THIRTEEN
"Indiana wants me, Lord I can't go back there!" Mercer sang along with the CD he was listening to entitled GIVE YOURSELF UP!: THE BEST COP SONGS. In the back seat, Seymour, Agent Orange, and General Storrs looked rather uncomfortable to be in his presence at the moment, especially when Ness howled along to the police siren parts of the song. "Uh, Mercer, are we looking for the Blues Brothers or what?" Agent Orange asked.
"Of course we are, Will, it's just..." Mercer started to tell him.
"Sir," came Mount's voice over the radio, "We've received word of the Blues Brothers, they're about five miles to the south of us. If we hurry we'll get them."
"Good work Captain," Mercer told him. "You hear that men?" he announced to all the other units of his contingent following him, "They're ours to take! Let's hit it!"
The cruisers' sirens roared to life. Inside his personal car, Suntzman stuck his siren on the roof. "And they don't have a clue that we're coming," he told Marvin gleefully.
"Yep," Marvin nodded.
"Now I'm wondering," Jack Lancaster spoke up from the back seat where he and Tony Danson were enjoying the ride, "No harm will come to Buster when we stop them, right?"
"Your son will not be harmed, Jack," Suntzman told him, "I can personally guarantee you that."
"There's got to be a better way of carrying these things around," Murphy complained as he lifted his keyboard into the back seat of the band's car.
"Well where are we going to get a better way, Murph?" Steve posed.
"Well maybe Jake could give us the better way," Murphy eyed the angel. Jake smiled mysteriously.
"Guys," Keith announced, coming out of Garrett Drew's house, a paper in hand, "Our next contact is in East St. Louis, if we can get there by dark. My friends I told you about should reach us then."
"Sounds good," Elwood said, tossing Armstrong's dog food he'd gotten off Drew into the trunk, "I guess we'll have to take..."
"Shhhhh!" Jake said suddenly. He listened for a minute, then said, "The cops are coming. You guys head south on 13, we'll draw them away."
"How do you know?" Matt asked. The sound of sirens in the distance solidified Jake's statement. "I hate having to do this over and over again!" Donald muttered as he and the band jumped in their car and sped off.
"Elwood, I sure had better not be pulled over!" Latifah warned her client as he hopped into the Bluesmobile, "I'll say you coerced me into it!"
"You'll be OK, Latifah, we're on a mission from God," Elwood told her as he fired up the engine.
"Uh, we're not going to go too fast here, are we?" Zee asked, fastening his seatbelt incredibly tight.
"It depends," Elwood shrugged. He pulled onto the highway just as the police caravan pulled up. "This is the Illinois Highway Patrol!" Mount yelled over his loudspeaker, "Surrender now!"
"Come and get us, copper!" Rocky yelled out the window at him.
"Oh God, not again, not again!" Zee moaned as the Bluesmobile started accelerating to a hundred miles an hour.
"Get used to it," Mack told him, "We're always facing off with the cops. It's kind of our karma in life."
"Well I should probably tell you I never liked thrill rides as a kid," Zee told him, "They made me nervous. Very nervous."
"So what's so thrilling about this?" Rocky inquired.
"YYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Zee screamed as Elwood made a hard right, demolishing a stop sign. He covered his eyed. "Tell me when it's over!" he moaned.
"Slow down, "Cabel warned Elwood, "You are breaking the speed limit and the law!"
"We don't have time for that now, Cab," Elwood told him, "We've got to..."
"Obey the law!" Cabel threw his foot over the seat and tried to activate the brake. Elwood tried to shove him away, and the Bluesmobile as a result swerved into the other lane, where Elwood had to swerve to avoid a truck. "Knock it off and let me drive!" he protested.
Behind them, Cabel's evil side was also trying to seize control of a car. "Speed up, damn it!" he yelled at Daniel, shaking him by the collar, "We're falling too far behind!"
"Will you just let me drive, Commander Chamberlain!" Daniel shouted at him.
"We can destroy them of you go faster, you ape!" Evil Cabel shouted, hitting the captain with his nightstick. Mount hit him back with his. "Do you want another demotion!" he bellowed, "Leave him alone!" Evil Cabel growled but backed off. Mount picked up his radio. "Attention all local units, we are in high speed pursuit of a black and white 1991 Ford Crown Victoria, license plate number BDR529. Approach with caution, they are highly dangerous."
Inside the Bluesmobile, Jake blew another whiff of his sleeping clouds at Good Cabel, who went back to sleep. "Sorry Elwood," he told his brother, "He didn't mean anything."
"I should hope...WHOA!!" Elwood had to swerve wildly to the left down a dirt road as local cops, who immediately took up pursuit, blocked his way. He almost immediately had to change course again, as several cars labeled MP came at him from the right. "They've got the damn army after us!" he complained.
"Then let's surrender while we still can!" Zee proposed.
"We don't surrender, you chicken!" Buster whacked him, "We're the Blues Brothers!"
"That's my little buddy," Elwood smiled. He noticed an old rusted sign ahead saying BRIDGE WEIGHT LIMIT 2 TONS, ½ MILE. A devious smile crossed his face. He accelerated forward toward it. "Can this hold our weight, Jake?" he asked his brother, "Tell me now if it can't."
"Do you have faith, Elwood?" Jake asked him. Elwood smiled and rocketed over the old, dilapidated covered bridge. It creaked horribly but managed to hold together. The cops weren't quite as lucky; no more than four of them managed to get on the span before it collapsed under their weight, spilling the cops into a creek.
"Yes!" Rocky pumped his fists in delight as he watched the bridge fall down out the rear windshield. Armstrong barked in satisfaction.
"Well, that's the end of that," Elwood said. He spoke too soon, however, for five more cop cars lurched out of the woods on their left. He spun around in a circle, thinking of the next way to get away. Jake thought that up for him, though. "Everyone fasten yourself in tight, we'll be arriving in Louisiana in five minutes," he told the others. "What do you mean we'll...?" Mack question was answered as Jake teleported to the back of the Bluesmobile, spread his wings, and pushed the car off at the speed of sound again before the astonished cops' eyes. They ground to a halt. "How'd he do that?" one asked the other, who shrugged.
Back at the collapsed bridge, the lucky cruisers ground to a halt at the creek. "Are you guys all right?" Daniel called down to his fellow lawmen who'd taken the dip.
"Fine, but they broke my watch!" one of them called up.
"They're gone!" one of the cops who'd been following the Bluesmobile on the far side yelled over to the main contingent.
"What do you mean they're gone!?" Mount shouted back.
"One minute they were right in front of us, and the next they vanished," the trooper explained.
"Well then, what are we standing around here for, men?" Mercer addressed his officers, "Let's get back on the road and find them."
"Sir, this isn't going to look good to the press," Seymour told his boss as they strode back to the car.
"What the press doesn't know won't hurt them, Seymour," Mercer told him with a wink.
"Attention all agents in District 3," Agent Orange announced into his cell phone, "I'm putting an APB on the Bluesmobile. Apprehend and disable at all costs, I repeat, at all costs! That means kill the occupants of the vehicle if need be! Over and out."
"Indiana wants me, Lord I can't go back there!" Mercer sang along with the CD he was listening to entitled GIVE YOURSELF UP!: THE BEST COP SONGS. In the back seat, Seymour, Agent Orange, and General Storrs looked rather uncomfortable to be in his presence at the moment, especially when Ness howled along to the police siren parts of the song. "Uh, Mercer, are we looking for the Blues Brothers or what?" Agent Orange asked.
"Of course we are, Will, it's just..." Mercer started to tell him.
"Sir," came Mount's voice over the radio, "We've received word of the Blues Brothers, they're about five miles to the south of us. If we hurry we'll get them."
"Good work Captain," Mercer told him. "You hear that men?" he announced to all the other units of his contingent following him, "They're ours to take! Let's hit it!"
The cruisers' sirens roared to life. Inside his personal car, Suntzman stuck his siren on the roof. "And they don't have a clue that we're coming," he told Marvin gleefully.
"Yep," Marvin nodded.
"Now I'm wondering," Jack Lancaster spoke up from the back seat where he and Tony Danson were enjoying the ride, "No harm will come to Buster when we stop them, right?"
"Your son will not be harmed, Jack," Suntzman told him, "I can personally guarantee you that."
"There's got to be a better way of carrying these things around," Murphy complained as he lifted his keyboard into the back seat of the band's car.
"Well where are we going to get a better way, Murph?" Steve posed.
"Well maybe Jake could give us the better way," Murphy eyed the angel. Jake smiled mysteriously.
"Guys," Keith announced, coming out of Garrett Drew's house, a paper in hand, "Our next contact is in East St. Louis, if we can get there by dark. My friends I told you about should reach us then."
"Sounds good," Elwood said, tossing Armstrong's dog food he'd gotten off Drew into the trunk, "I guess we'll have to take..."
"Shhhhh!" Jake said suddenly. He listened for a minute, then said, "The cops are coming. You guys head south on 13, we'll draw them away."
"How do you know?" Matt asked. The sound of sirens in the distance solidified Jake's statement. "I hate having to do this over and over again!" Donald muttered as he and the band jumped in their car and sped off.
"Elwood, I sure had better not be pulled over!" Latifah warned her client as he hopped into the Bluesmobile, "I'll say you coerced me into it!"
"You'll be OK, Latifah, we're on a mission from God," Elwood told her as he fired up the engine.
"Uh, we're not going to go too fast here, are we?" Zee asked, fastening his seatbelt incredibly tight.
"It depends," Elwood shrugged. He pulled onto the highway just as the police caravan pulled up. "This is the Illinois Highway Patrol!" Mount yelled over his loudspeaker, "Surrender now!"
"Come and get us, copper!" Rocky yelled out the window at him.
"Oh God, not again, not again!" Zee moaned as the Bluesmobile started accelerating to a hundred miles an hour.
"Get used to it," Mack told him, "We're always facing off with the cops. It's kind of our karma in life."
"Well I should probably tell you I never liked thrill rides as a kid," Zee told him, "They made me nervous. Very nervous."
"So what's so thrilling about this?" Rocky inquired.
"YYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Zee screamed as Elwood made a hard right, demolishing a stop sign. He covered his eyed. "Tell me when it's over!" he moaned.
"Slow down, "Cabel warned Elwood, "You are breaking the speed limit and the law!"
"We don't have time for that now, Cab," Elwood told him, "We've got to..."
"Obey the law!" Cabel threw his foot over the seat and tried to activate the brake. Elwood tried to shove him away, and the Bluesmobile as a result swerved into the other lane, where Elwood had to swerve to avoid a truck. "Knock it off and let me drive!" he protested.
Behind them, Cabel's evil side was also trying to seize control of a car. "Speed up, damn it!" he yelled at Daniel, shaking him by the collar, "We're falling too far behind!"
"Will you just let me drive, Commander Chamberlain!" Daniel shouted at him.
"We can destroy them of you go faster, you ape!" Evil Cabel shouted, hitting the captain with his nightstick. Mount hit him back with his. "Do you want another demotion!" he bellowed, "Leave him alone!" Evil Cabel growled but backed off. Mount picked up his radio. "Attention all local units, we are in high speed pursuit of a black and white 1991 Ford Crown Victoria, license plate number BDR529. Approach with caution, they are highly dangerous."
Inside the Bluesmobile, Jake blew another whiff of his sleeping clouds at Good Cabel, who went back to sleep. "Sorry Elwood," he told his brother, "He didn't mean anything."
"I should hope...WHOA!!" Elwood had to swerve wildly to the left down a dirt road as local cops, who immediately took up pursuit, blocked his way. He almost immediately had to change course again, as several cars labeled MP came at him from the right. "They've got the damn army after us!" he complained.
"Then let's surrender while we still can!" Zee proposed.
"We don't surrender, you chicken!" Buster whacked him, "We're the Blues Brothers!"
"That's my little buddy," Elwood smiled. He noticed an old rusted sign ahead saying BRIDGE WEIGHT LIMIT 2 TONS, ½ MILE. A devious smile crossed his face. He accelerated forward toward it. "Can this hold our weight, Jake?" he asked his brother, "Tell me now if it can't."
"Do you have faith, Elwood?" Jake asked him. Elwood smiled and rocketed over the old, dilapidated covered bridge. It creaked horribly but managed to hold together. The cops weren't quite as lucky; no more than four of them managed to get on the span before it collapsed under their weight, spilling the cops into a creek.
"Yes!" Rocky pumped his fists in delight as he watched the bridge fall down out the rear windshield. Armstrong barked in satisfaction.
"Well, that's the end of that," Elwood said. He spoke too soon, however, for five more cop cars lurched out of the woods on their left. He spun around in a circle, thinking of the next way to get away. Jake thought that up for him, though. "Everyone fasten yourself in tight, we'll be arriving in Louisiana in five minutes," he told the others. "What do you mean we'll...?" Mack question was answered as Jake teleported to the back of the Bluesmobile, spread his wings, and pushed the car off at the speed of sound again before the astonished cops' eyes. They ground to a halt. "How'd he do that?" one asked the other, who shrugged.
Back at the collapsed bridge, the lucky cruisers ground to a halt at the creek. "Are you guys all right?" Daniel called down to his fellow lawmen who'd taken the dip.
"Fine, but they broke my watch!" one of them called up.
"They're gone!" one of the cops who'd been following the Bluesmobile on the far side yelled over to the main contingent.
"What do you mean they're gone!?" Mount shouted back.
"One minute they were right in front of us, and the next they vanished," the trooper explained.
"Well then, what are we standing around here for, men?" Mercer addressed his officers, "Let's get back on the road and find them."
"Sir, this isn't going to look good to the press," Seymour told his boss as they strode back to the car.
"What the press doesn't know won't hurt them, Seymour," Mercer told him with a wink.
"Attention all agents in District 3," Agent Orange announced into his cell phone, "I'm putting an APB on the Bluesmobile. Apprehend and disable at all costs, I repeat, at all costs! That means kill the occupants of the vehicle if need be! Over and out."