After wondering for days (and missing Christmas while doing so) America and Russia finally arrived at a breakthrough.
America's brilliant plan of 'asking around and hoping someone knew what Hogwarts was' had, so far, been a complete waste of time. All the two nations had received were a bunch of odd glances, and one address to a mental asylum (where, apparently, they belonged).
They'd been ready to give up, until they had stumbled across a boring old street named 'Privet Drive.'
"...Dude, what the hell is up with this place?" America muttered. "I swear, all of these houses are exactly the same."
"Da" Russia agreed. "If this was my country, I'd burn it down."
"So..." America glanced down the street. "Should we...uh...start door knocking?"
Russia shrugged. "I do not know what else we would do."
"Right..." America nodded his head and walked up to a random house. He knocked on the door.
"You know" he told Russia, as the nation came up to stand beside him. "We really should have come up with a better plan. This...really isn't working."
"It was your plan" Russia pointed out.
"Well yeah" America shrugged. "I didn't know what else to do."
"You told me you know where Hogwarts was" Russia retorted.
"Well...yeah" America shrugged again. "You were going to kill England. What else could I do?"
The door opened and an extremely unattractive female poked her head outside a moment later. Her eyes raked over them, taking in Russia's attire (the nation, as usual, was dressed up for heavy winter) and America's messy appearance. Her nose crinkled in disgust.
"What?" she spat, looking ready to close the door in their face.
"Well" America said, preparing to repeat the same words he had said repeatedly since he'd entered the country. "We were just wondering if you know we're Hogwarts was."
There was a moment of silence.
"I...I don't know what you're talking about!" the woman snapped, her voice filled with panic. "What's Hogwarts? How do you expect me to know these things?! Go away!"
She slammed the door in their faces.
"...She knows something" America stated.
"Da" Russia agreed.
The two exchanged glances.
"Okay, Big Guy" America pat Russia on the back. "Break it down."
"I will break you down, if you call me "Big Guy" ever again" Russia muttered. He lifted his pipe, prepared to bring it down on the door. Before he could, it opened again, revealing a plump (...no, that was much to kind. Hugely obese was a better word) man standing on the other side.
The man's eyes widened in horror when he caught sight of the pipe.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he howled, leaping out of the way. America winced as he watched how the man's stomach fat flapped around, as if it had a mind of it's own.
Russia lowered his pipe, looking slightly disappointed.
"Dude" America exclaimed. "Calm down, alright? We just wanted to know if you knew where Hogwarts was -"
"I told you!" shrieked the woman, once again making an appearance. "They're freaks! They're freaks!"
"Hey!" America protested. "I think 'freaks' is a little harsh - I mean, maybe that guy is" he gestured towards Russia. "But trust me, I am no freak - I'm much too heroic for that!"
"Vernon" sobbed the woman. "Call the police!"
"Oh come on" America moaned. "You obviously know where Hogwarts is! Just tell us and we'll leave you alone!"
"GET OUT!" howled the man. "I'M DONE WITH YOU FREAKS! LEAVE US ALONE - THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER LIVING IN THIS HOUSE!"
"...Harry Potter?" America glanced at them oddly. "I never mentioned a Harry Potter."
"Of course not" the man's eyes widened in panic. "Neither did I!"
"...No" America was starting to wonder about the man's sanity. "You did."
"Shut up!" the man snapped. "I know what I said!"
"Dude" America shook his head in disbelief. "You definitely mentioned a Harry Potter."
"Da" Russia rejoined the conversation. "You did."
"There. Is. No. Harry. Potter. Living. Here" the man ground out. In the background, the woman continued to ball her eyes out.
America raised one eyebrow. "Suit yourself" he said. Turning around to face the street, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted; "DO THESE DUDES KNOW A GUY NAMED HARRY POTTER?!"
The woman shrieked.
The man spluttered.
Russia smiled and raised his pipe.
"Stop it!" the woman wailed. "The neighbours will hear! Oh god, Vernon, stop them -"
"That's right" America smirked. "The neighbours will hear. Hey, maybe they'll tell us where Hogwarts is!"
"No, no!" the woman waved her hands wildly. "Don't be silly, how would they know? They aren't freaks! They aren't freaks!"
"You know" Russia pointed out. "Are you freaks?"
The man's face turned red. "Of course not!" he snapped. "We are perfectly normal British citizens. We haven't done anything wrong - we aren't freaks. Now leave us alone."
"...Are you sure you're neighbours won't know?" America smiled, threateningly.
"It's our nephew you want!" the woman wailed. "He's the freak, not us! We don't know anything about that place!"
"Alright then" Russia smiled pleasantly. "Does you nephew live here? We will talk to him."
"No!" the man snapped. "He isn't here! He isn't going to be back for a long time - he's at that freak school of his! Now go away!"
"But he lives here, right?" America pressed. "So he must have a room or something...can we look in there?"
Maybe their nephew - Harry, did they say his name was? - had left behind something that would give them a clue about how to find Hogwarts...it was the best lead they had at the moment.
"You freaks aren't coming in our house!" the man snapped. "Just go back to where you came from!"
"I came from America" America replied. "Except I can't go back until I find Hogwarts, or else this guy" he pointed at Russia. "Will murder my friend. For real dudes - he'd actually do it."
"Vernon" moaned the woman. "Do something."
Russia raised his pipe high in the air.
"You will let us in, da?" he smiled. "Or else I will be smashing you're head's in with my pipe."
The man turned deathly pale. The woman fainted.
Russia lowered his pipe, still smiling. Pushing the man out of the way, he gestured for America to follow him.
"Where is your nephew's room?" he asked the man, who was leaning against the wall and trembling. For a moment the man looked like he was about to argue; then he pointed a shaky hand upstairs.
"It's the second one" he muttered, sounding like he was about to throw up. Russia nodded his head.
"It is good that you are doing what we are telling you to" Russia told him.
"Yeah" America chirped. "It'd suck if Russia tried to kill you because then I'd have to save you - after all, I am the hero and all."
The two nations headed upstairs and stepped into the room they had been directed to. They looked around at the small space.
"So..." America thought for a moment. "I guess we should start...looking for some clues, right?"
"Da" Russia agreed.
...
An hour of searching the room, and all Russia and America had ended up with was an old, crumpled train ticket and a crudely drawn picture of a mutilated man with a snake face.
"I do not think that picture will be helping us much" Russia stated, as America continued to analyze the drawing through squinted eyes.
"Eh" America waved one hand in dismissal. "It's worth a shot. We don't have much to work with."
"We have this ticket" Russia pointed out, holding up the train ticket. "Perhaps it might help us."
America set the picture down and sighed.
"I guess" he muttered. Really, it was all they had. The sad thing was, it was the biggest breakthrough they'd had since they arrived in England.
America walked over and grasped the ticket. He stared down at it, as if he expected it to hold all the answers he needed.
"Kings Cross Station" he murmured. "Platform nine and three quarters."
"Nine and three quarters?" Russia's brow furrowed. "Englishmen are strange."
"Agreed" America set the ticket down. "Why can they just have normal platforms?"
"So..." America said, after a brief pause. "Should we, uh, go to the station?"
"Hmm?" Russia glanced at him. "Why would we do that?"
America shrugged. "I dunno...it might be a lead" he picked up the ticket again, and waved it in the air. "There might be people who know about Hogwarts - or this thing might lead us to Hogwarts itself! Who knows what we might find" he shrugged his shoulders. "Plus, it's not like we have anything else."
Russia considered this. "True" he admitted. "...Fine" he said, at last. "We will go there...after I take a nap."
America stared at him. "A nap?" he said, in disbelief. "Why the hell would you take a nap now?"
"I could not sleep in the plane with you snoring in my ear" Russia replied, ignoring America's loud protest of; "I wasn't snoring!"
The nation walked over to Harry's bed and lay down, wrapping his arms around himself and smiling.
"Wake me up and I will kill you."
America stood still, watching him with disbelieving eyes.
...
Petunia and Vernon watched from the small crack in the doorway.
"Are they gone?" Petunia whimpered, sounding horrified.
"...The big one's sleeping" Vernon replied, his voice shaking slightly. Petunia let out a moan and sunk to the floor in a dead faint.
...
On the train, Harry was telling Hermione and Ron about Sirius' warning.
"That's just weird" Ron said, shaking his head. "What? Did Sirius say why he didn't trust the bloke?"
Harry shrugged. "No, not really" he replied. "He just kept mentioning the story - and then he was going to tell me something else but your mum dragged me off before he could..."
"That was one weird story" Ron muttered. "I mean, what was up with that? Not even mum, who had been practically cooing over the guy since he walked into the house, had anything to say to that."
"I don't know" Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Do you guys...well, from the story, did you sort of get any...assumptions?"
"What do you mean by that?" Hermione asked, sounding confused.
"Well, Sirius says that he got the hint that, from the way Professor Kirkland was talking...it sounded like he had raised the kid."
"That isn't possible, Harry" Hermione pointed out. "Professor Kirkland looks to be in his early twenties. From what I could tell, that story happened a long time ago."
"I know, that's what I was trying to tell Sirius" Harry replied. "But he kept insisting that there were things in the story that didn't seem right."
"Well, there were" Ron said. "But I don't think the Professor raised the kid."
"...Yeah" Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Sirius was probably just getting the wrong idea."
"Yeah, probably" Ron turned to glance at Hermione and smirked slightly. "Hey, remember 'Mione with the Professor? 'Oh Professor - how could you not tell me you had a brother?!'"
Hermione went red. "That isn't what I said!" she snapped. "And I was just curious, alright Ron! Merlin, I can't even say anything nowadays, without everyone always making assumptions -"
"Oh calm down" Ron rolled his eyes. "I was only joking."
"Wonder what his brother's like?" Harry mused.
Ron snorted. "He's probably a lot like the Professor. A bit uptight...a bit strange...since Hermione probably won't say what's on her mind, I'll speak on her behalf: a bit dreamy..."
"Ron!" Hermione snapped.
Harry grinned. "Probably has massive eyebrows too" he added.
The three of them laughed, oblivious to the fact that they would be meeting the 'little brother' very soon.
...
"Is it sad to live forever?"
England whirled around. He was traveling by train with the rest of the students; he'd decided that it was much easier than arranging his own way to reach the school. It had been relaxing too; he'd managed to find an empty train carriage, and had spent his time in there, attempting to catch up on some sleep.
Until now.
"What did you say?" he demanded, staring at the figure in the doorway. A pale-haired girl stood there, gazing at him with a faraway look on her face. England remembered the girl immediately: Luna Lovegood.
"Is it sad to live forever?" Luna repeated. "I wanted to ask you for a while but you were always so busy."
"I...I don't know what your talking about!" England snapped. "Really, it's rude to just barge in here!"
Instead of replying, Luna simply stared at him for a moment.
"You're an old soul" she told him, at last, before turning around and walking away.
"...Unnatural child" England muttered, moments later.
For now, perhaps, he would dismiss her claims as the ramblings of a lunatic. After all, from the few encounters he'd had with the girl, he'd noted her peculiar habits. She even had a whole plethora of imaginary friends; ones she talked to on a regular basis!
"How ridiculous" England chuckled, leaning back in his seat. Something rubbed against his cheek and he opened his eyes.
"Flying Mint Bunny!" he exclaimed. "I was wondering where you'd gone off too - I haven't seen you in ages!"
Immediately forgetting about Luna Lovegood and her comments, England patted his (one hundred percent real) friend and conversed with him about everything he had been up to, and about the strangeness of Hogwarts.
...
AN:
Here's another chapter! I want to thank you guys for all your reviews - you're all amazing!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D
I posted a new fic out as well - it's an AU fic called "The Best Way To Screw Up A Wedding." I wanted to give writing a romance fic a shot. The pairings in this fic are Romerica, PoLiet, GerIta, FrUK and Canada/Belarus. If you guys are interested in reading it, you can find it on my profile. I've posted out two chapters so far.