A/N: Oh your reviews really make my day, and provide me with such ideas! Thank you so much! i love reading what you think and it makes me want to update faster but sadly Finals are coming up and i have been studying my butt off, so this chapter came a little late but i hope you like :]
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
PS: THIS CHAPTER GETS A LITTLE HEATED.* ;]
We continue in Edward's POV:
I couldn't breath, my heart was beating about a million miles per hour. Maybe I hadn't have done this now, or today even. I held Bella's hand, as she watched me, I felt it. Her eyes never left my tense figure as we walked hand and hand into my living room.
"You're shaking." Bella whispered as we approached the couch, and I could only look at my feet in this state.
"I'm fine." I mumbled taking a seat on the big couch, Bella sitting close beside me.
"You can do this." Bella rubbed the back o my hand with her thumb. The small gesture sent waves of calm through out me, but were destroyed when my mother gracefully made her way into the room, my father silently following behind her.
"Edward." My father smiled, and I tried to return it the bets I could. Simply being my mother and all she noticed. She noticed just about everything. When I had a tough day at school, but still smiled when I walked through the door she would say
"Its not good to hide your emotions love."
Without me even giving her the slightest hint I wasn't feeling to hot.
"Edward?" Concern washed away my mothers smile, her green eyes sparkled with worry that made me want to break down in tears.
"Mom you know Bella." I gestured to Bella, who looked concerned as well, blushing the perfect red against her pale skin.
"Yes, I believe we have met." My mother glanced at Bella sending her a warm smile.
"Father?" I looked over to find his brown eyes worried as well. Maybe I didn't give much credit to my dad, maybe he saw more than I realized.
"No, I don't believe I have. Nice to meet you Bella." He kept his eyes on me, his eyebrow furrowing.
"What's going on?" My mother had lost her cool façade, and was now on edge. She had to know right? After all those phone calls with Alice she hadn't listened in on one? I knew she was a curious soul, not nosy or annoying just curious. It made me love her a little more I guess, but in this situation, it made me tremble with fear.
"Its okay." Bella encouraged.
"Bella's pregnant." I blurted seeming just a bit relief wash over me, but when my eyes moved to them again, they had moved an inch, still looking terrified.
"Yes. I think we know that." My father nodded towards Bella.
"We think the whole town knows by now." My mother agreed with my dad.
"I'm pregnant with Edward's child." Bella blurted loudly, blushing furiously, she hung her head. Again silence filled the room, and I hardly knew what to expect. Both my parents looked shocked, yet horrified. Especially my mother, who's eyes began to swell with tears. If anyone this would hurt her, and I hated that.
Next to the guys and Alice, my mom was someone I shared everything with and I love her more than anything I have ever loved. Watching her hurt because of me was just as bad as watching Bella hurt because of me and when I thought about it just this second. I sounded like a monster. I was horrible.
"What?" My mother let a few tears slide down her cheek, my father regaining his posture, and glaring at me, holding my mother's shoulders. He could hate me for making my mother cry.
"What did you say boy?" My father asked this time, except when he asked it was louder, and much more intimidating.
"She's pregnant with my child." I murmured loud enough for them to hear. Bella squeezed my hand as I hung my head like she had.
"No, Edward." My mom was close to sobbing.
"Edward." My father growled.
"I'm sorry." My voice was weak, and low. I tried to ignore the sting in my eyes but it wasn't possible, a tear slid down my cheek while I looked up at my mom.
"I'm so sorry." I wasn't only speaking to them, I was speaking to Bella. I had practically ruined the girls life, I had taken so much from her. I could walk away from this, she couldn't.
"Edward." Bella rubbed my hand soothingly, and when I turned to her, tears were beginning to fill her eyes.
"Bella's pregnant and we're keeping the baby." Whatever I saw in those chocolate brown eyes made me blurt it out. I hadn't even discussed that with Bella, I didn't know if she wanted to keep the baby or not, I at least thought I wanted do.
"How long were you going to wait to tell us Edward?" My dad was taking charge now, as my mother stayed silent her eyes never leaving me as she cried into my fathers arms.
"Not long." I breathed. "Bella wanted me to tell you guys from the start but.. I was a coward."
"You've been lying to me?" My mother cried, absolutely heart broken. I couldn't watch her like this.
"I'm so sorry mom." I could hear the pain in my own voice.
"I trusted you boy, I thought we taught you better than this." My father shook his head at me, the disappointment clear in his eyes.
"Edward. How could you lie?" My mom looked as if she was about to collapse in pain. Pain that I had caused.
"It was all an accident I didn't want to ma." My voice cracked at the end.
"I thought I taught you."
"You taught me well. That's why I'm going to help Bella keep this baby."
"You're a teenager you knows nothing about babies!"
"I know, but I know about Bella."
"Know what?!"
"I love her!" I blurted in a yell, and the room went absolutely silent. I tensed and I could suddenly feel Bella's breathing hitch. I was making mistake after mistake. My eyes widened along with my mothers when I let those three words some how slip out. I could hear the rain pounding on the roof the room had gone deadly silent. My mother watched me her eyes softening just the slightest, while my father just stood in shock. I didn't even want to look towards Bella, who's reaction meant the most.
"Boy, you know nothing about love." My father spat. I bowed my head, not even trying to argue anymore. Maybe I didn't know about love? Maybe the racing of my heart when Bella just looks at me is a horrible disease with out a cure.
"Getting a girl pregnant doesn't show that." My father continued while my mother watched me carefully.
"I know." I mumbled.
"You don't know how bad this is going to hurt both of you. You think you're in love? Its only been a few months hasn't it? You think she's the one for you because you got the young lady pregnant? That's not how it works Edward. And I thought we taught you better than that, I thought we raised you to be a gentleman. I don't even know who you are." My fathers words hurt right to the core, my eyes stung with tears I wish I could have held back.
"I know." I murmured, my voice cracking. "Dad I'm so sorry."
"I know. I know you are, I know you wouldn't have done anything to hurt your mother. But sadly you did." My father's voice had softened just a little bit, but I hadn't put my head up to look him in the eyes.
"Take the young lady home. And we'll talk about this tomorrow." My father murmured and a sob escaped my mothers lips making me flinch, and I turned to Bella, who too had tears in her eyes.
"Lets go." I mouthed, while a single tear fell from my eye. I couldn't watch this, I couldn't listen to my mom cry like this. And I couldn't just stand around like I didn't do anything.
The ride home was silent.
Once in a while Bella would sniff, and I would cough. No talk. Just thick silence in the air.
"I'm sorry." Bella finally spoke when I stopped the car in front of Alice's house.
"No, Bella. I'm sorry." I sighed running a hand through my hair. "You didn't have-"I cut Bella off.
"Look what I did to you? Do you see how idiotic I am? I ruined everything a lot of things for you. I took away so much and all I can say is sorry. I'm so pathetic Bella, its sad. My mom-" I paused, looking out the window. I felt the lump in my throat.
"I understand now, why you hated me. I can see why you avoided me. I just wish at the carnival my approach would be 'so tell me about yourself Bella'. Instead of 'lets get some cotton candy Bella.' You were just so appealing, so interesting. couldn't understand why I felt so strongly connected to you so I did you like I did any other girl. You didn't deserve that at all. Even though I told you in the gym the other day that I was sorry. I feel like you need to hear it just a few times more. -"
This time she cut me off. I heard her undo her seatbelt but didn't force my eyes to see what she was doing, but I took a good guess that she was leaving like she should. Realizing the idiot I truly am. But when I heard her moving around instead of getting out, I turned my head in her direction. She was scooting closer to me.
"What are you doing?" I watched her get closer to me, struggling a bit.
"Can you help me out?" She reached her arms out to me, and I did as she asked. I took her by her waist and slid her into my lap as she wished. She sighed in content when she was rested in my lap.
"What does this have to do with anything." I looked at her head curiously as her eyes looked out the windshield. The rain pouring down making everything blurry and fogged.
"Edward. This is all I need." She rested her head on my shoulder.
"But Bella-"
"Edward please. Just let me." She twisted her self around so she was facing me. Those soft full lips just inches from mine.
"Let you what?" I breathed.
"Let me be with you. No sorry's included."
"Anything Bella."
Her breathing hitched, and my hands rested on her waist.
"Edward?" She breathed.
"Yes."
"Kiss me."
I crushed my lips against hers, soon as soon as she said it, and as always when my lips moved with hers, the world was gone, and life was just about Bella and I.
I had no troubles, I had no doubts, all I had was Bella. Forever and always. Like it should be.
I let my hands roam around her body, and she eagerly let the kiss go further, pushing her tongue in my mouth, making me hold her closer to me. Every inch of her body was pressed against mine, and I couldn't help myself when I let my hand sneak under her shirt, rubbing against her smooth skin. She let out a soft moan, encouraging me to go further, and with that I did.
I returned her heated kiss, our tongues battling for dominance, as she grinded against me, my hips pushing up towards her. I broke the kiss so we could breathe but sucked behind her ear, earning a loud sexy moan from her lips.
"Edward." She gasped moving her hands frantically to my belt, while my hands found the button to her jeans. Our breathing was loud and heavy as we both removed our clothes, once I slid her pants off, I reached to lift her shirt over head but she stopped me with her hands.
"What?" I searched her expression.
"I'm fat." She whispered, her voice sad.
"No you're not." I shook my head.
"I'm pregnant Edward." She rolled her eyes.
"You can hardly even tell."
"Yes you can look at that." She lifted her shirt just the slightest, and you could hardly see a baby bump appearing. She just looked a bit bloated in my opinion.
"Edwar-"
"Bella you look beautiful to me no matter what. You could stop right now and leave with this massive erection and I would still think you were the most beautiful thing in the world."
Her cheeks flushed a brilliant red, and she leaned down to brush her lips against mine softly.
"I wont be doing that." She whispered in my ear, and I shivered when her breathing became heavy in my ear. I went back to pushing her shirt over her head and she let me with out another word.
I caressed the skin my hands glided over as I reached for her bra and unhooked it, throwing it to the side. Once her breasts sprung out, my tongue began to trace over her light nipples, that were already hard.
"Edward." She moaned my name, and I felt blessed. My tongue worked against her breast, caressing the other with my hand, as she rested her hands behind me on the head rest. She grinded against me again.
"Mmm." I moaned, gently biting her nipple.
"Edward!" She cried. I began to suck the skin around her nipple, listening to her breathing become heavier and heavier.
"I'm… so ….. Wet." She breathed, and I groaned. "Your pants… off."
She pulled herself away from me and climbed into the back seat laying her back, and I watched through the mirror, as she slid her underwear off aching slow before throwing them over to me. I quickly got rid of my clothing, and realized Bella was watching me when she let out a loud moan. I climbed into the back seat, hovering over her. She reached up to crash her lips against mine.
"Are you sure?" I breathed heavy, when we broke our kiss.
"Please Edward." She whimpered. "I need you."
"Bella." I moaned, entering her slowly, and I watched her face scrunch up.
"Edward!" She cried out. Being inside her was even better than I had remembered it to be, she was just so gentle and small. I began to thrust faster into her, but still containing a slow pace, our eyes never leaving each other. Her moans building and building while my grunts became louder and louder.
"Harder Edward harder!" She pushed up to meet my thrust, and I did as she asked and began to thrust into her faster, leaning over to suck gently on her breast, my hands holding her hips. She ran her hands through my hair, panting my name as I worked over her.
"Ah!" She screamed when I pushed in deeper.
"Bella." I kissed down her jaw, and sucked at her neck. Nothing else mattered, it was just the soft moans escaping her lips and the ecstasy that came along with each thrust. It was just her and I, nothing else could possibly matter. She returned my kisses, giving me soft pecks along my shoulder, sucking at the skin behind my ear.
"Bella!" I groaned and she screamed out nothing but nonsense in my ear as the ecstasy became more intense, as if it felt so good I couldn't breath and neither could she.
"Oh yes!" She panted, kissing my neck, and the thrust became quicker and quicker. It must have been hours of sweet pleasure and quick thrust, when we both finally came to our climax.
"Edward! I love you!" She screamed out arching her back, and shuddering as she came.
"Bella!" I came inside her, shuddering as her hands ran up and down my back.
"I love you too." I whispered kissing her lips softly.
"And all I want and need is you." She murmured tears flowing from her eyes and down the side of her face as she laid beneath me.
"And thats what you'll have." I kissed a tear away, as a tear of my own fell from my eye and right on her cheek.
"I love you." She cried putting her face in the crook of my neck. Her words made my heart soar, and I could almost fill the happiness glowing from me.
"I love you too Bella." I brushed my lips against her ear. This was suppose to be our first time, I would not allow the carnival to be our first time. I would do anything to keep Bella smiling, and I would do anything to keep my child safe. I would let her regret loving me and I would do all in my power to make all of this work.
Bella'sPOV:
I stumbled into the dark house, it was around 3:00am according to Edward's car. I was on a high, but I hadn't known till a few hours ago that I was insanely in love with Edward, and life with out him just wasn't worth living, so you cant blame me.
You couldn't blame me for the watery smile that was across my face or the want to run back into Edward's car and sleep under him forever. You could blame love though. I would let love take all of the blame if it wanted to.
Bella,
Now that's what teenagers do!
Round of applause for Isabella Swan, who finally found her inner teenager, and has quit living life as a middle aged woman.
Love,
Teenager Association.
"Bella?" Alice said groggily lifting her head off the couch, where she was wrapped up in multiple covers, probably waiting for me to get home. I was soon attacked with guilt.
"Oh Alice, you shouldn't have waited up." I frowned, making my way over to the couch.
"Belly, I was worried." She yawned. "I called your cell phone, but no answer."
"I was with Edward." I sighed, smiling just a bit.
"What happened with his parents?" Alice sat up on the couch, patting the space next to her so I could sit.
"Their really angry." I breathed, remembering Edward's mom's face when the news hit her. It was like making an angel cry, it was heartbreaking to see her in such pain. Even more agonizing to hear her cry because she felt her son had betrayed her by lying. I shuddered at the memory.
"What did they do to Edward?" Alice looked horrified.
"Nothing. .yet, his father didn't want to discuss it while I was there. But his mother-" I looked at Alice was listening curiously, looking wide awake now.
"His mom was so hurt Alice. If you had seen it you would have cried along with her."
"I'm sorry Bells." Alice patted my arm. "Why'd you get in so late though?"
"I was with Edward in the car." I murmured quickly.
"Doing?" Alice pushed.
"We had sex again Ally." I breathed, and heard her gasp.
"But it wasn't like the carnival." I let my mind fill with the memories, from then and the memories we made tonight. Both were wonderful but both so incredibly different.
"He told me he loves me Alice."
"Oh my goodness." Alice squealed quietly.
"I love him too." I whispered. "It scares me."
"Don't be, you two belong together."
"You think?"
"I know."
Alice gently wrapped her arms around me, and reached up to kiss my forehead, as I rested in her arms, dazing off into day dreams.
"You deserve someone like him. He's a good guy Bells."
Alice's words shocked me. Her support touched my soul and I thanked god one more time for letting me keep her forever.
"Remember that time I asked you if you liked Edward?" Alice's voice had gotten a little higher.
"And you started to cry?" I asked remembering the pain in her deep blue eyes.
"Yeah." She sniffed and even though I wasn't looking at her I could hear the tears in her voice.
"I was asking because sometimes compare you to my mom, she was pregnant at nineteen and, I-" She paused and I waited patiently for her to finish.
"Edward to my dad." She cried. "I asked if you liked Edward because I was hoping things would turn out differently for you two then it did for my mom and dad."
"I know I don't show it but not having a dad hurts, especially as a child and I never want my child to hurt like that, I don't want my niece hurting like that. No body should hurt like to think they aren't good enough, or never will be."
"Bella it hurt me bad when my dad left. But I kept a smile on my face for my mom, for you and for my dad." She paused again this time letting out a soft sob.
"You weren't there Bella, but I begged him Bells. I begged him, I was on my knees at only six years old begging my father to stay with us, and he didn't"
I remember that sadness that was set on Alice's face that year, only because it was so hard to forget and probably the saddest I have ever seen her. I remember asking her
"What wrong cookie?" and her sadness suddenly turned into curiosity. She answered my question with another question.
"Is your daddy going on a trip?"
"No." I answered confused looking at her like she was crazy.
"Mommy says, sometimes daddy's take trips far away, and don't come back for a very long time." She had whispered, never once looking me in the eye. Her dark blue eyed stayed on the ground.
"Is that where your daddy is going?" I asked poking her arm lightly.
"Yeah momma said he wont be back soon. I told him I didn't want him to go….. But he still went." She frowned.
"Don't worry Mary Alice, he'll come back, its just a trip." I was so sure of my words.
"Yeah?" Her eyes sparkled at the idea.
"Yeah, and for now we can share my daddy. He wont mind." I smiled at her, and she hugged me tightly.
"Maybe things would have been different if he stayed with me. If he had stayed to love me" Alice continued crying and I joined in with her. She spoke so softly.
"I wish he would have stayed till this day, so I could love him more, so I could show him what I have grown up to be. To be able to cry to him."
"It scared me watching you and Edward fight like that. It brought back a lot of memories. Things I had promised myself I wouldn't think about or blame myself for." Alice was sobbing quietly and I had straighten up to wrap my arms around her, so she was now laying in my arms crying into my chest.
"I know Alice. He would be so proud of you, and I know he calls because he misses you and no doubt loves you, its impossible not to." I rubbed her back, and she laughed lightly.
"And on top of that, I don't love Tommy." She sobbed into my arm. Her words shocked me but I kept a smooth face and continued comforting her. After all the past 3 months she spent comforting me, I hadn't let her vent once.
"I know." I surprised myself. Had I really known?
"I know he loves me. But I cant love him. I lied to him. God I'm horrible." She sobbed.
"Its going to be alright Alice, I promise." I whispered into her hair. I let her cry to me till we both fell asleep on the couch.
"I promise Ally." Was the last thing I murmured before sleep washed over me.
So what do you think? This is just the start of so much! what do you think about all the emotion in this chapter? i cried while writing the whole Alice part. Maybe its all the stress getting to me lol. So tell me what you think?? :]