Relocation Factor

Chapter Four: Coping

Rainbow Dash looking at him as he shuffled away, Bren began the climb down the rocky hill where he had failed to contact someone back home. He tried not to think of how he was stranded here in this land of talking animals, but his subconscious kept trying to push through, insisting he devote his attention to it. The ensuing stalemate resulted in a nearly hour-long climb down while his mind was completely blank.

The terrain on the hill and the length of the journey sparked a memory which caused images of home to break through. He remembered growing up in Vancouver, and how he used to love climbing the Grind trail on Grouse Mountain. He hadn't done it for years on end; when he joined the military he was posted in Edmonton, and after he passed selection for special forces he was relocated again to Petawawa, outside Ottawa. Still, the memory of pushing himself up that trail with only a sweat towel and a few bottles of water for companionship was one that carried no bad memories or associations; it was perfect. And even though it had to be close to half a decade or more since he had done it, the memory of the lush mountainous hike being impossible for him to do every again filled his heart with sadness.

By the time he had forced his mind away from happier days, he had reached the bottom of the hill. He unslung his rifle and walked around to the other side where he had stood before Rainbow Dash carried him into the air. As he arrived, he noticed Applejack, who had set up a series of buckets beneath one of the luscious apple trees. A mighty kick from her hind legs rocked the apples off of the branches. A dull metallic sound resonated as they landed and filled up the buckets.

"Well howdy there, Bren! You didn't walk all the way down that hill by yourself, now did you? I'm sure Rainbow Dash would have given you a lift down as well as up!" Applejack's voice carried a friendly lilt to it, like a distant relative that was more of a close friend than family member. Still, the calmness of her voice did little to soothe the weary soldier.

"I talked with her already, Applejack. I figured I could use the walk down," Bren said, making no effort to hide the sadness in his voice.

Not missing a beat, Applejack donned a face of concern. "What's wrong, sugar cube?"

Bren had to think for a second on how to respond. She wouldn't understand what had just happened or what was going on. One thing he had learned is that it was no use denying that something was wrong; what was possible however, was reminding them that it didn't affect them. "Don't worry about it." Bren said simply.

"Well, whatever it is that's getting you down, maybe some fresh apple crumble could cheer you up? We've got some great apple cider for you to wash it down with too!" She seemed eager to help. Bren took a miniscule measure of comfort in that. Still, it didn't solve any of the problems on his rapidly lengthening list.

"Thanks but no thanks," he said, still trying to be polite. "I think I'll just head back to the library, though. I'll let you get back to work." Bren dragged his feet back the way he had came earlier. Applejack didn't resume her task of kicking apples from the trees; she simply stared at him as he walked away, looking nothing but concerned. As he made his way back through the village he didn't even bother to remain alert and tactical. His chinstrap was undone and swung freely in sync with his step, his eyes remained fixed on the floor, and he held his rifle in one hand by the slip ring, rather than up to his shoulder ready for use. What was the point? None of the locals were hostile. And if they were? Fuck it, let them come. No real point anymore. He was stranded here, his team and closest friend were dead, no one could hear his calls for help, and the man responsible for all of it was going to get away with it, and further his own plans of God knows what. And he'd probably betray more troops. And more good men would get torn up.

But the worst part of all wasn't any of that. He had been stranded before, where he thought there had been no hope of rescue. He had seen good friends get killed in front of him. He had been in operations that had been screwed over due to botched intelligence. No, what got to him the most was that he was powerless to do anything. With him stranded here who knows how far from home, and the rest of the team likely dead, Joson had effectively won. And that didn't just fill him with rage, it hurt. The fact that all power had been taken away from him to make things right was the worst feeling in the world. He was a little kid again, with an agenda of things he wanted to accomplish but was unable to because he was too young. Except that now "too young" had been replaced by "too far away".

By the time he made it back to the tree that the library was housed in, it was already dark. He planted himself against the solid trunk and just stared into the starry night sky. The moon, massive, white and round, had crested into view. Bren studied it and saw that it was different from the moon he had studied for many years back home in schools, and with his own eyes, trying to occupy time in trenches on training exercises. The craters and the dark seas were positioned all wrong. This was a moon, but it wasn't HIS moon. The reality of how far away he must be finally hit him, and then Bren MacMillan did something he hadn't done in years.

He cried. He leant his rifle against the trunk, crossed his arms across his knees to form a makeshift cradle for his head, discarded his helmet and wept. He wept for not one clear thing in particular, but for anything his mind could find the justification to shed tears over. He wept for the good friends he had lost. He wept for the good friends he lost before this whole mess even started. He wept for Craig. He wept for what little family he had left. He wept for the home he'd never see again. He wept that a madman was going to win. But most of all, he wept for himself, and the fact that there was nothing he could do.

"Excuse me, are you all right?" said an unseen voice. Snapping back to reality, he snatched up his rifle and pointed it at the source of the voice. Another pony was there, this one a dark purple with a unicorn horn sticking from its forehead. It recoiled and stepped back slightly in surprise. Bren lowered the weapon. He had drawn on enough friendlies today. "You must be Bren. I'm Twilight Sparkle. Spike sent me a message about you. Seems as though you've had a bit of a rough day."

Bren wiped the tears from his face and stood up to shake the Equestrian's hoof. "Bren MacMillan. Good too meet you. And you can't even begin to speculate on the day I've been having." Bren paused. "Sorry you had to see that. And sorry for drawing on you."

Twilight seemed confused by the second part of his sentence, but the first she addressed. "Don't apologise. Showing emotions isn't anything to be ashamed of." Bren could have drawn up a list of his beliefs against that a mile from end to end, and a list of personal experience confirming it just as long, but he didn't feel much in the mood for an argument. "Anyway, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like. I could use the company; it'd be a welcome bit of variety from just Spike and I."

Bren smiled. "Much obliged, Twilight. It's more than you owe me." Twilight seemed confused at this statement as well, but nonetheless the two opened the door and headed inside. Bren heard snoring sounds coming from up the stairs; it sounded like Spike was asleep. Bren kitted down, removing his armour, rig, pack, holster and kneepads. Assembling them in a neat pile and resting his helmet and rifle atop them like cherries on ice cream, he sighed a sigh of both relief from their burden and sadness.

There was a knock at the door. Twilight Sparkle's horn began to glow, and to Bren's surprised, the door swung open by itself. In marched Rarity and Fluttershy, with the former carrying a large satchel.

"Ah, Twilight! So good to see you! I hope you had a pleasant trip?"

"Good to see you too, Rarity. Same with you, Fluttershy." Twilight smiled. "The trip was great. I got a lot of work and studying done. Still, it is good to be back in Ponyville. I missed all of you. Speaking of which, what brings you here? It's getting awfully late."

"Yes dear, and we're so sorry to bother you at this hour, but we thought that that hike down the hill and back here would leave our new friend Bren here absolutely exhausted. I brought over some of my most expensive lotions and soaps. I figured our new friend here could use a clean up after such a long day rummaging about in all that awful dirt." Rarity shuddered at the mention of the word and handed the satchel to Bren. This could be useful. He hadn't packed his shaving kit before they left for the mission, so he didn't have any toiletries with him when he arrived. Now that he had this, he could at least keep himself clean.

"That's really nice of you, Rarity. All of my stuff is back where I'm from, so this is going to come in really handy. Thanks a lot. You too, Fluttershy." Bren smiled broadly and laid the bag down next to his kit. Fluttershy still avoided eye contact with him. He sighed. "Look, let's shoo the elephant out of the room. I know I said it earlier, but I have a feeling you didn't believe me. I really am sorry for yelling at you and threatening you, Fluttershy. You really have to understand that this is a really strange place for me. I came here directly from the middle of a fight for my life. I had no idea whether you were friendly or not. I couldn't take any chances. I know that I scared you in the course of that, and for that I'm truly sorry."

Fluttershy looked up at him this time. "That's…that's okay, Bren. I understand now that you were very scared. And I suppose I should have figured that after the first time you apologised you really didn't mean any harm."

There was another knock at the door, and this time Rainbow Dash and Applejack walked in. "Evenin' Twilight. Good to have you back. Pinkie Pie just finished cleaning out the cake shop, so she's proper passed out now that the sugar rush has worn off." Applejack looked at Bren. "Bren, something had been bothering me every since you left my farm. I know you said not to get my horseshoes all tangled up over it, but it still bothers me to see anypony that worked up over something. I brought over some leftover apple crumble and apple cider. Maybe we can talk it over? I'm a good listener." Bren's stomach rumbled. He hadn't eaten since about five hours before they stepped off for the mission. He was starving.

"Thanks, Applejack," was all he could think to say.

"I have something to say too, Bren," Rainbow Dash said nervously. "I'm really sorry I laughed at you. It just looked funny when you were getting angry after not being able to get any of your machines to work. I didn't know what you were trying to do with them. I didn't know you were trying to talk to your friends. When you wouldn't let me fly you down and walked off the hill instead, I just felt awful. I really didn't mean it." Rainbow Dash looked the most distraught out of the two of them.

"That's okay, it wasn't you. I would have walked down anyway even if you hadn't been giggling the whole time. I just needed the walk to clear my head." Bren looked at the ground. "For all the good it did. At any rate, apology accepted. Just next time warn be before you shoot me up into the air like that. I've been attached to SPIE rigs that were less terrifying." Despite not understanding the reference, Rainbow Dash cracked a smile. "Which reminds me, I'm probably keeping you awake, Twilight. Sorry about that."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all," replied Twilight. "I'm not that tired anyway." She looked around at the ensemble before her. "Say, seeing as how everypony is here, how about we all have a sleepover? I've only had one before, and that was just with Rarity and Applejack. I've never had one with all of you. Besides, I'd really like to learn a little about you, Bren!" The ponies all chattered excitedly.

"Well, I don't want to be a spoilsport…" Bren answered nervously.

"Great! Rarity, dig out some bedsheets and make a place for Bren to sleep. Applejack, bring the cider and food upstairs." The ponies moved off to their tasks while the remainder headed upstairs and sat in a circle. Spike continued to snore away. Bren admired that; it was a trait he shared himself. He could sleep through a damned nuclear explosion.

"So…uh…Twilight! Let's hear a bit about you." Bren said, getting the conversation started. He listened attentively as Twilight Sparkle told him the story of how she came to Ponyville; the battle with Luna, the Elements of Harmony, to Bren it all sounded a bit surreal, as though he was living in a cartoon show.

"…and that's how I wound up here in Ponyville," concluded Twilight. "The princess tasked me with remaining here so I can continue my studies of friendship and report my findings to her. I'm really interested to see what lessons I'll learn from you, being here, Bren!" Bren nervously chuckled at the flattery. "Which reminds me, I think it's time you told us your story! I'm sure all the others are as anxious to hear about where you came from as I am!" The ponies all nodded in unison.

Bren thought for a minute as to how he would word and simplify and explain all of this to them. He decided just to wing it as best as he could. "Well, I'll put things as simply as I can. I'm a soldier with the Canadian Forces. People like me basically protect our country from threats."

"Like the Royal Guards?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Uh, sure." Bren said, having no idea what those were. "Anyway, the Canadian Forces is currently in this country called Afghanistan. Well, the main group has pulled out, but we left behind some people to train the police and military of the locals. And then there's guys like me, who do secret stuff." He thought long and hard about how he'd phrase his next part. "My team and I were on a mission to recover what we thought was a stolen piece of equipment. We were sent by a man named Colonel Joson." His teeth gritted at the mention of the traitorous officer's name. "When we found the device, Joson arrived with a group of private military contractors: mercenaries." When Bren saw the confusion on the ponies' faces, he clarified. "They're basically soldiers like me, but they work only for money. They don't care about defending their country or helping protect innocents. They're only after their next paycheck. They ambushed and killed my team, and before I could do anything to stop him, Joson activated the device, which somehow sent me here." The ponies now looked scared and saddened. "And that's why I need to get home. I need to find Joson…and I need to warn everyone that he's a traitor." Bren had clenched a fist in anger, which was now shaking violently.

Twilight broke the collective silence of the ponies. "So…when you find this Joson, what are you going to do?"

Bren's voice had reverted to its soldier mode: growly and rough. "I'm going to kill him," he said flatly. "I'm going to kill him and all of those mercenaries. Everyone that was involved in the betrayal of my team and I is dead. That's why I need to get home." He looked around and saw nothing but horrified faces from the ponies. "Uh, look, I should get to bed. The rest of you have fun." He abruptly stood up and retired to downstairs. Passing his bed, he pulled up a chair and stared out the window, trying in vain to channel his rage into the night sky. He heard the clopping of hooves approaching and turned to see Applejack gingerly pull up beside him.

"Look, sugar cube, that story you told me was horrible. Now, I'm getting the feeling that folks where you're from don't have the same feelings on friendship as we do."

Joson's smiling face as he pushed the button that betrayed them all even after all the missions he commanded them on shot through Bren's head. "No," he replied. "I guess we don't."

"Well, we're different around these parts, y'see? And that's why if you ever get homesick, or lonely, or you just need someone to talk to…well…you know where to find me, y'hear?" Bren smiled a warm smile of appreciation.

"Thanks, Applejack. That means a lot. Really."

Applejack moved her head closer to Bren's and nuzzled it. "I'mma let y'all sleep. G'night, Bren." Bren waved as the pony headed back upstairs. He decided to take her alluded advice and get some rest. He was having trouble keeping his eyes open anyway. Not even bothering to remove his boots or even get under the blankets, he collapsed unceremoniously on the bedspread and shut his eyes. A minute or so later, as his consciousness was on the verge of slipping off into sleep, he felt a presence in front of his face which caused his eyes to shoot open. Rainbow Dash lay next to him, still with the look of sadness he had seen on her face on top of the hill.

"Look, Bren, I can't begin to understand what you're going through. I never had that many friends growing up…until I met all the others. I couldn't stand to lose any of them. For you to lose all of your friends…that's something I can't even begin to understand. I think that…" Bren widened his eyes, urging her on. "…maybe fillies like me and…uh…colts like you should stick together." Bren smiled at the terminology used on him.

"Heh…yeah, maybe you're right. At any rate, this 'colt' needs his sleep. Enjoy the rest of the slumber party." Rainbow Dash walked back up the stairs as Bren watched her. She paused at the top of the stairs and gave him one last look. Bren smiled. He rolled over to face the opposite wall and drifted off to sleep at last.