The second time was unexpected. Well, the first time wasn't really expected either but at least we had some sort of excuse. This time was an incredibly drunken night. I hadn't intended to drink very much because I know what I'm like with alcohol sometimes and the last thing I had wanted to do was embarrass Grant in front of his new co-workers. He'd forgive me but I'd never forgive myself.
I'd been invited to a cast party with Grant, just after he'd shot a few episodes of Season Three of Glee, he was so stoked to have been invited as the cast took control of the guestlist and it wasn't a formal gathering so he didn't have to be invited. He was unsure with how his character Sebastian Smythe was being received by the other members and greatly feared that they wouldn't be able to help feeling a little bit of resentment for the way he'd been written to act. But then after a less than formal invitation and a clap on the shoulder from a grinning Cory, his worry washed away, remembering that they were all professionals and of course they wouldn't feel that way.They'd all insisted that he brought someone along, helping him to feel more relaxed and comfortable in a less than familiar setting with these new people who he'd watched on television since the pilot episode. He still couldn't believe this was his life.
He'd called me that evening, begging me to accompany him; not that it took much persuading as I was dying to go just so I could participate in a Glee party and meet all of these wonderful actors and actresses. I'd been informed it was a casual affair but dressing up was fun and apparently the girls didn't need a real excuse to throw on their pumps even for a house party, so I pulled on a short white crocheted skirt, black and white spotted bralet and black slip on suede wedges.
"You look good Barnesy, trying to score with half of the cast?" I punched Grant's arm hard, hoping to cause an amount of pain for being inappropriate, he glared at me and slung his arm around my shoulder, pressing his lips to my temple as we entered Darren & Joey's apartment. Looking around I felt rather insecure, I could feel my self-confidence sliding onto the floor through my feet by taking one glance at all of the girls from the cast. They were super pretty on camera but in reality they were all beautiful. Boy did I feel like a sore thumb.
I nervously fiddled with my skirt as Grant searched the place for a face he was more familiar with and led us in the direction of the kitchen. When I tore my eyes away from my skirt long enough, I saw that we were headed straight for Darren & Mark. My eyes widened as I shook my head profusely at Grant, pulling on his arm to stop him from advancing over in their direction.
"I know you have a bit of a crush on Darren so why not introduce yourself."
"I'm going to throw up. That'll be attractive." I mumbled, rolling my eyes and inwardly cursing the idiot that I had stupidly agreed to accompany.
"Grant! Hey man!" Darren cheered as we approached; his arms extended to pull him into a hug and clapped Grant's back, before Mark did the same. The four of us stood there for a moment, I felt so awkward not knowing anyone and this situation really wasn't helping. Darren nodded in my direction, smiling and causing Grant to realise that he hadn't even introduced me yet.
"Oh god- sorry! Darren, Mark this is my home girl Hanna, Hanna this is Darren and Mark."
"Hi." I squeaked, feeling so god awful just standing here, unsure, and giving a slight wave as I smiled.
"Are you cool with hugs?" Darren grinned, causing me to all but foam at the mouth, what an attractive visual Hanna. How classy.
"Yeah, I'm very much a hugger." Before I even had a second to think, he dived forward and pulled me into a huge hug, his arms clasping around my back and he laughed into my neck due to the force of my body all but slamming into his.
"Nice to meet you Hanna." He pulled back, still smiling and I looked to Mark, raising my eyebrows.
He laughed and wrapped his arms around me, "Good to see you and meet you doll."
"You too guys, I've heard a lot about you." I replied, a genuine smile quirking up my lips, I glanced around the place from where I stood in the open plan living room and kitchen, "you have a lovely place here, Darren."
"Thank you, and thanks for coming here this evening, we've all been dying to meet you ever since we met Grant, this fool doesn't shut up about you." I couldn't contain the small blush rising in my cheeks and Grant awkwardly laughed.
"Gee, thanks Darren."
"Oh boo," I cooed at Grant, laughing at his embarrassment, "your love for me is overwhelming."
I stepped back beside Grant and looped my arm with his as I glanced around the room, Grant immersed in conversation with the two older men.
I spotted Dianna dancing with Kevin as Lea was leant against the breakfast bar happily chatting away to Chris animatedly with Ashley was stood beside him, almost in tears with laughter over something the leading woman was saying. Curt was stood beside Cory and Joey, all with a drink in their hand as various other people were scattered around, how their apartment fit this many people I'll never know but it was fun and energetic whilst being calm and relaxed all at once.
It was still so surreal being here, I mean I was in Darren Criss and Joey Richter's apartment, but I figured that with the welcome response from the two men I had already met, things would go swimmingly.
"Seriously, thank you guys so much for welcoming Grant into your group, he's wonderful, you're all wonderful and so is this evening." I giggled, sipping my cola and whiskey whilst leaning against my new friend Joey.
The others grinned and some laughed, I was definitely the loving and affectionate type with alcohol in my system. Grant grabbed my hand, kissing it softly before beaming at me, "Love you Hann."
"You're a cute couple you and Grant." Joey smiled with a twinkle in his eye as he watched me with slight amusement, everyone else immersed in their own drunken conversations.
"Oh- we're not – no – not a couple. We're good friends - close – but good friends."
"I've seen the way you look at each other." He nonchalantly shrugged, like it was no big deal that he'd supposedly figured out something that had been lying on the surface of Grant and I's friendship.
"I don't understand, neither of us feels that way about each other." It was true, I didn't having feelings for Grant in that way. Sure, I'd seen him a little differently because of what had happened last time we were more than a little friendly.
"Are you sure?"
"Well I know I don't, he's attractive and all but I've only ever thought of him on platonic terms. I've known him since I was seventeen and I'll admit, I talked to him because I thought he was cute but then I got to know him and I just thought he was the sweetest guy and we've been friends ever since."
"Well from the view of an outsider, there's definitely sexual tension and mutual attraction, you both really have to realise this." He laughed, sipping his own drink and flinging an arm around my shoulder to pull me into a one armed cuddle. I just knew this boy would be insanely precious.
"Darren, I'm stealing you're best friend."
"Fine, I'll just have a beautiful bromance with Grant."
"Knock yourself out!" Grant pouted at me before moving closer to Darren with a cheeky grin pouring over his face, Joe raised his fist to mine laughing at the new allegiance the pair of us had formed against our actual best friends.
After half an hour or so I left in search of the bathrooms, too much liquid only made you hold out for so long. I checked my appearance in the mirror, wiping the excess eyeliner from under my eyes and reapplied my lipstick. Joey's words kept on repeating in my head, sexual tension and mutual attraction. Was this true? Of course not.
I pulled the door back to exit the bathroom, narrowly avoiding a head on collision with Grant himself.
"Oh, sorry sweetheart." I spoke, barely breathing at how close we were standing together.
"It's fine, no harm done." Neither one of us made any advance to move, both staring each other out before my eyes flickered down to his lips against my own will.
"You're going to have to move back for me to be able to leave, you know?" the lack of space between us was causing a stifling tension and I had no idea how to deal with it, one part of me wanted to gently push him back so I could return to the party but a stronger part of me want to press my lips to his and take him back into the bathroom.
"Do you really want that? Or are you doing what you think is right?"
I searched his eyes again, seeing his eyes turning a little darker at the prospect and thrill of what could potentially happen between us.
"I shouldn't do this but I really don't care right now." I moved forward, my lips falling in sync with his as his hand rested on my neck and my back resting against the wall. Our breathing was heavy as we continued on, one of my hands resting just above his ass and my other grasping onto his hair as I pressed my hips against his.
"Hanna!"
I giggled against his lips, pressing a kiss to them once more before grabbing onto his hand and pulling him inside the bathroom with a devilish grin adorning my lips.
"You'll be the death of me Hanna Barnes." He groaned, pushing back up against the wall as he re-attached our lips.
"G-god Grant, s-so much for a o-one-time thing." I stuttered out as his mouth trailed along my jawline and down my neck, the tongue darting out the lap at my skin. To say his mouth was heavenly would be an understatement. I hated how our friendship was turning into a cliché, at this rate we could almost label ourselves and file our relationship under the friends with benefits heading, but I wasn't about to regret this.
"I can't help it; I'm so fucking drawn to you as of late." His fingers twirled through my hair, making my breath hitch at the feeling, him knowing what having my hair touched and pulled does to me, "You look so beautiful tonight."
"Me too, god you asshole, why did we have to follow the trend and become another statistic?"
"Because we know each other better than anyone and we know how to please. Now please stop talking, I need to taste you more."
His hips stuttered forward again as his mouth sucked what I knew would be a deep mark on my neck; I was past caring now, just revelling in the feeling of his lips on my skin. It felt amazing to be with a guy again even if it was Grant.
One of his hands moved the bottom of my shirt, inching it up before boldly resting it on my breast, squeezing lightly. I moaned into his mouth, arching my back so I was pressed closer to him and rested my hands on his hips to bring our crotches together.
Grant pulled back momentarily, whining at the sudden friction I had caused, his eyes wide and seeking out mine as we entered dangerous and unfamiliar territory of the friendship zone. We both knew this shouldn't be happening, there was some unwritten rule in the invisible friendship agreement that forebode this type of relationship forming but alcohol had it's strange effects and I'll be damned if I said that I wasn't enjoying this wholly. I took another step into the danger zone when I pressed my open palm against the front of his jeans, pressing in, feeling him slowly moving his hips to gain more friction.
"Hanna –FUCK!" I watched him, falling apart in front of me, seeing my friend in a totally different light. Being enthralled by this man in front of me who looked completely stunning in a state of bliss.
I nonchalantly flicked the button on his jeans and slid down the zipper, my hand forcing its way into his boxers as I mentally freaked out and tried not to chastise myself for all but taking advantage of my friend despite still being intoxicated myself. My hand firmly wrapped around his swollen cock before I felt his own hand reaching straight up my skirt and into my panties, his fingers brushing my clit causing me to nearly scream out at the intense pleasure of his rough skin against my sensitive. I pulled my skirt up higher to give him more access, allowing his hand to move more freely. My head was bent, harshly pressing into his shoulder as our hands found a rhythm, pumping and sliding, eliciting sweet sounds from one another.
"Oh god – Grant!" I cried out – well more squeaked as his fingers sunk into me, so sensitively and secretly. My eyes scrunched shut as I pumped him faster, my free hand pulling his head closer to mine again, our lips messily joining, lips locking, tongues lovingly fighting. I knew I was close and I could tell he was too by the way my lip kept catching in his teeth as he hissed. "Let go." I whispered as I ran my thumb, delicately over the slit of his sensitive head, his head swinging back as he screamed a chorus of 'Fuck's'. He spilled over my hand, his body shaking and shuddering as his eyes clenched shut. Once he came down from his high, I was painfully close but not letting go until Grant had, I grabbed his hand and pushed it further, almost guiding him to heighten the pleasure. Within seconds I was coming undone, my whines blaring through the bathroom, my head burying into the wall as I rode out the most intense orgasm I'd had in a long time. The pair of us were breathing heavily, staring blatantly into each other eyes, both unsure of how exactly we were supposed to respond. It may not have been conventional but it was intense. And stunning. And great for being out of my mind.
Neither of us said a word as we adjusted our clothes and reached for the bathroom tap to wash off. We washed our hands quickly in the sink, before splashing water at each other and acting like nothing had happened. Our inner child coming out in the most bizarre of times. I guess this is how we would deal with this situation.
"You do realise that we just got each other off in Darren's bathroom right?"
"Yeah, I find that kind of sexy, although we should maybe invite him next time."
"You just like the attention of two attractive men." He smirked, snaking his arms around my waist.
"I do, I won't lie. Trust me, that's going on my bucket list." Grant simply laughed at the absurdity, clearly understanding me well enough to know I wasn't quite joking.
"Hey Grant? We're still okay, right?"
"Of course we are, right now I'd say we're better than okay." He pressed another soft and gentle kiss to my lips and in that moment, I was fully reassured that not one single thing had changed. Not for the worst at least.