Chapter 23
I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our life's been changed
Babe, you lost me
"We have a problem." Stefan walked into the living room, a worried expression on his face.
Damon jumped to his feet. "What?"
"There's been a wreck that has traffic completely blocked. The limo won't be here for, at least, another thirty minutes."
"What do you mean it's going to take another thirty minutes?" he demanded. "We should have left for the church ten minutes ago!"
"I know, but he's stuck. There's nothing he can do."
"We don't pay him to get stuck in traffic, Stefan!" he yelled. "I can't be late to my own wedding! She's going to think I stood her up!"
This could not be happening! Everything that could go wrong on his wedding day was going wrong. It was all Elena's fault. She screwed with everything when she showed up asking him not to get married. If he'd left well enough alone everything would be fine. Who cared if that didn't sound logical? He was going to blame her.
"Call Andie and tell her what happened. She'll understand."
He snorted at his brother's suggestion. That was not going to help anything with this situation. "She's already worried that I'm going to ditch her at the alter. Calling her to say that I'm going to be late isn't going to alleviate those fears."
"Well what else are you going to do? We don't have a car, Damon. We're stuck for the time being. End of story," Stefan told him with an exasperated sigh. They'd been going back and forth all day, and Stefan was going to lose it before long. Even the perfect Stefan could only stay calm for so long.
"You know what? You really suck as a best man."
"Maybe because I've already done this before," he threw in Damon's face. "It gets a little redundant."
Damon seethed at the mention of his wedding to Katherine. Was that really going to do anything but piss him off more? "I don't care how much Andie will hate me for ruining the pictures, I will punch you out if you don't watch it."
Stefan picked up Damon's phone and threw it at him. "Oh, just shut up and call her." He groaned, but did as Stefan said anyway. She was going to kill him.
In only a few short rings, she breathlessly answered the phone. "Please don't be a bad call."
"Well, I'm still coming to the wedding," he hedged positively. "Yay!"
As predicted, she didn't respond well to his attempt at keeping her calm. "What does that even mean?"
"It would appear there has been a wreck and our limo is a little delayed."
"Are you kidding me?" she demanded, panic edging into her voice that he was used to always being calm and positive. "Cause this is a really crappy joke, Damon. Tell me you're joking, and then apologize for being an ass."
He sighed. "I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. We're stuck here for another thirty minutes, but I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm not standing you up."
"Really? It's starting to feel like it. I'm getting a little worried here."
"Andie, I need you to listen me. Can you do that?" he asked.
"Yeah," she meekly said on the other end.
"You have nothing to worry about. I'm coming and you will see me at the end of that aisle when they open those church doors. Understand? Nothing to worry about."
"Okay, I won't worry," she promised. "Just try to hurry, because even if I don't worry, everyone else will."
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Now, go have a glass of champagne and I'll see you soon. Can you do that for me?"
"Yeah, I can do that."
"Good, I'll talk to you later."
"Bye."
He hung up the phone and looked up at his brother. "Happy?"
Stefan shrugged. "For someone who just swore to Andie that she has nothing to worry about, you look pretty worried."
Damon dropped his phone on the couch and sat back down. He could not win for losing today. If he'd known that this was how his day was going to go when he woke up, he might have stayed in bed. "I'm going to be late to my own wedding. Of course, I'm worried, but I told Andie she didn't need to worry and I meant it."
"I seem to remember you telling her that a lot this past year."
He looked up and glared at his brother. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"That she had reason to worry, and we both know it." Damon clenched his jaw. "All your talk when Elena got back was a bunch of crap. Just own it."
The news fell like a bomb over the small group in the middle of Stefan and Caroline's living room. He watched it slowly fall until it finally hit the ground and exploded, sending Elena into a state of shock. The color drained from her face as the realization set in in her eyes. She looked to Caroline, as if waiting for a denial, but when all she was met with were sympathetic eyes and the sad shaking of Caroline's head, he saw the true understanding flash in her gaze. The breaths fell from her mouth in shaky pants and her whiskey colored eyes shone brightly with tears.
A strangled sound emanated from the back of her throat before she finally stumbled back as she murmured, "I have to go to the bathroom." She turned on her heels and fled the room, leaving a confused Andie and stricken Caroline behind her.
Caroline turned her furious blue eyes on him and shoved a manicured fingernail roughly into his chest. "That was a shitty thing to do, and you know it." With that, she ran off after Elena.
"I feel like I'm missing something," Andie pondered from beside him.
Damon turned in front of her and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. "Don't worry about it." He silenced the retort on her lips with a gentle kiss. "Let's go get another drink, okay?"
Andie willingly went with him to the bar and got another glass of wine for herself, but after he had his drink securely in hand, she said, "Don't think I don't realize what you're trying to do. We'll talk about this later."
He could only roll his eyes at his girlfriend and the innate reporter inside of her. She never let anything go until she had all the information she wanted, and that was usually a lot of information.
She'd be filled with questions later tonight, but he didn't think he'd be giving her any of the answers she was truly looking for. He cared about Andie, always had and always would, but there were some things that just couldn't be shared. She didn't know about the miscarriage. When they talked about why he and Elena didn't work, he glossed over it, saying she left to go to graduate school and the relationship ended.
"You're always prying, you know that?"
She smiled and playfully shrugged her shoulders. "What can I say? It's a gift."
"It's something," he told her affectionately.
"What the hell is your problem?" Stefan stormed up to Damon, a scowl on his face.
"Brother," Damon drawled out, a grin on his face, "What ever is your problem?" Stefan grabbed Damon's arm and jerked him toward the kitchen. "Hey, this suit is expensive, be gentle," he groaned, pushing Stefan's hand away from him.
"Where the hell do you get off telling Elena that Caroline is pregnant?" Stefan demanded once they were in the kitchen, away from curious eyes and ears. "She's locked herself in the bathroom. You know Caroline wanted to be the one to tell her."
"Is that why she's been avoiding Elena for the past week?"
"I know that you're mad at her, and you want to make her miserable because she moved to Chicago, but do not drag my wife into it. You are not going to use Caroline and our child to make Elena pay."
"Oh, so protective," Damon mocked Stefan with a laugh. "I'm scared."
"Look, I get it, Elena moving back has thrown you off, but that doesn't give you free reign to do whatever you want."
"Just give it a rest, Stefan. So I upset Elena, boo freaking hoo. She made her decisions, so she can be a big girl and take her consequences."
"Do you think that's actually going to help anything? Do you really think making Elena pay and suffer is going to make you feel better? Do you think it's going to make it all not hurt so bad?"
"I'm not hurt," he snapped at his brother. He was not hurt, not anymore. "I don't give a damn about Elena. I just thought she should know what everyone was keeping from her."
"That's a lie and you know it."
"Watch it," he dangerously warned.
"You're forgetting that I've been here these past two years, and all of the things that I saw. Elena left and it sucked, I know that. And I know her being back is just bringing it all up again, but you can't revert back to what you were. Not only can I not handle that anymore, but you can't either."
"Well, I hope you're happy with yourself, cause that was a dick move, Damon." Caroline came storming into the kitchen, a scowl identical to Stefan's previous one on her face. God, they really were an old married couple.
"Not my fault that you couldn't tell your best friend that you're pregnant."
"It was not your place to tell her." Caroline shoved a finger into his chest. "You are such an asshole."
"Spare me the lecture, your husband beat you to it."
"Well, I hope you're happy. Bonnie took her home in tears. So, you can stop shoving your tongue down Andie's throat any time now."
"Oh, Elena left? How original," he deadpanned, which only earned him more glares from Stefan and Caroline. "Give it a rest you two. What did you think I was going to do? Give her a hug and tell her it was great to see her?"
"That would require us expecting some maturity on your part. So, no, we really didn't think you'd be anything resembling nice to her, but I didn't expect you to do that." Caroline rolled her eyes and shook her head. "God, Damon, I don't even think you really should be nice to Elena, but no matter what you feel about her, bringing your child into it is too low." She turned to Stefan and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth before backing toward the living room. "Aim a little higher next time."
"Those hormones are gonna be a ball," Damon said with fake enthusiasm, but at the frustrated look on Stefan's face, he sighed and took a small step toward his brother. "Look, I'm happy for you, okay? I made fun of Caroline all the time before she was pregnant, the real worry would be if I stopped."
Stefan watched his face for a moment, trying to determine if Damon was really being sincere. "You really mean that? You're really happy for me?" he finally asked.
Damon found out about Caroline's pregnancy two weeks ago, but he'd yet to have a conversation with his brother about it. What was he supposed to say? He honestly had no idea how he really felt. It had been over two years since Elena lost the baby and he forced that thought out of his head on a daily basis. The moment a memory crept into the forefront of his mind, he pushed it back out, determined to keep the pain away. It was harder now that he wasn't bathing in alcohol anymore, but it was getting easier.
Andie had helped ease some of the pain. She was a reminder of his life before Katherine or Elena existed. With her, he could almost convince himself he was still 21 and oblivious to any sort of heartache or agony in his romantic life. She represented a time when things were still simple. Reminders of Caroline being pregnant were not simple, so he'd tried not to think about that.
He couldn't very well say that to Stefan, though.
"Of course I mean it." He smiled at him. No matter what he may or may not feel about Caroline's pregnancy was not something that needed to be shared with Stefan. He'd been there for him for the past two years and he at least owed it to him to be happy for him. "Let's face it, you're much more suited for the parenting thing than I ever would be." Now, those words, he did believe.
"That's not true," Stefan scolded him.
"Now who's the liar?"
"Hey, look," Stefan hedged lightly, trying to ease into whatever he was trying to say. "I know that Elena being back is hard, but being cruel isn't going to help anything."
"I'm not being cruel. I'm only giving her what she deserves."
"And she deserved for you to tell her in the middle of a party that Caroline is pregnant?" Stefan raised an eyebrow at him in a scolding manner that only Stefan could really accomplish. "You knew that was going to hurt her, and I do understand that, I do, but that wasn't just Elena's baby. That was your child, Damon. "
He flinched at the mention of Elena's pregnancy. People rarely had the courage to bring it up around him, and for that he was grateful. "Stop it, I'm not doing this."
He turned to leave, but Stefan reached out and placed his hands on Damon's shoulders. "No, don't do that. Do not shut me out."
"I'm not having this conversation."
"Elena didn't just lose a baby, Damon. She lost your baby." Damon turned his head away, but Stefan only moved his hands up higher to turn Damon's face forward. "Think about that when you're trying to make her pay for moving."
His jaw clenched at Stefan's words, trying to remain calm, but his brother was making it hard. He didn't want to be reminded of Elena and the baby. It had been hard enough to deal with when it was actually happening, and then when she'd left, it had been like he was living in hell. Now that she was back, it was bringing so many feelings back to the surface that he'd spent many drunken nights trying to bury. They were best left dead and gone. He was done with Elena and everyone needed to let it go.
"There's nothing to think about. It's over."
"It's not over," Stefan insisted. "Maybe Elena and you dealt with things separately, although I think that's still up for debate, but you didn't deal with it together. If there's any chance of you and her being able to co-exist and really move on from this, you have to face what happened."
"I tried," he snapped, shoving a finger in his chest. "I tried and she left, but I tried."
From the moment he found out she was pregnant he tried to be there for her. He was there from day one. He'd done everything right, and she'd still left him. How could he want to do anything that would make her life easier? He wanted her to feel the pain that he'd felt. He needed it. Seeing her with Bonnie tonight, laughing and smiling like nothing was wrong, absolutely enraged him. Who was she to come waltzing back into town and act like everything was fine? Everything wasn't fine and he wasn't about to let her forget that anytime soon.
"You can't do this anymore, Damon." Stefan pulled him from his thoughts with the beginning to yet another lecture. "If you don't want to play nice for yourself, do it for me. All you're going to accomplish by acting this way is putting Caroline in the middle. She's your sister-in-law and she's pregnant."
"God, Stefan!" Damon exploded. "Why are you even doing this? You hate Elena and you know it. You won't even look at her, much less say a word to her. Yet, you're lecturing me about being nice to the little bitch?"
"I'm not saying you have to be nice. I'm saying you need to not pull stunts like you did tonight. If you can't be cordial with her then ignore her like I do. The reason I don't talk to her is because I have nothing nice to say to her, and I'm not about to put my pregnant wife in the middle of it."
"I swear, you say Caroline's pregnant more than she does right now. And she says it a lot."
"Because I don't want you to forget it. I want you to remember that she is pregnant every time you think about doing or saying something that will put her in the middle of you and Elena. As much as she was angry with Elena, she's still her best friend. She loves Elena and wants her around. Please respect that, at least until the baby is born. If you still hate her after that, do what you want, but until then, keep your thoughts to yourself."
"Whatever, Stefan. I'm going to go spend some time with my girlfriend. Have fun coddling your wife."
"I mean it, Damon," Stefan warned. "You put my wife in the middle of this one more time and we're going to have a major problem."
"Screw you and the horse you rode in on, Stefan." He walked away from his brother without another glance, annoyed and completely over Stefan's sanctimonious crap. His life was so perfect, and everyone had to know it, but he wasn't about to listen to his brother preach to him about how he should treat Elena. Stefan couldn't stand her, and they both knew that. Who did he really think he was fooling?
Alaric appeared next to Damon, offering him a drink. "I'm assuming Elena leaving in tears had something to do with you."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"What did you do? Kick her puppy?"
"No," he shrugged, "I just told her about Caroline." He said it like it was simple and small, like it hadn't been meant to specifically hurt her.
"Oh god," Alaric groaned. "Please tell me you didn't."
"I most certainly did."
"Talk about a low blow." He incredulously shook his head. "That's cold."
"Cold like her heart."
Alaric rolled his eyes. "Now you're just being a dick."
"Oh my god!" he exclaimed. "You too?" Why was he getting this reaction from everyone? "You and Stefan and Caroline, and all of you just need to get off my case. You all sound so surprised that I haven't welcomed her back with open arms, but this is kind of what I do, Ric. I'm an asshole and I do shitty things. Nothing surprising here."
"I don't think it's the fact that you were mean to Elena that has us telling you that was harsh. I think it's the fact that you used her miscarriage against her. That's messed up, even for you."
He opened his mouth with a rude retort, but before he could snap at his best friend, Andie slid up next to him and worriedly ran her hand down his back. "Hey, what's going on here? People are starting to stare."
He glared at Alaric then quickly covered it with a smile as he looked to Andie. "Nothing, babe. Ric is just mad that I stood him up last week to go to dinner with you."
Andie laughed and lightly rolled her eyes. "I'm sure he is."
"He just gets jealous, that's all." Damon flashed Alaric a cocky smile and turned his full attention to Andie. "You ready to leave? If I have to talk about Emerson or Thoreau, or one more stupid literary person for one more second, I will throw someone out the window."
"With behavior like this, no one would ever believe that you are actually well read," she teased him.
"Just because I read doesn't mean I want to talk about it."
"Whatever you say." She brushed her hands over the front of his shirt and stepped away. "If you're ready to go, let's go. I'd rather you not get charged with murder tonight." She leaned over and gave Alaric a quick hug. "Don't get too jealous, Ric. I'll send him your way sometime soon; let him annoy you for a day."
"Oh, yes!" Alaric exclaimed in feigned enthusiasm. "Please do!"
"Bye, Ric. We will not continue this conversation later."
He grabbed Andie's hand and quickly dragged her out of Stefan and Caroline's place, insisting that if they tried to say goodbye to his brother they'd only get pulled into a conversation that he didn't want to have, with people he didn't want to know. Yeah, he wasn't in a good mood, and she was starting to pick up on it by the time they were almost back to her place. "Is this about Elena?" she finally asked him.
"Is what about Elena?"
"This," she motioned to him and then shook her head. "You. Your whole attitude tonight. Is it because Elena's back?"
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Why can't I just not be in a good mood? Is it so hard to believe that work sucked today?"
Now it was Andie's turn to roll her eyes. "I've known you for ten years, Damon. Don't treat me like I'm stupid."
"What do you want me to tell you?" he questioned her with exasperation. "I'm not happy Elena's back. I'm not happy to see her. I'm most certainly not going to play nice, but my behavior tonight has nothing to do with her. I just wasn't in the mood to spend my evening with a bunch of people I don't care about."
"I swear, sometimes you're still twenty years old and pissed off at the world," she sighed. "Your life doesn't suck, Damon. Your brother is great and he loves you. You have a job that people would kill for. I like to think I'm not the worst girlfriend in the world to have, but sometimes you act like you don't care about any of it."
As Andie turned her head away from him to try and hide the emotion on her face, he immediately felt bad. She didn't deserve how he was treating her tonight. She wasn't the one that left him. All she'd ever done for him was be there when he needed her to, and taking things out on her wasn't right.
"Hey," he slid across the backseat of the taxi, grabbing her face in his hands and turning it so he could look at her, "I do care. You're the first girl I ever loved. You've stuck around even though there are far better men out there for you. I'm sorry about tonight. I'm just on edge."
She didn't push him away from her, but he could tell that she wouldn't relax in his hands either. "About Elena. You're on edge about Elena."
"Okay, yeah," he finally conceded. "She left without a warning and returned without one too. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. I'm sorry for taking it out on you."
She swallowed thickly as she looked at him, scared to ask her next question. "Should I be worried?"
"No," he answered immediately. "There is nothing to worry about with Elena. We've been apart longer than we were ever together. She's my past. You're my present. You havenothing to worry about."
"Promise?" He knew it hurt Andie to ask questions like these. She hated being vulnerable as much as he did, and being worried about another woman vying for his attention made her feel vulnerable.
"I promise," he swore to her with as much sincerity as he could find. "Elena and I, we're over." She sighed with relief at his words and it felt nice to know that he'd alleviated her fears. No matter where things went with Andie, he didn't want to hurt her. When the taxi pulled to a stop in front of her apartment, he slid out of the car and held the door open for her. "I'm pretty drained. You okay if I stay at my place tonight?"
She easily nodded her head. "Yeah, I have to be up really early for something anyway. We both know how much you hate getting woken up before it's light out."
He groaned and tugged her hips toward his. "It's inhumane and you're crazy for doing it."
"It's my job. We all have things we have to do that aren't so fun for the job that we love."
"I'll let you know if I ever figure out what that's like."
"Oh, hush." She leaned forward and silenced him with a kiss. It was soft and slow, just what he needed right now. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" she whispered against his lips.
"Sounds good. Bye."
"Bye babe."
He watched and waited until she got safely into her building without climbing back into the taxi. "Fifteen Central Park West," he said to the driver after he closed the door.
"You've got it."
He rested his head against the seat and tried to relax as the taxi drifted through New York. He'd been warned that Elena would be there tonight, but knowing he'd be faced with her and being in the same room with her were two completely different things. For so long, he'd thought about what it would be like to finally see her again. Would she look different? Would her laugh still be the same? Would she still look at him like he was the only man in the room? All of those questions and more used to run through his head more than he would have liked. Then, it was happening, and instead of observing any of those things, he just felt cold and angry.
She'd left him with no warning, only to show up on his brother's doorstep two years later. It had taken the breath right out of him when he went to the front door and saw her standing in the hallway. She'd gone still when she spotted him and the surprise had been evident on her face. He figured their first time seeing each other after so long had played differently than that in her head as well. He'd played a lot of scenarios in his head, but that had never been one of them. It was almost poetic in a way, though.
Elena returned to New York weeks after Caroline found out she was pregnant. That couldn't have been an accident. If there was some mighty being up there, it was definitely screwing with him and Elena, because he could have never dreamt of this. And he never thought he would've gotten to land such a devastating blow to her. He knew how low the revelation of Caroline's pregnancy was. It was messed up, even by his standards, but he hadn't been able to help it. She'd been standing with Caroline, smiling like nothing had ever happened, and when he heard her ask about why they moved, something snapped.
Who was she to come back after all this time? This wasn't her life anymore. They had all moved on. No one was the same as when she left. He and Caroline actually did more than tolerate each other now. She was his sister in every way that mattered. He had a girlfriend – a great one. And Stefan and Caroline were going to have a baby. If she'd been here she would've known, or at least known they were trying. She wasn't here though, and she didn't know anything.
So, he told her. He looked her dead in her eyes and gave her the single piece of news that he knew would shake her already wobbly foundation. And it had worked. Boy, had it worked. The color had drained from her like they'd literally bled her dry. It felt good. For so many months after the miscarriage she'd been void of any emotion, and watching her feel that pain felt good.
"You know what?" Damon leaned forward to address the driver. "Change of plans. Take me to Amsterdam." The driver gave him a curious look, but said nothing as he put on his blinker for the next turn.
He couldn't go home yet. After truly seeing Elena for the first time, the penthouse would hold too many bad memories. He needed a few drinks before he could face that. He wasn't going to get drunk. No, those days were pretty much over, thanks to his dad. It didn't mean he couldn't enjoy a few beverages though. He needed something to calm his nerves. So, when the driver pulled to a stop on Amsterdam, he paid the tab, and got out. He'd have to walk for a couple minutes to get to where he wanted to be, but the weather was nice enough and he could use the air.
"Long time no see," Sam, the weekend bouncer, said when Damon walked into the bar. It had been a while since he'd been here, but it still looked the exact same.
The bar was much like it usually was at eleven at night on a Saturday night. There was a thick crowd that filled most of the space, but not too crowded for him to find his way through to the bar. He spotted her from about five feet away, her dark hair pulled up in a loose ponytail, and her leg was fidgeting like always when she'd been sitting down for an extended period of time. There was an empty drink in front of her, and she motioned for the bartender to bring her another of what she was drinking.
He should have known coming to Elena's old bar would be a bad idea, but he'd just gotten so accustomed to it. When he needed to get away from the people he knew, this was the only place he could really think to go and still manage to find himself some alcohol. It felt like he could rarely go anywhere without seeing people he knew. And with the short leash his father had him on, he couldn't really afford to run into people he knew.
Mark, who was still tending the bar, even after all this time, was on duty tonight and handed Elena her drink. They talked for a few moments, before he rested a hand on her drooped head and kissed it softly, and then moved back to the other end of the bar.
"Well, isn't this a surprise," Damon taunted as he waltzed up to her. "I thought you'd be halfway back to Chicago by now."
She was quickly wiping tears from her face when he sat down next to her. "What do you want, Damon?" she asked him quietly.
"What do I want?" he repeated the question. "World peace would be nice. Maybe my own private island. I think that might be fun. I wouldn't mind a few more vacation days. Being in love with someone who doesn't walk out on me with no warning or hope for any different outcome would have been great, but oh, you're not actually granting me these wishes are you? Figures, you're not much for doing things for the people that love you. It's all about what Elena wants and what Elena needs. It's your world and we're just living in it." Her hair had fallen to cover his view of her face from him, and she made no indication that she was planning on looking at him or saying anything to him. "What's the matter, Elena? Nothing to add here?"
"Nothing I say is going to make you happy. So what's the point?"
"True, but let's still try, shall we? Come on, Elena. Hit me with your best shot."
"I don't have anything to say right now."
"Really?" he questioned disbelievingly. "Two years and hundreds of voicemails later and you have nothing to say when you finally get the chance? I'm giving you the floor here; take it."
"What do you want me to say, Damon?" she snapped, spinning around on her stool to face him. Her face was stained with tears and her eyes were red, but filled with pain that even he couldn't miss. "You made it really clear tonight how you feel about me. So tell me what I can say to change any of this, because I've got nothing."
"How convenient. Nothing is about what you amount to. You ran off to Chicago for that fancy Master's degree, only to return and find yourself sitting in a bar on a weekend, all alone. How'd that work out for you?"
"Horribly."
"If only someone would have told you beforehand how it might not have worked out. Didn't you have people in your life that cared enough to try and help you from turning your life into a giant disaster?" He snapped his fingers, and his voice turned eerily cold. "That's right, you did. I seem to remember telling you, once upon a time, that you'd be miserable and alone in Chicago. Pity you didn't listen."
"What can I say? You told me so." Her voice was quiet and dejected now, void of all will to fight. To some, it might be cruel to kick someone when they're already down, but this was Elena, and he just didn't care.
"I did. I told you, but you just couldn't listen. You needed space and time. None of that could be given to you in New York. You had to fly your ass halfway across the country just to make sure that no one would be able to bother you in your quest for utter and complete isolation from the world. You were just bound and determined to ruin your life, everyone else be damned. I'm so glad that worked out for you. I really am! It would have sucked if you came back to New York with some great life after all that effort you put into destroying it. Must be nice to achieve so much in that small period of time."
"I get it, Damon," she whispered, her head hung low again, but it didn't stop him. For the first time in two years she was really in front of him, for him to say everything he'd ever wanted to. The tears didn't matter. Her refusal to fight back didn't make a difference. Stefan's warning had no impact on him. She was here and he wasn't about to let her think that anything would ever be fine between them again.
"How does it feel, Elena? What's it like to know that your best friends in the entire world lied to your face? Bonnie and I have known Caroline is pregnant for weeks. Alaric knows. Caroline's boss knows. Her parents know. Hell, even my father knows. It seems, the only one out of the loop was you. How does it feel to know that Caroline would rather lie to you and avoid you than tell you the happiest news of her life?"
She was breathing shakily when she looked at him again. "Are you done?" She sounded exhausted and broken when she poised the question.
He smiled menacingly and shook his head. "Oh honey, I'm just getting started."
"Okay," she sighed and jumped down from the stool. "Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to go home now. I have to be up early to try and find a job. So can we just put this on hold for now? I'm sure you'll find me easily enough to continue this at a later date."
"What's wrong? Leaving so soon?"
She plastered the biggest smile he thought he'd ever see across her face, flashing teeth and all. "Yes, I am. Is that problem?"
"No, no problem," he easily shook his head. "I just think it's nice that you're still good at something."
"And what would that be?"
"Leaving, of course."
"Right," she swallowed thickly and the smile she wore was now hanging on by a thread. "See you around, Damon."
He watched her turn and flee from the bar like it was on fire. There was no doubt that he was going to catch serious hell from Caroline once Elena filled her in on this conversation. Elena had been horrible to him when she left for Chicago, but for some reason, he was the one getting lectured for not smiling and playing nice. Caroline and Stefan were all about how they were there for him as long as he needed them, but the second Elena came walking back into town, they were singing a different tune. He didn't care what they said or what they wanted. Elena hadn't abandoned them like she had done to him. This was his vengeance. They could stay out of it.
"Was that really a good idea?" Damon rolled his eyes and twisted on his stool to look at Mark, who now stood in front of him with a questioning gaze. "I get that you're mad, but that was a little cruel, don't you think?"
"What? Are you Elena's new savior now? Don't think I didn't see that moment you had when you brought her a drink."
Mark laughed like he'd been told the funniest joke known to man. "You know as well as I do that I have no feelings for Elena. She's like my sister."
"I don't know, she's pretty good at that whole damsel in distress thing. Watch yourself, it might pull you in. She's a master with those tears."
He'd gotten to know Mark fairly well over the past few years, especially after Elena was gone. This bar had been where he'd ended up many nights in a drunken stupor, only leaving with a willing female or Stefan dragging him out. So, yeah, he did know that Mark wasn't in love with Elena. He'd been with his girlfriend for over ten years, and never once looked at Elena in anything more than fondness. The truth wouldn't stop Damon from being an asshole, though.
"Look," Mark began, throwing a towel over his shoulder and leaning forward on the bar to get a better look at Damon, "I'm not going to tell you anything about Elena or how you should treat her, but I'll tell you this. Chicago wasn't easy for her, something I'm sure you're ecstatic about. However, next time you want to watch her cry, maybe you should think about asking her how Chicago was. If nothing else, it could give you some useful material, right?"
He pondered Mark's words for a moment before he motioned to his favorite bottle of scotch behind the bar. "Elena's time in Chicago could have been the worst two years of her life, for all I care. She won't find any sympathy from me." And it was true. If Elena was looking for sympathy from anyone, she'd never get it from him. That was exactly what he was going to tell her too. He jumped off the stool and ran out of the bar. Determined, he looked around to see if he could spot her, and sure enough, barely a block away, he saw her walking slowly down the street, her head hung low. He ran after her, pushing drunken idiots out of his way as he went, and when he was within hearing range, he yelled, "Hey!" She froze at the sound of his voice. "I don't know why you bothered to come back, but it's not going to work."
Slowly, she turned to face him, not even bothering to wipe the evidence of tears from her face. "Really? You're following me?"
"Yeah, we're not done here. I might have let you leave two years ago, but I have a few things to say this time and you're going to listen."
"Let me leave?" she questioned incredulously. "You threw me out."
"Cause you would have stayed otherwise?" Her mouth snapped shut at the question and they both knew that he was right. "Exactly what I thought."
"You're right, Damon. I was going to leave. Happy?"
"No," he gave a small shrug, "Not really, but my happiness doesn't matter to you anyway, so let's move on. You are the most selfish person I have ever met in my life. All you ever think about is yourself. And I'm here to tell you that that's not how it works anymore. You don't fool me now, Elena. You can't bat your eyelashes and expect me to cave like I used to. We all moved on when you left. So if you're thinking that you can just come back into everyone's lives and pick up where you left off, you have another thing coming."
"Your happiness did matter to me," she revealed quietly. "It still does."
"You're a liar," he spat. "Two years ago, I would have believed that, but not anymore. I don't believe a single word that ever came out of your mouth, and I never will again."
"I'm not lying," she insisted. "Just because I made horrible decisions, it doesn't mean I never loved you, or that I ever stopped."
"Don't say that," he warned darkly. "Don't ever say that again."
"That I love you?"
"Stop it." He backed away from her like she was on fire and she might burn him. "You don't get to say things like that. You abandoned any claim to any feelings for me the moment you decided to leave for Chicago."
"What's the matter, Damon?" she challenged, stepping toward him. "You can only use me as your punching bag when I don't talk back?"
"Oh no, you can say whatever you want, as long as it's the truth, but I know that's nothing but a lie."
"You're going to tell me that my feelings are a lie?" she questioned. "I didn't swear I was over my ex and go back to him. You did."
He furrowed his brows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"Katherine," she spat the name like it was a bad taste in her mouth. "I know about Katherine. So don't stand there and talk to me about what I don't feel, when you were obviously harboring feelings for her the entire time we were together." The words stunned him into silence. "Yeah, didn't think I knew about that, did you?"
"How do you?" He wasn't even certain if Stefan and Caroline knew. So, how did she?
She gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "One of your boxes got sent to me on accident. There was a picture of you and Katherine. I put the pieces together from there. How long did you even wait? A week, maybe? A month?"
"Don't worry, I waited a while before I went back to Katherine. Other girls, though? Not so much. The wounded, broody guy did wonders for my sex life. Thanks for that." She averted her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, don't act like such a prude, Elena. I doubt you were pining away for me every night. The guys had to be lining up outside your door."
"The damaged look isn't as attractive on girls as it is on you. Nobody wants to fix us. So, enjoy knowing that there was no line out my door." She laughed sarcastically and shook her head. "In fact, the first guy I slept with after you pulled a move from your playbook and pretty much kicked me out while I was still naked. Does that make you all tingly inside?" He had to admit he was shocked at the idea of anyone throwing Elena out while she was still naked, especially after they'd gotten a taste of what she was like in bed. "After I threw up in his bathroom, I think his exact words were that I had to be pretty screwed up in the head to still be single. So, you weren't the only one wounded after everything, okay? I wasn't exactly living it up out there."
"Is that supposed to make me feel bad? I don't feel bad for you, Elena. That's actually what I came to tell you. If you want my sympathy, you'll never get it. You'll never get my understanding, empathy, compassion, or even my support."
"I wasn't aware that I'd asked for any of it."
"Good. You shouldn't bother."
"I won't."
"So, we both understand that you won't get anything from me?"
"Couldn't be more clear," she assured him.
"Good." He turned to leave, but she called after him.
"Just one question, though. Okay?" He paused and swung back around to face her, eyebrows raised in anticipation of her question. "Did you get what you wanted tonight when you told me Caroline was pregnant? Did that make you feel good?"
"There's nothing to feel good about," he easily said. "I just thought you should know the happy news.
"That's bullshit," she sneered, but there were tears glistening in her eyes. "You said it to hurt me, and you know it."
"Did it hurt finding out that everyone lied to your face?"
"Did it feel good using our child against me?" Hearing her say the words our child to him hit hard in the gut. It had been so long since he'd heard them from her mouth, he had forgotten the powerful punch they carried. When he continued to stare at her, too paralyzed to speak, she sadly shook her head. "You win, okay? I'm a sucky person who doesn't deserve anything good. I get it. Trust me." She squeezed her eyes shut and brought her hands up to cover her face. "Can I go home now?" she whimpered from behind her makeshift shield.
"Yeah," he choked out, "I won't follow you."
She shook her head then turned and walked away from him. He could see her shoulders shaking with sobs as she went, but he couldn't make himself go after her. Years ago, nobody would have been able to stop him. Though he felt something conflicted inside of him over her tears that came from his cold delivery that Caroline was pregnant, he still had so much anger there. It was sill ready and waiting to be released, bursting under the surface. It would come up again; he knew that. Tonight couldn't erase all the pain and anger that still raged within him. She would see it again, but at least she now knew where they stood, even if he had been an ass about it. There was no going back. He'd never trust her again.