Chapter 21
Swan dive down eleven stories high
Hold your breath until you see the light
You can sink to the bottom of the sea
Just don't go without me
"Hey," Stefan lifted his head at the sound of his wife's voice. She was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, a curious expression on her face. Sawyer had fallen asleep moments after Damon got off the phone with Andie, so Damon had handed him over and returned to the living room. "He finally go to sleep?" she asked.
Stefan looked down at his son sleeping peacefully in the center of the bed, contented sighs falling from his lips as he dreamed about whatever babies dreamed of. "Yeah, I just thought I'd stay in here and keep an eye on him."
Caroline gently closed the door behind her and walked over to him. "Damon says we need to leave for the church soon. He said I could stay back with Sawyer if I need to, though."
"I can stay too, if you need me to," he offered.
"No," she shook her head, "I think you probably need to go with Damon. I know he says he's going through with this, but I doubt it's the best idea to leave him alone."
"Alaric will be there."
"Cause he's always such a great influence." She sighed and bit her lip. "God, this day is such a disaster."
"Hey, we'll get through this." He reached out and tugged her to him. "We've gone through worse."
"And we nearly died of exhaustion," she claimed dramatically. While motherhood had mellowed her out a little more, she was still as dramatic as ever. "We can't deal with a baby and an off-the-rails Damon again."
"Hey, look at me." He grabbed her face in his hands and tilted it up toward his. "Everything will be fine. I know you're worried about Elena, but she'll call when she's ready. And Damon, this isn't like last time. No matter what happens, he's not going to spiral again."
"You don't think he's going to go through with it." She looked slightly surprised at her own words as she stared up at him. They'd all been thinking it for months, but they'd never voiced it.
Stefan wished he could say he had no doubt at all about his brother going through with this wedding; it would be far less messy if he did, but he was worried. He trusted that his brother loved Andie, but he'd never truly be able to forget how Damon had reacted when Elena left. It had broken him and the pieces weren't even fully back together again.
"Truthfully, I don't know what he's going to do. He loves her, and they are good together, in their own way, but she's not Elena. I think that's what he likes, though. She makes him feel safe."
"She makes him feel boring."
"Well, I don't exactly remember either of us complaining when they started dating."
"We would have taken Katherine again if it meant we got to sleep for an entire night."
"Okay, let's not talk about this anymore," he suggested. "No matter what we think or say, Damon is going to do what he wants, and we'll just need to be there for him when all is said and done."
"And Elena," Caroline added, which resulted in a roll of Stefan's eyes. "She's my best friend, Stefan."
"Trust me, I know." When she tensed in his arms and began to pull away, he quickly tightened his hold and apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm still struggling with how to deal with her most of the time."
"She hates what she did. You know she does."
"I know," he acknowledged. "But she did it, and that's all there is to it. She's going to be in our lives forever, and I get that, but it will still be a long time before I'm ever truly okay with her."
"You didn't really get to see both sides like I did," she pointed out gently. "You only saw Damon."
"That was all I needed to see."
"Maybe this is what we shouldn't talk about." Even though it had been a long time, they still had disagreements when it came to Damon and Elena. It wasn't as bad as when Elena was in Chicago and they were both too scared to really bring up anything about Damon and Elena's relationship, but it was still iffy. That time had been hard on their marriage, but they'd gotten through it with effort and standing by each other, no matter what. Ultimately, the end of Damon and Elena's relationship had somehow brought something great to theirs. She looked over to her sleeping son and smiled happily. "I say we talk about Sawyer. I never get tired of that topic."
A smile spread across Stefan's face as he looked over to Sawyer as well. "He is pretty fun to talk about."
"We made a good baby."
"The best," he said, but then added, "Well, other than when he won't stop screaming."
"True," she admitted. "But we did get a lot of practice in with Damon. Think how hard the no sleep thing would have been if we hadn't spent a year parenting your brother."
"At least we didn't have to change his diapers."
Stefan's cell phone sliced through the dark silence at just past two in the morning. Caroline whimpered against his chest as his phone rang again. "Baby, answer the phone."
"I'm getting it," he groaned as he reached out and fumbled around for the offensive object on his nightstand. With a tired yawn, he glanced at the caller ID to see Damon's name flashing back at him. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" he demanded when he answered the call.
"Stefan, hey, it's Mark, the bartender at Green Street."
Stefan immediately sat up in bed, now fully awake. "Where's Damon?"
"The bar closed about a half hour ago, but he's refusing to take a cab, and he can barely walk. I didn't know who else to call."
"Dammit," he cursed under his breath. "Alright, I'll be there soon. Do not let him leave."
"I won't," Mark assured him before hanging up.
Stefan threw the covers from his body and rolled out of bed, reaching for the jeans he'd discarded earlier in the night.
"Where are you going?" Caroline mumbled as she rolled over and watched him pull on his jeans. "It's the middle of the night."
"Damon's down at Green Street, and he's had too much to drink. I have to go get him."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"I wish I was." After he finished buttoning up his shirt he'd worn earlier in the day, he leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Caroline's lips. "I'll be back soon. Love you."
"Love you too," she murmured, as he ran a gentle hand through her hair, already slipping back to sleep.
Quietly, he slipped out of the loft, and headed for the elevator. It had been seven months since Elena left and Damon had been spiraling. At first, he'd refused to acknowledge it. Then, he'd moved to finding any distraction he could lay his eyes on. Now, Stefan didn't know what the hell he was moving to. He just knew that it couldn't be good if he was getting a call to come get him from a bar.
Damon never got drunk – not to the point where he couldn't walk. He liked being in control too much to let it all go for a few drinks. The night Elena left him and he'd found Damon passed out in his penthouse from alcohol poisoning had been the first time he'd ever seen his brother truly drunk. It was a sight he never wanted to revisit.
He didn't think anything would ever equal the amount of fear he'd felt grip his heart as when he walked into the destroyed living room of the penthouse and saw his brother unconscious, chest barely moving.
Stefan wanted to make it better for his brother – to make it not hurt so much, but he knew that wasn't possible. Elena was the only one who could even have a hope of fixing this whole mess and she'd run off to Chicago. Brilliant move on her part.
He knew that she was Caroline's best friend, the maid of honor in their wedding, but he couldn't help but be angry with her. He understood that she'd been in pain, and she hadn't known how to handle it anymore, but the way she was choosing to handle the loss was killing his brother, which killed him. He'd watched his mother slowly deteriorate with cancer when he was a small child, and now he was watching his brother deteriorate more with each day.
Those thoughts plagued him all the way to the bar, and by the time he got there, he was angry with the whole situation. "Where is he?" he asked, once Mark let him inside.
"At the bar," Mark motioned behind him. "I've been trying to pour water down his throat."
Stefan felt some of his anger fade as he saw Damon sitting with his head down on the bar. "Thanks for calling me," he quickly told Mark before making his way over to his brother. "Hey, time to go," he said as he moved beside Damon.
Damon opened his eyes to look at Stefan, but he didn't lift his head. "Shouldn't you be at home with Blondie?"
"Yes, I should be," he agreed. "But instead, I'm here, dragging your drunken ass out of a bar. Come on, get up."
"I don't need you to drag me anywhere. I can get myself home," Damon grumbled, but everything about him said the exact opposite. His shirt was halfway unbuttoned, and he looked like he'd fall over if Stefan blew on him.
"Don't care, get up. You're gonna come stay with me and Caroline tonight."
"I don't need a babysitter," he groaned.
Stefan sighed, reaching the end of his patience. He was tired and he wanted to be back in his bed with his wife. "I didn't ask. Now get up. I'm not going to tell you again."
"God, you sound like our dad," he scoffed, but finally made a move to slide off of the stool. He was unsteady on his feet, wobbling back against the bar. "Oh shit."
"Come on," Stefan coaxed, sliding his arm around Damon's back to help him stay up on his feet. "Let's get you out of here."
Damon complained the entire way out of the bar and as Stefan helped him into the cab. He was still insistent on not needing a babysitter, and being perfectly fine to go home alone. When Stefan was one more complaint away from shoving his brother's head into the window, Damon groaned and rolled his head to the side.
Stefan's breath caught in his throat as he saw the unfiltered devastation in his brother's gaze. "This sucks."
He slowly shook his head, unable to find his voice for a moment. Knowing his brother was in pain and really seeing it were two different things. He'd never seen his brother like this before, and he knew that he never wanted to see it again.
"I know it does," he finally told him quietly.
"I miss her," he whispered, his voice pained.
"I know."
"God, I didn't know it could hurt this much. Everything hurts."
Stefan stared at Damon and his heart ached for his brother. His whole life, Damon had been the strong one, completely untouchable. He never needed to be protected or rescued. Damon was the dependable one; the only dependable person in his life until Caroline. He might not have ever shown that side to anyone else, but Stefan saw it.
He got to grow up knowing that he had the best big brother in the world. He knew that no matter what, Damon would never let anyone hurt him. And now, someone had hurt Damon, and not only did it make him feel a sadness that he'd never wanted to feel, but it made him angry. No, it made him furious. He was furious with Elena. She hadn't been able to see beyond her own pain and had, in turn, caused even more pain for Damon. Then, she'd left him completely alone and broken, no second glances.
As he looked at Damon, felt the pain that he was in, saw the utter desolation on his face, he knew that he would never forget this moment. Nobody was ever going to do this to his brother again.
Stefan reached across the small space in the backseat of the taxi and rested a hand on Damon's shoulder. "This is going to get better. I'm going to be here for you."
"It's not going to get better."
"It will," he insisted. "I promise you."
"What do you know? You and Caroline are perfect."
Stefan was silent for a moment as he waited for Damon's groggy eyes to look at him again. Once, the blue eyes were trained on him, halfway closed, he spoke. "I know that you're my brother and that you're the strongest guy I know. You are going to be fine. I promise you."
Damon would test that belief of his for the next six months, dragging him out of bed in the middle of the night, multiple times a week, to go carry him home from a bar. He was no longer bedding women every night, but a part of him wished he would. At least when he was doing his dance with Katherine again, she'd kept him occupied enough to allow Stefan a few moments of peace.
Who would have ever thought he'd be grateful to Katherine for a damn thing?
"How is he?" Caroline questioned, when he was slowly leaving the guest room and quietly shutting the door behind him.
Stefan looked over his shoulder and then back at his wife, who was standing uncomfortably in the dim hallway, tugging at the bottom of his shirt that fell to her mid-thighs. "Not dead." It came out flat and definitive. That was the only thing he could think of to explain his brother most days. He wasn't dead. The end.
His shoulders sagged and his head fell forward as he walked past his wife into their bedroom. She followed quietly behind him, her feet softly padding against the cool, hardwood floor. He removed his shirt and tossed it to the floor, then sat down on the edge of the bed, mentally and physically drained. He hadn't had a full night's sleep in three months. Even if he didn't have to go pick Damon up off the floor of a bar, he still laid awake, sometimes clutching his phone in his hand, petrified of the call that would come and inform him that his brother was dead.
This path could not go on forever. Damon would hit a dead end soon, and that end would be the literal end of his life. If he lost his brother, he didn't know what he would do. Though they fought and disagreed on many things, he could not fathom a world that his brother did not exist in. He didn't even want to try.
Caroline curled into his side, draping her legs over his and wrapping her arms around his bare torso. "He's not going to die," she whispered into the dark silence of the night, resting her head softly against his shoulder.
"He's not going to live if he keeps doing this."
"He'll get better."
He sighed and leaned forward until his hands rested on his stiff knees, forcing Caroline to remove her head from his shoulder. "It's been over a year, Care."
"I know," she told him gently. Ever since the night Elena had shown up at their front door, suitcases in hand, and mascara trailing down her face, she'd walked on eggshells around him when it came to Damon, and she never mentioned Elena. Much in the same way it was a forbidden word with Damon, it was a topic off-limits in their home. Damon was his brother; there was no side to take other than his. Elena was Caroline's best friend, the maid of honor in their wedding; her loyalty ran fierce and deep. They were at odds, fearful for those they loved, but unable to voice the fears to each other. Somehow, the annihilation of Damon and Elena's relationship had seeped into their marriage, and placed a strain on their once easy, carefree love. "I don't know what to say."
"What is there to say?" he questioned, truly at a loss.
"It's okay to be mad. I am."
"I don't think you want to know where my anger is directed right now," he warned her tersely.
She grabbed his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. She leaned in close, her eyes locked with his. "You're my husband, I already know."
"I think your best friend is a crappy person," he bit out. She'd just cut the reins, given him the chance to say whatever he needed or wanted to for one night, and he was going to take it. He had to. "I think she's a crappy person that made a mess of everything and has left us here to clean it up." He brushed her hands from his face and moved to his feet. He couldn't stay still for this conversation. His nerves were fraying and he needed to move. "And a part of me hates that I think that, because she's your best friend and she was the maid of honor in our wedding. She was also supposed to be the mother of my niece or nephew, and she went through a horrible thing. I get that, I do, but I don't know how to make sense of her or what she did to my brother. He's dying in there, and I'm helpless to stop it. So, you're right, I'm mad, and I'm not just mad at her. I'm mad at Damon too. It's selfish and I shouldn't be, but I can't do this for much longer. I can't be the person that fixes things, that's him. I only mess things up when I try to fix them. I need him to get it together and sober up, because if I have to bury my brother, I will never forgive him."
"Hey," Caroline moved from the bed and blocked the path he was wearing in the floor. She pressed her hands to his face and held him tightly in her grasp, willing him to listen to and believe the words she was about to speak. "Your brother is not going to die."
"If he doesn't stop this, he will. Then what happens? What am I supposed to do if my brother is dead? How do I fix that?"
"There won't be anything to fix," she said forcefully. "He's going to be fine if you stay by his side. You won't lose him."
Normally he loved his wife's unflinching ability to always remain positive, but tonight he found it simply wishful thinking. It sounded naïve and too easy. That's not how things worked anymore. "I wish I could trust in that right now, but I can't afford to be that stupid anymore."
"I'm not okay with any of this either, Stefan. I'm mad at her too," Caroline confessed, voicing the words for the first time since Elena had left. "I'm mad that she left Bonnie and me, and it kills me, because I know she's in pain. I hear it in her voice every time I talk to her. I know she's realized she's made a mistake, and she doesn't think she can fix it. I hate it for her, but I also hate her for making the decision in the first place. It was always supposed to be the three of us forever. So, I do know things aren't really that simple right now, but that doesn't mean I can't believe that things will get better."
"Go look at my brother in our guest bedroom and tell me that again."
"I don't have to do that, because I know I'm right. Even if you can't believe that right now, I will, and that will have to be enough." She gently pressed her lips to his and opened her mouth to him. No matter what happened with the people around them, they would remain constant. She meant every word in her vows, and she would be his for the rest of her life. He would be the father of her children and the owner of her heart; that she was sure of. When he'd moved them across the room and lowered her onto their bed, he finally pulled away for air. His face hovered above hers as he pressed his hips against hers. Her fingers danced gracefully over the tan skin of his cheeks, and she could see the pain radiating behind his eyes, the anger and exhaustion that fought to take over, but she paid attention on none of it. She placed her focus on the love that shone instead, and whispered, "I'll believe enough for the both of us."
"Never leave me," he whispered, his quiet voice catching in the back of his throat. "It will be me in that guest room if you leave. I need you."
Her eyes shone with tears at the near desperation in her husband's voice as he pleaded with her to never do something she'd never be capable of anyway. Good, bad, and ugly, she was with him until the very end. It was always him and it always would be. "The only way I'm leaving is if you're coming with me."
His fingers gripped and traced over her bare hips, almost as if he was convincing himself that she was here, with him, in this moment. When he lowered his lips to hers, she knew this was what tonight would be about. It would not be about desire or for sating any need. It would simply be hours spent with her husband, coming together through the night, seeking and finding comfort in only the way they could get and give. Their movements were slow and soft, paying attention to every inch of their bodies.
The world outside of their bedroom no longer existed right now. There was no drama or pain with Damon or Elena. Right now, it was just Caroline and Stefan, hibernating in their own world for as long as they needed. There were tears and declarations of love, followed by promises to be together forever. All insecurities were secure once more and all was right with them.
The morning sun was lightly filtering in through the windows when Caroline pulled Stefan tightly to her, their bodies slick with sweat. She was tired, but not yet ready to let go of him.
Stefan peppered soft kisses along her chest and neck. "That question you asked the other night? I think we're ready." She could feel his smile against her skin as he spoke the words, probably already imagining her reaction.
She went still in his arms, allowing a few moments for the words to truly sink in. Had he really said them? Was this just from the euphoria of their hours of making love? Was it real? "I'm going to need you to say the words."
"Baby," he said the word easily, lifting his head to look her in the eyes. "I think we're ready to start down that road."
"What about Damon? We can't exactly have a baby if he's still crashing in our spare room four nights a week."
She'd brought the subject up last week of them reevaluating when they'd like to start trying for a baby. With everything that had happened with Damon and Elena, instead of it making her wary of taking those steps, it had made her realize they weren't guaranteed anything. And then things had changed since they'd last had the conversation. Stefan had realized it wouldn't take him as long to get his doctorate as he'd originally thought, which had been one of the deciding factors on waiting. She had gotten a promotion, which allowed her to have more realistic hours and not have to run out in the middle of date night to handle a problem with getting a dress to a certain stylist for an event because a celebrity changed her mind at the last minute.
Their lives were changing, and becoming more defined and stable. So, she'd mentioned speeding up their timeline, because truthfully, when Elena had been pregnant, Caroline had realized she really wanted a baby too. She'd wanted to be a mom ever since she was a little girl. She wanted to be a mom and a wife, and for her kids to grow up with Elena's and Bonnie's. Maybe it wouldn't happen that way anymore, but she knew that she truly wanted it now. She wanted a child with Stefan.
"The baby won't come tomorrow," Stefan pointed out quietly. "There are still things we'd figure out before we actually have the baby, but I want to try."
Maybe they weren't approaching bringing a baby into their world in the best way possible. She understood that the need was also probably coming from some fear over what was going on with Damon, but she didn't think it would be a mistake either. They could handle it. They had the means and the time. They loved each other, and discussed raising babies long before they ever got married. They could do this.
She began to nod her head. "Okay." A smile slowly graced her face as she saw the spark in Stefan's eyes. "Let's make a baby."
"Want to practice?"
She giggled and pulled him closer to her. "I don't know. I could maybe be persuaded to go another round." Stefan leaned forward to capture her lips, but just as she opened her mouth against his, there was a crashing noise from the guest bedroom. "Please don't be a wedding present," she groaned and buried her head in Stefan's neck.
Stefan sighed and slowly rubbed her back. "I'll go check on him."
"No," she stopped him when he began to roll out of bed, "I'll go see if he's okay." She climbed out of bed, shivering as the cool air hit her body. "You are going to freeze me to death one day," she griped at Stefan as she grabbed her robe from the floor and wrapped it around her body.
"You know why I like it so cold in here." He smirked and raised his eyebrows, to which she rolled her eyes.
"Well, good luck seeing my nipples through this robe." She stuck her tongue out at him and backed away from the bed. "To think I thought your brother was the one with the dirty mind in the family."
Stefan continued to smirk at her as she left the room. While it might be slightly at her expense, she was happy that he was better than he had been last night. It was why she was going to check on Damon instead of having him do it.
She knocked softly on Damon's door, but got no response. After knocking again and still hearing only silence she opened the door to find him sprawled out on the bed, the contents of the nightstand on the floor and his arm hanging to the floor. His shirt was off and his pants hung low on his hips, revealing just how pale he was, even though it was September and still warm enough to spend hours outside. She didn't think he'd seen the sun in weeks, if not months. He just looked dead. The only indication that he was, in fact, alive was the slow rise and fall of his chest.
At some point in the night he must have kicked the covers off of him because they were tangled at the end of the bed. With how cold Stefan regularly kept their apartment she knew he had to be cold, especially with the alcohol that was most likely beginning to leave his system. So, she walked over to the bed and untangled the sheets enough to pull them over Damon.
"Are you really tucking me in?" She jumped back at the sound of Damon's muffled voice. A smile graced his face as he turned his head and looked up at her. "I feel so special."
"God, you scared me," she groaned, but finished pulling the covers over him and set them down at his shoulders. "I thought you were dead to the world."
"Not yet, but there's always hope." He grimaced and grabbed his head. "God, I have an orchestra pit in my head."
"I hope you don't say things like that around your brother." Caroline sighed and shook her head. She reached over to the table by the bed, pulled out the top drawer, and retrieved a bottle of ibuprofen. "Here," she held the bottle out to him, along with the water that Stefan always left on the table for him, "Take this."
Damon gratefully grabbed the items from her and made quick work of downing four pills to try and alleviate his headache. When he finished and found her still standing next to the bed he questioned, "What's on your mind, Blondie?"
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Nothing, I just figured I'd give Stefan a break for a bit."
"Oh, you're taking shifts babysitting me now?"
Caroline rolled her eyes. "Obviously you're in a Damon mood. I'll just go back to bed now."
She was going to try to talk to Damon, hear what he had to say since he wasn't sharing anything with his brother and the only time he talked to Alaric anymore was when Alaric went along with him to the bars to try to keep him out of trouble. After he quit his job, his spiral downward had turned into a full on tailspin straight for rock bottom.
Even though they'd had their issues, she'd grown to care about him and it wasn't fun seeing him in the state he was in. She loved Elena, but it was hard to see the damage she'd done to Damon. And it was even harder to know that she couldn't even truly defend her friend. It was her natural instinct to try and fix everything and defend people, but she didn't know how to fix this, and she couldn't find a defense for Elena's behavior.
"Wait," Damon called out when she was almost to the door. "I'll play nice, I promise." He sat up in the bed and moved over so she could sit down. "Come here."
Skeptically, she walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "One asshole comment and I'll leave."
"I know I'm not the model houseguest," he admitted quietly. "I keep thinking, one night, Stefan just won't show up to come drag me home, but he keeps coming, and I keep waking up here."
"He'd never forgive himself if anything happened to you."
"But it's not his job to take care of me. I can take care of myself."
"Really?" Caroline countered. "Because that's not what I've seen this past year. You'd be dead if it wasn't for your brother." She shook her head, debating whether this was really a talk she needed to have with Damon. Stefan was oddly particular about what people could say to or about Damon. It was okay for him to say hurtful or unkind things to Damon, but nobody else got to. She still didn't even know if she was fully forgiven for giving Damon the letter from Elena. He hadn't slept in their bed for over a week after he found out. Finally, she settled for just saying what she had to say, days of withheld sex be damned. "Look, I get it more than you think. I might not have dated Elena, but she's my best friend. It kills me that I don't have her here. I know this is hard and that you're in pain, but this isn't how you fix it."
"And what would your advice be?" he questioned stonily.
"To move on?" she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know if there's any right advice or right way to handle things, but I do know this isn't how you do it. Sleeping with every girl in sight and getting so drunk you don't remember the night before isn't going to help anything. The girls aren't going to replace Elena, and the alcohol won't help you forget her. She's gone and we all have to figure out how to deal with that. God," she laughed humorlessly and brought her hand up to cover the tears shining in her eyes, "When did I get this bad at giving advice?"
"Probably about the same time I told Elena she could go fuck herself." A pained expression crossed his face and he looked away from her teary gaze. "Most days I wish I'd never met her. I spent most of my nights regretting ever leaving Katherine, because it turns out our marriage wasn't unsalvageable after all, but then I see a bartender with long, dark hair, or I catch a scent of her perfume and it all comes rushing back. Suddenly, I don't regret any of it and I miss her so much it physically hurts." He stopped to inhale a shaky breath before continuing. "Sometimes I want to go to Chicago so I can see her and touch her again, but then all I can see is walking into our room and seeing her frantically packing her bags, and I hate her all over again."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, unsure of what else she could say.
"I'm exhausted, Caroline." When he finally looked back at her and she saw the tears in his eyes, it was her moment of undoing. The tears fell freely as he admitted, "I'm so exhausted."
"It won't be like this forever." She brushed away the tears on her cheeks. "Things will get better. Stefan and I, we're here for as long as you need us. I know we haven't always gotten along, but you're my family, Damon."
"Thank you," he said, genuine sincerity in his voice. "I know it's not easy."
"Any time." She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek, brushing her hand through his hair when she pulled away. "I guess I'll leave you alone now. Try not to die in my guest bedroom. It would really ruin the appeal of the place."
He laughed quietly. "I'll do my best."
She quickly returned to her bedroom to find Stefan still lying in bed, in the same position he had been when she left. "My brother still alive?" he asked when she closed the door behind her.
"For the moment." She went to the closet and returned with a suitcase and a handful of clothes.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to see Elena," she declared simply. She and Bonnie had been to visit Elena a few times since she'd moved, but they never pushed her. They never brought up how she was really doing. They never brought up Damon. They most certainly never brought up the baby. Everyone walked on eggshells, but she was done with that. "I'll be back in a few days."
In record time, she had her bags packed and was in Chicago. Stefan had been confused and tried to ask her what had happened with Damon that had her running off to Chicago, but she'd been in too much of a hurry to really tell him anything. She could catch him up when she got back. Right now, she had a rogue best friend to deal with.
"Caroline?" was Elena's shocked response when she opened the door to her small loft apartment to find the blonde standing in her hallway, suitcase in hand. "What are you doing here?"
She pushed the door further open and breezed past Elena. "To wake your ass up." She dropped her suitcases to the floor and turned on her heel, firmly placing her hands on her hips. "You want to run away from your pain and try to fix things on your own, that's fine, I won't begrudge you that, but you damn well better do it."
"What?" Elena sputtered, eyes wide and she appeared dazed and utterly confused as to what was going on.
"You want to fix things with yourself? You fix them! I can forgive you for coming here if you actually do something with this time, but if you use these years to completely waste away and feel sorry for yourself, I will never forgive you, Elena Gilbert."
Elena remained frozen for a few moments, silent and staring at Caroline, but then her face crumbled and a strangled cry fell from her lips. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, not caring that she was in front of her wide-open front door. "Oh god."
As her best friend broke down in front of her, collapsing to the floor in tears, she finally saw the magnitude of the pain she was in, the pain she'd worked so hard to conceal and block out. "Elena," she said her friend's name softly as she slowly approached her.
"I'm so sorry," she continued to cry on the floor, her body rocking back and forth. "I thought I needed time alone, but I've only messed everything up. I ruined everything."
"Shh." Caroline dropped to her knees and gathered Elena into her arms. "You made a bad decision. You didn't ruin everything."
"I did. He hates me."
"He's upset. He doesn't hate you."
"He does. He does. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault."
"It's okay, just let it out."
Knowing anything she had to say would be futile, she simply held Elena as she continued to cry. It pained her that Elena was in such turmoil and that she likely would be for a long while. When she'd made the decision to move to Chicago, she'd made the decision to leave her entire support system. While Caroline could make these occasional trips for a few days here and there, but even if she and Bonnie traded off on visiting Elena, they couldn't be around on a consistent basis. She was all alone here, and she'd continue to be for at least another year.
She'd made this horrible decision and now she was forced to live with the consequences.
After what seemed like hours, Elena's sobs quieted to soft whimpers, until she finally grew silent, only sniffling every few minutes. "Does he ask about me?" she asked some time later.
Caroline carefully weighed her words in her mind before speaking. "Damon's not much up for talking these days."
"Is he okay?"
"He spends a lot of time at our place."
"Has he met anyone?"
Caroline wondered how much longer the questions would go on for. She could only evade the truth so much before it really came out. "Not that I've met."
"He won't answer my calls," she whispered. "I've left voicemails apologizing, crying, anything, just asking him to call me, but he never does. I doubt he even listens to them."
A part of Caroline wanted to tell her that she strongly believed he did. She'd found his phone once, a few months ago, thinking it was hers, she went to check the voicemails when she saw that there was one, but when she saw all the saved ones from Elena, she realized her mistake. She'd never told him what she'd seen, and maybe it was best to not tell Elena either. She could occasionally keep a secret or two.
"He needs time to figure everything out for himself. I think it's still too soon."
"I miss him." And with those words, she was crying all over again, and Caroline knew that there was no end in sight for her friend's tears. She'd stay here though, hold her as long as she needed, pick her up off the floor when she was done, and get her cleaned up. Then, she'd figure out where to go from there. Obviously, Elena's plans weren't working out how she'd planned, so Caroline would have to adjust those plans. If Elena had to stay here, Caroline would make sure things wouldn't stay this way for any longer.
Halfway across the country, Stefan was thinking along the same lines. Damon could not remain on this path for much longer before it caught up with him, and Stefan was going to put an end to it before it got to that point. It might end with Damon giving him a black eye, but if it got him out of whatever state he was in, he'd gladly take the punch.
When he was about to give up and go get Damon, who hadn't left bed all day, his brother finally appeared in the living room. His hair was a mess and his shirt wasn't even all the way buttoned, but he appeared coherent, a feat for most days.
"Damon," he began, before his brother had taken a full sweep of the room with his eyes, but when his name was spoken, he looked up and froze.
"What the hell is this?" he demanded.
"This can't go on anymore, Damon. You have to get it together."
Damon scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I know I'm not popular at the moment, but I expected more of a crowd when someone finally staged my intervention."
"This isn't an intervention," Giuseppe spoke up from behind the couch, a glass of bourbon in his hands. Stefan had called him shortly after Caroline ran off to Chicago, and asked his father to come over. While he and Damon still weren't talking, and Damon still wasn't working, he knew his father was the key to all of this.
"Then what is this? Cause it sure looks like an intervention to me."
"I'm worried about you," Stefan spoke up.
"So you called, dad?" Damon demanded.
"I have to do something."
Damon threw up his arms in exasperation and began walking to the door. "Screw this, I'm going home."
Stefan rushed after him, determined to not let him walk out the door. "No," he pushed his body in front of Damon and blocked him from leaving. "You can't do this anymore. You're killing yourself."
"You want to talk to me? Then you talk to me. You don't call in our asshole father." He shoved a finger in Stefan's chest. "Dick move."
"Well, I needed to do something!" Stefan yelled in Damon's face. He'd spent months telling himself that if he just waited a little longer, Damon would get better. He would begin to move on from Elena, go back to work, and figure things out. He wasn't getting better though, and he couldn't sit back and watch it anymore.
"What you need to do is get out of my face! I'm fine, Stefan. I don't need a babysitter. I don't need you trying to take care of me. Just leave me alone."
"You'd be dead right now if I wasn't here to clean up your messes! I can't do it anymore. I have a life, Damon. I'm married. Don't you see it? This isn't just about you. The choices you make affect all of us."
"Then stop hovering over me like some helicopter mom."
"God," Stefan exploded, "You don't listen! Everything isn't about you. I get it! It sucks that Elena's gone. I'm not happy with her either, but you can't keep doing this."
"Get out of my face!" Damon yelled. "I'm not afraid to hit you to get you out of my way."
"Do it!" he challenged. "Hit me!"
As Damon reared his arm back to punch Stefan, Giuseppe shouted, "Enough!" Damon froze, arm hanging in the air, but didn't turn to look at their father. "Damon, you are not going to hit your brother. Stefan, you're not going to tell Damon to hit you. Both of you shut up and get over here."
Damon didn't follow through on his punch, but as Stefan walked past him, he roughly shoved him. "Asshole."
"Damon," their father began when they were both standing in front of him, "Your brother is right. Things need to change. You're thirty years old; you don't get to spend your night blacking out in bars anymore. Stefan, your brother is an adult, if he wants to ruin his life, that's on him. Enabling him isn't going to do anything."
His brother grumbled next to him and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly aggravated with his current situation. He couldn't say that he blamed him. He'd known this wouldn't go smoothly, but he hadn't been expecting a lecture from his father as well. It felt like he was a teenager all over again and they were getting in trouble for Damon doing something and Stefan inevitably getting dragged into it because he didn't want to be left out.
"Just get to the point," Damon snapped. "I'm not interested in anything you have to say, so you might as well make it quick, before I leave."
"You have two weeks to get yourself together, and then I expect you back at the office. You'll take over your old clients again. If you can't get it together and come back to work, I will cut off your trust fund and freeze your bank accounts."
Stefan felt Damon tense next to him. "You can't do that, I'm an adult."
"I own a Forbes 500 company, I can do whatever I want. If you don't believe me, don't come to work."
"What makes you think this will help anything? I can still go out and do my job."
"That's not how this is going to be. You either completely get your act together, or you're cut off." Their father narrowed his eyes. "How long do you think you'll last in the real world without your money at your disposal?"
"So, I'll get a job somewhere else. You said it yourself, I have the experience to be hired by just about anyone."
"If you think everyone doesn't know about how you've spent this past year, you've killed a lot more brain cells with that alcohol than you thought."
"What happened to me being an adult and it being my business if I want to ruin my life?"
"It is your business," Giuseppe said easily. "But that doesn't mean I will make it easy for you."
Stefan could see the fight spill from Damon as the reality of the situation began to sink in. "Why are you doing this?"
Giuseppe stood silently for several moments, a pensive look on his face. When he spoke, his voice was soft and strained. "A parent should never have to bury their child. We've already lost your mother. Do not make me bury you next to her." He cleared his throat when he was finished, and almost instantly, Stefan could see the father he'd known for the majority of his life return. His face went blank and his posture straightened. "I'll be expecting you at work in two weeks."
The brothers stood in stunned silence as they watched Giuseppe leave without another word. Their father rarely spoke about their mother, if ever. Her death had changed the dynamic of their family forever. His father had been cold and distant, leaving Damon as the only person Stefan truly had to turn to for most things growing up. He'd been sincere today though, when he softly pled with Damon to not damage their family any further. While their relationship had always been strained on a good day, Stefan knew that their father loved him. His methods weren't good most of the time, but there was a love and desire to protect his son underneath the cold exterior. Today had proved that. It would be up to Damon if he wanted to listen.