Waxing Pale
Twin Kats
It didn't take long after Albus' visit before Petunia put two and two together, but everything came quite crashing down in her little universe shortly thereafter. Her sister, Lily, was dead. It was obviously her nephew, and she'd been a right horrible aunt that had completely, truly, ruined a human being because some letter told her she would. That night she sat up in the living with the television on and watched tear jerking romance after tear jerking romance as punishment. She ate ice cream and sobbed to herself.
Life in the Dursley household however did not change. At least it did not change by much, and when it did begin to change the changes were tiny at best. Such as Petunia giving it a peanutbutter and jelly sandwhich alongside the glass of milk every day. Or when it began to speak a bit more, although words were mostly mumbled under its breath and were crass enough that Petunia oftentimes would swing her frying pan at its head in punishment.
Nobody in her household would speak such crass language. Not even her brain-fried nephew.
Then one night, during Petunia's by then nightly punishments of sitting in front of the television with a tub of ice cream and sobbing her eyes out while watching a movie, it got out of the cupboard. It had walked over to her, and looked up at her, and then climbed onto the couch and curled up beside her.
"...how did you...get out of the cupboard..." Petunia asked after a minute, sniffling lightly as she turned down the volume. It hunched down and buried its face into its knees a bit.
"I picked the fucking lock," it replied in a low grumble. Petunia swatted it over the head. "What's this?"
Petunia swatted it again for the question and blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes. "It's a...horrible movie."
"Why you watching?"
"Because I'm a horrible person," she sobbed. It frowned, and shifted to put its chin on its knees and then papped Petunia on the shoulder and said, awkwardly, "Shoosh."
From that point on Petunia would watch romantic comedies in the middle of the night, it would pick the lock on the cupboard door, they'd sit in rather companionable silence while Vernon snored asleep upstairs, and for a while Petunia would feel less like a horrible person.
Time flew all too fast after that and all too soon it was July the 31st and there was a knock on the door. It was in the kitchen, washing the dishes again, although it was doing so in a sullen and angry manner that Petunia was certain will end with her dishes in ruins. Vernon was yet again away at work and Dudley was over at Piers for a playdate. It's one of his last playdates before he starts secondary school at Smeltings. Petunia has never felt more proud.
The knock at the door sounded again and with a sigh Petunia left it to the dishes with a stern glare. She primped herself in the hallway mirror, just to be sure her hair was right, and then answered before there can be a third knock. Best not to be rude and all that.
Albus was on the doorstep in red colored robes this time, and Petunia's entire outlook turned sour.
"In, in, before the neighbors see you!" she snapped quickly, and pulled the older man in by the scruff of his beard. This time she doesn't bother to hide her disdain, or even to dispense with the pleasantries. She's quick about everything, efficient-like. "You're here for him, I take it, to take him off to that...school of yours? Well we have an issue. Vernon won't approve, and I need a good enough damn story to get the boy out of the house for him. Tell me you have one, or you won't get him. I know I have the right to refuse this."
Before Petunia, Albus sighed. To him she picked a rather terrible time to be overprotective, but now was as good a time as never perhaps.
"Arabella, at Number Eight, has noticed that Harry has not gone to school," the elder replied blithely. "She has reported this. Authorities have talked to you over the past weeks, you haven't mentioned it to your husband until the paperwork is finalized. Harry will be attending a specialty boarding school during the school year, and returning here in the summer."
Petunia nodded once. It was unappealing, to have involved authorities and such disgraceful issues of the like, but in some ways it was close to the truth she supposed. It would pacify Vernon at the least.
"He's in the kitchen," she said bluntly. "His bags are with him. I expect not to see him return until the end of the year, on our doorstep, in perfect working condition."
Albus nodded once and stepped past Petunia. She watched as he collected it with a soft smile and gentle voice, picked up his bags, and how almost hand in hand they left the house. She did not shed a tear.
She sniffled once, rubbed under her eye, and went back into the kitchen.
She did not shed a tear.
She did not.
The trip to Diagon Alley was not as uneventful as Albus would at first presume it to be. First the child is a slew of questions the minute they are out the door.
"Nubby grubfucker where's my lusus?" he demands instantly. "Were are taking me fuckass? Where the fuck are we?"
Albus was as patient as he could be, breathing slowly in to calm himself from the sudden onslaught of questions.
"Your lusus is where you left it, I told you this the last time we met, wriggler," he replied slowly. "I am taking you to a place called Diagon Alley where you will acquire your supplies for school."
"I don't fucking school, nubby," he said back with a glare. Albus has to close his eyes this time and count for a second.
"All young wrigglers will be schoolfed," Albus said back. "That is how things are. But then you already know this, so why are you playing the idiot wriggler?"
"Maybe because I want some fucking answers for once instead of mysterious bullshit, you nubby fucking moron!" the kid shouts, actually shouts, and Albus smiles. That is the child he expects to see more of soon enough.
"And you will have your answers in due time, or else what good is an adventure?" Albus stated. Karkat huffs and lowers his head to stare at his shoes. Pleased that, for the moment there is an agreement amongst them, Albus raises his wand hand and summons the Knight Bus. The resulting bang and appearance of the purple double decker causes Karkat to freeze. His eyes are wide, his mouth falls open.
A slight curve curls at Albus' lips. This is why he is doing this personally, to see this reaction upon the child's face. That and really, his personal hand needs to be in this little prophesy a bit more considering the situation. If he sent Hagrid, hell might have reigned down. Doomed timelines would have cropped up and since nobody was quite aware of this position of paradox space to correct the issue, well, the issue would never be corrected.
There would be no coming back from a Doomed mistake here, Albus had to tread lightly. He had to place his sticky fingers every, to ensure the proper outcome. It was for the best in the end. The Greater Good?
Perhaps he should do away with that monicker, actually.
Proceeding through Diagon Alley, once Albus had nudged Karkat aboard the Knight Bus, was met with the same wide eyed slack jawed outlook at the Knight Bus had been given. At least for a minute, the it was met with a curled nose and quite a few rude curses about the state of Diagon Alley and how run down it was among other things. Or about being dragged to the bookstore, the potions store, the pet store where Albus purchased an owl and gave Karkat a stern look and the comment to treat her properly.
"Why?" Karkat demanded. "I don't need a fucking hawkbeast or any kind of feathered fucking beast!"
Albus sensed the imminent tantrum and quickly interrupted, "Wriggler you will need her later down the road, for mail and other such things. There are no mail drones here, and she will be a loyal companion to you."
"Why the fuck aren't there any fucking mail drones? What kind of shitstain retarded backwards assholish hell is this?" Karkat replied grumpily.
"Such words are potentially triggering and I would suggest watching what you say," Albus said back, blinked, and then pinched his nose. "Oh dear. Come now, more to do."
They continued on with the shopping spree, entirely bypassing the giant white marble building that Karkat eyed a little fearfully. Albus practically paid for everything out of a little cloth bag instead of taking Karkat to a place resembling a bank. Their last stop was an old shop where they picked up a wand.
Up until that point the entire shopping spree was rather normal, if a bit hurried. Albus kept ushering Karkat along quick enough that nobody would recognize his galmoured persona. It was inside Ollivanders were things took a bit of an interesting turn.
"This place is giving me the fucking creeps," Karkat grumbled, and nearly hid behind Albus red robes. Albus smiled kindly down at the young troll and tried to be reassuring, although truthfully Ollivander gave him the creeps as well.
Behind them both, out of the shadows, stepped Ollivander himself.
"I do ever so strive to please," he said lightly. Karkat jumped in the air, and Albus barely withheld himself from jumping as well. "Albus Dumbledore," the old man said, peering to the great wizard through his spectacles. There was a pause in the examination. "Ah, perhaps I should correct myself? You seem to be less pretending to be yourself these days, and more acting like yourself don't you old friend?"
"Garrick," Albus greeted in reply, he smiled but it seemed rather tight. "We are here for a wand for a rather special young boy that you just terrified the living daylights out of. I know you like your kicks, but really. Must you right now?"
Ollivander blinked and then peered down at Karkat who had tried to shift behind Albus again, but Albus kept a rather tight hold on the child to keep him in Ollivander's view.
"Another one of you, then?" Ollivander muttered, although to whom was debatable. "What's this ones name then?" That was a question directed to Albus.
"Harry Potter," Albus said slowly, as if he were talking to someone particularly stupid. Ollivander paused, blinked, looked at Karkat again, and then looked back at Albus.
"Oh you are joking," he said after a second, then sighed, and then went on as if there was no exchange that had happened just then. "Well then, every Ollivander wand is made for a perfect fit. Which is your wand arm boy?"
"Er, what the fuck?" Karkat asked.
"The hand you write with you dull child," Ollivander clapped his hands twice and stepped around both Albus and Karkat. "Come, come, I haven't got all day."
"He's right handed," Albus interjected as Karkat continued to stare, utterly baffled, as a tapemeasure rose up and began taking measurements.
"Well then, continuing on, the wand chooses the wizard and all that. You honestly don't really care, I suppose, so I'll just leave it at that," Ollivander bustled off with a muttered, "None of you aliens do, honestly, no respect," and then returned and shoved a wand into Karkats face. "Holly, dragon heartstring, twelve and three quarter inches. Wave it, child."
Karkat, bewildered, wide eyed, more than a bit completely blindsided by what was going on, waved the wand. The shop's far wall promptly exploded in an impressive display of wood and fire.
"Oh dear," Ollivander muttered. "That is not it at all."
Albus sighed. This was going to take a while.
Three hours later and Albus and Karkat were practically thrown out of Ollivanders near decimated shop. Karkat by this point was dead silent, near comatose by information overload. Albus felt a little bad for it, but there was still more to do. He purchased a room for Karkat at the Leaky, set the kid up, gave him a list of instructions that he was certain the boy would obey if only out of mind numbing fear.
Poor thing was such a child, so young and utterly confused. It made Albus a little awkward, pulling Karkat into Hogwarts at the normal human rate when obviously it wasn't quite ready enough for him just yet, but they couldn't push this off. Besides, he knew the boy would arrive well in hand, and that was that.
"Right, Tom will bring you up food every day," Albus listed off again. "The abulation room is just there, this will be your respiteblock until its time for school to start. When its September 1st Tom will remind you to head out, make sure you have everything packed in your trunk. Step outside the Leaky, raise the wand—don't give me that look—and the Knight Bus will appear. Give them these coins and say Kings Cross. Platforms Nine and Ten."
"I got it, nooksniffer," Karkat grumbled. "Don't need to tell me 'gain." He's already said it about ten times now out of worry.
"Be careful, stay safe, I will see you when you arrive in one piece," Albus said after a minute, and then hesitated. He patted Karkat on the head and smiled. Looks like the boy's horns had gained a few centimeters since he'd last seen him.
"Hey! Don't do that!" Karkat messed with his hair and glared back up at Albus who smiled again and then walked out the door.
When Albus was back at Hogwarts not much later he paused and sucked on a lemon drop, worried that he forgot something important. However nothing important crossed his mind, so perhaps he didn't forget to tell the young child anything of importance after all. After all, it wasn't like he forgot about the famous glamour or anything like that.
There was a pause, and then, "Oh, bugger."
Eh, the kid could figure it out on his own.
Summary: Nobody is displeased to have more help against Lord English or Jack, but everybody is confused as to how this new group of humans showed up on the meteor hurtling through the Furthest Ring. Everybody except Karkat who is just cursing up a storm and facepalming. Repeatedly. Of course they'd crash the party. They can never leave well enough alone, can't they. / Potterstuck
This chapter kept growing. I skimmed most of the details, because the details are useless and boring at this point. Anyone who knows Harry Potter probably knows them by heart. All you should care about is what being Karkat will change, and that's what will be addressed, for the most part. Aside from that, I really don't wish to go into long winded detail about it all or I will be here for ages writing about stuff that most likely won't hold your interest, with details that aren't that captivating.
Aside from that, yes, yes I so went there with Karkat. Behold, his obsession with romcoms and romance and where it all begins. This is how it starts. Cue my evil laughter and other bullshit. Whatever. I'm kind of despondent right now, or not up to evil cackling. Stupid Signless is trying to overtake my head with ideas and its annoying.
Between him, Ψiioniic, and Gamzee my head's very, very crowded. Not to mention the chaos Luna is trying to get up to. So yeah, please excuse my while I attempt to quell the bunnies. I don't want to cull them, but I might at this rate. Its getting out of hand.
Enjoy your long chapter, I've gotta go. More soon.