozy?" Matt said bitterly.
"Everything is fine," she told Damon quietly. "I think you should leave."
Damon glanced between her and Matt again. "I don't think that's the best idea."
"Damon," she began, but Matt quickly cut her off.
"No, Elena, your lover here obviously wants to protect you from your big, bad ex-boyfriend. In fact, I'll make it easy for him, I'll leave."
"Don't do this," she pleaded with him as he crossed the small living room. "Don't leave like this." She didn't want him to leave while he was this angry and upset. She didn't know if she'd be able to calm him down much, but surely she could help him out a little.
He stopped in front of her and she could practically feel the tension rolling off of Damon in waves from behind her. "I hope you're happy with yourself, Elena."
She followed him to the door. "Matt," she called out to him one last time, but he slammed the door in her face. With a dejected sigh she clenched her eyes shut and leaned her head against her door.
Damon slowly walked up behind her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"
She shook her head against the door. "Not really." After a few moments, she pushed herself off the door and turned to face Damon. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"I'm just glad I came when I did. I know you want to fix things, but that wasn't good for anyone."
"I know what you're thinking," she said to him. "Matt wouldn't hurt me though. He was just upset."
"Maybe he wouldn't," Damon acknowledged. "But you were both upset and he was furious, you didn't need to be around that."
"I needed to fix this!" she exclaimed, trying to make him understand that she would have been fine. "I messed this all up, and I needed to fix it."
Damon's eyes softened at her small outburst. "Not everything can be fixed, Elena. Sometimes when a relationship is over, it's just over."
"But that doesn't mean I can't try." She took a step closer to him. "You can't tell me you didn't try to make things right with Katherine even after you'd ended it."
He looked away and she knew that she was right. "It only ended in arguments that lasted hours and left me with no voice the next day. If he's going to be mad, then he's going to be mad. You can't change that."
"He knows that I cheated on him, Damon. You know how that feels. Think about what's going through his head right now."
Damon took a step toward her, now invading her personal space with his head tilted down to look at hers. "I don't have to think about it. I already know what's going through his head. That's why I can tell you that nothing you do is going to change anything. The girl he's in love with just broke his heart." Her face crumbled at his words and a strangled cry fell from her lips.
She quickly found herself being pulled into Damon's embrace. He wrapped his arms around and held her tightly against him as she cried into his chest. Everything he said was completely true. She had broken Matt's heart and no matter how badly she wanted to fix the mess she'd made, she wouldn't be able to. He was done with her.
"I didn't want it to end this way."
Damon softly ran a hand through her hair as his other arm tightened around her waist. "I know," he whispered. "You're not a bad person. You just got yourself into an unfortunate situation."
"I cheated on him," she said into his chest, her voice muffled from his shirt, but he still heard her clearly.
"You could have taken it a lot further, but you didn't." Damon pulled away and slowly guided her over to her couch. He sat her down in the middle and sat down next to her. With his knees pressed against hers he grabbed onto her hands and pulled them onto his lap. "I'm not going to say that you handled things perfectly, but you ultimately ended the relationship. You knew things weren't going to work, so you ended it, even though he was still willing to stay with you."
"I know," she quietly said, her eyes cast downward. "I just wish it hadn't turned out this way."
Damon sighed and pulled her into his arms. "Come here." He leaned back on her couch, pulling her back along with him until she was tucked up beside him, her head resting on his shoulder. "Everything will be fine."
They fell into a comfortable silence with his fingers rhythmically running through her hair, lulling her into a calmed state. Her chest, which had felt tight most of the day, was now relaxed. Her heart was no longer racing, but beating softly in her chest. Her eyes, which were flooded with tears only minutes ago, were now dry.
She didn't know how he could make her heart race wildly in her chest from a look, but could also pull her back from near devastation with a simple touch. When she first met him she never would have guessed that this was what was behind his mask. She knew there was more to him than he let people see, but she hadn't imagined this. While most of the time he was too cocky for his own good, now he was calm and gentle.
He had no reason to stay after what he'd walked in on, but he was still here. He wasn't telling her to move on or get over it, but that it was okay to be upset. And he did all of it without any guarantee that he'd get anything in return.
"Why did you come here?" she asked, realizing that he'd just shown up at her door without warning.
His chest vibrated beneath her cheek as he quietly laughed. "I realized that I didn't make my most solid argument last night for us sleeping together. I thought I'd come over and convince you why it would be a brilliant idea."
"How do you even know where I live?"
"You remember who my brother is engaged to, right?" She could practically hear the smirk that she knew was gracing his face.
"It's no wonder Caroline doesn't like you and Stefan spending much time together. You share way too much information with each other."
"Like you don't share everything with your little best friends."
Elena could admit that he had a point. "Fine, so I do tell them pretty much everything." She pushed herself up and turned to look at him. "So, what was your argument going to be? How exactly were you going to convince me to sleep with you?"
He smiled at her and looked into her eyes in that way that made her feel as if he was seeing into her very soul. "As much as I would love to convince you to have sex with me, I do not think that tonight is the night for that, and I'm not using my argument until you're ready."
Elena knew that he was right. Even though she did need an escape, sex didn't need to be it, not tonight. She needed to accept the friendship that he was offering her right now. So, with a devilish glint in her eyes, she teased him, "Aren't you supposed to be the arrogant playboy that doesn't care about the women he sleeps with?"
"Any other night of the week and I'd probably throw my morals out the window, but for some reason, I'm having this brief moment of maturity. You should be happy that I'm being a gentleman, it doesn't happen often."
"It happens more than you'll admit," she told him sincerely. "You're not as bad as you think you are."
"You've only known me a few months. Give it time." At the distant look in his eyes she flashed back on Caroline's words just hours before, and Elena saw a glimpse of the broken boy that she now realized lived within Damon. Just because he acted confident all the time didn't mean that he was.
Without allowing herself to overthink it she reached out and cradled his face in her hands. "I don't believe that. If you were as bad as you think you are, you'd have me in my bed right now, but you don't. You want me to believe I'm not a bad person, well you need to believe that you're a good person."
Damon tensed at her words, clearly uncomfortable with what she was saying. It was obvious that he wasn't used to hearing things like this. Unable to deal with it, he smiled and tilted his head to the side. "I thought I was the one that was supposed to be saying things like that tonight."
Elena kept her hands firmly on Damon's face. "Just because I've had a rough night doesn't mean I can't be a friend. Besides," she smiled at him. "Isn't this kind of our thing?"
Damon's smile soon relaxed into a genuine one, a small look of wonder in his eyes. "Yeah, I guess it is."