NINETEEN

It was close to midnight when the Bluesmobile pulled onto the campus of Southern Baptist University. "Everyone keep your eyes out for a Brillstein Hall," Elwood said, scanning around the dark, willow-strewn green, "That's where we'll meet our contact."

"I think that might be it over there," Buster pointed to an ivy-covered library to their left. And sure enough, a silhouetted figure was standing on the steps waving at them. Elwood pulled over and rolled down the window. "You the guy waitin' for us?" he asked.

"Yeah, Elwood Blues, you probably don't remember me, I'm Tommy Ralston from the orphanage," the man told him. "I was one of the last to leave St. Helen's of the Blessed Shroud before they tore it down. Now I'm dean of admissions here. I'm thankful for you for saving that old place, though. Don't know where'd I be if…"

"Do you have a place for us or not?" Zee interrupted.

"It's Graham Hall, third building down the side road to your right," Ralston pointed it out, "Park in the grove behind the building, no one goes back there. I've got Room 324 on the top floor all laid out for you; I'll be up once you're in with essentials."

"Thanks," Elwood drove off toward the dorm in question. "Nice guy, but he talks way too much," he confided in the others.

"Well, let's just hope he doesn't have a leak in his system here that might spill on us," Zee said as they headed for the willow grove in question, "I have a good idea how the cops found us so quickly last time. And besides, I need a good night sleep."

"I take it you're not a person who likes excitement," Katrina spoke up for the first time since Lufkin.

"No, not at all, Miss," Zee told her as they piled out of the car. "I got sick on a roller coaster when I was six, and ever since I've sworn off thrills of any kind."

"Well don't you worry, brother, once this mission is over with, we'll have you ready for a lifetime of thrills," Elwood said, locking the Bluesmobile up.

"Please don't encourage that, Elwood," Zee told him.

They entered Graham Hall. The guard's face was buried in a newspaper, and he didn't look up when they walked in. "Room 324?" Elwood inquired.

"Down the hall to your left, top of the stairs, fourth room on the right," the guard pointed without looking at them. Elwood nodded and led the others in the directions they'd been told. "I wonder if the cops've figured out our route yet?" he wondered out loud.

"Not likely," Jake commented, "We got a good lead on them. The H.E.R.E.T.I.C.s might, though, so I'll keep watch all through the night for you."

"Don't you have to sleep?" an amazed Katrina asked.

"Sweetheart, it's called eternal rest for a reason," Jake told her, "I'm technically always asleep and at peace. It's rather complicated to explain to people who're still alive."

They reached the room they'd been assigned. It was a standard double occupancy room with bunk beds, a TV, a shower, a desk, and a sink. A basket had been set up in the corner for Armstrong, who immediately walked over and laid down in it. "I got dibs on top bunk," Elwood said, taking off his tuxedo and laying it on the chair next to the desk.

"I hope they're up with food soon," Zee said, sitting down on the bottom one, "I haven't eaten since that gas station in Texarkana. In the meantime, time to catch the late news. Maybe we'll see where the cops are now."

"Do you really think they'll show that?" Buster derided him, but as it turned out, the first shot that popped up on the screen was of Mercer standing in front of his now roofless car. "…this was a ruthless, unorthodox attack on their part," he was telling the reporter, "If there is any doubt on the part of this country, and the voters of Illinois, that the Blues Brothers still pose a threat to the general public, this should have dispelled it. I want all of you to know that I am going to stay out on the road chasing them down until I catch them. I don't see George Haroldson doing anything to stop the menace they pose. I think there's no…"

"Thank you Mr. Mercer," the reporter cut him off, "Back to you, Bill."

"Thank you Todd," the anchor back at CNN told him, "As you at home can see, the escape of the Blues Brothers from jail has set off a political firestorm in Illinois. Governor Haroldson today released a statement calling Mercer's campaign to catch Elwood Blues and his associates a complete waste of taxpayer dollars. Haroldson went on to say, quote, 'If Burton Mercer wasn't so set on chasing windmills, he might notice there's lots of crime occurring right now in this state that is more dangerous than a washed-out con in an old battered car.' Mercer's camp has yet to file a rebuttal."

"Congratulations, Elwood," Jake patted him on the shoulder, "You've made this campaign exciting again. Now they'll go for all sorts of mud to toss at each other."

"In related news, businessman Tony Danson, whose son was last seen in the custody of the Blues Brothers, has issued a twenty-five thousand dollar reward for anyone who can provide solid information for his safe return," the anchor continued, "Danson, whom we're told is with Mercer on the trail of the Bluesmobile…"

There was a knock at the door. "Here's your food, guys," Ralston whispered in.

"Thanks a lot," Zee reached through the crack and took the tray off him, "No dessert?"

"I'll see what I can find," Ralston scurried off. Zee set the tray on the desk. "Come and get it," he announced out loud. Buster and Katrina eagerly helped themselves to sandwiches and soft drinks. Elwood, on the other hand, merely took a piece of cheese off another sandwich and folded it up before chewing on it. "Fetch," he called to Armstrong, tossing the rest of the sandwich in the dog's direction. "Don't you ever eat a lot of anything, Elwood?" an amazed Zee asked him.

"I'm not really much of a diner," Elwood admitted, "Now Jake, he was different. He'd eat anythin' around him, wouldn't ya, Jake?"

"You know it," Jake was glancing out the window. "No sign of any dark agents yet," he announced, "I think you all can go to bed a bit easier."

"Oh really?" the thought of hellish agents after him didn't seem to make Zee all that comfortable about sleeping.

Elwood finished eating his cheese and yawned. "Well, I'd better go hit the sack," he shrugged, "I'm feelin' bushed. Ya ready for bed, Buster?"

There was another knock on the door. "Rice pudding, anyone?" Ralston asked, pushing another tray through the crack. "Not now, Elwood," Buster said, eagerly grabbing one bowl.

"I'm going to watch the late news," Zee told them all, "I'll keep it low for you all so…"

"Turn out the lights," Jake said suddenly.

"Why, what…."

"Just do it, and pull down the blind," Jake told him, "We've got company here on campus. I'll take care of it."

He skittered through the wall and floated in the air outside. He'd thought he'd sensed the presence of mortals with ill intent approaching and there was no mistaking the revving of motorcycle engines below. "The Black Diamond Riders," he said softly, seeing the amoral bikers riding onto campus in the distance. Making himself almost transparent, he flew toward them. "…all the reports said they were headed this way," Mad Dog was telling his associates, "Spread out and find those clowns! I just know they're here. And remember, Topton's all…"

There was the beeping of a horn behind them. A very familiar Winnebago was coming up the access road behind them. Tucker McElroy stuck his head out the driver's side window. "Hey, Evel Knievel, get your bikes out of my way!" he yelled at Mad Dog harshly, "I'm looking for someone here!"

"Nobody makes us get out…!" Mad Dog started to say, but then he recognized the country & western man. "Say, you're that bum that sang like a woman at that restaurant," he said, "What brings you down here?"

Tucker grunted uncomfortably at the memory of what Jake had just done to him. Bob leaned out of the passenger window. "We're looking for some goddarn jerks," he explained, "They owe me three hundred dollars for beer. You ain't seen 'em, have you?"

"Wait, you mean the Blues Brothers?" a biker with a head scarf piped up, "We're looking for them too."

"You don't say," Bob exclaimed, "Which of you's in charge here?"

"I am," Mad Dog walked up to the Winnebago, "Mad Dog McMurdo."

"Well Mr. Mad Dog, what do you say we make a little gentlemen's agreement here?" Bob proposed, "You join up with us," he gestured to the rest of the Good Old Boys in the Winnebago, who raised their rifles and ax handles, "And we'll catch them together and split the difference, namely we each kill the ones we want dead the most. What do you say?"

"We work alone, bud," Mad Dog growled.

"But we both hate these guys with a passion," Tucker argued, "And Bob and me would be willing to compensate you with anything you want for helping us get them: money, jewels, women…"

"Free women?" a mustached biker was intrigued by the offer, "I think we've got a winner here, Mad Dog."

"Group huddle," Mad Dog announced to his cronies. They came close and talked it over for a minute, "Sure, why the hell not?" the biker said, shaking Bob's hand, "We've got an inkling that they're right here in this university."

"All right, you guys take the left end of the property," Tucker told the bikers, "We'll take the right. Yell if you see them."

There was the roar of engines as the motorcycles and Winnebago rolled off. "That's bad," Jake admitted out loud. Then he saw an infamous red car coming up the road. "And that's worse."

He zoomed high in the air as the Nazi's car slunk into sight. About ten of them climbed out of it—as did Camille. "I believe you owe me heavily for my information," she informed the Head Nazi.

"If you're looking for me to reward you, forget it toots," the Head Nazi told her roughly, "Woman's only purpose in this world is to bear warriors, and that's all you will do when the New Order comes to…"

Camille grabbed him by the throat. "I don't like your tone," she told him, "Frankly, I don't trust you or your fools here, so I've brought my pets along to find Jake and his friends."

She walked to the trunk and opened it. Three giant hellhounds sprung out, growling ominously. "Larry, Moe, Fido, Jake's here," she told them, "Find him for me, and I'll let you quarter him personally."

The hellhounds tore across the green, barking loudly. "As you can see, unlike you, I come prepared," Camille told her associates, who looked like they'd had no idea the dogs had been in the trunk, "Let me know if you see anything."

Jake watched as his foes split up. "OK, gotta think heavy here, Blues," he said to himself, "Now how do I get rid of all these goons in one blow?" He thought this over for a minute, then snapped his fingers and said, "Yeah, that'll do it, but I'll have to get them all in the same place for it to work." And with that he split himself into five different versions of himself.

Down in the cafeteria, the bikers shoved the overnight staff aside as they started tearing up the building. Mad Dog grabbed a startled head cook by the collar. "Where are the Blues brothers?" he demanded, "We know they're here!"

"I, I have no idea what you're talking about!" the cook stammered.

"Don't lie to me!" the head biker snarled, "I know what…!"

"Hey Mad Dog, there's somebody in the closet over here," one of his brother bikers ran up.

Mad Dog shoved the cook to the ground and ran over to his compadres, who had their weapons at the ready, outside the closet, from which a light could be seen under the door. "On the count of three," Mad Dog told them, raising a foot high, "THREE!"

He kicked the door in…and found himself staring at the most hideous face imaginable. With roaring red eyes, a bleached faced, and horrible burn damage, it roared in his face. The unshakable Black Diamond Riders screamed in terror and ran as fast as they could out onto the green. Inside the closet, the Jake clone restored himself to normal. "That was easy," he told himself, "Now let's hope the rest of me did his job."

On the green, the Riders were met by an equally pale group of Good Old Boys. "Did you see it too!" a gasping Tucker managed to say between breaths, "It was in the library bathroom too! This place is haunted!"

"Oh don't be silly, Tuck," Bob looked less convinced, "I good well have just been…"

One of the country singers started shrieking in terror and pointing toward the north end of the campus. "For Lord's sake, Harlan, give it a…" Tucker started to reprimand his band mate, but could only stare in shock at the sight of the hellhounds approaching, the Nazis—now in their skeletal form in the moonlight--in their jaws, and Camille running after them. "Put them down, boys!" she was shouting at them.

"You're faithful friends here sure are proving their mettle," the Gruppenfuehrer grumbled, trying to pull himself out of Fido's jaws.

"It's not my fault, you imbecile!" Camille rebuked him, "Something just tells me Jake's fiddling with their…!"

"Do you hear something?" Bob held up his hand. The wind was now whipping heavily around them. Everyone looked up just in time to see a tornado coming toward them, even though the sky was clear. "Every man for himself!" Mad Dog yelled. Everyone started running, but the tornado picked them all up, including the hellhounds. Jake slipped out of the vortex and watched his enemies spin into the woods and out of sight. "That should handle them for now," he said, putting his hands to his head to stop the spinning sensation he had from rotating around so rapidly. "I'd better have someone upstairs keep a tighter watch so I don't get surprised like this anymore."

He fused his separate selves back into one and floated back into the dorm room. "Problem solved," he announced to his Brothers.

"Mmm," Zee wasn't quite as interested as he was in watching the ESPN crawl on TV, "Well, it looks like the Cubs might not need you guys after all. They rallied in the eighth to tie the series at 2. Next time, let's turn in early so I can catch the game in full?"

"We'll see what we can do, brother," Jake rubbed him on the head affectionately. He created a cloud from his fingertips and flopped down on it as it floated up to the ceiling. It stopped when it was parallel to Elwood's bunk. His brother had Buster and Katrina sound asleep under his arms. "So they won't be a problem no more, huh Jake?" he asked him.

"Not for tonight anyway," Jake kicked off his shoes, "Can I have the girl?"

"Sure," without disturbing her, Elwood picked Katrina up and laid her on the cloud next to Jake. Jake cradled her close and gave her a warm smile. "I'll tell you something Elwood," he said, "Looking back now, the one thing I wish I could have had was a child of my own to love."

"Well, doncha love her like ya are?" Elwood looked puzzled.

"Oh sure, when you're in my state you love everyone on the planet, but I just wish I'd been able to have that son or daughter to give truly fatherly love to."

"Well, look at the bright side, Jake, maybe some of the dames you took for…" Elwood stopped himself when he remembered what Curtis had told them the other day about illegitimacy in heaven, "Oh, yeah, forgot, no under the table kids."

"I checked anyway," Jake informed him, "None of them actually gave birth, although two did miscarry. When you have eternity to mull over your mistakes, you realize where you've failed in life." He sighed deeply. "Boy what I wouldn't give to be alive again and give life another chance. I could make up for everything that went wrong before."

"You did good enough for me, Jake," Elwood gave him a rare smile, "And we saved the orphanage together. I think that should count for ya."

"True, those were basically what got me into heaven instead of Purgatory," Jake conceded, still, I can't help wondering…"

Katrina moaned in her sleep and rolled over. Jake covered her with some cloud and hugged her closer. "Well, good night Elwood," he said, tipping his hat too him, "Don't flush the toilet too loud if you have to go in the middle of the night."

"I won't," Elwood looked confused as to why this should be an issue at all, but he shrugged and pulled his hat down over his eyes. "Night Zee," Jake called down to his real brother, who was already sound asleep in front of the TV. Jake snapped his fingers, and it went dark, eliciting a whimper from the basket in the corner. "Sorry Armstrong," Jake apologized to the dog and snapped the TV back on. He glanced down at Katrina asleep in his arms. Her hadn't lied one bit to Elwood. He deeply wished she could be his own daughter…