"...And then Ronnie-kins tackled the bloke, squealing about how he was Santa Clause - and it turned out to be Percy!"

George let out a loud, barking laugh, and the rest of the room soon joined in. Ron's cheeks burned in embarrassment.

"It didn't happen like that" he protested.

The week since they'd left Hogwarts had passed quickly; Christmas day had finally arrived. So far, it had been a cheerful affair, with delicious food that Mrs. Weasley had cooked up and cheerful carols to lighten the mood.

Currently, everyone was seated in the living room, exchanging stories of Christmases from their pasts.

"I have one!" Sirius grinned. "There was this one time when James was trying to pick out the best present to give Lily for Christmas - mind you, this was before they'd gotten together -"

"Oh Merlin" groaned Remus, realizing what Sirius was talking about.

"- And then, there was this cloak that Lily really wanted - how James found out about that, I'll never know - so James bought it for her. And instead of giving it to her like a normal person would, he decided that he'd magic it onto her."

Sirius paused for dramatic effect.

"Of course" he laughed. "He messed up the spell and ended up vanishing all of her clothes!"

There was a stunned silence for a moment; then the room exploded with laughter.

"Oh Merlin!" Harry gasped, his eyes wide. "How did Dad manage to survive that?!"

"Let's just say, Harry" Sirius shook his head, still smiling. "It's a miracle you were even born after everything that went on between those two!"

England observed the scene, taking in the joyous emotions throughout the room. It was nice actually; he didn't usually have such...pleasant Christmas'. He hadn't in a long time, not since America was his colony.

"Arthur, dearie?" Both England and Mr. Weasley glanced up.

"Oh not you" Mrs. Weasley laughed, shaking her head at her husband. She turned to England. "Do you have any stories to share?"

"No" England shook his head. "Not really."

"Oh, come now" Hermione, who was seated across the room with Ron and Harry, urged. "Surely there must be something."

"Yeah, Arthur" Sirius added, a hint of antagonism in his voice. "We've all had something to say."

"Alright then" England replied, narrowing his eyes. "Let's see...oh, here's a good one!"

He smiled and settled himself back, preparing himself to tell the tale. Of course, he would have to modify it but it was a story that he wouldn't have to change too much.

"So" he smiled. "When my younger brother was just a child -"

"Oh" gasped Hermione, cutting him off. "You never mentioned you had a younger brother!"

England glanced at the girl, giving her an odd glance. Why on earth would he have ever told her he had a younger brother? Ron voiced his thoughts aloud.

"Hermione" the red-head said, slowly. "Why would he have told you he had a brother?"

Hermione's cheeks went red and she glared at Ron. "I was just curious, alright Ronald" she snapped.

"Ooooh" gasped the twins, at the same time. "Ronald!"

"Oh shut up" Ron grumbled.

"All of you be quiet!" snapped Mrs. Weasley. "Arthur's trying to talk - aren't you, dear?"

"Ah, yes" England shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose I should continue...where was I?"

"Your younger brother" Mr. Weasley prompted.

"Yes, yes" England nodded. "My brother, back when he was still a child - back when he was very young" he amended, realizing that he'd need to word the story so that the age differences didn't seem too strange. "He -"

"Whats he like? Your brother, I mean" England half expected the question to be from Hermione; to his surprise, it was Ginny Weasley who had asked him. England really didn't know much about the girl and, unlike certain people (...Hermione Granger) she hadn't gone out of her way to talk to him. She'd barely said a word to him all week, despite the fact that they were staying at the same house.

"He's -" annoying, self-centered, obnoxious, loud, annoying... "- my brother."

Ginny gave him an odd look but didn't say anything else.

"Yes, well" England coughed. "Am - Alfred...that's his name...he wanted to know who 'Santa Claus' was. The little brat had insulted my scones earlier that day so I was in a rather bad mood at the time."

He let out a small laugh.

"So yes...anyway, when Alfred asked me, I considered telling him the story of Santa Claus the way you all probably know it."

'Or not' England added, silently. 'Since the story has probably changed a lot since then...'

"But" he continued, ignoring his thoughts. "Then I thought; the brat had the nerve to insult my cooking. So I told him -"

"Wait, wait" Sirius cut him off. "How old were you?"

"Older than him" England replied, without hesitation. "Anyway, as I was saying - I was annoyed. So, instead of telling him that Santa Claus was a jolly old fellow who travelled around the world delivering presents...I told him that he was a big, fat pedophile who crept into houses in the middle of the night and stole little children out of their beds."

He let out a loud, barking laugh. No one joined in; they were too busy staring at him with wide eyes.

"I forgot a small detail though" England continued, grinning widely at the memory of the story he was telling. "You see, my younger brother Matthew - that's Alfred's twin - was staying with me that year. Because of this, his caretaker, Francis, had asked me if he could pretend to be Santa Claus that year and deliver Matthew's gifts. Apparently it was some silly little tradition of theirs."

It had been after England had won Canada from France; France had been distraught and had practically begged England to allow him to do this for Canada. England, as much as he'd hated the bloody Frog, hadn't been able to refuse the pathetic look on his enemy's (and, at times, friend) face.

"His caretaker?" Sirius frowned. "I don't get it. He's your brother, isn't he? Why doesn't he live with you? Speaking of which, how much younger are your brothers, anyway?"

"It's too hard to get into my family's dynamics" England replied, swiftly. "Let's not get into it. Back to the story - Francis had planned to dress up as Santa Claus and deliver Matthew's presents. Alfred, who was terrified from the story I'd told him..." England let out a small laugh. "Sat downstairs in the living room, too afraid to go to sleep in case Santa Claus came for him."

"He was sitting downstairs when Francis came into the house...and then Alfred saw him. He, of course, came to the conclusion that it was the 'real' Santa Claus, come to take him away..." 'The fact that 'Santa Claus' had happened to look like the perverted frog certainly hadn't helped matters.' "And well...Alfred tried to defend himself. And, well, to put things simply..."

England collapsed on the floor in laughter.

"...I came downstairs to see what the commotion was about and he...he...he'd set the Frog's arse on fire!"

England choked on his laughter, tears streaming down his face. He clutched at his sides, struggling to breathe.

"Dear Lord" he gasped. "Francis, he just...ran out of the house, screaming his arse off and Alfred...he just ran after him, screaming about how he was a pervert and out to steal all the little children...all the villagers heard and believe him...dear lord, you can just imagine their reactions - they were just closing in on Francis, and the Frog was trying to stop the fire..."

England choked off, unable to continue speaking through his laughter.

Everyone else simply stared at him with wide, slightly horrified eyes.

...

"Hurry up, hurry, up, we're going to be late!" Mrs. Weasley ushered everyone out of the house, sounding frazzled.

"Calm down, Molly" Mr. Weasley soothed. "We won't be late. Everyone's ready now -"

"Oh no!" gasped Ginny. "I left my potions textbook upstairs! Give me a moment - I'll just go and get it -"

"Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, sounding exasperated.

"Harry" Harry turned around to see Sirius staring at him. "Mind if I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure" Harry walked over to his godfather and smiled at him. "Is everything alright?"

"What? Oh, yeah" Sirius nodded. He hesitated for a moment, before pulling Harry into a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you, pup" he murmured.

"I'll write to you" Harry promised. "I'll be really subtle about it too, just in case the ministry really are intercepting messages."

"I look forward to it" Sirius smiled. A moment later his smile faltered and he hesitated for a moment, before continuing.

"Harry" he said. "Take care of yourself, alright? And be careful with that Kirkland fellow, alright?"

Harry frowned. "Is there something wrong with him?" he asked. "Something you aren't telling me? You seem a bit...tense around him."

Sirius blinked. "Oh, um..." he hesitated. "I just don't...fully trust him. That's all" he shuffled his feet, looking uncomfortable.

"But why?" Harry pressed. "There has to be a reason."

"It's just...his story" Sirius sighed. "I mean, tell me you didn't notice holes in it!"

"What do you mean?" Harry frowned.

"Well..." Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Those kids he was talking about - Matthew and Alfred. The way he was talking, if was like they were living with him. Like he was raising them. Look at the bloke - he has to be in his early twenties."

"It isn't that strange" Harry frowned. "He never told you their age - they could still be very young -"

"He said 'when he was still a child'" Sirius cut him off. "As his brother wasn't one anymore. It's a bit strange, don't you think?"

"I think your assuming too much" Harry reasoned. "I mean, Professor Kirkland never said he'd raised the kid. He only said that he was his younger brother."

"I guess" Sirius sighed. "It's just, the way Kirkland was talking. It was as if, when it had all happened, he was already grown up. It's...it's strange, that's all. Also..." his voice trailed off and he shook his head. "Never mind."

"What?" Harry pressed. "What is it?"

"Well...I think...I think I've seen him before" Sirius said, hesitantly. "Back when -"

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley appeared in front of them, looking frazzled. "Come on dear, we need to leave now or you'll miss the train!"

"Never mind, it isn't important" Sirius said, shaking his head. "Just me, getting paranoid with old age." He let out a strained little laugh.

"Sirius -"

"Take care, pup" Sirius leaned down and ruffled Harry's hair. "Just don't trust the guy too much, alright?" he whispered and leaned back.

Still frowning, Harry allowed himself to be dragged away by Mrs. Weasley.

What made Sirius so suspicious of Professor Kirkland?

...

AN:

Aaaaaaaaand here's another chapter :D

Thank you for all your reviews :D I hope you continue to enjoy the story!