AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to the memory of Ray Charles.
NINE
"Buster's father's here, Mother," one of the nuns told Mother Stigmata.
"Send him in," she said. Buster's father, a clean-cut man casually dressed, entered. "Thank you for calling, Mother Stigmata," he said, shaking her hand, "What's this I've heard about Buster?"
"I'm sorry to tell you Jack that he was abducted a few weeks ago," Mother Stigmata told him, "We're working to get him back for you, but the police are uncooperative so far."
"Well not anymore," came Mercer's voice. He strode boldly into Mother Stigmata's office with Daniel, Mount, Suntzman, Marvin, Lieutenant Eliozar, and the evil police Cabel left behind by the split in tow. "Hi, Burton Mercer, candidate for governor, time to make a change in Illinois...."
"I know who you are," Mother Stigmata said dryly. She glared over at Marvin. "Guns are not allowed in this hospital," she told him sternly.
"This'll only take a minute," Marvin said, "We just heard that Elwood Blues was here, and since he and the child were together the last time..."
"Who's Elwood Blues?" Buster's father stepped toward him, "I'm his real father, Jack Lancaster's the name, and if you can help..."
"We'd be glad to help," Suntzman said, "This Elwood Blues character is a public enemy number one. He kidnapped your son last time, and we're willing to bet he's done it again."
"Elwood didn't kidnap him this time, it was Tyrone Terrell," Mother Stigmata informed them, "I told you all that when I called it in."
"Right," Mercer leaned over her desk "We have reliable sources that say Elwood was here yesterday. "Did he happen to say where he was going?"
"No," Mother Stigmata told him, "I just told him about Buster and he left, so I couldn't tell you anything."
"You sure about that?" Mercer dug out five hundred more dollars and placed it on her desk. Mother Stigmata threw it back in his face. "No!" she bellowed, "I do not take dirty money!"
"It's not dirty, I always iron my cash..." Mercer started to say.
"Mr. Mercer," Daniel pulled him back. He told Mother Stigmata, "Madam, we want to see the child home safely like you do. But we can only find him if you help us."
"I've already told you all I know, and if you try and force more out of me, you will regret it dearly, officer!" Mother Stigmata grabbed hold of her ruler and wielded it around wildly enough to make all the cops take several steps backward. Except for the evil Cabel. He strode forward and slammed both hands down on the desk. "I don't like the way you're talking to me," he said coldly, "We can bust you up for being insolent to an officer of the law. The fact that you wear holy garb means nothing to me."
Mother Stigmata whacked him on the shoulder. "Don't get arrogant with me!" she barked, "Elwood Blues may not be the most moral man in America, but you and your associates here are no better!"
Evil Cabel raised his arm to strike her, but Lieutenant Eliozar grabbed him before he could. "Commander, it wouldn't be worth it," she told him. Evil Cabel growled but backed off.
"Now get out of my sight, all of you!" Mother Stigmata pushed the officers forcefully out the door.
"You sure you won't consider..." Mercer started.
"No!" Mother Stigmata slammed the door behind him. "Now Jack, I believe..." she turned back to Buster's father, only to find he'd left with the others.
"How much further?" Elwood asked Keith.
"Only about eight miles," Keith told him. He was petting Armstrong behind the ears, "You can't miss the place. It's the biggest house in Chicago."
"That was the kind of place Tony was always talking about living in," Jake said, "It's the kind of place I always dreamed of Elwood and me living once the band took off."
"How do you know, Jake?" Elwood asked.
"In heaven, you get free viewings of anywhere on this planet," Jake explained.
"So are you really Joliet Jake Blues?" Keith had to know.
"That's me," Jake lowered his shades and showed him the Light of God in his eyes. Keith was amazed. "So you talked about a real mission from God," he went on, "What does this entail?"
"We save the world," Elwood said, "You said you had some ideas for us?"
"Yeah, well, first I think you guys should make your entrances more dramatic," Keith said, "It was great at the Palace Hotel Ballroom when you had the band build to a crescendo, and then you came out and did your unlocking the briefcase bit and..."
"Wait, how would you know about the Palace Hotel Ballroom gig?" Elwood asked, "You weren't born when we did that."
"I've got it on tape from e-bay from someone who was there," Keith told him.
"What's e-bay?" Elwood had never heard of the Internet before.
"I guess I'll have to show you someday, but it's with computers and you can do pretty much anything," Keith said.
"Keith's the biggest collector of your memorabilia in the Tri-State area," Jennifer told the musicians, "You should just see his room; it's wall-to-wall with you guys."
"Well I can see about the briefcase and the band, that probably would be good," Elwood admitted.
"I think in order to make it more accessible to the modern viewers, you'll need to add some big pyrotechnics, maybe smoke and fireworks..." Keith went on.
"Hold it, hold it," Elwood held up his hand, "We don't got the technical capacity for all that stuff."
"You don't, but I know some friends who do," Keith said with a smile, "We'll just book them to come along and help you guys set up before the show."
"I guess that'll work, Elwood," Jake said to his brother. "How 'bout you, Rock?" Elwood said to his partner. Rocky nodded silently.
"Next, I think you should have the band wear those blue suits they wore during the Battle of the Bands last time out," Keith suggested, "Since your playing blues music and that was popular in nightclubs in the 40s, you should look as formal as possible, I think."
"I'll buy that," Elwood said. "Anything else?"
"Like I was saying, maybe you could update your collection with some modern hits, but make sure it's connected to the blues background a little, maybe some Bruce Springsteen, Bob Seger, Neil Diamond, the Eagles..."
"Hold up again," Elwood interrupted, "I never heard of half these people."
"I can teach you," Keith said, "Turn left here, and we're just about there."
"Kid," Rocky cut in, "May I remind you that we—they—made a living singing rhythm and blues music."
"I don't mean completely redo the act," Keith protested, "I mean just throw one in once in a while."
"Elwood?" Rocky looked at him. Elwood shrugged. "We could give it a try during the next show," he said, "Just to see how it works."
"And there's the place," Keith pointed to a very large white marble mansion atop a hill ahead of them. "Nice," Elwood said.
A few moments later, the party climbed through Keith's bedroom window. Elwood was surprised by the wealth of his and Jake's careers that were represented in there. Posters of the two of them adorned every wall, tapes labeled BLUES BROTHERS were strewn everywhere, and a full suit was hanging by the closet. "Wow, when you said you were our biggest fan, you sure weren't jokin'!" he exclaimed, "What got ya hooked on us?"
"I saw the videotape of the Palace Hotel Ballroom show from one of my father's friends and became a fan for life," Keith explained, "When I got older I started interviewing all the people I could who knew you. I even got through to your guardian Curtis before he died. I'm hooked up online to several of the orphans you helped back in 1980, and if you need safe houses on this mission, I think I can get in touch with several of them who might want to help you.
"Amazing," Elwood looked over the paraphernalia, impressed.
"You see Elwood, you're not as washed up as you think," Keith told him, "People do love your music; there's several chat rooms out there dedicated to you. "You're just waiting to be discov..."
Just then the door slammed open and a man entered, looking really mad. Elwood recognized it as Tony Danson, even after all these years later. Tony, however, didn't seem to notice him at first. He rounded on his son. "So, you snuck out yet again!" he snapped, "I'm getting sick and tired of this! Your teachers have complained for no end, and...."
"Look dad, I said I hated going there!" Keith protested back, "You can't just infringe on my life!"
"Well you're going to run this company some day, like it or not, and..." it was then that Tony noticed the Blues Brothers. He grinned with an edge of superiority. "Elwood Delaney," he said smarmily, "Fancy seeing you again."
"That's Blues," Elwood corrected him.
"You haven't changed a bit," Tony went on, 'the same terrible clothes, the same dangerous look, the same..." he noticed Jake. "And I see you haven't let Jake go, even though he died in prison years ago." he continued, "Boy did he ever corrupt you."
"You're no angel either, Tony," Jake said, "If I heard you wife correctly at last month's All-Heaven Feast Day of St. Michael Archangel Picnic, you slept around with numerous people after you married her."
"How dare you!" Tony shouted, "Nobody insults me like that with slander! If you...!" he now turned to Rocky. "I know you," he said, "I saw on the news, you're the rapist and murderer that broke out." He turned back to Elwood. "You keep great company, Elwood," he said, "I'm turning you all in."
"Mr. Danson, please, we didn't mean any..." Jennifer tried to stop him.
"You stay out of this!" Tony snapped. He turned back to Keith. "I thought I told you to break up with...!"
"DOWN!" Jake somehow threw everybody to the ground as another inferno rod blast tore into the doorframe. Seconds later the Nazis appeared again. "Give up, Blues, there's no more running!" the Head Nazi snarled.
"It ain't over till we say it is!" Jake fired blasts of holy energy at them, destroying some valuable paintings. "My Van Dycks!" Tony screamed at the wreck of his masterpieces.
"Out of my way, mortal!" the Head Nazi shoved him aside and stormed toward the Brothers. As he did, he crossed a beam of moonlight shining in through a window and became completely skeletal. Everyone gasped. "He's just like the Pirates of the Mediterranean!" Elwood said.
"Pirates of the Caribbean, Elwood." Keith corrected him.
"Whatever."
"And it means I'm completely unstoppable!" The Head Nazi took aim at them and fired. Jake generated another invisible force field to stop it, then took a deep breath and froze the Head Nazi in ice. Noticing the other Nazis were about to zap Tony, he also froze them up, inadvertently taking Tony with them. "Whoops," he said, "Oh well, he'll be fine in the morning. Come on, let us take our leave of this place of money worship."
NINE
"Buster's father's here, Mother," one of the nuns told Mother Stigmata.
"Send him in," she said. Buster's father, a clean-cut man casually dressed, entered. "Thank you for calling, Mother Stigmata," he said, shaking her hand, "What's this I've heard about Buster?"
"I'm sorry to tell you Jack that he was abducted a few weeks ago," Mother Stigmata told him, "We're working to get him back for you, but the police are uncooperative so far."
"Well not anymore," came Mercer's voice. He strode boldly into Mother Stigmata's office with Daniel, Mount, Suntzman, Marvin, Lieutenant Eliozar, and the evil police Cabel left behind by the split in tow. "Hi, Burton Mercer, candidate for governor, time to make a change in Illinois...."
"I know who you are," Mother Stigmata said dryly. She glared over at Marvin. "Guns are not allowed in this hospital," she told him sternly.
"This'll only take a minute," Marvin said, "We just heard that Elwood Blues was here, and since he and the child were together the last time..."
"Who's Elwood Blues?" Buster's father stepped toward him, "I'm his real father, Jack Lancaster's the name, and if you can help..."
"We'd be glad to help," Suntzman said, "This Elwood Blues character is a public enemy number one. He kidnapped your son last time, and we're willing to bet he's done it again."
"Elwood didn't kidnap him this time, it was Tyrone Terrell," Mother Stigmata informed them, "I told you all that when I called it in."
"Right," Mercer leaned over her desk "We have reliable sources that say Elwood was here yesterday. "Did he happen to say where he was going?"
"No," Mother Stigmata told him, "I just told him about Buster and he left, so I couldn't tell you anything."
"You sure about that?" Mercer dug out five hundred more dollars and placed it on her desk. Mother Stigmata threw it back in his face. "No!" she bellowed, "I do not take dirty money!"
"It's not dirty, I always iron my cash..." Mercer started to say.
"Mr. Mercer," Daniel pulled him back. He told Mother Stigmata, "Madam, we want to see the child home safely like you do. But we can only find him if you help us."
"I've already told you all I know, and if you try and force more out of me, you will regret it dearly, officer!" Mother Stigmata grabbed hold of her ruler and wielded it around wildly enough to make all the cops take several steps backward. Except for the evil Cabel. He strode forward and slammed both hands down on the desk. "I don't like the way you're talking to me," he said coldly, "We can bust you up for being insolent to an officer of the law. The fact that you wear holy garb means nothing to me."
Mother Stigmata whacked him on the shoulder. "Don't get arrogant with me!" she barked, "Elwood Blues may not be the most moral man in America, but you and your associates here are no better!"
Evil Cabel raised his arm to strike her, but Lieutenant Eliozar grabbed him before he could. "Commander, it wouldn't be worth it," she told him. Evil Cabel growled but backed off.
"Now get out of my sight, all of you!" Mother Stigmata pushed the officers forcefully out the door.
"You sure you won't consider..." Mercer started.
"No!" Mother Stigmata slammed the door behind him. "Now Jack, I believe..." she turned back to Buster's father, only to find he'd left with the others.
"How much further?" Elwood asked Keith.
"Only about eight miles," Keith told him. He was petting Armstrong behind the ears, "You can't miss the place. It's the biggest house in Chicago."
"That was the kind of place Tony was always talking about living in," Jake said, "It's the kind of place I always dreamed of Elwood and me living once the band took off."
"How do you know, Jake?" Elwood asked.
"In heaven, you get free viewings of anywhere on this planet," Jake explained.
"So are you really Joliet Jake Blues?" Keith had to know.
"That's me," Jake lowered his shades and showed him the Light of God in his eyes. Keith was amazed. "So you talked about a real mission from God," he went on, "What does this entail?"
"We save the world," Elwood said, "You said you had some ideas for us?"
"Yeah, well, first I think you guys should make your entrances more dramatic," Keith said, "It was great at the Palace Hotel Ballroom when you had the band build to a crescendo, and then you came out and did your unlocking the briefcase bit and..."
"Wait, how would you know about the Palace Hotel Ballroom gig?" Elwood asked, "You weren't born when we did that."
"I've got it on tape from e-bay from someone who was there," Keith told him.
"What's e-bay?" Elwood had never heard of the Internet before.
"I guess I'll have to show you someday, but it's with computers and you can do pretty much anything," Keith said.
"Keith's the biggest collector of your memorabilia in the Tri-State area," Jennifer told the musicians, "You should just see his room; it's wall-to-wall with you guys."
"Well I can see about the briefcase and the band, that probably would be good," Elwood admitted.
"I think in order to make it more accessible to the modern viewers, you'll need to add some big pyrotechnics, maybe smoke and fireworks..." Keith went on.
"Hold it, hold it," Elwood held up his hand, "We don't got the technical capacity for all that stuff."
"You don't, but I know some friends who do," Keith said with a smile, "We'll just book them to come along and help you guys set up before the show."
"I guess that'll work, Elwood," Jake said to his brother. "How 'bout you, Rock?" Elwood said to his partner. Rocky nodded silently.
"Next, I think you should have the band wear those blue suits they wore during the Battle of the Bands last time out," Keith suggested, "Since your playing blues music and that was popular in nightclubs in the 40s, you should look as formal as possible, I think."
"I'll buy that," Elwood said. "Anything else?"
"Like I was saying, maybe you could update your collection with some modern hits, but make sure it's connected to the blues background a little, maybe some Bruce Springsteen, Bob Seger, Neil Diamond, the Eagles..."
"Hold up again," Elwood interrupted, "I never heard of half these people."
"I can teach you," Keith said, "Turn left here, and we're just about there."
"Kid," Rocky cut in, "May I remind you that we—they—made a living singing rhythm and blues music."
"I don't mean completely redo the act," Keith protested, "I mean just throw one in once in a while."
"Elwood?" Rocky looked at him. Elwood shrugged. "We could give it a try during the next show," he said, "Just to see how it works."
"And there's the place," Keith pointed to a very large white marble mansion atop a hill ahead of them. "Nice," Elwood said.
A few moments later, the party climbed through Keith's bedroom window. Elwood was surprised by the wealth of his and Jake's careers that were represented in there. Posters of the two of them adorned every wall, tapes labeled BLUES BROTHERS were strewn everywhere, and a full suit was hanging by the closet. "Wow, when you said you were our biggest fan, you sure weren't jokin'!" he exclaimed, "What got ya hooked on us?"
"I saw the videotape of the Palace Hotel Ballroom show from one of my father's friends and became a fan for life," Keith explained, "When I got older I started interviewing all the people I could who knew you. I even got through to your guardian Curtis before he died. I'm hooked up online to several of the orphans you helped back in 1980, and if you need safe houses on this mission, I think I can get in touch with several of them who might want to help you.
"Amazing," Elwood looked over the paraphernalia, impressed.
"You see Elwood, you're not as washed up as you think," Keith told him, "People do love your music; there's several chat rooms out there dedicated to you. "You're just waiting to be discov..."
Just then the door slammed open and a man entered, looking really mad. Elwood recognized it as Tony Danson, even after all these years later. Tony, however, didn't seem to notice him at first. He rounded on his son. "So, you snuck out yet again!" he snapped, "I'm getting sick and tired of this! Your teachers have complained for no end, and...."
"Look dad, I said I hated going there!" Keith protested back, "You can't just infringe on my life!"
"Well you're going to run this company some day, like it or not, and..." it was then that Tony noticed the Blues Brothers. He grinned with an edge of superiority. "Elwood Delaney," he said smarmily, "Fancy seeing you again."
"That's Blues," Elwood corrected him.
"You haven't changed a bit," Tony went on, 'the same terrible clothes, the same dangerous look, the same..." he noticed Jake. "And I see you haven't let Jake go, even though he died in prison years ago." he continued, "Boy did he ever corrupt you."
"You're no angel either, Tony," Jake said, "If I heard you wife correctly at last month's All-Heaven Feast Day of St. Michael Archangel Picnic, you slept around with numerous people after you married her."
"How dare you!" Tony shouted, "Nobody insults me like that with slander! If you...!" he now turned to Rocky. "I know you," he said, "I saw on the news, you're the rapist and murderer that broke out." He turned back to Elwood. "You keep great company, Elwood," he said, "I'm turning you all in."
"Mr. Danson, please, we didn't mean any..." Jennifer tried to stop him.
"You stay out of this!" Tony snapped. He turned back to Keith. "I thought I told you to break up with...!"
"DOWN!" Jake somehow threw everybody to the ground as another inferno rod blast tore into the doorframe. Seconds later the Nazis appeared again. "Give up, Blues, there's no more running!" the Head Nazi snarled.
"It ain't over till we say it is!" Jake fired blasts of holy energy at them, destroying some valuable paintings. "My Van Dycks!" Tony screamed at the wreck of his masterpieces.
"Out of my way, mortal!" the Head Nazi shoved him aside and stormed toward the Brothers. As he did, he crossed a beam of moonlight shining in through a window and became completely skeletal. Everyone gasped. "He's just like the Pirates of the Mediterranean!" Elwood said.
"Pirates of the Caribbean, Elwood." Keith corrected him.
"Whatever."
"And it means I'm completely unstoppable!" The Head Nazi took aim at them and fired. Jake generated another invisible force field to stop it, then took a deep breath and froze the Head Nazi in ice. Noticing the other Nazis were about to zap Tony, he also froze them up, inadvertently taking Tony with them. "Whoops," he said, "Oh well, he'll be fine in the morning. Come on, let us take our leave of this place of money worship."