Waxing Pale
Twin Kats
Karkat and Draco, after the broom incident, were given a week long dose of detention. They broke school rules. Up in his high and lofty tower Dumbledore smiled, slightly. He tapped out a simple sentence onto a set of keys.
CG: N9t quite as planned.
MV: Should i feel sorry for the gryffindors then
MV: Since they didnt get that awesome seeker they need
CG: Very funny.
From there, though, grew a friendship with Neville. Before that Karkat only ever considered Ron his friend, but in the aftermath of defending Neville from Daco's bullying he gained yet another ally. From then on they became known as the Gryffindor trio.
Karkat's life at Hogwarts quickly settled into routine. He'd go about his day to day life, generally quite and not that outspoken amongst his peer group except when Draco or his dorm-mates where involved, as they saw a very different side of the young troll. Most of the school saw a meek, unsavior like kid—his dorm-mates, Draco, and a few of the other Gryffindor yearmates saw the little growing spitfire beneath.
Sadly Karkat's curses weren't quite up to scruff with his future self, but then again he thankfully wouldn't fall into that strangely self-depreciating hate-self rut for a good few sweeps to come. Heck, even at this stage in life there didn't existence the thought that one could hatemarry oneself and so Karkat didn't even have the idea of "his past self is such a douchenozzle" just yet.
Aside from appearing meek, quiet, and practically nonexistent to the rest of the school, Karkat somehow obtained the most detentions possible, surpassing even his supposed father James Potter's best kept record. This was more the fault of Severus Snape and his many forceful, awkward, and terrifying black advances. They were so distressing to Karkat that he finally ran to Dumbledore to beg for an intervention. It didn't work.
The absence of Karkat's lusus had never been felt more keenly than when in the Potions classroom.
So Karkat moved day, after day, until Halloween finally took a step up and nudged Karkat in the bonebulge. It was as if someone attempting to meddle in his life got tired of Karkat being meek and terrified and choose to make him do something.
CURRENT madVisionary [CMV] RIGHT NOW opened memo SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME FRIENDS
CMV: Was it just me or did a terrified shiver just run down our collective spines
CURRENT considerateGregariousness [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCG: Can y9u please change the name 9f this mem9 9r at least list the p9ssi6le triggers 6ef9re its name? We are neither super, and while each pers9n is special in their 9wn way, unless y9u meant that as a n9d t9 my 6l99d c9l9r and TC's previ9us disp9siti9n as a s9p9r addict and y9ur frightening predelicti9n t9wards, shall we say, interesting h966ies,
CCG: 9f which I d9n't have a pr96lem with let me assure y9u. What y9u d9 in y9ur spare time is s9lely y9ur 9wn ch9ice. Why I like t9 l99k at current issues and draft 9ut m9n9l9gues and serm9ns a69ut p9tentially trigger t9pics 9f c9nversati9n—t9 raise awareness 9f the su6jects 9f c9urse, just s9 we are clear.
CCG: I mean, after all, last time I 6r9ught up the su6ject 9f y9ur 9ccassi9nally distressing acti9ns y9u started spewing 9ut a6liest slurs and p9tentially triggering phrases—n9t t9 say that y9u actually triggered me,
CCG: especially if y9u find triggering an9ther pers9n triggering, which I c9uld t9tally understand if y9u d9.
? terminallyCapricious [?TC] AT ?:? responded to memo.
?TC: motherfucker
CCG: I dislike triggering s9me9ne myself even th9ugh I am fully aware that s9me 9f my t9pics 9f c9nversati9n can be triggering—why I've had P9rrim say that my ch9ice in light reading material was triggering t9 her 6ut I think she was trying t9 make a j9ke there and a rather p99r 9ne at that.
?TC: SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP
CCG: Ah perhaps y9u sh9uld add that t9 the list 9f p9ssi6le triggers t9
CCG: I'm s9rry what?
?TC: i said
?TC: SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP MOTHER FUCKER
?TC: my wicked sister was trying to say something before you spewed red all over this memo
?TC: LIKE SOME INCONSIDERATE MIRACLE THAT WAS NEITHER WANTED
?TC: nor needed
?TC: :o)
CMV: Thanks
CMV: Seriously kankri your a bit much sometimes Like all that stuff there
CMV: Kankrichat
CMV: Without mind to us
CMV: 8(
CMV: So back on topic again did you guys feel that somewhat ominous shiver down your spines too
CMV: Like a shiver that meant someone got a bit too self aware You know of our hard work and stuff
CMV: Or was that just a seer thing
CCG: I d9n't kn9w it c9uld have 6een just a Seer thing as I felt it t99. I had merely equated the feeling t9 P9rrim preparing an9ther argument a69ut her a6s9lutely redicul9us claim that w9men face 9ppressi9n by men 9n 6ef9rus citing her previ9us 9ccupati9n with the M9thergrub as pr99f.
CCG: F9r s9me reas9n P9rrim has this idea that if she argues this 96vi9usly invalid p9int with me en9ugh that I will c9me t9 6elieve it is true.
CMV: Nice to know kankri can we get back on topic now
CMV: Please
CMV: I don't want more kankrichat
CCG: 9f c9urse I ap9l9gize f9r taking up the mem9 again.
?TC: i motherfucking felt that shiver too
?TC: SO THAT MEANS IT CAN'T BE A MOTHER FUCKING SEER THING RIGHT?
?TC: since i ain't no seer but a bard
CCG: Alth9ugh w9uld y9u c9nsider
CCG: 9h. Well this p9ses an interesting phen9men9n.
?TC: I know brother its like some miraculous shit just went down in our three pans all consecutive-like
?TC: AND AIN'T IT JUST MOTHER FUCKING GOLORIOUS
?TC: honk
CMV: Right
CMV: You know what it was probably nothing So why don't we just get back to what we were all doing until the next meeting
CMV: Kankri can go back to being whatever he is
CCG: I will have y9u kn9w that I find that phrasing terribly insulting and p9tentially triggering.
CMV: And gamzee can go back to making sure stuff goes as planned on his end
CMV: While i will sit here at home and wait for another year in boredom
CCG: 9n sec9nd th9ught, I d9n't find y9ur previ9us phrasing all that triggering after all.
CMV: Good boy
CCG: (she's rather terrifying with9ut trying s9metimes isn't she?)
?TC: (holy motherfuck yes)
CMV: I can still read your chat you know
CCG: I
CMV banned CCG from responding to memo.
?TC: motherfucker
CMV banned ?TC from responding to memo.
CMV: No Dont even try to explain yourselves
CMV: It will take too long and youve got work to do
CMV: So go
CMV: My little playthings
CMV: 8)
CMV closed memo.
That something, of course, involved Halloween. The holiday Karkat didn't understand the meaning of, even though his roommates spoke of All Hallows Eve, Samhain, and something about candy. To be perfectly honest the whole thing reminded Karkat of the Alternian holiday Cullbright or All Gallows Eve which he only knew of from a romcom. The holiday itself in modern society had been obsolete and ignored for over two hundred sweeps, right after the Mass Exodus, in fact.
It also happened to be a lowbloods worst nightmare, especially one that was off the hemospectrum. Naturally Karkat treated the upcoming Halloween and his dorm-mates joy for it with fresh skepticism and a keen sense of wariness. Not even the smiling, cheerful visage of the nubby-horned bastard could quell the niggling fear in the back of Karkat's pan.
Karkat felt fully ready to remain hidden up in the dorms during Halloween, and the subsequent feast, and he'd grown silent over the past few days. It didn't help that he hadn't seen his lusus since the start of this whole backwards schoolfeeding place and, for a while, Karkat grew terrified that he would never see his lusus again. So he curled up in a pile of sheets and pillows and burried his head into his knees and arms.
That was how Ron, Neville, and the other boys of the Gryffindor first year dorm found him. Seamus and Dean hung back as Ron climbed up on the bed with Neville. Neither of the boys found the pile odd; they'd had over a month to get used to Karkat's many little quirks and the pile was one of the easiest by far.
"Harry?" Ron asked. "Mate, its Halloween. The feast is in an hour."
Karkat shuddered lightly, but did not move from his position. Ron frowned, and then exchanged a glance to Neville followed by an almost subtle nod. Neville sucked in a steadying breath.
"H-Harry..." Neville started hesitantly, "I don't like halloween either."
Karkat stiffened, slightly, and peeked on eye out between the gaps of his arms. Slightly bolstered by the response Neville continued with a bit more confidence.
"See, w-when I was a baby my...mum and dad were...hurt, shortly after this time," Neville breathed out slowly.
"You don't have custodians?" Karkat asked, although it was a bit muffled. He didn't really have custodians here either; his lusus wasn't here and he missed the crab.
"Just my Gran," Neville said with a quick shake of his head. "And...they were hurt cuz...V-Vol—he-who-must-not-be-named was defeated on Halloween. Like your mum a-and dad."
Karkat actually did perk up at that, just a bit. He'd actually had custodians here? Like his lusus? For a minute Karkat processed that, and then squashed the thought. No, the persona that the nubby-horned bastard had protecting him had custodians, not Karkat. Almost petulantly Karkat grumbled about his lusus, not noticing the other boys' confusion at the term.
"Point is," Ron continued, taking the grumbling as a good sign, "Halloween is a celebration now, and...it might suck but we're happy He-Who-Must-Be-Named is dead. It'd be good if you celebrated with us, y'know."
There was only one thing that the Gryffindor boys' knew for sure, and that was that Karkat happened to be completely unaware of his role in Voldemort's defeat. The boy obviously knew he was famous, but what for he happened to be completely unaware. It was like Karkat knew only half of the story, the other half being kept in trust until the time was right or some such nonsense. Ron, upon coming to this realization a few weeks into term, quickly organized his yearmates into making sure that Karkat's ignorance (which they perceived as humbling innocence) remained in tact. The girls were only too helpful.
Apparently Karkat was absolutely adorable, which the boys couldn't fathom. Sure he was rather short for an eleven year old; he honestly looked like he was maybe five or six. So, the entirety of the Gryffindor first years (and some upper years courtesy of Fred and George) worked rather hard to deal with overzealous fans and the like, and Karkat was completely unaware.
It seemed, with Ron's final statement about the holiday growing into a celebration, Karkat finally uncurled himself from the ball atop the pile. He was still wary, glancing about the dorm periodically, checking for Culling Drones to burst through the walls. He absolutely refused to let go of his wand, in fact, even though he agreed to come with them to the great hall for the feast.
At first Karkat had fully expected there to be a Gallows set up, or perhaps a stage of some sort where the public cullings would happen, or that there would be the dead carcases of friends upon the table to dine from. However there was no stage, or Gallows, and no dead friends as food. In fact everything happened to be dreadfully normal.
Karkat relaxed, and eventually tucked his wand away and proceeded to just enjoy the festivities. It all seemed oddly cheerful for such a dark holiday, and a part of Karkat still remained vastly skeptical. However he was young, and the cheer swept away any inclination to be careful instead. That is, of course, until Professor Quirrel came barging into the Great Hall, out of breath, and looking faint.
"Troll! Troll in the Dungeons!" the Professor exclaimed, staggering to the center of the Hall which fell silent. He had one hand pointed up, as if to make sure everyone realized the news was frightening and dire. Then, almost breathlessly he added, "Thought you ought to know," and fell backwards into a dead faint.
The Hall remained silent for a second longer, and then burst into panicked cries. Karkat sat completely rigid, his eyes wide and he didn't breath out of fear. Troll, Quirrel had said, like it meant something horrifying. Karkat didn't notice when the nubby-horned bastard stood up, shot off a loud noise with his wand, and proceeded to demand order in the Great Hall.
"Prefects, take your students back to your Common Rooms immediately! Line up in an orderly fashion, don't dally, quick as can be there you go." As Dumbledore spoke the Prefects lined up their housemates and started off—Slytherin first, then Ravenclaw, then Hufflepuff, and lastly the Gryffindors—out the Great Hall and back towards their dorms. "Teachers, Heads of House, with me!" Dumbledore and the other adults, sans Quirrel, swept from the Great Hall as the students marched out in fierce, terrified whispers.
Ron and Neville jostled Karkat into the line with Dean and Seamus up ahead of them, and ahead of them the first year girls. Neville shook, lightly, out of terror despite that his face looked rather determined and his lips moved in a silent count. Beside him Ron stood stiff, seemingly unfrightened at all. He had Karkat's arm in a tight grip.
"Count's o-off," Neville hissed to Ron. Karkat's ears twitched lightly, his limbs slowly began to loosen from their rigid frightened state. He took in a small, whirring breath. "G-girls down by one."
"Prefects haven't noticed," Ron muttered back, his eye solely trained on those ahead. He glanced over the girls. "Ruddy perfect, its Granger."
Karkat blinked slowly and tugged his arm out of Rons grasp as he asked, "What about the purrbeast in disguise?"
"She's missing," Ron said lowly, and Neville added, "And she ran off earlier."
Karkat scowled, pushed passed the boys to the girls, and demanded, "Have you seen the purrbeast in disguise?"
The girls all paused and turned to look at Karkat as one for a second. Lavander and Pavarti giggled at the nickname, but then they shook their heads together.
"She ran off after charms," Pavarti replied. "Why?"
Ron tugged Karkat back as Neville quickly interjected himself into Karkat's place. Neville and Ron shared a glance, first, and then Ron pulled Karkat out of the line. A second later Neville joined them. He looked frightened, nervous, as usual.
"S-She ran off to the bathroom," he said hushed, watching as the rest of Gryffindor marched back to the tower. "No one's seen her since."
Karkat nibbled on his lip. Something about a troll apparently meant danger, but the nubby-horned bastard hadn't seemed worried and nobody had outright attacked him. His mind worked furiously for a second, and then he snapped, "Well? What are you fuckasses waiting for, someone to light their goddamn bulge on fire?"
In that instant they moved, dashing down the corridor towards the girls bathroom. Not much longer past their mad dash to find Hermione did all three encounter a foul stench, and the tail end of a club slipping through a door. Ron reacted first, leaping forward to slam the door shut. Karkat froze stiff beside Neville.
"What...was that?" he asked, shakily. That was no manner of monster he was used to. Neville swallowed heavily.
"A troll," the pudgy boy replied.
Karkat's mouth dropped into a little 'o' of surprise. That was a troll? That was no troll Karkat knew, unless it happened to be some sponge-retarded highblood. All three boys relaxed though, because it was behind closed doors. Except a second later their came a scream from inside the room and they all promptly paled.
"Purrbeast!" Karkat hissed. He and Neville leaped forward with Ron, and they tore open the door to the bathroom without even a second thought.
Hermione cowered back from the troll with wide, terrified eyes. The three boys didn't know what to do until Karkat roared at the beast, and leaped on its back. He slashed and hacked with his claws, his mind falling back away for instinct to take over. Neville grabbed Hermione and pulled her from the bathroom as Ron whipped out his wand and quickly cast the levitation charm.
It was all over within seconds, the troll out cold, and the four of them safe if a bit shaken up. Down the hall they heard footsteps, and without thinking they ran all the way back to Gryffindor tower. Surprisingly they were able to slip inside without anyone noticing, all three panting and shivering just past the portraithole while the feast continued on around them.
"I...fucking...hate...halloween," Karkat gasped out. "Platonic-ly."
Hermione let off a giggle at his words, which spouted laughter from Ron, and then from Neville, and from Karkat himself. From then the trio of boys, became a quadruplet of friends.
At the start of the day on Halloween
Current considerateGregariousness [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo Planning TW: pl9tting, meddling, a6liest slurs, p9tentially triggering t9pics 9f discussi9n.
CCG: I appear t9 have run int9 a bit 9f a pr96lem. Unf9rtunately things have pr9gressed and changed in such a way that the 9riginal plan cann9t unf9ld in its current state. We will need t9 adapt 9ur pr9cess t9 fit the changes that have already happened.
? madVisionary [?MV] AT ?:? responded to memo.
?MV: Talk to gamzee Hell better be able to help than i will
?MV: Im kind of busy atm anyway
?MV: Also change the memo name or i will
?MV: Youre being telling
?MV: And you know if you wont then i will So consider this your only notice
CCG: 6ut it is 9nly p9lite t9 place trigger warnings. S9metimes we d9 get 9n p9tentially triggering t9pics 9f discussi9n. Als9 I d9 6elieve that Karkat w9uld find 9ur c9nversati9ns very triggering as well. I will have y9u kn9w I am fully aware that at s9me p9int in 9ur future he punches me f9r that very reas9n. It w9uld be rude 9f me n9t t9 warn 9f p9tential triggers.
? terminallyCapricious [?TC] AT ?:? responded to memo.
?TC: look motherfucker my best palebro ain't gonna be seeing none of this shit
?TC: AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HE BE NEEDING TO SEE THIS
?TC: because his current little wriggler sponge dont need to know what we all get up to
?TC: ALL THESE WICKED LITTLE MIRACLES THAT WE BE PAINTING FOR MY MOST PALEST OF BROTHERS
?TC: as that would just go and make the brother rightfully confused
?TC: AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANNA BE CONFUSING THE POOR GUY
?TC: honk
?TC: HONK
? madVisionary changed the name of the memo to PLOTS
?MV: Since you didnt listen
?MV: Now why dont you both figure out how to make everything work amongst yourselves
?MV: I have to go prepare
?MV: Maybe you can talk to another me and work this out Since this whole chat client has that weird temporal thing
?TC: mother fucking miracles my most wicked of sisters
? madVisionary [?MV] ceased responding to memo.
CCG: Ah, well may I c9unt up9n y9ur help then, Gamzee?
?TC: sure brother why don't you lay down on me what you all be needing this motherfucking bard of rage to be up and doing for you
?TC: FOR YOU MEANING FOR MY PALEST INVERTEBROTHER THAT DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MIRACLES BE GOING ON FOR HIM
CCG: Well y9u see 9riginally the plan inv9lved f9r the Knight t9 say s9mething hurtful t9 the Mage, except that Karkat's current demean9r has led f9r a strange unificati9n 6etween the entirety 9f his H9use. Y9u must 6e aware that I was against this plan fr9m the start.
?TC: of course you were
?TC: AFTER ALL YOU SAY YOU DON'T LIKE TO HURT NONE
?TC: except then you open your mouth and clack your keys
?TC: AND SPILL OUT ALL THAT EVER BRIGHT RED ONTO THE SCREEN WITH WORDS THAT HURT ALL AND ANY WHO READ THEM
?TC: am I right
CCG: ...that is n9t my intent I assure y9u.
CCG: Anyway t9 c9mp9und up9n what I need help with, this manner 9f hurtful slurs against the Mages pers9n w9uld end with her in the abluti9n6l9ck until the middle 9f dinner, wherein it w9uld then 6e revealed that a m9nstr9us 6east they call a tr9ll—and 6e aware this is n9t any kin t9 9urs they're merely alien m9ckeries and crude 9nes at that—wherein Karkat and the Knight w9uld then disc9ver the Mage's a6sence and g9 9ff t9 find her.
CCG: Needless t9 say it was t9 end in their friendship. H9wever the intr9ducti9n 9f an Heir int9 the mix this early has, unf9rtunately thr9wn the entire scheme 9ff c9urse. My latest divinati9ns sh9w that the lum6ering 6east they call a tr9ll will still make an appearance, 6ut any f9rged 69nds 6etween the Mage, the Knight, and Karkat will 6e una6le t9 happen with9ut Karkat searching f9r her.
?TC: I see what you are needing brother
?TC: SEEING ALL WHICH THEM MIRACLES NEED TO BE HAD FOR YOU
?TC: let me stir up some miracles for your needs
?TC: YOU WILL FIND THAT MAGE GONE OFF TO THE ABLUTIONBLOCK JUST AS YOU NEED
?TC: and the bonds you be wanting forged will happen just as you desire
CCG: What...what are y9u d9ing? I can feel that all the way acr9ss parad9x space and int9 my game sessi9n. That sh9uld be imp9ssible. Gamzee what are y9u d9ing.
?TC: whipping up a miraculous miracle for my conspiring mother fucker
?TC: AFTER ALL WE BEING IN COHOOTS MEANS I SHOULD HELP A BROTHER OUT
?TC: am I right
CCG: Seri9usly what are y9u d9ing Gamzee. Its effecting my a6ility t9 remain in this p9siti9n. I can feel Kurl9z staring at me.
CCG: What are y9u d9ing—what—9h.
CCG: 9h. Well that w9rks.
?TC: honk :o)
CCG: Just...please next time tag when y9u ch99se t9 d9 that. Chucklev99d99's leave 6ehind a s9ur taste in my m9uth. Especially when y9u ch99se t9 6last them acr9ss parad9x space like that. I swear I c9uld feel that int9 my game sessi9n which sh9uld be imp9ssible.
CURRENT madVisionary [CMV] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CMV: What was that really bad feeling i got just now
CMV: What did you two do
CMV: What did i allow you two to do
?TC: aww just setting up some wicked miracles my most wicked of sisters
CCG: I ap9l9gize. Gamzee ch9se t9 use chucklev99d99's t9 help al9ng the plan since things have und9u6tedly changed fr9m their 9riginal incepti9n. Such as the Knight 6efriending the Heir much earlier than anticipated.
CMV: Oh so thats how it happened Okay
CMV: Are we done with this for now then
CCG: Well I w9uld like n9w t9 6ring up a few issues I find c9ncerning, since we are all here and have the time.
CMV banned CCG from responding to memo.
CMV: I really dont think now is the time for kankrichat 8)
?TC: sister you be mother fucking devious
CMV: Thank you
? terminallyCapricious [?TC] ceased responding to memo.
CMV closed memo.
Summary: Nobody is displeased to have more help against Lord English or Jack, but everybody is confused as to how this new group of humans showed up on the meteor hurtling through the Furthest Ring. Everybody except Karkat who is just cursing up a storm and facepalming. Repeatedly. Of course they'd crash the party. They can never leave well enough alone, can't they. / Potterstuck
I actually started writing the Halloween portion, realized I should double back and explain that Karkat got in detention, is now friends with Neville, choose to skim over it instead. Mostly as by the time I realized I needed to do that, and then got around to fixing it, I forgot my original train of thought.
Suffice it to say they're all friends now. Have fun with that one.
And yes, Kankri, MV, and Gamzee all talk to one another. They make plans and plots. I'll probably just write a series of oneshots or something that invovles all the things I SHOULD have said, but completely forgot to our lost my train of thought to. I dunno. Either that or make it all end of chapter/start of chapter random inputs of "oh hey guys this shit happened like this!"
Needless to say, Gamzee went and chucklevoodoo'd the shit out of Hermione, and that's how she ended up in the bathroom. Don't ask me how he was able to, I'm not even sure to be honest. But then, I don't even know how he was able to chucklevoodoo John like he had long before the game either, but he did. So there.
I'm gonna ollie out, upload, and then slave through the hell that is coding this piece of monsterous crap. Oh god. WHY MEMOS GOD WHY.
Also, go check out Potterstuck (fuckyeapotterstuck) on Tumblr. It was inspired by this. So go!
Potterstuck premise: In an apolocyptic world eight friends play a familiar game...