A/N: BEFORE YOU READ. lets just give a round of applause to the fast updating once again! THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
alright im done, continue :]
Disclaimer: I dont not own Twilight or Feeling Sorry For Celia.
As of today I am officially 3 months pregnant, and I don't know what the hell to think of it still.
I have returned to school, after my three day break, only to return with everyone knowing I am pregnant, but leaving the most important part out. The fact that it was Edward Masen's baby. I'm sure, yes, I'm positive no one knows its Edward Masen's baby, and even though I feel him pass me in the hall, I don't even mutter insults under my breath. I simply walk by, maybe a frown on my face but nothing more. The truth : I couldn't hate Edward Masen.
This damn baby that was growing inside of me made it absolutely impossible, and horribly awkward while sitting next to him in class or walking past him in the halls. I knew nothing much about the boy to even call him my friend, but I had the privilege to call him my baby daddy. Oh joy. It was even worse, the past month when I had skipped school for about a week, my morning sickness suddenly returning, to my great displeasure. And it was even worse than the beginning of my pregnancy.
Katherine said it was normal, and the dizziness was too, even though it still worried me, she had also scheduled an appointment for me to see the doctor, to make sure the baby was growing healthy. Except I'm kind of curious to see what the doctor will say when he or she discovers the baby is the spawn of Satan. A giggle almost erupted from my lips, and I looked around my Biology class to make sure no one noticed.
Dear Bella,
Josh Turner just saw you giggle, and you look like you just smoked a pound of weed.
Just thought we let you know.
Love,
Things You Didn't Know Inc.
I sighed deeply and returned to my intense thinking, to calm myself.
The baby bump that was no longer just a 'bump' that stuck out of my shirt, for everyone to see, and even though I think it just looks like I'm becoming fat, everyone knows for sure it's a baby bump. Its is ridiculous. Not to mention the amazing growth of my boobs, its disgusting. I mean sure I never had the biggest boobs, and if I really wanted them to grow, I wouldn't want them to be all squishy like they are now.
Isabella,
You were just thinking about your own squishy boobs.
Beautiful.
A Group Full Of Sarcastic People.
"Hey Bella." A voice whispered next to me, and I was snapped out of my deep thoughts.
"Huh?" I raised my head from my hands to look next to me.
"Are you okay?" And when my eyes met the person next to me, I almost jumped out my seat in horror. Edward Masen was sitting next to me, like he does everyday, except today he wasn't here when class started and I do not recall anyone coming in the class room, let alone Edward. I think I would notice it, taking, I was sitting comfortably in my seat today instead of curled up at the edge of the desk.
"Yeah." I swallowed, startled by the intense stare of his bright green eyes.
"You looked like your were going to throw up." Edward muttered looking a little uncomfortable.
"Oh." I sighed putting my hands out in front of me, and ripping my eyes away from his. "I'm fine"
"Good." He said awkwardly, and I turned away from him completely, trying to silently move my seat away from him further. I cleared my throat and tried to go back to my intense thinking, that was so calming before, because I was quite close to a panic attack now. I could see from the corner of my eye, Edward visibly relaxed in his seat. I tried to focus somewhere else.
"Are you sure you're okay?" His velvet voice whispered to me, and the simple question made me want to break into sobs. My eyes started to swell up with tears and I was no longer in my calm mood.
"Yes Edward I'm fine." I snapped quietly, turning to face him, realizing it was a bad idea. He saw the tears in my eyes and shook his head at me.
"But your crying." He insisted.
"Oh my goodness, well for one I'm pregnant, two, you're the baby's father and you still don't believe it." I hissed in a whisper, and that sure shut him up. He froze, and I didn't stare long enough to study his expression because I looked away disgusted.
"Don't talk to me again, you make things much worse." I blurted, and the bell rang saving me from my misery. I rushed to my next class as fast as I could, trying to ignore the stares as I walked through the hall way.
Bella,
Don't walk to fast, you remember what happened last time.
Suggestion: Slow down Miss Swan.
Love,
Warning And Worried INC.
Isabella,
You made it. You made it down the hall, even after they warned you. You didn't listen, you just kept going. And you know what? You made it, you didn't even stumble once.
Bravo. Bravo.
Sincerely,
Embarrassing Moment Recorders
"It looks lovely." Katherine sipped her egg nog as she stood before the lovely Christmas tree, we had just finished decorating. It was big and beautiful, lights shining bright and colorful, each ordainment hung perfectly. Some candy canes and ribbons hung around and it was indeed beautiful.
"It is." Alice smiled, as she sat next to Tommy, who was holding her hand and nodding in agreement. It seems the couple had gotten quite close while I had been involved with my own problems. They looked so cozy and warm wrapped up on the edge of the couch, Alice in his arms, while holding his hand, both of them gazing at the Christmas tree. It was such a pleasant thing to watch, such a nice thing to witness. If you ask me, I would even say they were in love, the way they glance back and forth at each other. Tommy almost glowing with happiness, when Alice turned to kiss him on the cheek lightly. I couldn't believe I didn't realize the connection sooner.
"It's beautiful isn't it Bella?" Alice said still staring at the Christmas tree.
"Yes, it is." I answered, a slight smile in my voice, as my eyes never left the perfect couple on the couch. What they had found was beautiful. And I feared I might never find it, I didn't even know I wanted it.
"You want some egg nog Bella, you can have egg nog right?" Tommy asked while breaking away from Alice to get up off the couch. I had to hake my head to concentrate on what he was asking.
"As long as its out the carton." I sighed and raised my empty glass to him.
"That reminds me you have a doctors appointment in a few days." Katherine thought to herself.
"Oh I bought you a new shirt!" Alice squealed, with delight.
"Alice, I thought I said chill on buying me things." I sighed.
"But I love you." Alice smiled and put a hand up to stop me from responding.
"Anyways, I got it that new Maternity store." She smiled wide.
"Joy." I mumbled.
"Just wait till you see it." Alice clapped her hands together.
"What do you feed her?" I turned to Katherine, my eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Don't blame me, it must be her fathers genes." Katherine shrugged with a sly smile, knowing very well Alice's personality reflected her own perfectly.
"Mhmm." I rolled my eyes, and Tommy came back into the room holding my glass of egg nog.
"Not too much Bella." Katherine warned.
"I know." I smiled politely and was kind of touched with her concern with the baby. It still scared me to know there was a baby inside of me, growing. I hadn't even thought about if I wanted to keep it, and if I do what would I do with it? Who would help me. Not Edward Masen of course because he's much too good for me I suppose. Him and all his Satanic-ness.
"You okay Bells?" Alice looked at me concerned.
"Yeah, just thinking." I mumbled. They let it go and went back to admiring the Christmas tree and speaking of other things, knowing the topic of the baby would just frustrate me to no point. I let myself tune out of the conversation and relax into the couch, knowing worrying about my problems would do nothing to solve them. I wondered what Charlie and Renee were doing right now, at home. Do they have a Christmas tree up? Do they miss me? How could they do that to me? I haven't spoken to either one of them, since the day they decided to disown me.
"I think I'm going to go to bed." I struggled to get myself off the couch but I did it, it made me smile with happiness, I didn't even know I had in me. I blamed all the weird mood swings on the baby. It was the damn things fault. No scratch that it was Satan's fault. A soft knock was heard at the door and their worried eyes that were on me, were now on the door. Katherine started for the door, but I put my hand out for her to stop.
"I'm up I'll get it." I insisted. I hated not being able to help, it was ridiculous, I wasn't 9 months pregnant yet. I shuddered as the picture of me with a huge belly went through my head, and opened the door. I should have checked through a window or something, or maybe answered the door with a shot gun in hand. No better yet a cross, to scare him away. But before I could think of any of that, before I could think coherent thoughts, I was frozen in shock. My heart was beating so fast I could feel in in my throat.
"Bella." His velvet like voice was out of breath, maybe because he was running, I'm not sure. But his hair was soaking wet, looking a few shades darker due to the heavy rains this evening. His lips were parted slightly, as he breathed heavily. His eyes looked possibly brighter in the dim lamp set above us on the porch, and his hands stayed by his side.
"Who is it?" I heard Alice voice come closer, and I imagined her walking behind me to see what had had me frozen in the door way, letting the cold air in.
"Oh." I heard her half gasp, when she was directly behind me.
"Mary Alice." Edward nodded politely.
"Edward." Alice said till shocked. I shook my head trying to get the words out, trying to get myself out of the shock.
"What are you doing here?" I choked out my eyes wide.
"I have to talk to you-" I cut him off.
"Ha!" I laughed with out humor and moved to close the door, but Alice's little hand stopped the door from closing.
"I know he's evil, but I have a feeling you need to hear what he has to say." Alice whispered to me, and I looked back up into Edward's sad eyes, Letting the door swing open again. And both Alice and Edward murmured thank you. I took a deep breathe.
"Come in." I sighed, and stepped aside to let him in. He nodded gratefully, and I tried to ignore it. I closed the door, and Edward stood beside the coat rack, while Tommy and Katherine eyes him curiously.
"Lets give them some privacy." Alice ordered, grabbing Tommy's hand and pulling him upstairs, Katherine following closely behind. I didn't move from the door, I stood there my back against the door, my eyes on my bare feet.
"How'd you find me?" I asked softly.
"You're mom told me." He mumbled.
"You went to my house?" I looked up at him shocked.
"Yeah but your mom had me off, scared your father would come home and shoot me." He explained, and I smirked to myself very secretively.
"What are you doing here?" I looked back down at my toes.
"I uh wanted to talk to you about… the baby." He almost whispered the last part, and I couldn't help but look up at him again, his green eyes looked almost pained. What could he possibly have to say about the baby? His baby.
"What could you possibly have to say?" I could feel my anger coming back, and I took a few steps away from the door.
"Its really mine?" He asked, he had the nerve to ask.
"Yes." I said through my teethe. He put a hand through his wet hair and took two steps closer to me, and I took two steps back, gently hitting the couch.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted." He blurted, and I could see the softness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I lied." I felt the need to apologies to.
"Its okay. But I want to take a test." I could tell this was what he had come to tell me, the way his expression suddenly changed to nervous and looked at his feet.
"You still don't believe me?" Instead of anger there was sadness.
"I- just cant." He shrugged seeming apologetic. He made me sound like a slut.
"I'm telling the truth." I snapped and ran a hand through my hair this time.
"Then you'll have no problem with me taking that test." He snapped back.
"Whatever." I shook my head. "What does it matter to you, if you're the father or not."
"Okay maybe I know I'm the father, but I just- I just, I don't know what to do. I came here because you seem to hate my guts but I cant let you just walk around carrying my child." He blurted, putting his hands in the air. His face showed confusion and stress, only if he knew what I have been going through, the pain he had put me through.
"Well I'm just as lost as you are, I'm the one carrying the thing. I- I don't know what to do with it once it's born!" I panicked, I could take a good guess my face reflected his.
"What do we do?" He whispered.
"I don't know." Tears began to form.
"Please don't cry." He took a few steps closer to me, his face concerned.
"Now you've really done it." I sobbed as the fresh tears started to poor from my eyes, and I put my hands to my face.
"Bella." He sighed and I heard him get closer and his arms wrap around me gently, as he pulled me to his chest. I didn't pull away, instead I cried into his chest.
"I hate your guts." I cried.
"I know, I know. Shh." He rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.
"Why'd you do this to me." I cried a little harder.
"I'm sorry." He continued to rub my back.
"God I hate you." I sobbed, gripping his shirt as I cried into it. He smelt nice, his shirt was damp but wrapped in his arms all I could feel was the warmth radiating off him. I couldn't help realize how close I was to him, or how tall he was compared to me.
"What am I going to do?" I continued to cry as he rubbed my back and shushed me.
"I'm carrying the spawn of Satan!"
"I know, I know." He chanted softly, even though I had just called him Satan. I cried, rambling things into his chest every now and than and he would just rub my back and let me cry. I didn't like that I was crying to Edward Masen and I cant say I didn't enjoy it. But he encouraged me to go on with all his soothing, that kept on bringing more tears and more things to ramble about. I don't know how long it had been but I finally looked up at his jaw, and he peeked down at me, his arms still wrapped tightly around me.
"Are you okay now?" He whispered.
"Sure." I mumbled, staring up at his bright green eyes.
"I need to go to sleep its late." I sniffed.
"Its 7." He looked at me questioningly.
"Its late for the baby." I corrected. It was something Katherine had told me. That way if I woke up in the middle of the night for a snack I wasn't cutting into my sleep too much.
"Oh yeah. I should leave." Edward released me from his hold, and I took a step back.
"Yeah." I sniffed wiping away a few tears.
"Mhmm." I nodded, still sniffling, and he walked slowly to the door, I followed behind a few steps.
"I'll see you at school." He opened the door, and with a soft goodbye. He was gone.
And I was left gripping the wall, my hand went to the baby, and I softly stroked the large bump.
A/N: So what was all that right ? I know, i know, its all so strange. So as you read Bella is now 3 months pregnant, and i wont be skipping around like that anymore, because this is where things start getting interesting! :] I got some good reviews last chapter and i want to thank everyone and if you have any question go on and ask. i totally understand if you dont get something, these things can be confusing. i would also like to give a special thanks to all my reviewers! i love you guys. keep bringing me joy !
love danielle.