A/N: This chapter is kind of a filler, and next chapter will be up soon.
THANK YOU, so much to my reviewers!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Feeling Sorry For Celia.
The morning came soft and quite, so peaceful, I hardly wanted to get out of bed. Maybe I was simply happy with the fact I didn't feel like vomiting this morning, maybe it was the fact I cried all my feeling out the other, day. But whatever it was, it had me feeling refreshed, it had me feeling absolutely calm, and at peace with everything.
I even breathed evenly while taking a shower and changing into my clothes, I breathed evenly when Alice woke up with all her joy, shoving that new shirt in my face and ordering me to wear it. I stayed absolutely calm. And when we got to school and we walked inside the large building, I was still at peace.
People seemed to just float around me, while I hummed and buzzed through them, ignoring every single detail as I went. Even when Alice asked kindly what in heavens name was wrong with me, I just shook my head and giggled. You'd think I wasn't pregnant, you'd think I didn't have to worry about a thing.
"You're scaring me." Alice poked my arm, as if she was testing if I was real.
"Hm?" I faintly heard the question.
"You okay buddy?" She stood in front of me, stopping our walking.
"I mean not that I don't enjoy you being all happy and loopy." She giggled.
"I'm fine." I nodded.
"What happened over night?"
"No idea." I shrugged. Alice just smiled with all her glory, and allowed us to keep walking to class, her arm looped through mine, and the feeling just added to my peace.
Lunch came around, and for the past months, Alice and I have been neglecting the cafeteria, scared of what might come if I stepped in there, if I was forced to sit around the people that whispered about me on a daily basis. But today, of course, today because of my happy mood, I decided.
"We cant just not eat in the cafeteria anymore. I mean its our school too. We have the right to sit in there and enjoy a perfectly horribly meal just as much as they do. We are letting them win, Alice, don't you see, they want me to ignore the cafeteria." I wrapped up my speech.
Dear Bella,
That was amazing, your words put into each sentence of that speech were truly beautiful. You had us making phone calls, to people who need to make phone calls, to those people who hate phone calls, to those people who need phone calls. The Cafeteria, is the place to be. In all our years we never thought we would be so proud to share that, with our children, and our children's, children.
Wonderful. Absolutely wonder Miss. Swan.
Speech Association.
Bella,
Oh god, its not that serious, you crack head.
Love,
Reality Check
"Since when have you felt like this?" Alice eyed me incredulously as we stood out side the cafeteria doors, just waiting to push them open. Surely, no one would miss my grand entrance.
"Since today was pizza day." I smiled sheepishly.
"Oh Bella." Alice laughed, grabbing my hand with her tiny one and pushing the cafeteria door open. Maybe she thought the faster we opened it, and walked in, the less people would stare or whisper.
I think that was what she was getting at. But usually, Alice is better with the outcome of things.
I guess everyone decided against her today, because this plan was a fail.
If she was a secret agent, she would be fired. There was nothing secretive about our every footstep being audible due to our entrance. I never realized how much I hated these tile floors till now. Every step, was just so loud, of course they heard me coming in, it was like freaking Godzilla had entered the room.
I back tracked in my thoughts, and as I did, my chest tightened, my eyes began to sting, my cheeks felt hot and tingly, the cafeteria suddenly feeling really cold.
"I'm fat." I whispered, tears running down my cheek, I raised my hand to my cheek to feel them, while Alice watched me with pleading eyes.
"Don't cry Bella, please." Alice begged, grabbing our food from the lunch line and dragging me over to a table in the back. If possible the room got quieter as I cried softly, being as quite as possible. I'm sure they heard me.
"I cant eat a pizza." I sobbed into my hands, as we sat at our little table Alice rubbing my back.
"Sh, Bella, you're not fat." Alice tried to sooth me.
"Stop lying to me." I pushed her hand away and put my head on the table, my crying becoming somewhat violent. The audience hadn't stopped watching and I faintly heard whispers in the background. Alice returned to rubbing my back even though I had pushed her hand away.
"What?!" Alice yelled, and I knew she wasn't talking to me. "Stop staring, its rude!"
The cafeteria was immediately filled with soft chatter after Alice's blow up, and I had to giggle through a few tears. The little pixie was deadly.
"Don't laugh at me." Alice said and I heard the smile in her voice. I brought my head up to look her in her deep blue eyes.
"You don't think I'm fat right?" I sniffed.
"Bella, you are not fat."
"Thanks." I wiped away the last of the tears and reached for the pizza.
"Hey guys." Another person joined us at our table.
"Hey." Alice smiled wide, and Tommy, leaned over and kissed her cheek. Tommy sat beside me, probably not wanting to be rude and put distance between me and my best friend, especially since my eyes were puffy and red.
"Hi Tommy." I smiled.
"Hey Bella." He rubbed my arm, in a friendly gesture. It made me feel good.
"New shirt." He nodded in approval while taking a bite of his apple.
"I picked it out." Alice glowed, and Tommy just beamed at Alice, like she was the best damn thing in the world. She probably is. I pushed away more tears that threatened to return at the subject.
"I saw Edward Masen today." Tommy began, and I looked down at my hands, hardly seeing Alice slap Tommy's hand in disapproval. I wanted to make a joke about domestic violence, but I wasn't in the mood anymore.
"But I did." He whispered, rubbing his hand, his eyes narrowed.
"What's his shirt color today?" The question blurted out from my lips, and I didn't even think twice. Even when the question was out I didn't even think anything of it. I needed to know what color his shirt is apparently.
"Er- uh, gray?" Tommy eyed me carefully, while Alice continued to eat her lunch.
"Okay." I nodded, like that helped me out, I don't even know why I asked.
"Why isn't he out here." I scanned the cafeteria, never making contact with his green eyes. This question had more sense to it. Tommy agreed with me, I could hear it in his voice.
"No idea, he might be in one of the classrooms eating today." Tommy explained.
"What did he say to you." I scratched my arm.
"He just asked how you were, and stuff." Tommy shrugged.
"What did you say?" I could feel my curiosity growing rapidly.
"I said you were good, and that you didn't vomit this morning." Tommy said happily.
"Why did you say all that?" Did Edward care about the baby?"I asked you how you were this morning and you said. 'Good. I didn't vomit this morning'" He explained, and I heard Alice giggle.
"Oh." I didn't remember any of that.
"You were kind of out of it." Alice smiled patting my hand.
"Yeah. I guess." I shrugged and focused intently on my lunch.
I feel as if, I was holding some foreign object, that I have never seen before. I had turned my back on the little thing, I had forgotten all about it, just sliding it into my back pocket every morning, letting it sit there by its self. I didn't even have the interest to check the tiny little screen.
I had been neglecting my cell phone. I was first in class, sitting in my assigned Biology seat, with the perfect thing to keep me distracted. It must have been god sent. I have about 1 billion new text messages. Okay I had 7. 2 from Alice, 1 from Tommy, 3 from my mom, and 1 from my cell phone company.
These messages were a hundred and eight years old today.
"Hey." The velvet voice pulled me out of my sarcastic and exaggerated thoughts about my cell phone.
"Hey." I flinched.
"Did I scare you?" Edward smirked taking his seat next to me. Tommy was an idiot, Edward's shirt was white. The white made his sparkling green eyes so colorful.
"No, just surprised." I mumbled blushing, I had just spent about a minute analyzing the boys shirt.
"Tommy said you didn't vomit this morning." Edward was smiling as he spoke and I watched him carefully.
"Positive." I nodded, folding my hands out in front of me.
"That's good, it means your probably entering your second trimester of pregnancy." He smiled proudly. I wasn't fully focusing on his words at the moment, well one the baby was making me feel all fuzzy and warm, like Edward had just told me the most romantic thing ever.
Regular Bella, would say something like 'shut up Edward.' But pregnant Bella, holding Edward's child, who hasn't even been born yet but knows Edward is its father better than Edward, the father himself is going to say this.
"How do you know that?" I smiled, feeling the glow on my face.
"My mom." He admitted.
"Oh." I smiled, with a slight blush.
"That's a nice shirt." He complimented looking down at me.
"Thanks Edward." I could have squealed. He just smiled at me, his face so perfect, so beautiful it wasn't fair. At least my baby would be beautiful. My phone vibrated softly, and Edward had to eye it then point at it, to pull my attention away from him and to my phone. I sighed, and flipped it open.
From: Alice
555-9090
Hola! Gossip: Your baby daddy has a date with Jessica tomorrow.
To: Bella
555 6090
I had to re-read the text message about 5 times. I don't know if it made me hate Edward just a little more, or if it made me want to vomit, but I had frustration buried deep in my core. Burning.
"You have a date with Jessica?" I blurted to Edward before I could stop myself, and he looked take back by my sudden out burst.
"Er-" I cut him off, I knew the answer was yes.
"Getting me pregnant wasn't enough to tie Edward Masen down?" I scoffed.
"Bella, I-" I cut him off again.
"I'm sorry." I back tracked, and his eyes went just a little wider as he eyes me, probably thinking I was going crazy.
"Its not like we're going out." I explain to myself, and to him. I don't own Edward Masen, and just because I'm having his baby doesn't all of a sudden make him mine. After high school, while I'm home taking care of a child, he'll probably go off to college, meet a girl that has finally taken his heart and start a family with her. Sending us post cards of their yearly vacations.
I don't have Edward Masen, and it seems I was only realizing this now, that I was only getting this now. He didn't say anything he just nodded his head. I turned away quickly to reply to Alice's text.
To: Alice
555-9090
Edward Masen isn't mine. He can do what he pleases.
From: Bella
555 6090
It was just me and the baby, I shouldn't have expected anything else.
Bella,
Your mood swings are giving us a headache, can you at least stick to one emotion per like hour or something? One minute your nerve are telling you the worlds going to end and the next minute their telling you, you just won trip to Hawaii. What in heavens name are you on woman? Therefore we can no longer represent you, its much to complicating for us. We are forwarding your mailing address to a more stable emotional house. The Pregnant Teen Emotion Hygiene Society.
Best of luck,
Emotional Hygiene Society
Isabella Swan,
We are honored to keep record of your-
The secretary assigned to your mailing address, just had a slight break down.
Its what you get when your in a business full of pregnant woman.
Secretly, this is a warning, of what is ahead.
Sincerely,
The Pregnant Teen Emotion Hygiene Society.
Bella,
You're pregnant?!
Since when? You horrible slutty girl.
Good Girls Club
Bella,
HA!
Mean Girls Club.
The bell rang before I knew it and I was trying to escape that class as fast as possible, before I said anything or blurted anything I would regret.
I didn't look at Edward the rest of the period and I felt like I was right back to where I had started. I went back to the avoiding game, slipping away when I saw him in the halls, running to my car while he was in the parking, but of course he caught up anyways and I pretended to not see him running towards me. He still approached me.
"Bella tell me what I did." His voice was pleading and even thought it had nothing to do with love, the baby made me feel all fuzzy, although this time it wasn't strong enough, and as I turned to face him, my lip were in a tight line and my eyes were narrowed with tears.
"You didn't do anything." I shook my head and looked at my shoes.
"What?" Poor boy must be definitely confused.
"That's exactly the problem, you'll never do anything." I muttered, and found, not looking at him made it much easier for me to get my idea's across.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you're not mine." I blurted.
"Yours?" He asked, seeming more confused than ever. I looked up at him, feeling a mistake in the making, but I couldn't 'not look' for that long. I wanted to see everything, to be able to read the emotions on his face.
"Just because I'm having your baby doesn't all of a sudden make you my boyfriend." I explained.
"You're right it doesn't."
"It doesn't." His words hurt more than they should have.
"I'm okay with that, but I don't think I can handle you being around." I admitted wiping away the tears from my eyes.
"I want to help out with my child Bella." He insisted.
"I don't."
"That's not fair." He frowned.
"I have to get home now." I shook my head, and continued to my car. He through his hands up in frustration and I pretended not to notice.
A/N: What do you think ? Any comments on Edward wanting in on the childs life? review! please and thank you :]