Relocation Factor

Chapter 8: Adapt

Zecora merely dipped her head and went on her way. Bren barely noticed; he was too taken in by the way he felt. Everything was calm inside. It was a feeling he had quite literally never felt before. It was all gone. The death, the hatred, the sadness, the pain. He still remembered it, but it was as though…it had moved behind him. He no longer had to look it in the eye. It was left behind. Bren smiled. He felt like everything was in the realm of possibility. He could climb a mountain. He could swim the Atlantic. He could fight the strongest man in the world. But this victory wasn't his. He turned his head to the right towards Twilight Sparkle.

"Twi, I'm…I'm so sorry I doubted you and Zecora. I finally feel…okay." He gulped after remembering what he eavesdropped on her a few seconds before waking up. "I'm sorry I kept you awake. The screaming must have been terrible. Sorry you had to go through that."

"It's okay, Bren," said the unicorn. "A few days with rough sleep are a good trade to know you're okay." The pony cleared her throat. "Although, I think there's somepony you really owe a thanks to."

Bren nodded. "Of course. I need to tell Zecora." He was almost on his feet when Twilight stopped him.

"No." Bren looked at her, slightly confused. "Zecora did create the elixir. But she has to leave Ponyville for a few days. She was late as it is." Bren nodded. He hoped to get her back when she returned. "Who you really owe thanks to is Rainbow Dash." Bren cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Hearing you in pain like that was hard, Bren." Twilight Sparkle stood a bit taller. "It was terrible enough to be in this house and hear you go through that. Everypony else left after the first hour or so. Everypony except Rainbow Dash. She stayed right by you the whole time. Even when it got bad. Even when you were thrashing around, screaming at the top of your lungs. She was there the whole time." Bren dipped his head slightly. She had watched over him the whole time; he needed to thank her.

"Do you know where she is?"

"I'm not sure. She just took off a few hours ago."

Bren decided to wait for a while before seeking her out. He just wanted to explore this new world that he felt so peaceful in. Besides, he'd be likely to run into Rainbow Dash while he was taking another bath or something. He doubted that it'd be a while before he would see her. Right now, he wanted to move. He wanted to move his new, fixed body around.

"I'll run into her soon, I'm sure," said Bren. "I think I'll go for a bit of a stroll." He smiled and stood up. He re-strapped his boots on and collected the discarded items from his pockets. Almost oblivious to Twilight, he stepped out of the oak tree and breathed deeply. The sun shone unrestrained from the sky, bathing the village in pleasantly warm autumn heat. He took a few deep breaths, and after moving his head to the right, Bren saw that the village was rife with ponies milling about their daily activities. Having been previously been quite antisocial to them at his own welcome party, he felt it necessary to head in and make conversation with the locals. Walking cheerfully into town, the ponies of the town seemed slightly taken aback by Bren, yet not truly scared. For at least a half hour Bren repeated the same answers to about a dozen different ponies. Bren MacMillan. From Earth. The country of Canada. I'm not too sure how I really got here. Again and again he spat forward the answers. But repetition did not drain him. He was so energetic to meet new folks that he didn't mind repeating the same information. After the ponies milling about had all been either introduced to him or had left, he headed back towards Twilight's tree. Creaking the door open once more, he saw that Rarity had beaten him in and was sitting down with Twilight and having what appeared to be tea. Upon sighting the soldier, she magically returned her tea cup to the table and charged towards him, flinging her arms around him again in a melodramatic hug.

"Oh Bren, it's so good to see you awake at last! I'm not sure what was happening to you when you drank the elixir, but from the sound of you it must have been terrible!"

Bren awkwardly reciprocated the hug. He chuckled, as the pony reminded him of every drama queen he met in high school. "It wasn't the best experience I've ever been through, Rarity," he said. "But whatever it was, it worked. I feel great. Nearest I can put it, the past…doesn't hurt anymore." Rarity climbed down from him, her eyes about naturally level with the center of Bren's chest.

"I'm so glad to hear it, darling. I stayed with you as long as I could, but it was just too frightening. You were screaming and thrashing about like some kind of wild beast! Calling out names, crying, and threatening people, it was horrible!"

"I know, it must have been," Bren said, almost with a hint of guilt. "Twilight said I was at it for a few days. I'm really sorry to have put you all through that." He paused to collect his words. "Although, I do think I owe you and Twilight a thank you," he said, nodding to the purple pony. "Thank you for pushing me to do it, for finding someone to help me. And even though it got too hard to bear, thanks for staying by my side as long as you could. It means a lot to me." He thought back to all the people back home, who had told him he was "fine", or said "get over it", or the doctors that cleared him fit for duty after Jamie died. Then to think that these ponies who barely knew him had been more supportive than everyone else was staggering.

"It's the very least we could do, my dear. But there's somepony I think you owe thanks to more than Twilight and I."

Bren nodded. "Rainbow Dash. Twilight already let me know. She said she took off a few hours ago. I'm sure I'll run into her sooner or later."

"Actually, come to think of it, I ran into her earlier today while I was out taking care of some errands. She said she was headed over to Applejack's." Bren stood.

"I'd better head over and have a word with the two of them. Thanks again, you two. For everything." Bren headed out of the oak tree and towards Applejack's farm. After walking the familiar route in the pleasant sunlight, he arrived at the farm, seeing the familiar sight of ponies hard at work ploughing fields. He didn't see Applejack at her usual spot kicking the apples off the trees in the orchard, and concluded she must be inside the house. He strolled toward the front door. Before he was in arm's reach of the doorknob, a large, red pony stood in front of it, blocking his path. This one was definitely a male; it had broader shoulders, more defined muscle, and far taller, with its eyes coming just below Bren's chin. A strand of hay was protruding from its mouth. "You…uh…must be Big MacIntosh," said Bren, remembering Applejack mentioning his name earlier. He smiled an uneasy smile.

"Eeyup," said the red stallion. His cold gaze met Bren's, and he moved not a single muscle.

"Uh…is she here?" he asked.

"Eeyup," the stallion repeated, again refusing to move.

"Oh, uh…great," Bren said, taking a step to the side of Big Mac. "I just need to go in and have a word with her-"

Big MacIntosh sidestepped, blocking Bren's path. "Nope," he grunted, his gaze becoming more stern. Bren recoiled, more out of surprise than anything else. "Last time y'all was here, y'allmost hurt my sis real bad." He tapped his hoof on the ground. "I don't think y'all should be comin' round here no more."

Bren dipped his head. "Cured" or not, he had still done wrong. Big Mac was right to be defensive. But he had to get in; he had to tell her the good news. And that he was sorry. He hadn't spoken to her since they talked outside of Twilight's house. She had been with him all the way to Zecora's and back, but in an awkward silence. He had to speak to her. "Look, Mac. There's no denying what I did. I still feel terrible about it. But I've gotten help. Zecora fixed all of it. I need to talk to your sister and apologize. I don't know how much good it'll do, but I need to. I'll only be five minutes. If I'm in there longer, you can drag me out by my ears. Promise."

Big Mac shifted the hay from one side of his mouth to the other. "All right," he finally said. "Five minutes, no more."

Bren nodded. "Thanks, big guy." He opened the door and immediately heard voices coming from down the hall; he picked out the raspy lilt of Rainbow Dash, which was countered by the southern accent of Applejack. As he approached the room, the voiced rose from murmurs to more coherent words. His hand was inches away from opening the door when he heard one that stopped him.

"Bren," the voice said. It was clearly Applejack. They were talking about him. Bren withdrew his hand and put his ear to the door to listen.

"You don't get it, Applejack," piped in Rainbow Dash. "I really think what Zecora gave him worked."
"I dunno, sugar cube. I was right next to him for all that screamin' he was doing. Didn't y'all see how he was thrashin' his hands about? And how he kept yelling out that he was going to kill someone…it scared me half to death, it did." Applejack's warmth was absent from her voice.

Rainbow Dash sounded off again, this time sounding noticeably angry. "How would you know? You left after two hours! I was there the whole time! He got better! I would have stayed right until the end if I didn't have to move the clouds this morning! He got so much better at the end! He was just lying there quietly when I left! It looked like it was almost over!" Bren smiled. So she really did stay next to him the whole time.

"I get that, Rainbow Dash. But you weren't there when that whole…thing happened. You didn't see the look in his eyes. He was like a wild animal. I ain't never been so scared in my life. What if he hadn't stopped himself when he did?" Upon hearing Applejack's retort, Bren's eyes hit the floor. She was right.

"Don't say that!" shouted Rainbow Dash. "He's not a wild animal! What happened wasn't his fault! You were there when he explained everything! Didn't you listen to a single word he said?"
"I know that, sugar cube, I know," Applejack's voice sounded dreadfully forlorn. An unwelcome change from her usual self. "But I don't know how well he can control himself. Or especially that other side of his. I think I…I just need some time. I just need some time to think…"

Bren pulled his head away from the door. He had heard enough. "I need some time to think." He had heard that line before. His last girlfriend had said that to him after he got off his second tour, descending into a moody pit of alcoholism and withdrawn sadness. He had never found out how much time she needed; she left and he didn't chase her. He never saw her again. Applejack was doing the same thing. But Bren was fine with that. He understood. And while he was regretful that he couldn't keep her around, he was at the very least glad that she'd hopefully be the last person he'd lose due to his shell shock. A small smile crossed his face and a glimmer of hope shot through his heart as he remembered Rainbow Dash and the rest of the ponies faithfully staying with him the rest of the way.

Leaving through the front door and nodding towards Big MacIntosh, he headed back toward Ponyville, in a limbo-like state of both happiness and sadness. Turning towards Twilight's home, he encountered Rarity, on her way back to her shop.

"Hello, dear!" the Unicorn greeted. "How was your talk with Applejack and Rainbow Dash?"

"It didn't exactly happen, I'm afraid," replied Bren. "I overheard the two of them talking. I don't think Applejack is too comfortable around me still. Rightfully so."

Rarity looked shocked. "I can't believe what I'm hearing! Well, I'll have none of that! I'll head right on over there and let her know what's going on!" Rarity abruptly turned around and started to head toward the farm when Bren stopped her with a hand on her back.

"Rarity, no," he said softly. Confused, she turned around. "It's okay. She has every right to feel like that. All she needs is time." Bren sighed, remembering what happened the last time someone told her that. "Let's not forget that at the end of the day, it's still my fault. I know how she feels. Hell, I killed all of the guys that pulled weapons on me." Rarity looked horrified. Bren just gulped. "Even if she doesn't want to stay around me any more, I'll understand. She'll at least be the last one I push away like this." He forced a smile.

Bren, expecting another soap opera blubberfest, was surprised when Rarity kept her emotions in check. "Bren, I must disagree! Surely you don't want to lose another friend, do you?"

"That's the opposite of what I want. But I've learned that you can't chase people on things like this. You have to give them as much space as they need. If that amount of space means losing contact, well, that's just the way it goes. If you push too much, they get scared of you…" He thought back to the words Applejack used earlier. "They see you like a wild animal."

"Bren, please follow me back to my house," Rarity said abruptly said. "I do believe that this is a conversation we can't finish here on the side of the road." Bren silently agreed as he followed her home to a lavishly decorated dwelling adorned with pony-shaped mannequins, various measuring implements and sheets of fabric. A four corner bed with lush drapes sat in the corner. "Please, make yourself comfortable, darling," said Rarity. She ducked into the next room, returning momentarily with a set of tea cups and a pot, levitating in the air magically. That was one aspect of this place that would take Bren the longest to get used to: honest-to-God magic. "Now my dear, what were you saying earlier? I'm not quite sure I understand."

Bren told her the story of Candace, his first long-term girlfriend dealing with his PTSD and how he hadn't seen her since she left. Rarity again contained her daytime drama sobbing, but looked forlorn nonetheless. "You poor thing! Well, at least we can see through all that for who you really are." Bren smiled at the compliment. He wasn't that great a person. He had still done some bad things in his life. Still, it was good to hear it said. It almost reassured him. "Either way, I'm sure Candace has no idea what she's missing!" Bren was taken aback by this one. He wondered what she'd think if she saw him today. Cured! A miracle! He had barely given her a second thought in the years it had been since he'd seen her.

"Heh, I guess you're right. Maybe I should look her up when I get back home." His own words hit him. "If I get back home." He stared out the window for a brief moment, seeing the sun slowly set. "Listen, I should head back to Twilight's and get some proper sleep. Thanks for the tea. And the talk." He smiled and stood up.

"Bren, you're welcome here any time. And now that I think of it, you must stop by and let me make you an outfit!"

Bren hadn't thought of that. Apart from a polypropylene liner, the only clothes he had with him were what he was wearing. They'd start to deteriorate, and they would probably start to smell soon. It wasn't like he could wash them, unless he felt like walking around naked until it was done. "Much appreciated, Rarity. I'll see you tomorrow." He opened the door and stepped out into the dusk.

He stepped out into the twilight of the pony inhabited town. As he made his way toward Twilight Sparkle's house, he noticed that tonight was colder than the last night he remembered. He theorized that this place was on a similar axis to where he was from, and was approaching winter. If it was approaching winter now, and Afghanistan, where he had been the most recently before coming here, was also entering winter, then the axis of this planet must be similar to-

"BREN!" a familiar voice cried from behind him. The soldier's head was halfway towards looking around his shoulder when a cyan blur struck him square in the back, driving him to the ground. Reflexes not dulled by his newfound comfort, Bren managed to turn mid-fall so that he landed on his back rather than face down. As his vision focused, he saw that his assailant was an airborne Rainbow Dash. He grinned from ear to ear and said the only thing he could think of.

"Hey, you!" Bren gulped at the simplicity of his statement but held his smile nonetheless.

"I'm so glad to see you awake! It feels like it's been ages!" The cyan Pegasus held her head tight to Bren's chest. "How do you feel? Are you better now?"

Bren responded confidently despite the abruptness of her question. "I'm fixed now, Dash. Whatever Zecora gave me worked wonders. I feel like a new man."

"I'm so glad to hear that!" Rainbow Dash tightened the grip of her two front hooves around Bren's torso in what appeared to him as a hug. "You were screaming and flailing around and crying the whole time. You were asleep for so long; Zecora said that the elixir usually only took a few hours. You were out for days. We were beginning to think you'd never wake up."

"I guess three days is what I needed. I think the folks that Zecora is used to dealing with don't have…uh…eventful pasts like mine." Bren stayed silent for a moment. "Dash, can I get up, please?"
"Oh, uh, sure. Sorry about that," the cyan pony rolled off of him to the side, allowing him to stand up and dust himself off. As he turned to face her, he saw that despite the blue complexion, Rainbow Dash appeared to be blushing.

Bren chuckled at her bashfulness. "No worries. Let's finish this talk back at Twilight's." Rainbow Dash nodded enthusiastically and the duo continued walking to the great oak tree. With a relieved sigh, Bren slumped down beside the door. Predictably, Rainbow promptly followed suit. Bren took a deep breath and said what he had waited to say all day. "Look, Dash, from what the others are telling me, it got pretty bad when I was blacked out on that elixir." Rainbow Dash shuddered and nodded. "Now, most of them had given up and left after an hour or two. And that's okay. I don't blame them at all. Lying beside an incoherent, screaming and crying man is hard for anyone to handle. But you…you stayed. You were there next to me for three whole days while I poured my guts out. Not going to sugar coat it, that takes some serious guts. Thanks. It's good to know that there's someone who's got my back a hundred per cent." He gave a warm smile.

Rainbow returned the favour. "Heh, no problem Bren. Yeah, it got tough, but someone had to stay with you and…um…make sure you were okay and not hurt. And hey, they don't say I've got the Element of Loyalty for nothing!" Bren chuckled at that. The smile dropped from his face when his next question came to mind: the conversation between her and Applejack he overheard at the farm.

"One more question." The cyan pony looked at Bren and nodded. "Why did you lie to me about Applejack?" Rainbow Dash suddenly looked highly nervous.

"Wha-what do you mean?" She stammered uncomfortably.

"When I ran into you at the pond, you said that Applejack wasn't afraid of me or uncomfortable," said Bren.

"She…uh, she isn't," she replied. Her stammer was still present.

"Rainbow Dash, you don't have to lie to me. I was at the farm this morning. I heard you and AJ talking. I heard what she said."

"What…you were there the whole time? What were you doing there?"

"I came over because I heard you were there and I wanted to say thanks for staying with me. As well, I wanted to tell Applejack the good news. I was just outside the kitchen door when I heard you talking about me." Rainbow Dash's eyes hit the ground.

"I…you're right Bren. She didn't say that. I only told you she did because I thought it would make you come back and talk with us. I thought maybe if you thought she wasn't angry you would want to come back." Her head drooped to the ground. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to lie to you."

Bren laid a reassuring hand on the back of her neck. "It's okay, Dash," he insisted. Her eyes looked up to meet his.

"Really?"
"Of course. I was never angry, even when I found out this morning. All I needed to know was why. Now that I know why you told me that, it makes a lot of sense." Rainbow Dash didn't seem to be reassured. "Honestly? I'm glad you did." She seemed to be every so slightly more uplifted. "If you hadn't said that to me, maybe I wouldn't have come back here. I would have just stayed there and moped or wandered somewhere or who knows what. Because of what you said, I came back, talked about it, and got some help. And now look. I'm a new man. I don't hold it against you at all. Where I'm from, we call that a white lie."

The red returned to Rainbow's cheeks. "Yeah…I guess so. I still feel sorta…guilty though. I think you shouldn't lie to people, even when it's for the greater good."

Bren smiled. "Well, let's start this fresh. Clean off the slate. No more lies?" He extended his hand.

"No more lies," said Rainbow Dash as she extended a hoof to meet his hand. Bren stared awkwardly at it for a moment, unsure of how to perform the gesture, before grabbing the end of her hoof like a baseball and shaking it. He chuckled to himself at the comedy of it. Rainbow Dash looked up at him again. "So, you never did finish telling me about where you come from." Bren thought back to the night before he attacked Applejack. Last he could remember was telling here about Petawawa, where he was based out of. He did also give quite a bit of info on his past three days ago, but not a lot about the world he lived in; just ways that world was unkind to him.

"Well, what more do you want to know? I think I already told you a lot about where I live," replied Bren.

"You said people like you need machines to fly, right? What are they like?" Bren thought for a moment and decided it would be far easier to try and draw what aircraft looked like rather than a physics lesson. He opened up his breast pocket and pulled out an all-weather notebook and a pen. He flipped through a dozen or so pages of frequencies and range indicators until he found a blank page. There, he sketched to the best of his ability a jet fighter and a helicopter. Not exactly a work of art, but he surprised himself with his own penmanship in the drawings.

"Well, we have two ways to fly. We call them planes and helicopters," he said, pointing to the respective diagrams as he spoke. "Planes usually need to get a running start to take off, but they fly higher and faster. I work with helicopters like these a lot more. They can take off straight up and down, and since they're slower and fly lower to the ground, they can get into tighter spaces than planes, so we sometimes use them to drop us off or pick us up." He looked up at Rainbow Dash to see if she was following along, but was surprised by a forlorn look she was projecting into his eyes. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Sorry…I was just thinking. What are you going to say to Applejack?"

Bren sighed. He wondered how many times he'd have to explain this today. "She said she needs space and time to think. That's exactly what I'll give her. If she's still too afraid to come near me, well, then I wish her nothing but the best. We'll just go our separate ways." The expression on Rainbow Dash's face was hard for Bren to decipher. She was about to speak, but Bren cut her off with the same rationale he gave Rarity. "I've had this happen to people I care about before. You can't intrude in their space at times like this."

"I guess…it just made me so mad when she said you were like a wild animal."

Bren thought of all the terrible things he'd done to people in the past. The pain associated with them was gone, but the memory lingered. "I am an animal," he replied flatly. "Or at least, maybe I was."

"Don't say that, Bren!" yelled the pony, now sounding noticeably angry.

"It's true. The things I've done to people…" he trailed off as he recalled all the things he had done to people that transcended morality. All in the name of the greater good…or so he kept telling himself. "It's funny…I joined because I was tired of the grey I saw with the police. I wanted everything to be black and white. But I guess you just can't run from grey." He remembered interrogating a man who had information on where roadside bombs were placed. This guy knew. But he played tough. So Bren had to use extreme methods. He electrocuted the man. He beat him savagely. He waterboarded him. He rubbed salt in the man's wounds. He finally coughed up the locations. It was for the greater good, Bren had told himself. It was to save lives. Bren's mouth changed to the shape of a smile. "But then I came here, and there wasn't black and white or grey. Just colours. Nothing but bright and vibrant colours."

Rainbow Dash seemed to be assured, yet still showed signs of nervousness. "Why are you still sad? I thought Zecora fixed you."
"She did, in a way. All the pain I had with my life and the things I've done is gone. I've moved on from it. But that doesn't mean that the memories are gone."

"Well…so long as you're okay, I'm glad." She pressed her head into his side and closed her eyes, exhaling deeply and nuzzling Bren's side. Bren smiled at the gesture. Again he placed his hand on the back of her neck and stroked it like she were a pet. To Bren's surprise she had similar reactions: stretching out her front legs and sighing in relaxation. She opened her eyes to the night sky. "Look, Bren! A shooting star! I've never seen one this bright before!" Bren looked up and traced the night sky with is eyes, trying to find movement. Something caught his eye and he moved to stare directly at it. It moved across the sky at an alarming rate. Blinking the whole way. Blinking. It was then that Bren realised what it was.

"That's not a shooting star, it's a satellite!" He sprung to his feet and bolted back inside to retrieve his gear. Rummaging through his pack as fast as he could, he retrieved the GPS and radio, extending the antenna on the radio to its full three metre length as he ran, charging out the door with the antenna in front of him like a lance. He checked the GPS, which confirmed his belief: it was definitely a satellite. With only one, he wouldn't be able to get a fix on his grid reference or location, but it was better than nothing. He switched on the radio and pushed the transmit button. "This is Sergeant Bren MacMillan. If you can hear me, I am unaware of my current whereabouts. My team and I were on a mission to retrieve a stolen piece of equipment called STARLIGHT. I say again, STARLIGHT. We were sent by Colonel Joson, who is in command of a well trained and equipped group of private contractors. They ambushed me and my team. As far as I am aware I am the only known survivor. Do not trust Joson. I say again, do not trust Joson." He released the Push to Talk switch and heard only static. He waited a few seconds and repeated his message. Still only static. He repeated it again. And again. Over and over he sent the message, his eyes still fixated on the rapidly disappearing blinking dot that was the satellite. With each repeat of the transmission he sent, his message became more frantic, his voice crackling at the stress and speeding up for fear of running out of time. He released the switch one last time and heard only static as the GPS displayed zero satellites in range. He exhaled sharply and sank down next to Rainbow Dash.

"Do…do you think anypony heard you? Back home, I mean?" Rainbow asked.

"I hope so, Rainbow Dash," said Bren, trailing off. The soldier and the pony both shifted their gazes upward and simply stared, silently observing the ever encompassing black sky.