Chapter 2 – Valentine's Day

Summary: I'm the columnist for Vongola High School's weekly newspaper. This elite school abounds with hot, popular semes and cute, adorable ukes. Strangely enough, they still write to me for love advice. That's odd…

Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…

A/N: Whoops, been some time since I updated. But either way, I'd like to make an announcement: TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY! :3. 4 June desu. Just 5 days away from our favorite pineapple pedo's birthday. So I decided to upload all my fics at once today, and then go eat some cake or something.

~Start of article~

It's Valentine's Day~ Chocolate, anyone? After all, love is in the air, peeps! (Not to mention plenty of love letters scrawled on toilet walls. Yuck.) I've been bombarded with roses, roses and more roses from my various readers. No chocolate however. That's sad. ):

Anyway, let's jump straight into the meat of the matter. Today we have a lovelorn letter, and when I read it, it leads me to suspect a lot of things…

Dear Missy Aiko,

I am in love with someone. He's really nice and sweet to me, and I guess we would be counted as best friends, but he doesn't seem to understand my feelings for him. I love him so badly, but I can't be with him. Why? Because he already has a boyfriend!

What's worse, his boyfriend is really good-looking and possessive of VongolaBrunet (Let's call my crush that, shall we?). They've been going out for a while now, and it seems impossible to break them up (Although there was this big brouhaha over some chocolate-covered thing sometime back.)

I know it's cruel, but could you tell me how to get the guy I want? I want to know how to break VongolaBrunet and his boyfriend up. I'm sure I can be a much better and more understanding boyfriend.

I want him and will stop at nothing to get him.

-TrueFlameShimonTenth

Oh drear. I feel so sorry for TrueFlameShimonTenth. And so horrified too, since he's asking me how to break up a perfectly happy couple! Well, well, well.

Dear TrueFlameShimonTenth,

Holy sandwich, you sounded very passionate in your letter. And wow, wanting to break up a perfectly sound relationship? Well. Here goes then. But I warn you: Through no fault of mine am I responsible for the chaos you are about to invoke.

So here it is: First, start by sowing discord between VongolaBrunet and his boyfriend. In other words, make them suspect each other. Spread rumours and gossip around, amplify it, make it bigger than it actually is. Start a rumour like say: VongolaBrunet was seen making out with so-and-so. His boyfriend had slept with so-and-so. Spread it around. Put it on the Internet if you have to. All this must be done under the cover of anonymity of course.

This will ultimately result in a strained relationship. Thus, this will render VongolaBrunet weak and vulnerable. Spend time with him. Make yourself far more attractive to him than his boyfriend. Convince him to try going out with you. Persuade. Beg. Coax. Do anything. And then let things snowball from there.

Whatever happens, this is all through your own doing.

-Missy Aiko

Well, that's about all. My hand's tired. So, enjoy your Valentine's Day peeps!

~End of article~

A/N: Oh, phew... Cake-time guys! XD.