Guilt
"Kat, I'm sorry."
Kat looks up, startled and confused by the admission. She has been working with Doggie on the OS for a good hour and a half in complete silence. "What?—what's going on, Doggie, you haven't said anything for hours and now this?"
"If I hadn't have been so stubborn you wouldn't have been involved in today's mess," Cruger keeps his head down, shaking it as he berates himself. "You could have been hurt today—you could have been..."
"Doggie," Kat starts in her rich, beautiful voice. "You saved me today, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm glad you got to use the shadow morpher and I'm glad you got to face Benaag."
Cruger looks down again, feeling guilt for another reason. When he found out Isinia isn't gone, he couldn't help but feel relief. Still, the relief was a double edged sword. While he feels guilty for loving Kat, he also feels guilty for still loving Isinia. He's a good man, he didn't think he would ever love two women at once. In a way, it's one woman and the memory of another, but he doesn't know what to do about it.
"Doggie, there's nothing to feel guilty about," Kat says, quieter now. She has always been able to read him like an open book and today is no exception. Reading his struggle is easy for her, and she doesn't want him torturing himself for still loving his wife. It tortures her, but she can take that.
"Actually," he begins, making a decision. "I think my guilt...is just my mind playing tricks on me. I have no idea if Isinia is still out there or not, but if she is, I can try to find her. If I do, though, I'll have to explain that...I've fallen in love with another woman."
Kat looks startled at this but can't summon the courage to look him in the eyes.
"I've fallen in love with another woman because this woman...is not a memory. This woman stands by me everyday for reasons I can never understand." He shakes his head and grips her hand with his paw. "You have been here for me, Kat, and I've been putting us both through unnecessary grief, and for that, you must forgive me. A part of me may still hold onto the memory of Isinia but I have to accept that she is just that—a memory, for my heart to hold onto. You are just as big a part of it, though, and nothing will change that. I can't promise I'll always know what to do, or that I won't make more mistakes like today, but...I can promise that...I do love you."
"I love you too," she whispers, feeling tears build in her eyes. "You don't have to stop loving, Isinia, Doggie. You'll always love her, just like part of me will always love my husband. We just...we have to find a way to accept that our hearts can't be left in solitude forever. We shouldn't feel guilt for that. We shouldn't feel guilt for...being lonely."
"Thank you, Kat," he lifts her hand to the lips of muzzle, leaving a sweet but cool kiss to it. Guilt still swirls in the back of his mind but it is eased, for the moment.