Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy
WARNING! Chapter contains: OOCness, gore, and not much else. Guest appearance by another Supernova, and a Celestial Dragon or two! DISCLAIMER! I don't own One Piece! It would not be as amazing a show if I did!
Hello, my peeps! *get beaten over the head* I'm sorry it took so long! This chapter was being a bitch to me, but we both got over it. I'm not sure when my next chapter will be posted, since school is in the way, BUT I WILL RETURN! I SWEAR! Um, to explaint the bitchiness, my computer went nuts and died, so I had to get a new one. There goes my life savings! But, thank you all for being paitent!
Review kisses go out to... Akin D., Yuri 17, Vampire Revan, KawaiiOwO, Lilywonders, TobiBlack, umm yeah, and meka 18. Haha, yeah, KitChi, I myeals am wondering how the end is going to go down. Thast's been hard to figure out, honestly. About Killer, he won't get shota'd, but remember, he's been under the weather~! And Snowiki, it embarassed me as much as you AND Kid to write out the changing scene. But, it had to happen! About Law and his pants, either he felt too crummy to notice, or I forgot to make him notice. Thanks for pointing that out!
Oh, last night, I had an OP dream. I saw Law with his timeskip leather jacket and hat as I knew he looked like, but my subconcious gave him sagging pants and a studded belt. We were in a stadium, and I glomped him from a row up. It was sooooooooo fucking awesome! Now, READ AND ENJOY!
For once, Kid wasn't pissed to hell when he woke up. He was grinning like a madman, more proud of himself than he'd been in ages. Why? Because he had successfully pissed Law off to the tenth dimension, if that was possible.
Then again, he was being held by his underarms and dangling in the air. A fall from the height he was at could easily kill him.
"Yoo mad?" ***INSERT TROLLFACE ON KID ***
"Never been more in my life."
While the Heart Pirate captain was sleeping off his hangover, Kid decided to fuck around with his ship. While the missing medical equipment, silverware, and everything small and metal was being sorted out with only some trouble, there were larger issues. The stash of neon-yellow paint was broken into and spattered all over the hallways, a whole load of laundry came out pink thanks to one red sock, and the tiny bastard had managed to set of six emergency flares on the main deck before he was caught.
There would be an infant sacrifice that night if the crew had their way.
"Before I drop you into the sea to perish, tell me how you managed it," the fuming, dark-eyed man demanded, giving Kid a slight squeeze. The redhead shrugged.
"I jus' focused enuff oo move da me'aw shi', an' da wes' was easee." (I just focused enough to move the metal shit, and the rest was easy.)
"Anything else before we say goodbye?" Law questioned as he stepped closer to the railing from the charred patch on the deck. At that point, Kid began to panic a little bit.
"Yesh. I was bowed. Yoo said we wewe gumma do somfi'g fum 'oday. Yoo awso cam' kiw meh," (Yes. I was bored. You said we going to do something fun today. You also can't kill me.) Law knew it was the truth and tucked Kid in his arms, safe and sound. However, that was not the last of it.
"We are going into the Sabaody Archipelago today." He stated as they returned inside. It was a quarter to ten in the morning, and breakfast had been served. Law found out when he was with Kid heading to the kitchen; crewmembers scrubbing at paint were a dead giveaway. Upon returning to his quarters, Law dumped Kid on the bed, and started packing supplies away in a bag.
"Sowwy." Kid apologized after several minutes of silence. Law shrugged, knowing it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't gotten sick. He was soon finished with packing, much to Kid's delight. "Ochay, we's go!"
"Hang on there. I'm going to punish you," the raven stepped over to the dresser and pulled out a shopping bag. Kid blinked, confused. Until Law flipped it over right next to him and its contents spilled out.
Remember those "goodies?"
"You're going to wear this while we're out and about," he stated, holding up a set of female infant clothing. It consisted of a strawberry-print dress with white lace on the collar and sleeves, along with matching socks, booties, and hair bows.
Needless to say, Kid exploded when the dressing began.
"The author has elected to censor this line of dialogue due to its extremely graphic nature. She also apologizes for any inconvenience."
"I did not know you could kill a person like that," Law muttered as he pressed the final snap. Kid had been foaming at the mouth in rage just moments prior, but was reduced to whimpering that it burned as he clawed against the bed. It made it easier for the Heart captain to slip the footwear on and tie two little pigtails in Kid's soft, red hair. Law put on the sling, slipped Kid inside, and they were off the Archipelago.
"Aw, what a cute daughter you have!" the cashier of a shaved ice stand cooed as Law paid for a frozen lemonade. He chuckled, said thanks, and left for a bench.
"Yow a sich bas'awd," (You're a sick bastard) Kid seethed as the raven sat the diaper bag down next to them and scooped some of the frozen treat into his mouth.
"Calm down. She probably said that to be polite; we look nothing alike, anyway," Law reasoned as he adjusted Kid's position in his lap. They entered the theme park area for some entertainment, even though the redhead demanded the lawless zones or an auction house. However, Law's infallible logic of "An extremely wanted man carrying a baby would look more than a little suspicious to Marines, vulnerable to bounty hunters, and pricy to slave traders."
"You also make an adorable little girl…" he muttered almost inaudibly. It was entirely true.
"Wha' was da?" Kid questioned, looking straight upwards.
"Oh, nothing. Want some of this?" the raven held his cup of flavored ice up. The redhead thought for a moment, deemed it harmless, and nodded. Law raised his right thigh, elevating Kid's body, and spooned some of the sweet between those supple candy lips. He shivered as it touched his teeth, but allowed it to melt, enjoying its pungency. "I didn't know you liked sweets, Eustass-ya."
"I mowmally dom'. Dis jus' 'astes good." (I normally don't. This just tastes good.) Indifference was one of Kid's subtle talents.
"Wanna go on a ride?" Law was prepared to do anything to make the surly South Blue baby satisfied.
"I dummo. If yoo we' me have mowe of da' ice, I'w tew yoo," (I dunno. If you let me have more of that ice, I'll tell you) Kid bargained. Law sighed and gave him more, but not so much that he would get sick.
"Well?"
"Fewwis wheew. I wich heighs." (Ferris wheel. I like heights.)
"Okay then. Whatever you say." Law tucked Kid back into position, threw the empty cup away, and headed off in the direction of the park rides. Luckily for them, the ride lines weren't too long, but they were chock-full of, ya guessed it, females.
"Oh, she's sooooo cute~!" the woman at the pay booth crooned as Law bought tickets in. It irritated Kid to no end that he could easily pass off as a girl, but since it was for only one day, he let it slide. When the lady slammed her body up against the glass panel, the Heart captain got the heck out of there.
"That is the weirdest fricking Ferris wheel I've ever seen," Law commented as they boarded a bubble. Kid had to suppress a gasp of surprise and joy as they began to move upwards and back, but it was a pleasant feeling as they reached the top. Kid shifted around in the raven's arms, trying to get a better view of the park around them. He was enjoying himself so much that he forgot he was in drag; big surprise. Law smiled behind the redhead's back, finding the whole situation to be adorable beyond compare.
It was going to be somewhat bittersweet for Trafalgar when his ginger rival was turned back to normal. He'd miss the heart-wrenchingly cute moments and the duties of a parent, like feedings and dressings, but having Eustass back to his inhumanly sexy self was well worth it. Very, very well worth it…
One short ride later, the two Supernovas were strolling around the park, calm and content with everything. That was, until some girl screamed loud enough to break glass. Seriously, the game booth about ten yards from them just cracked and shattered! Whipping their heads around, they saw a middle-aged woman with a baby of her own, freaking out and pointing at them.
"Quick! Somebody call the Marines! There's a Supernova here!" Luckily for Law, they were at an angle, so nobody could see them but her. Soon, her husband returned to her, calming her down, believing that she was just having a breakdown. Before she could explain herself, the dark-haired man rushed away to safety.
"Way oo go, Fawga. Maybee yow jus' ma' as im'imida'ig wif me awoud," (Way to go, Trafalgar. Maybe you're just not as intimidating with me around) Kid teased. Law shot him a death-glare, but continued walking.
"I think we're done with the rides for today, Chibi-Eustass-ya," he retorted. Kid huffed, still loathing that nickname, but was happy not to get caught. Trouble was the last thing he needed while in his current state—of body and garb. They exited the park, and were walking aimlessly around the tourist area, when trouble said hi again.
"Trafalgar? What are you doing here?" a monotone voice demanded from behind them. The Heart captain wheeled around to see none other than Basil Hawkins and a few of his own nakama scaring the crap out of the locals. Explained why it was suddenly so quiet…
"Enjoying an afternoon off," Law responded in a casual tone.
"Of course. You suddenly decided to visit the tamest section of the Sabaody Archipelago alone, with an infant that suspiciously resembles Eustass "Captain" Kid strapped to your chest. I don't need my Powers to tell that you are lying."
Ouch. Was it really that transparent of a situation?
"I assure you, that is not what's going on here," the dark-skinned man tried his best to play off the accusation. He was able to keep his cool until Kid blew it.
"Wha' da hew, bwondee? Dis fucha swaps me im a dwess amd yoo say I wooch wich mysewf?" (What the hell, blonde? This fucker slaps me in a dress and you say I look like myself?) The redhead yelled in his high-pitched, baby tone of voice.
"I rest my case," Hawkins finished. Or not, "So, that glutton Jewelry get to you? I'm surprised, Eustass. More so that you are allowing a rival to carry you." Man, he knew how to hit a nerve!
"Yow a fweach," Kid snarled, but the intimidation factor was lost, for obvious reasons. When Basil didn't even bat an eyelash, the infant part of Kid's brain took over, and he settled for a heavy pout.
Law sighed and bounced the little serial killer in his arms. "What do you want, Basil?"
"I would say 'a fight,' but I can see that you are busy playing nursemaid at the moment. Sometime in the New World, then?" Before Law could answer and/or flip him off, Hawkins and his fagalicious crew had left.
"Asshole," the North Blue boy seethed. He never had much love for his fellow Supernovas (aside from Kid and little bit of Luffy) but the voodoo doll user even disturbed Law. Something about the straw creature he became when he was fighting just weirded him out!
"Dis had beem a s'wa'ge day…" (This had been a strange day…) Kid thought out loud.
"You bet. What's next, a Celestial Dragon?" Law rhetorically asked with a sarcastic tone that gave the author a lovely idea for later.
Another half hour of strolling and enjoying the calm weather, the pair stopped for lunch. Pre-packed formula and cereal for Kid, and tuna salad sandwiches for Law. Fortunately for the both of them, there were no deranged waitresses at the little teashop they ate at, just a bitter host. Eh, he was bitter if judged by all the sour glances he kept giving Law.
Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me… He thought as they left and got one last skunk-eye. (FYI, he got that quote off a fat chick's T-shirt.) When a bubble bigger than Kid when he was an adult came by and swallowed them up, they enjoyed the ride.
Until it floated thirty feet above a crowd of people on their knees.
"Ah, shit," Law cursed the world as a pair of Celestial Dragons paraded down the street.
"Yoo jus' had oo say 'Cewestiaw Dwagom,' didm't yoo?" (You just had to say 'Celestial Dragon,' didn't you?) Kid chided angrily. In reality, he didn't blame Law, just the fact that the universe had a really sick, twisted sense of humor.
"Please don't let them notice us," the furry-capped man muttered as they bobbed closer and closer to them. They slowly lost altitude, and when they were at twenty feet and edging closer and closer, the male one looked up. "Fuck."
BAM!
He had whipped out one of those stupid, cylindrical guns and popped the bubble, sending Law ass first into the earth. A sickening crack rang out as he landed on his leg, but Kid was (ohthankgawd) unharmed. The dark-eyed captain bit back a cry and held Kid tighter to his chest, not wanting to look at the epicenter of agony that was his right leg. Bystanders flinched at the sight of it, grossly bent and a lump bulging through his pants. Law met the eyes of the so-called "Saint" that shot him down, pouring as much rage as he could muster through the pain.
He was an ugly little fucker, to say the least. With blotchy skin and googly eyes, partnered with the over puffiness of his lips—probably from poorly-mixed genes—he was an eyesore, if Law did say himself. Worse, the resin bubble around his misshapen head magnified it in detail. He was laughably stump-like, and from the look of things, not much older than Law, with a suit that was a sickly orange color, with baby barf (ha-ha, irony) green accents.
The woman was more attractive by far, but had a hideous sneer on her face. She looked like she wanted to make everyone around her suffer for existing in her world. (A/N: I guess the helmets weren't enough…) Lankier than her counterpart, the skin on her face was tanned and stretched tight over the bones in her face, giving her a horse-like aura, especially since they both had the same over-sized lips. She had a purple-pink suit and earrings the size of dinner plates. They both had mahogany-red hair, pulled into the ridiculous swirls of their people.
"Whaat do we haave heere, broother Kristouf?" the woman dragged out in a screechy voice.
"I'm not shure, shishter Roshalind. Trash outshide it'sh can?" Kristouf (rhymes with piss-floof) slurred back to his sibling, Rosalind. Spit flew from his mouth and spattered on the bubble in front of him.
"Sonuvabitch!" Law hissed. "Kid, no matter what happens, act like a baby!" Sure, he sliced up Marines for sport and laughed at Luffy punching making world history, but he wasn't hurt at the time, and had his nodachi on hand. Before he had time to get up and run, broken leg or no broken leg, Kristouf asked one of his dressed-up legal assistants a dreadful question.
"Thish man sheemsh familiar. Who ish he?"
"He is Trafalgar Law," the man answered, "a Supernova with a bounty of 200,000,000 Beli and captain of the Heart Pirates. An excellent addition to your North Blue collection."
"I liike the baaby he has. She maatches the laast slaave I bought~!" Rosalind cooed in an awful tone. Law felt Kid tense up in his arms at her comment.
"Sho be it. Take them both," Kristouf ordered, and three men came up to Law with slave collars. Still on the ground, he crouched on one leg, the other relatively useless, and held Kid fast. The strap of the now thin diaper bag was roughly grabbed by an unseen hand behind the hatted male and ripped off, pulling him backwards. When Law fell over, a man punched him in the face. The guy was rewarded with a super-powered blow to his groin. Scuttling away on his back, Law didn't get far before the last lawyer-like servant grabbed him bad leg and pulled. Hard.
The scream ripped from Law's throat was horrible. What followed it was actually unexpected by the Saints.
"FUCK YOU!" the hoodie wearing captain screeched at the top of his lungs. Using his good boot and natural flexibility, Law partially jackknifed upwards and sunk a heel into his assailant's face. The snapping-crunch noise was almost worth the pain, and the hold on his leg was loosened. The dickhead who grabbed him first rushed up, but Law, spinning on his hip, swept his legs out from under him. "Are you okay, Kid?" he asked, sitting up and releasing his death grip slightly.
"I'm dizzy as hew, bu' I shuod be ochay. By da way, whem did yoo leawm oo do da?" (I'm dizzy as hell, but I should be okay. By the way, when did you learn to do that?) Typical, Kid saw the less important things first. However, when his gaze fell to his ankle, he gasped. It was halfway turned inward, but Law's knee was upright.
"Calm down, Eustass-ya; it's not as bad as it looks." Law was sweating, and his tone of voice gave the suffering he was in away. The Celestial Dragon siblings stared at him, like they had never before been defied by a potential slave. He panted slightly and winced, shifting Kid in his arms and placing more weight on his left leg. In a burst of adrenaline and epinephrine (pain hormone), he stood up, shocking the entire crowd.
"Sho reshilant. Why don't you jusht shtay down?" Kristouf raised his gun again, and fired.
BAM!
He grazed the side of Law's hat, taking a few wisps of fur off.
"God damnit, your aims sucks ass!" Law screamed at him. "If you want me as a slave, I suggest you aim lower, if at all!" venting the pain from the break in his tibia and fibula, the North Blue captain was prepared to go down with a fight. Fuck. I can't feel below my knee. Law cursed the world inside his head.
"Hoow daare you insuult my broother, traash!" Rosalind squealed in disgust. "Hoow haard is it too caatch an injuurd maan and a baby?" Kid would've screamed back, but seeing Law in so much pain kept him from making the situation worse. Apparently, Law could handle that himself…
"Bitch."
BAM!
Kristouf fired off another shot, this time hitting Law in the right thigh. The bullet went straight through his leg, knocking him backwards with shock and pain. He heard Kid scream his name as he fell backwards, the redhead still tied to his chest. Blood pumped from his body, staining his spotted jeans. The world became hazy, and Law felt his eyes begin to close. Kid screamed again, but it was followed by a high-pitched whistle, then a small explosion.
The world became black as Law felt himself be picked up by a pair of thin but sturdy arms.
"Captain…"
Fuzzy light and shapes entered Law's brain, partnered with familiar, concerned voices.
"Can't believe… What's it mean…?"
He felt warm softness all around him. He didn't feel any pain of any kind, and he kind of wanted the voices to shut up.
"…by a Dragon, no less… He won't be happy…"
The voices slowly became louder and clearer, along with the light. Law soon found his own voice and vision, and used them. Opening his eyes, he saw shadows in a bright, circular light. One of his arms itched and hurt, and something was covering his face.
"The hell…?" Law questioned as he forced himself up on one elbow, the better one. He was wrapped in blankets and in nothing but his underwear. Sitting up all the way, he removed the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, but didn't fiddle with the IV lines in his arm. One of them had blood, and he didn't feel like making a mess; only then did the captain realize that he was in his own infirmary, with his crew hovering over him.
"Captain!" Bepo cried with relief. "We were so worried!" The polar bear forced himself not to choke the life out of his old friend via hugging.
"Bepo, how did I even get here? Last thing I remember, a Celestial Dragon wanted me as his slave and shot me!" in a rare moment of confusion, the disoriented captain allowed his cool demeanor to waiver, and outright panic seeped into his voice. "Where's Kid? What the hell happened?" Law threw the blankets off and tried to stand up, but he felt faint and stumbled to the floor. His right leg was completely covered in gauze and plaster.
"Sencho, stop!" Penguin scolded as he helped ease the wounded man back onto the gurney. "As soon as you calm down, we can explain everything!"
"Okay," Law was embarrassed for being told off like a child by one of his subordinates, but he deserved it. He laid back down and allowed his nakama to slip his foot into a sling to keep the swelling down, and story time began. Bepo started by rattling off the extent of his injuries. Apparently, his lower leg was badly broken, the muscles in his thigh were torn, and he had a nasty bump on his head, and had lost a little too much blood.
It would take him at least two months to fully heal, and possibly another one of intense physical therapy. Until then, he would be restricted to a wheelchair or crutches.
"Great, I'm crippled. Now, is Kid okay?" the worry in his voice was returning.
"He wasn't hurt. Right now, he's sleeping; I can go get him if you want," Penguin offered. His captain nodded fervently, anxious to see his crush. The pompom wearing shipmate returned with a snoozing Kid in his arms, free of the dress he bore earlier. He awoke as soon as he landed in Law's lap.
"Awe yoo ochay, Waw?" the redhead asked, eyes watery with concern and sleep. The amount of cuteness radiating off of him was like kryptonite to the Heart captain, who was only able to nod in response. "Bad news. We bof owe da' queew Hawchims ouw wives. He saved us fwom de Cewestiaw Dwagoms." (Are you okay, Law? Bad news. We both owe that queer Hawkins our lives. He saved us from the Celestial Dragons.)
"What?" Law gasped. It made no sense for a rival to help them, especially from what the two of them faced: slavery or death.
"Basil brought you here, Captain," Bepo told the story as best he could.
**Begin flashback**
The smoke bomb had worked perfectly. Thick, obscuring fog surrounded the area, allowing Hawkins to leap down from the building he was perched on and grab his fellow Supernova. At first, he thought about leaving them, but his cards said he was not to die or become a slave. He saved their lives with some reluctance. Carrying Trafalgar's vulnerable, bloody form to safety, the baby part of Kid's brain took over as he sobbed quietly into Law's chest.
"Silence, Eustass. Trafalgar is not destined to die today, and we are safe now. My crew's doctor will treat him, and you'll be back with his crew in no time." While Hawkins' words were stern and direct, they soothed Kid's nerves. Still attached to Law by the sling, he listened to his shallow breathing, begging him to hold on.
"Huwwy…" Hawkins was taken aback by the amount of compassion Kid had for Law. A man who earned his 315,000,000 Beli bounty by slaughtering those who dared to laugh at him…was begging Basil to save another rival.
They are either in love, or the apocalypse is upon us. The blond concluded as he rushed through the backstreets. Law's hat never flew off for some reason, no matter how fast they were going (magic!) and they reached Basil's ship in minutes. By then, his white coat sleeves had been colored red from carrying Law bridal-style.
The doctor was able to stop the bleeding and set the break, but he was not equipped to do anything further. Knowing that the Heart Pirate crew probably had more skills than his own doctor, Hawkins rushed the two back to Law's crew. It was a rather awkward experience for them all.
**End flashback**
While Law struggled to absorb the information given to him, Kid had nodded off. It was a hectic day, especially for a child his size. Bepo handed his captain a folded piece of paper moments later. He opened it, and in sharp, angular handwriting, it said:
I hope to see you alive in the New World.
-Basil Hawkins
"Great. I owe a voodoo-loving girly-man my life," Law sighed. He looked at Penguin, "Orange juice, please?" Penguin nodded and ran to the kitchen for Law's drink. He was about to take some painkillers and go to sleep when a very irksome sound rang out…
Bellup-bellup-bellup! Bellup-bellup-bellup!
"The Den Den? Bepo, bring it to me!" the fluffy bear complied. He picked it up with Bepo still holding it. "Hello?"
"Trafalgar Law. We've got her. We've got Bonney."
Oooh, semi-dramatic ending~!
Okay, I have some splainin to do! A). I have no idea if the Sabaody bubbles can do that, I just wanted something to happen with them. B). Hawkins is another one of my Supernova bitches, so I just threw him in there for fun. C). Well, I originally wanted to have rabid mothers go maternal and, erm, end up getting breast milk all over Kid and Law, forcing them to return home and clean up. I changed it because it would be REALLY gross, there's been enough crazy women in this fic, and it would mean more baby nudity, which would make one of my endings seem disgusting. I went with Dragons. It honestly makes the ending easier for me.
Okay, I think that's all. Oh, wait, Law couldn't use Room or Shambles, because he left his nodachi behind, and without it, his power is damn near useless. Incase I forgot to mention it, Kid was in the baby sling the entire time. The bathroom episode from the last chapter will be explained later.
NOW WE'RE DONE! Please, for the love of all that's Oda, REVIEW! And, maybe, go to my profile and answer my poll...?