Chapter 11

Time says it's the end of the day
My inside says for your lips to forget what time says
Or do I let go of the feeling when you steal the logic around me?
Oh, God save me, I'm trying

Elena smiled politely as the bartender deposited another beverage in front of her. It was anything but a wise choice to keep drinking when she had to be on a plane before too long, but as the coverage of Damon's wedding continued to flash over the screen, she couldn't stop drinking. Everything hurt and she wanted it to stop. He wasn't hers anymore and he never would be again.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good." Elena turned to Beverly, who had been caring and polite ever since the first picture of Damon had shown up on the television. She found it surprising. Most women from Damon's circles were barely nice to her when she was on his arm, and once things crashed and burned, she was looked at with contempt. In fact, she could think of a few women who would get pleasure from the pain she was experiencing. Yet, Beverly, who she'd been rude to, was being kind to her.

She sighed and tilted her head to the side. "I'm flying to see my ex-boyfriend in Nashville. I cheated on him with Damon." She announced this like she was talking about the weather. "We were together for four years and after barely knowing Damon a few weeks, I was already making out with him. I let my boyfriend hold onto the hope that we'd work it out and get married even though I knew it wasn't going to happen. Cause that's the thing with Damon, just a look from him and you'll find yourself almost willing to abandon everything."

Beverly smiled politely, her eyes warm. "Maybe we should get some food in you."

"I messed so many things up, you know?" She ignored Beverly's attempts to pry her away from her drink. There were so many thoughts running through her head, so many conflicting emotions, so strong that even the alcohol hadn't numbed them yet. "He and I, we were never supposed to happen. We were just going to have fun for a few months and then I'd go find some good guy, a lawyer or businessman, get married, and have kids. But I couldn't get out. I just kept getting deeper and deeper, accepting anything he could give me. He had sworn that he'd never be able to commit again, but I knew that was wrong. Now I wonder, maybe if I'd had the strength to get out, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Elena, you really don't—" Beverly tried to interrupt, but Elena forged ahead, on a train that couldn't stop. Now that everything was finally coming out, she couldn't put it back in. She couldn't bury it anymore.

"He thinks I'm a liar. Tells me I'm one all the time. And I am, I've lied about so many things. But they were mostly lies of self-preservation, lies I told myself because I was too scared to admit what was really happening. I was in love with him for months before I ever even realized it. I think I just buried it all, because then I'd have to acknowledge it, and run the risk of him pushing me away because of it. Those were the lies I told. And I think those were the lies he hated the most. I think he's gotten over what I did to him, but I don't think he'll ever get over what I did to myself."

Beverly sighed compassionately and rested a comforting hand on top of Elena's trembling one. "I know Damon has his issues, but I'm sure he's forgiven you."

"It's not that simple. I took one bad decision that I made with Matt and let everything spiral. There was no talking any sense into me, because it was Damon, and he does that, you know? I would just look into his eyes and know that he was enough. Then, one day, he wasn't. I left and I ruined everything. I messed up so many things for so many people because I was so stuck in my own head. And now he's gonna marry her. He's going to marry her and I'll have lost everything." The cries that were choked in the back of her throat finally broke free as tears slid down her cheeks. "He was enough then and he's enough now. He's more than enough. I'm never going to get it back. He doesn't belong to me anymore, he's hers, and I just miss him. I miss him so much." She cried into her hands. "I miss everything about him."

"You've been avoiding me." Elena froze with a martini shaker poised in the air the ice smashing to the bottom from the sudden halt. She looked across the bar at Damon. He was leaning casually against the wood, his eyebrows raised in a defiant challenge.

It took her a moment, but she quickly recovered and finished shaking the drink in her hands before quickly pouring it into the glass she'd already placed on the bar. She didn't look at him as she said, "I have been doing no such thing." She slid the drink across the bar to the young woman expectantly waiting for her drink. "Here ya go."

"You've been radio silent for three days. You're avoiding me."

Damon was completely right when he accused her of avoiding him. She had been dodging his calls for three days and swearing Caroline to a strict code of silence as well. Three days ago she'd gotten sick with a stomach bug that had her sick and feverish. She'd spent that time in bed and on the floor of her bathroom, and she'd been in no state for Damon to see her.

As he made so clear practically every time they were together, they were not dating. She was not his girlfriend and he was not her boyfriend. Technically, he was free to go out and sleep with any woman he wanted to, no repercussions. This meant that it was not his job to take care of her. She knew that if she told him she was sick, he'd either feel obligated to bring her soup and keep her company, or he'd make up some awkward excuse about how he was too busy to be around her. She hadn't needed that blow to her ego when she was sick.

So, Caroline and Bonnie had stepped in like the wonderful best friends they were and took care of her. They brought her soup, Gatorade, movies, and magazines. Bonnie had even stayed the night with her one night. Girl code dictated that in the absence of a boyfriend, girlfriends were the designated caretakers and they'd fulfilled their roles diligently.

She had made Caroline promise that she wouldn't tell Stefan though. By now, she'd more than learned that telling Stefan something was pretty much the same thing as saying it to Damon and vice-versa. The brothers might not agree on a lot of things, but they shared just about everything. If Stefan told Damon and she never heard from him, it would have been confirmation of something she didn't want to think about. It had been weeks since Caroline and Stefan's wedding and she was still deftly avoiding the newfound feelings she had for the blue-eyed man standing across from her.

Elena moved down the bar, leaving Damon unfulfilled and frustrated in the midst of other patrons waiting to order a drink. "What can I get for you?" she asked a young blonde at the other end of the bar.

"A hurricane, please," she shouted over the loud music.

"Coming right up." She quickly turned around and gathered the items she'd need for the beverage.

She was mixing the drink when Mark slid up next to her. "What are you doing on my end of the bar?" he questioned as he began mixing a drink of his own.

"Just thought I'd help you out," she explained, her voice probably far too upbeat, a fact that Mark quickly caught onto.

"Your end is packed." He motioned to the thick crowd waiting to order a drink. "Want to try again?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She spun on her heel and handed the rum-filled drink to the blonde. "Enjoy!"

"It wouldn't have anything to do with Damon, would it?" Mark was next to her again, handing four drinks over to a group of women, a pleasant smile on his face.

"Nope," she quickly denied, then plastered the smile on her face. "What would you like?"

"Two Blue Moons and three shots of Jack." The handsome man standing across from her flirtatiously winked at her as he ordered. "Keep a shot for yourself."

She smiled brightly at him, but rolled her eyes when she turned around. She liked the money she made from her job, but men constantly wanting to buy her drinks and get in her pants got old. Not to mention that this was her first night back to work after being sick. She still felt slightly disgusting and that she was sporting a green tint to her skin. The lecherous looks she received from several men tonight wasn't making her feel much better. Just because her work attire required her to don tiny shorts and a tight tank top did not mean that she was open for business. Well, she technically was, but only to one man in this bar; a man she was currently trying to avoid.

Seeing Damon tonight meant she had to explain why she'd been avoiding him, and then he'd spend ten minutes trying to convince her that he would have been happy to bring her soup. No matter what he said though, she knew it would just be a lie. Damon was a great guy, but he wasn't out to play the role of the dutiful boyfriend, and she wasn't in the mood for him to try to convince her otherwise. It was an insult to her intelligence and only brought forth things that she didn't want to think about. She wanted to keep things purely physical for as long as she could, and she couldn't do that if he tried to lie his way through the conversation.

The thing about Damon that most people didn't get was that while he was one of the most honest people you'd ever meet, he'd lie in a second if it fit his agenda. If he thought it would keep drama out of his life, he'd spend hours lying to her face, just so he wouldn't have to deal with emotions, which he found to be pesky and overrated.

She was just about to turn around and deposit the drinks on the bar when she felt a cool hand wrap around her upper arm. "Your shift is over."

"Hey!" she shouted and ripped her arm from his grasp. "What are you doing? You can't be back here."

"We need to talk."

"How about you quit hitting on the pretty lady and let her do her job?" The man that had told her to keep a shot for herself spoke up from a few feet away, an annoyed edge to his voice.

Damon swiftly gathered the bottles and small shot glasses in his hands and deposited them in front of the man. "Here ya go!" Damon lifted one of the shots of Jack Daniels and easily swallowed it. "Thanks for the shot."

The man was about to protest, but Damon turned his back on him and grabbed Elena's arm again. She resisted, but he was stronger and more determined, which left her trailing behind him. "Some of us actually have to show up at work to make money, Damon." She tried to tug free from his hand again, but his grip only tightened. "I'm serious, Damon! I really need this money tonight."

"Chill out, Mark is still going to split the tips with you."

"He needs that money too!"

"I know," he acknowledged easily and continued on, "Which is why I wrote him a check for a thousand dollars. He was more than happy to oblige."

Damon pulled her through the dense crowd, earning them annoyed groans and some unsavory names as he roughly moved people out of his way. "You can't just show up at my work and drag me out. Our arrangement doesn't work like that."

They reached the door to the street and he easily pushed it open and dragged her into the bitter cold. "Don't avoid me for three days and swear your best friend to secrecy and I won't have to."

"Wait, how do you – what?"

"Oh, come on," he groaned. "I'm narcissistic, not stupid. Blondie is probably a crappier liar than my brother and that's saying something, trust me."

Damon was still holding tightly to her arm as they moved down the busy street of New York City. "Why does it matter if I was avoiding you? We aren't committed or anything. If I want to have a few days to myself, I can have a few days to myself."

"If that were true, you would have told me." When Damon felt Elena's arm shake in his from the cold temperature he halted in his tracks and turned to face her. He deftly slid his coat off and slung it over her shoulders. "So, come on, Elena. Why have you been avoiding me?"

Elena sighed, knowing that Damon was going to push this until he got an answer that satisfied him. "I was sick. I had the stomach flu."

"Really? The stomach flu? You dodged me for three days because you were sick?" His voice was filled with utter disbelief at the explanation she was giving him.

"Yes, I was sick, okay?"

"Why would you avoid me 'cause you were sick?"

She was frozen into silence as she stared up at him. How could she explain this to him without sounding stupid or like she was completely in love with him? Granted, she did wonder about her intellect sometimes, especially when it came to Damon, but he didn't need to know that. She also wasn't in love with him and she'd really prefer that he didn't suddenly think she was.

"I just didn't think it was relevant information," she tried to explain. "There was nothing you could do. Caroline and Bonnie brought me soup and all of that stuff. Mark was fine to work for me for a few nights. Everything was under control, no reason to call you."

Damon looked down at the ground for a moment, a pensive look on his face. "I could have brought you soup."

Something twisted tight in Elena's gut as Damon looked up at her. Her mouth lifted on one side and she reached out to brush an unruly piece of hair down on his head. "That's what I have Caroline and Bonnie for. I didn't need you to bring me soup. Boyfriends bring soup, sex buddies don't."

"Elena, we're more than just two people who have sex." Against all better judgment and every rational fiber of her being, she felt a tiny piece of hope swell in her chest. She swallowed thickly as she stared at him, her lips pressed tightly together as she waited for him to continue. "You're my friend." He smiled and nudged her shoulder. "I thought you knew that by now."

Just as quickly as the hope swelled it came crashing back down, as did she. Reality surrounded her again, reminding her of what their situation really was. Her throat was tight as she said, "Of course I know that." Her voice sounded strained to her own ears, and from the small quirk in his eyebrows she knew it sounded off to Damon as well, but when she continued, his gaze returned to normal. "Next time I'm sick, I'll call you."

He seemed to accept this promise and smiled genuinely. "Good." He reached out and grabbed her hand in his and began pulling her down the street again.

"Wait, where are we going? I should go back to work."

"Caroline has dragged Stefan to a dueling piano bar. Let's go embarrass my brother."

Elena soon found herself sitting on Damon's lap in the dark, crowded bar that was known for playing any and every song imaginable on pianos. People would send up requests with money, and if you just so happened to be celebrating your birthday or wedding, chances were you'd get called up to be thoroughly mortified in front of everyone. She'd never been to anyplace like this or even heard of something like it, but she found she was quite enjoying it.

The crowd sang along and clapped happily, some even dancing in the free spaces they could find. Waiters made the rounds to make sure you always had a drink in hand and sheets to make song requests. They were all definitely nearing their drink limit, but it was a fun time and an amusing thing to watch.

The real fun started when Damon sent up $100 for Stefan to be called up on stage. "Stefan Salvatore, I need you on stage right now!" One of the men that was playing one of the pianos on stage looked out at the crowd and pointed to the stage.

"No, no!" Stefan started chanting. He turned to his brother, an annoyed look on his face. "Damon, what did you do?"

"Just sent up a little request. Go on!" He motioned to the stage, but Stefan remained frozen in his seat.

"I'm not going up there! I'm not doing that!"

Damon kept hold of Elena as he stood up and shouted, "He's here!" He pointed down at his brother, causing everyone to turn to look at a mortified Stefan. "You heard the man, get up there."

Stefan shook his head and pressed his lips tightly together. Caroline clapped excitedly beside him. "Come on, baby!" she encouraged, "Go on!"

"Paging Stefan Salvatore," the pianist spoke into the microphone. "Stefan Salvatore, please report to the stage."

"He's coming!" Caroline called out cheerfully while she tried to push Stefan from his chair. "You'll get sex! Go!"

Begrudgingly, Stefan stood up and made his way to the stage, a scowl on his face, everyone at the table laughing loudly at his expense. Elena took her spot again on Damon's lap when he sat down and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You are just mean."

Damon laughed and leaned his head against her shoulder. "This is gonna be so good. He's going to kill me."

The pianist picked up the sheet that Damon had sent up. "Stefan Salvatore, I would like you to pick a piano to sit on, any piano you want." Stefan glared out at his brother before hopping up on one of the black pianos on stage. "Stefan Salvatore, how old are you?"

"Twenty-four," he practically mumbled into the microphone that was handed to him.

"Little young there to be married, don't you think?" He paused and looked back down at the sheet of paper. "Stefan Salvatore, your brother wants us to congratulate you on your recent marriage. Where is that lovely lady? Stand up!"

Caroline giggled like a schoolgirl and hopped to her feet, waving her arms in the air. "It's me!"

"Is that a monogamous commitment you two have?" the other pianist questioned, earning him a hearty roar of laughter from the crowd. "That's a pretty girl you have there."

"Stefan's brother has also shared that his baby brother kept his virtue intact until his wedding night. He feels a song is in order to celebrate that his brother remained a virgin when so many others cannot resist the temptation." The pianist tossed the paper back to the piano as Damon's entire body shook beneath Elena. "For your wife's sake, I hope that was a short courtship. Shall we sing?"

"I think we should sing," the other pianist agreed.

Stefan's face was nearly bright red as the men began to sing about his "virtue" for two, long, gloriously embarrassing minutes. Damon could barely breathe, he was laughing so hard. Caroline was on her feet, cheering and clapping. It was the highlight of the night and she didn't think anything could ever top it. When it was finally over, Stefan hopped off the bar and shot back to the table. He reached out to slap Damon's head, but Damon used her as a body shield, making sure Stefan couldn't reach him.

When he sat down, he took the chance to roughly kick Damon's leg. "I'm gonna get you back for that."

"Oh, come on, it was epic." Damon tried to reason with his brother but he was having none of it. Only Caroline moving herself onto his lap could remove the scowl from his face.

Elena knew that she probably should have insisted that she go back to work tonight instead of going out. Damon did this a lot with her. Days that were once devoted to laundry and cleaning her apartment now seemed to disappear as she spent them with Damon. She didn't beg for extra shifts at the bar. All her extra time went to him now. She just wanted him around as much as possible. That was why she couldn't turn around and go back to work. It didn't even matter that she probably shouldn't even be drinking. She wasn't on antibiotics, but she had been given nausea medicine to take as it was needed. She needed to spend time with him and her friends though.

Granted, she had gotten to see Caroline and Bonnie plenty in the past few days, but it didn't count when she was sick. It also was nice to not have to tell Caroline that she wasn't pregnant. Throwing up and sex automatically meant she had to be pregnant according to Caroline. She practically had to go to the doctor to get the blood test results they'd done before she'd been prescribed with anything for Caroline to believe her. She and Damon were always safe. She never missed a day of her birth control. She may care about him, but she wasn't ready to have his child, or any child for that matter.

Her eyes shot open when Damon brushed his fingers over her forehead. "Your face is going to freeze like that. Stop thinking so hard." His fingers slid into her dark tresses. "You think too much."

"One of us has to." And it was true. One of them did need to think and while Damon was by no means stupid or lacking in common sense, he didn't think about the long term in things. He did what he wanted, when he wanted it, with no thought to the consequences. He just wasn't a big picture kind of guy. He lived in the moment and saw what was directly in front of him. Maybe that was one of the ways they seemed to fit so well. While he worked to keep her from getting too far ahead of herself, she worked to get him to slow down, even if just for a moment, and think something through.

"And I was thinking to myself, this could be heaven this could be hell." His voice was soft and almost got lost in the crowd as he sang along to the lyrics of Hotel California, the song that was currently playing in the bar. His eyes had that drunken glaze that made him look like a carefree teenager. His hair was unruly due to his habit of frequently running his fingers through the thick locks after a few drinks. His inability to sit still only got worse the more he drank. His hands couldn't stay still, his feet were constantly tapping, and his mouth seemed to never close. He was like a child with too much sugar.

Elena grabbed Damon's face and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "You're so pretty."

His eyes widened comically at the compliment. "I'm a boy, I can't be pretty. I'm irresistibly handsome, sex on two legs, and the hottest thing in town, but I am not pretty."

"If you say so." She smiled and pressed her forehead against his. "Welcome to the hotel California."

"I'm impressed." He smiled up at her. "You actually know some decent music."

She blew out a humored chuckle. He'd made it perfectly clear how he thought her taste in music was absolutely horrible. She listened to far too much girly music for his taste. And so what if she still had her N'Sync albums; they were classic.

"Okay, bathroom time!" Caroline announced and stood up. She tugged on Bonnie's arm and pulled her intoxicated friend to her feet. They stared down at Elena expectantly. "Come on."

Damon's arms tightened around Elena's waist. "No, she doesn't have to go."

"I'm sorry," she apologized and patted his arms. "We have to go together. It's a rule."

"No." He stuck out his bottom lip in a pitiful pout. "I'll get cold."

She giggled when he nuzzled his face in her neck. He pressed wet kisses against her heated skin, awakening a pool of desire in her. She smiled and ran her fingers over the short hairs at the back of his head. "If you ask nicely enough Alaric might sit on your lap."

"Unless he's Santa, promising to bring me everything I want for Christmas, I'm not going anywhere near his lap."

Alaric's comment allowed her the opportunity to rise from Damon's lap when his arms loosened as he laughed. Before he could argue, Caroline grabbed her arm and dragged her to the bathroom. They didn't have to wait in line long before making their way inside the small bathroom. Elena leaned against the wall, now feeling the full effects of the alcohol she'd consumed.

"You look a lot better," Bonnie commented from beside her, the glazed look in her eyes similar to Damon's.

"Beauty of the stomach flu. Comes out of nowhere and disappears just as quickly." She sighed and let her eyes fall closed. "I'm just glad I can see Damon again."

Elena had gotten used to seeing a lot of Damon now that they were sleeping together. She'd seen him a lot before then, but now it was a daily occurrence. She hadn't realized how much she'd come to depend on his presence until it was completely gone from her life, even if just for a few days. Even if she was scared of her growing feelings for him and what they could mean, he still kept her at ease. He made her laugh more than anyone else ever had. He didn't look down on her for her tiny apartment that was the same size as his bedroom and closet. There were so many things he brought to the table that she just hadn't experienced with Matt. He was like a breath of fresh air.

"You know, it wouldn't have been the end of the world if he knew you were sick." She looked over at Bonnie and opened her eyes in confusion. At Elena's look, she shrugged her shoulders and asked, "What? Just because I'm not on the love train for this doesn't mean I can't be objective."

"Well, you know I couldn't call him. We're not dating. He wasn't obligated to take care of me."

"But you want him to take care of you," Bonnie calmly pointed out. "You want more than just sex and you know it."

"I know no such thing."

"Liar."

"Speaking of liars," Caroline's voice interrupted her conversation with Bonnie, forcing Elena to gratefully meet Caroline's blue eyes in the mirror. "You're my best friend and I'll do anything for you, but no more asking me to lie for you. Stefan is mad at me."

Her brows furrowed together in confusion. "Why is Stefan mad at you?"

"Damon told him why you'd been avoiding him when they got our drinks earlier. He knows that I was keeping it from him, so he's mad."

"He's practically been all over you all night. You have that disgusting newly-weds thing going on."

"He's so drunk he'd make out with me even if I was puking my guts up in the bathroom." She turned off the sink and grabbed a small hand towel. "Salvatore men want one thing and one thing only when they drink – sex."

That was a trait she didn't need to know the brothers shared.

"I'm sorry," she apologized softly. "I didn't think he'd get mad."

"Another Salvatore thing, they expect honesty at all times." She tossed the towel into the basket beneath the sink and turned to face Elena. "You want to keep doing this thing with Damon, you need to learn a few things. Like the fact that even though they expect honesty all the time, they will lie for each other. It also wouldn't hurt you to learn that Damon isn't going to commit to you. He's never committing after Katherine, she screwed him up too much."

Elena pushed herself off the wall, a grimace on her face. "I'm actually feeling good tonight for the first time all week. Can we not talk about Katherine? I feel like I'm compared to her enough as it is."

"There are no comparisons to be made, Elena, just observations and facts."

"Whatever, I don't want to talk about this. Besides, I think this is the last conversation we need to have when we're all drunk." She turned to leave the bathroom, but Caroline grabbed her arm.

"I'm not saying Damon feels anything for Katherine. That ship sank a long time ago. I'm saying that because things ended so badly, he's not going to risk anything like that ever happening again. You get one shot with Damon and that's it. She used hers."

"I get that! I just don't get why she even has to be discussed. She has no part in what is going on with Damon and me."

Elena understood that Katherine played a big part in who Damon was as a person and the place he was at in his life right now. She hadn't met the woman, but she'd seen her and heard enough to know that things had been very complicated. She'd also heard plenty of times how she bared a striking resemblance to his ex-wife. Those were thoughts she didn't like to entertain. If she let those thoughts in it could only lead to an insecurity she didn't need. She was already working hard enough to keep the insecurity of her feelings out of the equation.

"She doesn't, but what she did to him does. They were married, Elena, as in 'till death do them part. It was kind of a big deal to him and the longer you sit around hoping that he's going to open up and commit to you, the more you're going to be hurt." Caroline sighed and released Elena's arm. "Just think about it."

Elena rolled her eyes and looked to her other friend. "Thank you, Bonnie. Nice to know who my real friend is tonight."

"Oh, now that's just a low blow. Now you're being petty."

"Maybe, or maybe you're just mad 'cause Stefan is mad at you, so you're taking it out on me."

"Well whose fault is it that he's mad?"

"Fine, lesson learned. I just won't tell you next time I don't want Damon to know something. Let's see how well you respond to being in the dark."

Caroline gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

Elena couldn't resist cracking a smile at Caroline's horrified expression. "Wouldn't I?"

Someone knocked loudly on the bathroom door, signaling that they were taking far too long in there. The tension in the small bathroom immediately dissipated. With the alcohol they'd consumed tonight, it was easy enough to move on from the tense conversation. It was easy to brush off and put a smile on her face.

"I guess that's our cue that we're taking too long." Elena unlocked the door and held it open for Bonnie and Caroline to exit before her. They received a few nasty looks from the women waiting in line, but she smiled sweetly in return. They made it back to the table easily enough to find the men all in a seemingly entertaining conversation with one another. Elena hated to break it up, but she leaned down and slid her hands down Damon's chest. She pressed her mouth next to his ear and asked, "What do you say we call it a night?"

He tilted his head back to look at her, a lazy smile on his face. "I think I could be okay with that." He grabbed hold of one of her hands and rose to his feet. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been fun, but I think I'm going to go have sex now."

"Damon!" she gasped and hit him across his shoulder. "He did not mean that!" He only laughed in response and guided her toward the exit. "You share far too much when you're drunk."

"I am merely intoxicated, not drunk."

"You are so drunk."

"We'll see who's drunk when we get back to my place." He held his arm out and easily flagged a cab down in a few moments. He opened the door and allowed her to slide in first before climbing in next to her.

While he told the driver where to take them, she situated herself against him, draping her legs over his and laying her head on his shoulder. "You smell yummy."

"Now you're the drunken one," he laughed as he began softly running his fingers through her hair.

"What took you girls so long in the bathroom?"

"Nothing." She answered him a little too quickly. "Just had to do girl stuff. You know how it goes."

"I'm proud to say that I don't."

"Well, it was just girl talk and touching up our makeup; stuff like that."

"Why do I feel like you're skirting around that whole honesty thing again?"

"What makes you think I'm not being honest?"

"The way your voice jumps a few octaves, for starters. I feel like that discussion had something to do with me and that it wasn't all sweetness and light."

Elena pulled away and turned in her seat to look at him. "We were talking about Katherine." She threw it all out bluntly, catching him completely off guard. His eyes grew wide, his shoulders stiffened, and he looked like he wouldn't be opposed to jumping out of the moving car. Ten minutes ago this was the last thing in the world she wanted to discuss, but if he was going to push it, she'd push back.

"Okay, I was wrong, I don't need to know."

"No, you obviously did want to know, so let's talk about it. You were with her for five years and you never mention her."

"Why would I?" He nearly balked at her. "She and you have nothing to do with one another. We don't have kids together, so it's not like there's anything that ties her and me together."

"You were married."

"Were, Elena. We were married. There's an emphasis on the past tense there."

"Are you sleeping with me because I look like her?" If it weren't for the heavy amounts of alcohol flowing through her blood right now, she'd never broach this topic. Katherine was a topic she didn't want to discuss any more than Damon did. She knew what everyone thought. She could see it in their faces every time Damon took her out.

He scoffed, clearly annoyed with the question. "That is the most ridiculous question I've ever heard in my life."

"Answer it."

"No!" he exclaimed. "I guess the two of you have some resemblances, but it doesn't go beyond the dark hair and dark eyes. For one thing, you have a soul. You're also sweet and sometimes insecure."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

"I don't mean it in a bad way. A little insecurity is actually nice sometimes. It shows that you're human." He groaned and ran a hand over his face. "I've had too much to drink for this conversation."

"You really aren't sleeping with me because I look like her?" she questioned quietly.

He reached out and cupped her face in his hands. "Katherine is my past and when I'm with you, I'm not thinking of anyone but you." He leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss. It was gentle but insistent and had her immediately wanting more. She sighed into his mouth as he pulled her against him, neither caring that they were in the back of a taxi.

He gripped her hips and pulled her onto his lap, where she could feel his growing desire pressing into her core. His tongue was doing a deep exploration of her mouth while his hands began an exploration underneath the thin material of her tank top. She was lost in every touch and every kiss she received from him. They could stay in the backseat of this taxi forever and she'd never have enough of him. Kissing Damon, having his hands run over her skin, was like an assault on the senses. They didn't even need to be having sex for him to set her ablaze with desire.

The cab came to a stop as the taxi driver politely cleared his throat from his seat. She whimpered into his mouth before pulling away and removing herself from his lap. The doorman for his building was at the car door in an instant, opening the door for her to get out. If he could tell what they'd been doing just moments ago, he didn't show it. He just politely smiled and held out a hand for her while Damon paid the driver and soon followed her out of the taxi. When his feet were on solid ground, he grabbed hold of her hand and practically dragged her to his building, nearly forgetting to hand a generous tip to his doorman.

They were just in luck; someone exited the elevator moments after they entered the spacious lobby of his building, allowing them to bypass the antagonizing waiting game. The moment he had her in the elevator and the doors began to close, he pinned her against the wall. The laugh immediately died on her lips when he kissed her again. This time, there was nothing gentle about it. The kiss was passionate and demanding, forcing her to give everything right back to him. She moaned in approval as his mouth roamed to her neck.

His fingers were working on the button of her shorts when the elevator dinged loudly, signaling their arrival to his floor. She never let his mouth leave her skin as they exited the elevator. The walk to his penthouse was short, with him being one of only two occupants on the floor. She slid her hands into the front pocket of his pants and pulled out his key ring to unlock his front door. Her hands trembled as she struggled to get the key in the lock. It was hard to focus on a task when his hand was now sliding into her panties. With more effort than it should have taken, she finally got the front door open.

They stumbled into his penthouse and he kicked the door shut. He pushed his jacket from her shoulders as he guided her back toward his bedroom. It soon became a trail of abandoned clothes leading to his room, bringing them that much closer to the bed with each item of clothing they shed. When they finally made it to his bedroom, they were completely naked and ready to explode.

He lifted her in his arms and deposited her on his bed. She supported her weight on her elbows as she smiled up at him, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip. He was fully exposed before her, hard and ready to be inside of her, and it was a gorgeous sight. His eyes remained locked on hers as he moved onto the bed and pulled her legs apart. He'd seen her naked more than a hundred times, but she still blushed under his intense gaze. She could only swallow thickly as he lowered his head to the apex of her thighs and ran his tongue over her wet center.

Her head fell back against the soft cotton of his comforter as he continued on, unable to hold it up any longer. "God, Damon." She buried her hand in his hair, holding him closer to her as she rocketed toward oblivion. It was quick and frenzied, but after three days without him, she fell over the edge, screaming his name as she went.

There was little time to recover before he was hovering over her, a satisfied smile on her face. "You ready for more?" She was left mute, only able to nod her head. He expertly positioned himself and thrust into her, joining their bodies after too many nights apart. "God," he moaned when he was fully inside of her. He remained still for a moment, reveling in the feeling of being with her again. It was only when she clenched her muscles that he began to move. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, tangling their limbs together as they moved as one.

His eyes were like beacons of light above her, leaving her unable to look away. She could see every emotion that flashed through his gaze, every moment of ecstasy, fulfillment, and happiness. Everything that was building inside of her was so much more than just physical, but emotional as well. She was experiencing every feeling that she had for him, good and bad, and it was amazing and scary all at the same time.

She could only moan her appreciation until she went hurtling over the edge again, this time bringing him with her only moments later. He lowered his forehead to hers, out of breath and spent, but his eyes were still locked on hers. "I missed that," she murmured, moving her fingers up to get lost in the sea of his dark hair.

"I missed you."

Those three words may not mean much to most people, but they made her heart soar. He had missed her while she had been sick. He'd thought about her and wanted her. She wasn't just a girl he only thought about when she was in his presence. She was a genuine part of his life and it gave her some small sense of comfort that had been lacking during her conversation with Caroline and Bonnie.

He rolled off of her and pulled back the covers so they could slide beneath the sheets. They lay on their sides, facing each other, almost as if they were scared to take their eyes off of one another. It was how they stayed for the remainder of the night; limbs interlocked, bodies pressed together, eyes glued to each other until they finally drifted closed. His were the first to drift shut, leaving her to watch him as he slipped into a peaceful sleep.

Damon may never be able to give her anything more than what he could give her tonight. He may never truly be hers to keep, but he was hers tonight. She may look like Katherine and others may judge what they don't understand, and it would be a hard pill to swallow some days. She would continue to wonder how this would end and where that would leave her, but right now, in this moment, what he could give her was enough. She would take anything he could give and she would make it count.