Author's Note: Well, here it is folks...my longest chapter yet. This was a draining one to write. I have talked my beta's ear off about it for over a week now. I think she's edited this thing a million times and talked me through it twice as much. Before we get into it all, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has left a review! Thanks to all of you, I have over 400 reviews for this story! 400 REVIEWS! It feels so crazy to look at this story and know that so many people have fallen in love with it the way I have. I couldn't write it as well as I do if all of you weren't reading it and commenting. So, thank you! Now, enjoy the chapter, because I'm exhausted, and stay tuned for a small author's note at the end.
Chapter 17
Now comes the night, feel it fading away
And the soul underneath, is it all that remains?
Sawyer's cries could still be heard in the living room of the penthouse. He'd been crying for the better part of an hour now since he woke up prematurely from his nap in Stefan's arms. His normally calm, peaceful nephew was in pure agony today, either unwilling or unable to calm down and go back to sleep.
Caroline had been in the back bedroom with him for twenty minutes before Stefan relented and went to see if he would have any luck with his son, but ten minutes later and Sawyer was as unhappy as ever. He didn't know if he could listen to much more.
"I can't listen to this anymore," he told Alaric, who was staring at the nearly empty bottle of scotch with longing.
"He's definitely making me rethink my relationship with sex." He made the decision to forego a glass and began drinking straight from the bottle.
Damon pushed himself up from the couch and began walking toward the bedroom. "I'll be back there." He didn't knock on the door, figuring the sound would most likely be drowned out by Sawyer's cries anyway. "Hey," he said quietly when he pushed the door open, "What's wrong with him?"
Caroline, who was lying on the bed, her arms draped over her face, groaned and said, "His aunt and uncle have pushed his parents toward the brink of insanity. That's what's wrong."
"This is my fault?" he balked.
His blonde sister-in-law sat up roughly on the bed. "Babies pick up when their parents are stressed. Right now, his parents are stressed because his stupid Aunt Elena showed up and asked his even stupider Uncle Damon to not get married, once again placing his parents in the middle of a situation they don't want to be in the middle of."
"You certainly insert yourself in our business enough to give a differing impression, Caroline," he bit out as he closed the door behind him.
"Not helping," Stefan told his brother as he swayed back and forth with his distraught son in his arms.
"Here," he held out his arms and approached his brother, "Let me see him."
"You better not suffocate my son, Damon," Caroline warned.
Damon retrieved Sawyer from Stefan and adjusted him comfortably in his arms. "If I'm going to suffocate anyone, it's going to be you, sweetheart." His voice was sugary sweet when he spoke to Caroline, but the smile on his face was nothing of the sort.
"Okay, let's keep the death threats to a minimum, please," Stefan pleaded, looking between his annoyed wife and Damon.
"How about you two go make sure Alaric doesn't drown in the alcohol and I'll try to see what I can do about my very unhappy nephew?"
"What exactly can you offer him that Stefan and I haven't tried?" Caroline questioned.
"I don't know if I'd be turning down help at the moment, Caroline." He sighed as his nephew unhappily wailed in his arms, his face bright red, and his fists balled up tightly beneath his chin. He looked how Damon felt.
"Fine." She rolled her eyes and held out her hand for Stefan to pull her to her feet. "All of his stuff is in his bag. Work your magic." She briskly walked past Damon and disappeared from the room.
Stefan ran his hand over Sawyer's head and wished Damon a soft, "Good luck," before following in the footsteps of his wife and shutting the door behind him.
Now that he was alone in the room with his nephew, he looked down at Sawyer and said, "Well, looks like it's just you and me buddy." Sawyer blinked up at Damon a few times, surprised by the change in voice, but soon opened his mouth and resumed his Olympic session of crying. "You're just like your dad, you know that?" he quietly asked him, even though hoping for a response would be futile. "He used to cry for hours when he was a baby. My mom would walk the hall with him all night sometimes. I even asked my mom if they could send him back to where he came from so they could fix him, because he was obviously broken." He chuckled softly. "I still stand by that belief. However, it turns out he just had colic, but I tend to think he was just trying to be a pain in my ass, even back then." He halted his steps for a swift moment and looked down at Sawyer again. "Don't tell your parents I said that."
Maybe it was true that he was upset because Stefan and Caroline were stressed, and that was his fault. Well, his fault and Elena's. Sometimes he didn't know how things got so monumentally bad with them. They'd been blissfully happy once, barely able to keep their hands off of each other. She had been the most beautiful woman he'd ever known and even holding her hair back as vomited from morning sickness hadn't been able to change his belief in that. She'd been everything to him, and then they imploded. Nothing happened how it was supposed to, and he'd blamed himself for it.
Damon continued his even strides across the bedroom, hoping the constant motion might do something to calm Sawyer down. "Your mom is right. She and your dad have been put in the middle of everything. Elena and I dragged everyone into it when we went down in flames. We didn't mean to, but everything hurt so much. It was just impossible to not drag someone down with us." Sawyer squirmed in his arms, brushing his tiny hands over his face as his wails began to quiet into soft whimpering. "You won't understand this for a long time, but love changes you. It does things to you that you never thought possible. When you see someone you love in pain, you want to do everything you can to make it better, and knowing that you can't fix it feels like a knife to the chest."
Elena ran her hands over her stomach, analyzing the subtle changes in her body. To anyone else the differences would be impossible to notice, but as she stood in front of the mirror in Damon's bathroom, clad in only her underwear and a bra, the differences were there. He'd spent many nights memorizing her body over the past few months. As he watched her now, it was easy to see her breasts that had grown fuller from the pregnancy. Her waist was narrower from the weight she'd lost due to her morning sickness. Her stomach remained flat though, no signs yet of the life growing inside of her, but he knew that would come in time.
He leaned against the doorway as she turned to the side to see if she could spot a change in her abdomen. It was then that she spotted him casually watching her, a small smirk on her face. Her eyes met his in the mirror and she questioned, "How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough." He straightened and walked over to her. He gripped her hips softly and turned her to face the mirror again. "Long enough to see you scrutinizing your appearance." His fingers skimmed her bare stomach. "Newsflash, still perfect."
She frowned and looked at his hands on her stomach. "That's up for debate, and I certainly won't be looking like this for much longer. Everything is going to swell, even my ankles."
"I'll still massage your feet, even if you get cankles." He brushed her hair behind her shoulder and pressed a gentle kiss to her neck. "And I'll still think you're the most gorgeous person I've ever seen, no matter how big you get." His breath was hot against her flesh as he continued to litter her neck with kisses.
Her breath hitched in the back of her throat when his mouth closed over a particularly sensitive area. "You'll just be distracted by my breasts."
He chuckled quietly. "And what a lovely distraction they'll be."
She rolled her eyes, though clearly amused by his fascination with her body. "You're such a guy."
"Don't think you'd be in this position if I wasn't." His fingers skimmed the top of her silky underwear. "Speaking of positions."
Elena quickly twisted herself around in his arms and pushed him away from her. "No way," she scolded. "We do not have time for that."
"I'll be quick." He stepped toward her again, reaching his hands out for her, but she easily dodged his advances.
"Stop it!" She held her hand up in warning. "Don't look at me that way. Your brother and Caroline will be here in ten minutes. We have time for nothing beyond you putting on your suit and me putting on my dress."
He groaned and resisted the urge to stomp his foot like a petulant child. "When will you get to the part of pregnancy where you can't get enough of me?"
"Not tonight," she said sarcastically, motioning him further away from her. "Go put on your suit. Go!"
Knowing he had no chance of getting her to cave in right now, he turned on his heel and walked toward his closet. "I hope you're happy with yourself."
"Stop pouting," she called after him, "It's not a good look on you."
"Every look is a good look on me."
"Peek-a-boo, I don't wanna see you!" Caroline's enthusiastic voice rung through the penthouse, reaching Damon's ears all the way in the closet. "That means put your clothes on Damon. I don't need a play-by-play on how you knocked my best friend up!"
Damon rushed into the bathroom, where Elena was slipping into her gown she had hanging up on the bathroom door. "How is Blondie in my house?"
Her eyes met his in the mirror as she adjusted the straps on her gown. "I don't know."
"Did you give her a key like with your last place?" he demanded. When she moved in, he had specifically told her that Caroline was to, under no circumstances, ever have a key, which would give her free reign to enter and leave his home as she saw fit.
She rolled her eyes and turned to face him. "No, I did not give her a key." She smirked and chuckled softly. "But you gave one to your brother when you bought the place."
Dammit, thrown over by his own blood!
"I'm so stealing his hair gel," he mumbled and walked to the bedroom. "Caroline, you come into my bedroom and I will ruin your dress! Are we clear?"
"That's fine," she called back immediately. "I'm just going to entertain myself with picture time."
Damon rolled his eyes. Of course she would. He was beginning to really rethink why he ever liked her to begin with. Elena appeared in the closet, holding her gown up so she could walk without stepping on it. The deep violet colored gown hugged her in all the right places, while flaring out at the bottom, to leave her room to walk. For a moment he was left breathless by how utterly stunning she was. Then, an image of Caroline rummaging through his things flashed through his mind and his mood instantly soured.
Noticing the look on his face, Elena paused and looked down at her dress. "What's wrong? Is it not formal enough? Caroline told me it was fine."
"No, no!" he quickly shook his head. "It's Caroline. Get her out of my office, please," he pleaded with her.
Elena narrowed her eyes suspiciously and walked toward Damon. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," he sighed, "I'm fine. I just don't really want to go tonight."
"So we don't go." She shrugged her shoulders like it was the easiest solution in the world. "I am perfectly fine not spending my evening with hundreds of people that I don't know." She brushed her hands over his shoulders, straightening out his suit jacket. "Let's just stay in and have a relaxing evening on the couch. You can cook and I can pick out a movie for us to watch. Then we can take a nice bubble bath and end the evening together in bed, not sleeping. What do you say?"
Her doe brown eyes stared up at him and a small shadow of a smile played on her lips. When her voice dropped into a husky whisper like now and she made promises of an evening that sounded like the best idea he'd heard in a long time, it made it hard to resist. She painted a beautiful picture, and he wished he could take her up on the offer. Unfortunately, this was an evening he couldn't back out of. "I have to go tonight."
"But you don't want to."
"I know, but there's a big potential client there that my dad wants me to land. He would be quite unhappy if I didn't show up."
"In that case," she reached over and grabbed his tie from the large island in the middle of the closet. She placed it around his neck and straightened the narrow material to begin tying it. "We will go tonight and you will turn on that charm that won me over and land this hotshot client." Her eyes were focused intently on her job at hand as she spoke to him, a small smile on her face. "Then, you will dance with me and tell me how pretty I am compared to everyone else in the room. And after all of your duties have been fulfilled, you'll bring me home and rub my tired feet, then maybe focus your attention further north for the rest of the evening."
He smiled broadly. "That's definitely a plan I can get on board with."
She pushed the tie through the small opening and then tightened it until it looked perfect. Satisfied, she lifted her eyes to his and matched his smile. "I thought so."
He set his arms on her waist and pulled her flush against his body. "You're brilliant." He brought his lips to hers in a slow, searching kiss. Her body melted into his, fitting against him perfectly as she opened her mouth beneath his.
"If you're not decent, you have five seconds to cover yourselves up." Stefan's voice interrupted them like a bucket of cold water being thrown over their bodies.
Damon pulled away from Elena and looked over her shoulder to see his brother with his hand covering his eyes. "You can uncover your eyes Stefan. We're fully clothed."
He narrowly parted his fingers and peeked through them to make certain Damon was being truthful before lowering his hand to his side. "Caroline says to stop doing whatever you're doing and hurry up. She doesn't want to be late."
"The whole point of these things is to be late," he groaned.
"Take it up with her. I'm just the messenger."
"Fine, we'll be out in a minute." Once his brother disappeared he glanced down at Elena. "You ready?"
"Yeah, I just need to put my shoes on. You go make sure Caroline isn't going to fall and break her neck trying to find more of your baby pictures." She walked past him and stared down at her row of shoes.
"At this point, I might pull her feet out from under her myself."
"Oh hush," she scolded him. "Go play nice."
He turned to leave, but before he could leave the closet he heard a small hiss slip from Elena's lips. Worried, he turned to her. "Are you okay?"
He walked toward her, but she lifted her hand, halting him where he was. "I'm fine," she assured him, a small grimace on her face. "I just feel a little icky. First trimester stuff, I guess."
"You sure?" he questioned. "Because we can stay in if you don't feel fine. It's not that important."
"Yes, I'm sure," she insisted, "Now go. I'll be out in a minute."
Knowing she wouldn't budge, he sighed and said, "Okay, we'll be in the living room." She shot him a reassuring smile and waved him from the closet. If Elena said it was nothing, he would believe her. Her body was going through all sorts of changes right now and he couldn't seem to keep up.
"Finally!" Caroline exclaimed when Damon showed himself in the living room. "You two take forever to get ready."
He looked at the glass of wine in her hand and stalked over to her. "What bottle of wine did you open?" He snatched the glass from her hand and sniffed it.
"I dunno," she shrugged her shoulders, "70 something Bordeaux."
"That's an eight hundred dollar bottle of wine, Caroline!"
"I was thirsty!" she snapped and ripped the glass back from his hands.
Agitated, Damon turned to his brother. "How much did you let her drink before you came over here?"
"She's only had a couple glasses."
"Blondie is a lightweight and you know it." He turned back to her and pointed a finger in her chest. "Throw up in my limo and I will kill you."
"Okay you two, break it up." Elena glided into the living room, an amused smile on her face. "Let's get this show on the road, shall we?"
Caroline lifted her glass to her lips and swallowed the rest in one quick gulp. Once finished, she handed the glass to Damon and met Elena in the middle of the room. She looped her arm through Elena's and said, "Tell your boyfriend to stop threatening me."
Elena giggled as they walked to the front door. "Stop pressing his buttons and he'll play nice." They stopped at the open door and Elena turned back to smile at him. "You coming?"
"Yeah, I'm coming." Damon set the glass down on one of his end tables and looked to his brother. "Let's get this over with."
"Just smile," Stefan clapped a hand on Damon's back as they followed after their women, "It will all be over soon enough."
He tried to take those words in and let them keep him calm as they rode to the gala for some children's hospital or something about art – not that anyone actually cared what the event was about. Everyone showed up for his or her picture to be in the society section of the paper and talk business. They wrote checks for the causes, paid thousands of dollars a plate to attend these events – always proving to be a great success for the charity being celebrated that night – but nobody truly paid attention to what they were there for.
If it were up to him, he'd set up a meeting or a business dinner and get everything hammered out in one sitting. He didn't want to spend his night with a tie choking him and counting the number of drinks he'd had, to make sure he could remain sober. He didn't want to compliment their wives and spend the rest of his time fending off pitiful social climbers. It was actually one of the worst parts of his job. He did much better coming up with the advertising campaign ideas and pitching them once he already had the client. Bidding for the client just made him feel ridiculously stupid and no better than half the desperate socialites roaming the crowd.
It would seem luck was on his side tonight though as he spotted Conrad Montgomery within thirty minutes of arriving at the party. Conrad, ever the drinker was already four drinks in when he tracked him down by the bar, and he had a handshake agreement settled in fifteen minutes. His work was officially done. Which left him plenty of time for what he had planned.
He snuck up behind Elena, who was in deep conversation with Caroline and the daughter of one of his clients, Beverly Wilson-Taylor. She was one of the few socialites in New York City that didn't make him want to use his tie as a noose when he ran into her at parties and in the city. She was a pleasant girl who had gone to Columbia for her undergraduate degree and law school, and now worked for her father.
He slid his arms around Elena's waist and pressed his mouth to her ear. "Surprise," he whispered. She had tensed at the feel of his arms around her waist initially, but once she heard his voice, her body relaxed in his eyes. "I'm all done."
She rested her hands over his and twisted her neck to peer up at him. "You close the deal?"
"Informally, but I'm feeling confident." He leaned down and captured her lips with his, ignoring the crowd of people around them.
"You'll have to forgive them." He could hear Caroline's voice as he happily kissed Elena. "They just moved in together, so they're freakishly co-dependent at the moment."
Embarrassed, Elena pulled her lips from his and blushed as she looked at the two women in front of her. "Sorry," she giggled softly.
"Just ignore Caroline, Beverly, I always do."
"Hi Damon," she laughed and shook her head. "My father says hello, by the way. He couldn't come tonight."
Damon looked at Elena and quickly explained. "I run an account for Beverly's dad. We've known each other for years."
"So she was telling me."
He eyed Beverly dangerously. "Beverly wouldn't do that now, would she? Not when she brought her boyfriend and would hate for me to share stories I know."
She held her hands up in surrender. "I said only good things, I promise. You blab to Aidan about anything you know and I'll start spilling everything I have on you."
"I wouldn't dream of it," he assured her. He grabbed Elena's hand and began to walk backwards. "It's been fun ladies, but I believe Elena has a few obligations to fulfill."
"Excuse me," she giggled as Damon pulled her away from the two women. "It was nice to meet you, Beverly." She smiled and turned to allow herself to be pulled into Damon's side. "That was rude."
"Everyone loves you," he whispered into her ear, tugging her more firmly against him.
"Just because I haven't been kicked out doesn't mean that they love me," she said to him as she ran a hand over his lapel.
"They do, they love you," he assured her. He ran his hand over her waist, unable to keep his hands off her in her dress. As gorgeous as she looked in it, he couldn't wait to get her out of it later on. "You look stunning tonight."
A slight blush tinted Elena's cheeks at the compliment. "I think you've had a few drinks."
"I don't have to have any alcohol in me to know that you're the most gorgeous woman in the room tonight." Instead of a smile, Elena winced and squeezed her eyes shut. "Are you okay?" he asked quickly and his heart began to race with worry. This was the second time tonight she'd done that. "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine," she insisted, but her smile was tight. "I've just been having some cramping today." Before he could interrupt her, she continued on. "The doctor said it was normal though, remember?" Her features relaxed then and some color that had drained from her face began to return. "I'm fine, really."
"Are you sure?" His heart rate was still elevated from the look of pain that had been on her face.
"Yes," her smile widened. "I'm fine, just a little pain. I mean, I am growing something inside of me."
"Okay, if you're sure." He released a shaky breath at her assurances that she really was fine. She still looked a little pale, but he trusted that she'd say something if the pain was too much. It also wasn't like he'd been doing any reading of what was to be expected during pregnancy. He was completely blind about what happened other than it lasting for nine months and labor being supposedly painful.
"I am," she insisted. "Let's dance."
He couldn't deny the opportunity to have a chance to hold her in his arms for a few songs. The music played softly in the background as they swayed to the music. He allowed himself to close his eyes and relax with her body leaning against his. Elena was just supposed to be a distraction from the mess that his life had become during his divorce from Katherine. She was a pretty girl that was only going to be a good time.
At first he'd thought that eventually the need for her would get out of his system. She was 22 and actually nice. She was sweet and had the biggest heart of anyone he'd ever met. Those girls had never been his type before. He knew well enough to know that he would chew them up and spit them out because they'd get boring, but there was nothing boring about Elena Gilbert. The more he learned about her, the more he wanted to know.
When she was with him, his job, his problems, all of them fled his brain, because she was all that he could think about. When she was gone, he would think about the next time he'd see her. He wanted to spend every moment with her that he could. He even found himself wanting to do things because he thought that she'd like them. Hell, he was living with her, after he swore that he'd never have a serious relationship again for as long as he lived.
Her clothes had invaded his closet and her products had completely overrun his bathroom, but he didn't care. It was nice coming home to a welcoming face every evening. It felt good to not have to rush out in the morning so he could return to his place and get dressed for work. He hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone since Katherine, and it was nice to have that feeling back again.
After another song ended, he pulled away from her. "Thank you for coming with me tonight," he told her softly.
"Thank you for asking me to come." She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on his mouth, but pulled away before he had the chance to deepen it.
"Now that's not a proper kiss," he chided her.
"I promise to give you a proper kiss later. Right now, I'm going to go to the bathroom."
"Don't take too long." They made their way off the dance floor, dodging the other couples that were still dancing. "You never know who might try to swoop in and steal me away."
"Well, I'm having your baby, so unless they can top that, I think I'm good." She smiled cheekily at him, and he was filled with elation. A few weeks ago, she never would have made a joke about the baby. Knowing that she's grown more comfortable with being pregnant, gives him a feeling of comfort that he'd been waiting for. She placed a quick kiss on his cheek before walking off to the bathroom, disappearing in the crowd as she went.
"I think it's official, you're whipped," Stefan said as he sidled up next to Damon, an arm wrapped securely around Caroline's waist.
"Didn't you just have to buy tampons for Caroline last week?" Damon questioned his brother, a taunting smile on his face. Stefan blanched at the question while Caroline giggled softly beside him. "I think it's safe to say that I've got a long way to go before I've reached your levels of whipped."
"You're an ass," Stefan grumbled.
"I won't deny it."
"Give it a rest, you two," Caroline grumbled. "We could use a night without the two of you picking on each other."
"Would you rather I pick on you?" Damon teased her.
She smirked superiorly. "Do that and I'll tell Elena. You know how testy she can get right now."
Damon opened his mouth, a biting comment on the tip of his tongue, but before he could, a voice sliced through their group, "Damon, Stefan." Both brothers looked up to see their father coming toward them. "Caroline," Giuseppe's voice was much kinder toward his daughter-in-law than it had been to his children. For some reason unknown to Damon, his father actually liked Caroline.
"Father," Damon greeted his dad stiffly. He was still upset with how his father had treated Elena.
"Marriage obviously agrees with the two of you," Giuseppe told Stefan and Caroline.
"Well, we're still in the honeymoon phase," Caroline beamed up at Stefan. "We'll see how I feel about him in a few months."
"Any hopes of giving me a grandchild anytime soon?" he questioned.
Caroline smiled brightly, never allowing her composure to falter for a moment. "Not for a while, Giuseppe. I think I can safely say that is fully on Elena for now."
"So, where is Elena?" his father asked.
Damon frowned at the mention of her, realizing that she still wasn't back from the bathroom. He glanced around the ballroom, but she was nowhere to be seen. "She went to the bathroom," he finally answered.
"God, she's probably sick again," Caroline groaned. "I'll go check on her."
Caroline gave Stefan a quick kiss on the lips before going off to find Elena.
"Have you proposed yet?"
Stefan choked on his drink at the question. "You're proposing to Elena?"
"No," Damon bit out, aggravated that his father would bring up the topic here, of all places. "I'm not proposing. Dad thinks to save face that Elena and I should have a shotgun wedding."
"Elena would not say yes to that."
Damon rolled his eyes at his brother. "I know that."
"So, you haven't proposed?" his father asked again.
"No, dad, I haven't proposed and I don't plan to. Elena and I are fine with our arrangement."
"And what would that be?"
Damon opened his mouth to respond, but a panicked scream sliced through the ballroom, halting all conversations. "Somebody help!"
Stefan and Damon looked at each other, eyes wide. "That's Caroline," Stefan said.
They both took off toward the bathroom, Stefan in the lead as he rushed to find his wife. They shoved through the crowd that was beginning to gather, pushing everyone out of their way as they tried to get to the bathroom.
Stefan burst through the door, Damon hot on his heels. They came to a sudden halt inside the bathroom, the door slamming loudly behind them. Caroline was crouched down on the floor, an unconscious Elena lying below her, a small pool of blood trailing from beneath her. "Oh god," he gasped and dropped to his knees beside her. "What happened?"
Caroline's hands shook as they ran over Elena's hair spread out on the floor. "I don't know. I came in and she was saying how the pain was getting so much worse. And then there was blood," her voice caught on a strangled sob. "Oh god, there was just blood all over her legs, and she passed out."
"I'll get a doctor." Damon looked up at Stefan, whose face was ashen at the site of Elena's lifeless body on the floor.
"Hurry," he told him, and Stefan quickly fled back into the ballroom. "She said she was fine," he mumbled to himself, recalling her cramping earlier. "She told me she was fine."
Stefan came back into the bathroom, a tall man in his 40's right behind him. Caroline moved out of the way so the doctor could sit next to Elena. "Do you know what happened?" he asked as he lifted Elena's hand and began determining her pulse.
"She hates blood," Caroline informed him quietly as Stefan helped to pull her to her unsteady feet. "She kept talking about pain and when she saw the blood, she dropped."
"She's pregnant," Damon told him. "She said she was cramping, but it wasn't bad."
"How far along is she?"
"Um, twelve weeks," he said. "She had an ultrasound a few weeks ago and everything was fine. They said the heartbeat was good and that it was developing well. They told us the baby was fine."
"Cramping or spotting on their own can be normal in the first trimester, but together it typically indicates a miscarriage." Caroline whimpered softly in Stefan's arms. "The hospital should be able to tell you more."
His eyes met the doctor's over Elena's still form. "But there's a chance everything is fine, right?"
The doctor looked down at Elena and back up at Damon. His face gave everything away; revealing that, no, everything wasn't fine. He didn't break this news to Damon though, not wanting to upset him even more. "There is a chance that everything will be okay."
Before he could interrogate the doctor further, Elena's hand clenched tightly in his grasp. Her eyes fluttered rapidly until they slid open enough to reveal pain and agony. "Hey," he whispered hoarsely, "What happened?"
"So much blood," she cried. "Something is wrong! It hurts – it hurts too bad!"
"Elena," the doctor intervened gently, pulling her attention away from Damon, "Do you think you can sit up?"
She nodded weakly and leaned her weight against Damon as he helped her to a seated position. Her body immediately tensed and her head fell to Damon's chest. "Oh god," she groaned. "Make it stop."
"You need to get her to a hospital," the doctor recommended calmly. "They can give something for the pain and tell you what's wrong."
Damon nodded as a numb sensation began pulsing through his body. With Elena burrowing against him, he couldn't allow his thoughts to go there. As he felt her tears slowly soaking through his shirt, he knew this was on him. It was on him to be strong and steady through this night.
"Hey," Stefan's hand closed supportively over his shoulder, "Everything is going to be okay. She'll be fine."
He turned to his brother then, a pleading look on his face. "You have to get everyone out of here," he begged. "No one can see this."
"Okay," he nodded, more than willing to help his brother in any way possible, "I'll get rid of everyone."
"Elena," he gently rubbed his hand over her hair, "We have to go to the hospital." He looked up at a shaken Caroline in the corner. "Call 911."
"No!" Elena shook her head back and forth, her small fists clenching at his jacket. "I don't want an ambulance, Damon. I don't want one, please."
He looked down at her and rested a hand on her damp face. "We have to go to the hospital. We have to do something."
"So we'll go, but I don't want an ambulance."
"Take the limo," Caroline said quietly. "He shouldn't be far. It will be quicker than an ambulance anyway."
Damon pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and tossed it to Caroline. "Call Shawn, tell him to meet us at the back entrance. Now!" Damon turned his attention back to Elena. "Alright, we have to go, okay?" When Elena nodded weakly he adjusted her in his arms and stood up, holding her tightly to his body.
Her arms twined around his neck and she buried her face into his chest. "What's happening?" she whispered brokenly.
"I don't know."
Damon wasn't a man that lived in denial. He often faced the truth, despite the devastating pain it sometimes caused, but he needed a sense of denial right now. His brain wouldn't allow him to think of the possibilities. Caroline was obviously thinking of them. The doctor was obviously thinking of them. Even though his brother was being supportive, he was obviously thinking of them. It was him that could not think of them, because if he thought of what might be, then it might be real. It was simply not a place he could go to yet.
Caroline quickly fell into step beside him as he carried Elena through the now empty ballroom. "Shawn is on his way and Stefan said your dad said something to get everyone to the roof."
His steps momentarily faltered at the news that his father had actually done something to help him. He quickly recovered though, not allowing the news to effect him in any way. "At least he's finally useful for something."
When they reached the elevators, Caroline reached out and pressed the button, leaving Damon to simply stand with a now silent Elena in his arms. She was no longer crying or whimpering in pain. He looked down at her to see her eyes focused on the air in front of her. There was no emotion or pain to be seen in her eyes as she stared into nothing. She was preparing for the worst.
Seeing the blank look in her eyes seemed to pull him down with her, submerging him beneath a black pool of water that only pulled him deeper as they all loaded into the limo, now joined by Stefan. Shawn, understanding the urgency got them to the hospital as quickly as he could, but as he held Elena's stiff body against him, he knew it wasn't quick enough. Every few minutes she'd groan and bury her head into his chest.
Caroline was clenching Stefan's hand so hard his fingers were turning red, as she tried to keep her emotions under control. Stefan had his gaze firmly locked on Damon, watching for signs of distress from his brother. Damon though, he just stared down at Elena, wishing he could take the pain away. He knew that this wasn't right, it wasn't like before and he felt completely useless. There was nothing he could do except wait until they knew something.
And he was scared. Oh god was he scared.
"We'll go get clothes for Elena," Caroline said when they reached the hospital and Damon was helping her out of the limo. "Call us if anything happens while we're gone."
"Okay," he told them and closed the door. His heart plummeted when he turned and looked down at Elena and the dark stain that had grown on her dress. "We have to get you inside."
"Blood" and "cramping" seemed to be the magical words of entrance in the emergency room tonight, for the second he stated Elena's situation to the man checking people in, they were immediately ushered into a private room. He also figured the fact that he'd been sure to give his name had helped their accommodations substantially. A nurse was in the room in an instant, handing Elena a gown and taking all of the information about what was currently happening. With each answer Elena gave, he could see the look of forced composure come down a little more on the woman's face. Her voice remained steady and calm as she spoke with Elena, but her eyes told a different story indeed. Everyone knew what he couldn't let himself know.
After she was finished with her round of questions, the nurse stood and placed a comforting hand on Elena's arm. "I've already called the OB-GYN on staff tonight. I'll make sure she's in here as soon as possible." Elena nodded mutely, but couldn't stop the tears that filled her eyes when the nurse squeezed her arm. "Hang in there for a little bit longer."
When she exited the room, closing the door softly behind her, Elena dropped her head to the stiff pillow behind her. "This isn't going to end how it did last time, is it?"
Damon grabbed Elena's hand and sat down next to her on the bed. "We don't know that. We can't think like that right now."
She clenched her eyes closed and shook her head. "I thought it was normal."
"I know."
"There's so much blood." The image of her bloodstained dress flashed through his mind, a sight that would undoubtedly haunt him for the rest of his life.
True to the nurse's word, the doctor entered, a serious expression on her face. Damon rose from the bed and turned to watch as she read over Elena's chart. With a small sigh, she removed her glasses and looked at both of them. "I know this is a horrible ordeal that you are both going through," she began gently.
"What's happening?" Elena's voice was small and timid as she stared up at the woman that would deliver their fate to them.
"I'm sorry."
Damon watched as the doctor's mouth continued to move. He knew there were words pouring out, but he couldn't hear a sound. He'd lost all ability to understand anything happening around him. What he did know is that it's gone. It was all over. The world spun around him and the floor was ripped from beneath his feet, sending him into a dizzying free fall into darkness he'd never known.
He was paralyzed, unable to speak or move as he watched Elena's world shatter before her eyes. The doctor was still speaking to her, but she seemed to be digesting about as much as Damon was. Her gaze was locked on her strained hands on her lap. Drops of moisture were pooling on her wrist, marking a clear trail down her skin and disappearing into the white blanket settled over her legs. Her head never lifted, even as the doctor ran what was supposed to be a reassuring hand down her back. He wanted to reach out, say something, do anything, but he had nothing.
"Caroline," Elena choked out when the doctor left the room, "I want Caroline." He only nodded his head, unable to provide her with any words of comfort.
Silently, he left the room and traveled through the hallways. He found them just where he'd left them, huddled together in two chairs in the corner, Caroline's head resting tiredly on Stefan's shoulders. His brother was the first to spot him and he quickly nudged at Caroline's shoulder before jumping to his feet. His face crumbled when he saw his brother's face. Caroline gasped and her hand flew to her mouth as tears quickly flooded her eyes. She sent a devastated look in her husband's direction and then set off in a run down the long hallway to her best friend.
Damon turned to watch her for a moment before turning to look back at his brother. As Stefan came closer to him, Damon dejectedly shook his head, looked toward the stairwell, and made a beeline for the door. The heavy door slammed loudly in the stairwell, echoing through the empty space. His feet carried him down the six flights of stairs it took to get him to the ground level and that much closer to actual air outside of these suffocating walls. He couldn't breathe in this place for another moment. He wasn't even supposed to be here.
Tonight was supposed to consist of holding Elena in his arms through countless songs on the dance floor. He was supposed to make fun of his brother and tell Caroline what an utter pain in his ass that she was. He was supposed to bite his tongue and resist throwing a drink in his father's face, no matter how badly he wanted to. And at the end of it all, he was supposed to go home with Elena, make love to her, and fall asleep knowing that his world was right again. This wasn't the plan.
These thoughts consumed him as he rushed outside into the cold, late winter air of New York. His lungs burned with shock as he swallowed a cold mouthful of oxygen.
"Damon," Stefan called as he followed him into the night.
"I'm not leaving, I just need a minute." His words were hoarse and choked as he spoke to Stefan, unable to turn around and face him. Seeing his face would be the last thread breaking on his composure. He had to keep it together for Elena. When he walked back into that hospital room, he had to be strong and solid, able to bear the weight of her sorrow.
"Damon." He could hear the agonizing strain in his brother's voice. "Damon."
He stopped just inside the courtyard, his feet unable to carry him any further. A crippling groan fell from his lips as his body doubled over and he struggled to rest his weight on his knees. The air was coming out in rapid gasps as he tried to remain in control. Drops of moisture gathered on the blurred concrete below him, and when he felt the burning in his eyes, it was then he realized he was crying.
Every fiber of his being screamed out in pain as he fought against the grueling despair within him. When his brother's hand came down on his back, he felt the last hold he had on his control snap. "Stefan, please just," he choked out, but his voice could carry on no longer.
"I know," his brother whispered. "I know."
For sixteen years, Damon had walked around believing that the pain he'd felt from his mother's death would be the worst pain he'd ever have to endure in his life. He knew not that anything would ever reach the magnitude of the heartbreak he'd lived through as a young child. Standing here tonight, in this courtyard, he found that there was a pain greater than losing one's mother. This, what he felt right now, was worse than even the hardest days after her death. He was supposed to be a dad; they'd heard the heartbeat and seen the baby. However small and grainy it might have appeared on the screen, he'd seen it – it was there. And now it just wasn't?
He didn't know how to make sense of that. One day it's there and Elena is yelling at him because she's thrown up yet again. The next, he's holding a bloodstained gown and watching what was supposed to be the mother of his unborn child cry in pain on a hard hospital bed. Where did it all go so horribly wrong?
"What do I do, Stefan?" he questioned brokenly. "What do I do?" Knowing he was beyond the point of no return, he straightened and turned to face his brother. Tears shone brightly in his green eyes that conveyed every agonizing thought that filtered through his brain.
Distraught, Stefan shook his head, searching for words that he couldn't quite reach. "I don't know." He reached out and slid his hands over Damon's neck. "I need you to tell me what to do. What can I do? What do you need me to do?"
"You can't do anything! None of us can!" He screamed and shoved his brother's hands away from him. He may be falling right now, but he hadn't crashed into the bottom yet. "God, how did this happen? She was fine. All of her numbers were great. The heartbeat was solid. We saw the baby." He turned and pointed a finger in Stefan's direction. "You saw the ultrasounds. Everything was fine! How is this happening?"
"I wish I knew," Stefan spoke quietly, choosing his words with the utmost care. He was walking through an emotional minefield scattered with dozens of mines that could explode at any wrong move, which would result in Damon exploding into a million pieces of shrapnel that aimed to kill.
"This wasn't supposed to happen, Stefan!" he shouted. "I did everything right. I fell for her and made her my girlfriend. I moved her in. I abandoned work to take her to the hospital when she had the scare a few weeks ago. God, I even let her keep her stupid N'Sync albums! I did everything right!" With a shuddered scream, he kicked at one of the small tables.
"I know that, Damon." Stefan tried to approach him calmly, but when it resulted in Damon kicking over a chair, he maneuvered himself directly in front of his older brother. "I know that! I do!" he assured him, holding his neck to keep him firmly in place. "I wish I had a reason for you for why this happened, but I don't. All I know is that sometimes, these things happen. We don't have a reason for it or an answer for how we're supposed to adapt to it. We just have to figure out a way to swim through it all until we get back to solid ground."
"How am I supposed to find solid ground in this, Stefan?" he demanded. "I'm drowning here, and there are no lifeboats."
"I am your lifeboat – me. I am your brother and I am on your side, whatever you need. No matter what happens when you walk back into that hospital or when you go home, I'm still gonna be your brother and I'm always going to be your brother."
Damon listened to his brother's passionate declaration, but it did little to alleviate his pain. His hands gripped his brother's shirt roughly in his fingers, clasping desperately to the material. "I wanted this baby, Stefan," he revealed sadly. "I didn't realize how much I did until I saw the ultrasound, but I did. Now it's just gone."
"I'm sorry," Stefan choked out.
"What am I gonna do, Stefan? I don't know how to do this." Upstairs, Elena was living through the worst night of her life in a cold, lonely hospital room. She needed him in a way she didn't need him when she'd found out she was pregnant and he didn't know how to be there for her. He fixed things; that's what he did, but he couldn't fix this. He couldn't make it better or easier for her. "I don't know how to fix this."
"You can't." Stefan's reply was calm but blunt. "This isn't an account at work. You can't fix this. You have to be there for Elena. That's all you can do."
"I don't know if I can do that."
His brother roughly nodded his head. "Yes you do. You've taken care of me my entire life. You can do that for Elena. Both of you have to be there for each other right now."
Damon glanced into the desolate hospital and knew his brother was right. When he'd found out Elena was pregnant, he told her that they were in this together. Now that everything had fallen apart, that couldn't change. They were still in this together. Even though she'd asked for Caroline, she needed him too. He shouldn't be outside the hospital kicking things; he should be with Elena, holding her hand through it all.
"I have to go to her," he quickly told his brother. "I have to see her."
He rushed back up to Elena's room, ready to do what she needed him to do. The hospital room was quiet and dark when Damon entered it. Caroline's attention shifted to him as he closed the door quietly behind him. Tears glistened in her eyes while she held her best friend that was lying next to her, her head resting gently on the blonde's shoulders. When Caroline nudged her softly she lifted her head and turned to look at Damon. Her face was stained from the tears she'd shed and her eyes were puffy. She sniffled quietly and he went to her side.
Caroline climbed out of the bed as Damon peeled off his suit jacket and kicked off his shoes. She quietly told Elena she'd be outside and exited the room. He walked around the bed and climbed onto the side Caroline had vacated. Elena had to move over a little bit to allow him to comfortably fit, but he slid an arm beneath her and pulled her against him. She shuddered against him, but rested her head on his shoulder and curled into his side.
They remained like this for some time, his hand idly running through her hair as he tried to process everything in his head. He couldn't believe how quickly everything changed. When he watched her standing in their bathroom just a few hours ago, scrutinizing her body that was supposed to change and grow over the next few months, he hadn't prepared himself for this. After the scare a few weeks ago, he'd told himself that everything would be fine. The doctor in the ER and Elena's OB-GYN had told them that everything would be fine. He had no reason to believe otherwise. So, how had this happened? It was a question he couldn't get out of his mind.
He didn't know if he'd asked the question aloud or if the same thoughts were running through Elena's head too when she began to speak. "The doctor said there wasn't anything I could have done," Elena's voice carried softly through the room, but weighed over them like a heavy rock. "She said sometimes these things just happen, that it could have meant there was something wrong with the pregnancy."
His chest constricted painfully as he heard her speak, her voice hollow and broken. "But everything looked fine."
"I guess everything wasn't fine."
"Are they keeping you overnight?"
Her head shook against his chest. "The nurse is going to bring me my discharge papers soon. I should pass everything on my own, but I have to follow up with my OB-GYN in a few days to make sure."
"What does that mean?"
"If I haven't, then they have to—" she sucked back a soft cry and whimpered, "I just want to go home."
At that moment, the door to her room opened and the nurse from earlier slowly entered the room. "I have your discharge papers."
Elena weakly reached out and grabbed the pen from the nurse's extended hand. She barely glanced at the paper as she signed where the nurse pointed and handed the pen right back. "I can go now?"
"Yeah." The nurse nodded. "Here are your instructions from the doctor and she wrote you a prescription for pain medication."
"Thank you," Damon acknowledged when Elena stared wordlessly at her hand while the nurse began to pull the IV from her skin. He slowly pulled his arm from beneath Elena and got out of the bed. He walked over to a small bag that he'd had Caroline get earlier. "My brother and Caroline got you some clothes when we first got here." He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. "I figured the dress was—" he quickly cut himself off. "Anyway, here." She grabbed the offered clothes from him and carefully climbed out of the hospital bed. He walked over to her to help her, but she shrugged him off, saying she could handle it. "I'll just, I'll tell Stefan and Caroline you've been discharged. I'll be back in a minute."
He put his shoes and coat back on and watched her for a moment, waiting for her to say something, but when she remained focused on changing into her clean clothes, he sighed and headed toward the door. Stefan and Caroline were in the waiting room again, waiting patiently for Damon to return and tell them something. "How is she?" Caroline asked when he approached them.
"She's been discharged, so she's changing into the clothes you brought. She just wants to go home."
Caroline stared sadly up at him, eyes wide and filled with compassion. "I'm so sorry, Damon."
He ran a tired hand down his face. "It's really late. You two can go home now. I'll call you in the morning."
Stefan nodded numbly. "You know I sleep with my phone on. Call me if you need anything."
"I will."
"I mean it, Damon." He stepped closer to him and rested his hands on his shoulders. "Call me." When Damon nodded Stefan pulled him into a gentle embrace. Despite their closeness, the brothers rarely hugged, but as Stefan hugged him now, he allowed him, knowing it was comforting to his brother, even if he couldn't be comforted himself right now. After a moment, he pulled away and slowly shook his head. "Love you."
Damon nodded and tried to smile. "Love you too, Stef."
Caroline reached out and ran a hand down his arm. She sucked in a breath and said, "I'll bring you breakfast tomorrow. Tell Elena I love her."
"Okay." The newlyweds clasped their hands together and sighed sadly before turning and going toward the elevator.
Damon watched them until they got into the elevator before he turned and went back to Elena's room. She was shoving her dress in the trashcan with an aggravated shove when he opened the door. Startled, she turned to face him. "It's ruined, no point in taking it home."
"Elena, I'm sure there's something –"
"I don't want the dress, Damon!" she snapped, but quickly reeled back in shock, her eyes wide. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just don't want the dress, okay?" He nodded his head. "Can we leave now? I don't want to be here anymore."
"Yeah, that sounds good." He grabbed the small overnight bag from her and allowed her to slowly pass him.
He watched as she exhaustedly walked in front of him, her steps short and heavy. Her hair was now pulled back into a tight ponytail and her hands were shoved deep into the pockets of her jacket that Caroline had also brought. Her tennis shoe-clad feet squeaked softly as she walked down the hallway, and she seemed to attract curious glances from the hospital personnel that she passed. Everyone seemed to understand the couple was leaving with anything but good news, and he found himself also on the receiving end of sad, sympathetic gazes. A part of him wanted to tell them to stop looking, he didn't need their sympathy. What he needed was for someone to have done something to make this not happen. They couldn't do anything for him now.
Having sent Shawn home already, they were stuck trying to find a cab at three in the morning in the softly falling snow of New York City. The streets, which had been clear when they arrived, were now coated with a thin dusting of pristine, white snow. As he finally hailed them a cab and climbed in after Elena he was aware that there was something ironic in the beauty of the city tonight.
Unlike the ride to the hospital, he did not hold Elena in his arms. She remained a safe distance away, her head resting against the cool window, staring blankly ahead. He wanted to reach for her, feel her hand in his, but it didn't seem possible right now. No form of comfort would help her right now, and if there was something that could, he didn't know what it was. All he could do was watch her and remain silent.
"That will be nine dollars," the driver said from the front seat, shocking Damon out of his distant state.
He pulled the money out of his wallet and passed it through the small window and climbed out of the car. Elena exited through the other side and slowly rounded the taxi, her eyes cast downward to the sidewalk. The nighttime security guard greeted them with a welcoming smile, but Elena passed him without a glance. Damon could only bring himself to nod his head in the doorman's direction. He didn't seem to be able to pretend any longer. He couldn't smile and act like things were fine when they had fallen completely apart.
"I'm gonna take a shower," Elena informed him quietly when they entered the penthouse they'd been so happy in just a short time ago.
He followed her into the bedroom, but when she turned for the bathroom, he went to the bed. The running water sounded a few moments later as he pulled off his jacket and dropped it to the floor, not caring about leaving a mess. As he turned to the dresser and pulled his tie loose, his eye caught the ultrasound picture that Elena had taped to the mirror three weeks ago. With heavy steps, he approached the mirror and stared at what was no longer there.
That had been the first time they'd gotten to hear the heartbeat. It would be the only time they'd get to hear it. His shaky fingers reached out and traced over the small shape that was their baby. A sob fought to break free, but he held it in, refusing to give into everything.
Elena did not seem to be winning this battle he was fighting. He heard a strangled cry come from the bathroom followed by a muffled scream. He stumbled back, his legs giving out under his weight just before he made it to his bed. Broken, he leaned back against the bed and pulled his legs up until his feet were flat on the floor. The tears that could barely come at the hospital now flowed freely as he shattered on his bedroom floor.
All the signs had been there, right in front of him. She was in pain and he'd seen it. He knew it, but he didn't do anything. He should have done something. When she suggested staying home, he should have agreed. Maybe he would have figured it out sooner. Or if he'd just insisted on going to the hospital even when she said she was fine. If he'd just done something different, he could have changed it. He could have fixed it. All he'd had to do was try, but he'd done nothing. He was supposed to protect her and be there for her, but when she'd needed him, he insisted that they go to some stupid party that didn't mean anything.
Now, as he listened to the devastated sobs coming from the shower, he knew he'd failed her. He'd failed, and he wouldn't be able to fix this.
Author's Note: There is is, folks. I know many of you saw this coming a mile away, and were nervous and now it's finally happened. This was a hard chapter to write. I am completely emotionally drained right now. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep, I'm so tired. I told you all you'd start to get answers soon though, and now is that time.