Harry moved his food around his plate, trying unsuccessfully to build up his appetite.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked, glancing at him in concern. Ron also looked over and raised one eyebrow when he caught sight of what Harry was doing.
"Not eating, mate?" he looked down at Harry's plate. "Don't know how you can resist."
"I'm just thinking..." Harry sighed. "Dumbledore wants me to start some weird lessons with Snape...occluamence or something like that..."
"Occlumency" Hermione corrected him.
"Yeah, that" Harry nodded his head. Ron looked at them both in confusion.
"Ocla-what?" he frowned. "What is that. And why do you have to do it?"
"It's a technique of shielding your mind from outside threats" Hermione responded. She glanced at Harry, concern on her face. "Why does Professor Dumbledore think you need it?" she asked.
Harry shrugged. "As usual, he didn't really explain why" he responded, sourly. "You know; just the same old "don't worry about it Harry" and then he sent me on my way."
Ron looked surprised. "But...it's your head, mate" he exclaimed. "How are you not supposed to worry about it?"
"I don't know" Harry sighed. "Maybe I can figure it out from the lessons...who knows. Anyway, it doesn't matter much anyway. Voldemort hasn't been bothering me lately."
"Really?" Hermione pressed, her brow furrowing slightly. "Are you sure? Remember when you said -"
"Yeah, I know" Harry cut her off. "But...he's been pretty silent lately. It's actually a bit unnerving..."
"Why?" Ron looked at him in confusion. "He's silent, yeah? He isn't bothering you...thats a good thing, right?"
Harry sighed and looked unsure. "I guess..." he murmured. "But...well, it's Voldemort. He's up to something...and I don't know what it is. I don't know what he's planning."
"I'm sure everything will be fine" Hermione assured him, smiling comfortingly.
...
Bellatrix's eyes never once left Voldemort's as she faced him, standing as still as a statue and waiting for him to respond.
"So what you are asking" Voldemort said, at last. "Is why we are not making a move to gain hold of the prophecy?"
Bellatrix nodded her head.
"Yes" she replied. "That is right, Master."
Voldemort leaned forward slightly; his face was expressionless.
"Are you questioning my judgement?" he asked, his voice cold. Bellatrix's eyes widened and she shook her head wildly.
"No, never!" she gasped. "I'd never do that, Master! I was only wondering -"
"Oh were you?" Voldemort sneered. "Well, in my opinion, that is questioning my judgement."
"I am sorry, Master!" Bellatrix whimpered. "Please forgive me, I didn't know -"
Voldemort's eyes narrowed dangerously; she stopped abruptly and lowered her eyes to the floor. The silence stretched on for a long while; Voldemort finally spoke.
"The fools are expecting me to make a move" he sneered. "They think I will jump at whatever chance I have to gain control of the prophecy. They will not be expecting this. They will not be expecting...nothing."
He smiled, coldly.
"They can waste their energy for as long as they like. They can continue to think they are safe...and then, when they least expect it, I'll make my move."
"And...what of...Potter?" Bellatrix's voice oozed with hesitation.
Voldemort smiled again; a bone chilling smile.
"He will be helping us, of course."
...
The next morning, Russia and America left the Dursley house, much to the relief of Vernon and Petunia, who had spent the night curled up on the sofa, unable to fall asleep.
They made there ways to Kings-cross Station and, after stopping more than a few times to ask for directions, they finally reached their destination.
"...So" America said, as he stared at the wrinkled ticket grasped in his hands. "We should go and find platform nine and three quarters..."
"Da" Russia nodded his head. The two nations looked at each other for a moment, and then at the crowded station. America frowned.
"For some reason I'm getting the feeling that we aren't going to find it very easily" he sighed.
"I hate wizards" Russia said, in response.
The two nations moved through the crowd, bumping into people, muttering apologies, and struggling to see through the hoards of people.
"This is ridiculous" Russia muttered. "Can I not simply scare them away with my pipe?"
"No" America snapped. "We want to end up in Hogwarts, not a jail cell."
"I can't see anything!" Russia grumbled. "Can you?"
"Um...I think I see platform nine..." America muttered, standing on his toes and squinting ahead of him. "And uh...platform ten is over there...I can't see a nine and three quarters, though."
Russia pushed him out of the way and, ignoring America's angry cries of indignation, took a look for himself.
"You are correct" he sighed, a moment later. "There is no nine and three quarters."
The two nations stared desolately at the floor for a moment. America sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated.
"I don't get it!" he cried. "It has to be here! Unless this is some sort of prank ticket..." he flapped the ticket in the air. "That would just suck!"
Russia walked up to the nearest person - a woman in a business suit - and tapped her on the shoulder. She whirled around, looking slightly alarmed when she caught sight of him.
"Yes?" she asked, her eyes wide as she studied his large build.
"Do you know where platform nine and three quarters is?" Russia asked. The woman shook her head.
"Never heard of it" she responded. "Sorry."
She hurried off and disappeared into the crowd. Russia turned around and shrugged at America. Frowning, America walked up to another person - a man this time - and nudged him.
"Excuse me" he said, when the man turned around. "Could you tell us where nine and three quarters is?"
The man let out an annoyed curse.
"Look kid, I'm not in the mood for any pranks, alright?" he snapped. "I'm already late for work and the damn train won't come - dammit."
"Dude!" America held up his hands. "I was only asking where the platform was -"
"Are you some sort of idiot?" the man snorted. "There is to platform nine and three quarters. What the hell is nine and three quarters?"
The man stormed off into the crowd, leaving gaping America in his wake.
"Dude" America muttered. "That guy is psycho."
For the next hour or so, Russia and America continued to travel through the crowd, asking people if they knew where platform nine and three quarters was. Every response was met with a 'no' and occasionally, some other comment.
"I'm getting flashbacks to when we first arrived in England" America sighed. Russia nodded his head at him and walked over to a nearby woman. He smiled at her and showed her his pipe.
"Tell me where platform nine and three quarters is, or I will be smashing you with my pipe, da?"
The woman's eyes widened in horror. She backed away, let out a scream and ran away.
"Russia!" America hissed. "You can't do that!"
"I can do what I want" Russia responded, tucking his pipe away and smiling pleasantly at America. "I am Russia after all."
"You can't just go around threatening people!" America snapped. "It's not how things work!"
"It works for me" Russia responded. He headed off in the opposite direction; letting out an angry exclamation, America followed behind him.
"This is your fault, you know" America told him, as they walked. "If you hadn't been so desperate to come after Iggy, we wouldn't be stuck in this stupid station -"
"You told me you knew where Hogwarts was" Russia responded, cutting him off. "If you had not said that, I would have made other arrangements to find it."
"Well...you should know by now, not to listen to me!" America snapped.
"Da, I should" Russia agreed. "But still, it is your fault."
"Is not!"
"Da."
"Oh god" America clenched his fists and glared viciously at Russia. "Stop it with all the 'da's' their driving me insane! It's all you ever say! Da, da, da, da! Well guess what, Big Guy? I can say 'da' too! You aren't that special!"
"...You are crazy" Russia told him, nodding his head.
"Yeah well you know what I have to say to that?" America flung his arms in the air and threw back his head. "DA!"
"At least I do not mangle the language of another country, and create words that grate on a persons ears" Russia responded, calmly.
"Oh well then - da to that too!"
"You do not even know what you are saying!" Russia let out a small laugh.
"Well da-fucking-da!" America let out a loud laugh. "Say what you want you Commie-Bastard, I really don't give a shit! This whole trip is fucking bullshit, you know that? We're never going to find Hogwarts - I'm going home. You can do whatever the fuck you want, I'm not sticking around -"
Russia, still smiling, picked up up and flung him at a nearby wall.
"You will shut up now" he said.
"I HATE YOU!" America howled, as the hurtled through the air. He closed his eyes, waiting for the bone-shattering impact that he knew was coming...
...It never came.
He opened his eyes.
"Am I dead?" he muttered. Looking around with slightly dazed eyes, he realized that the crowds of the station were gone. He was all alone, lying on a train platform, inches away from the tracks. He stood up and backed away. His eyes flickered around, looking for something to help him figure out where he was.
His caught sight of a nearby sign and his eyes widened.
"Platform nine and three quarters!" he cried. "Seriously, what the hell?!" he added, a moment later. "This is just weird. How the hell did I get here?"
He replayed the previous scene through his mind, trying to figure out what had happened for him to arrive here. He'd been arguing with Russia...the other nation had flung him at the wall...
His eyes drifted over to where the brick wall was and he stood up. He made his way over, hesitantly. He stood in front of the wall for a moment and then reached out and slowly rested his hand against the wall.
It sunk right through.
With a cry of shock, America jerked his hand back. A grin spread across his face.
"Dammit, you Commie-Bastard!" he laughed. "You actually did something right for once in your life!"
He bounded right through the wall and ended up on the other side. America glanced around, trying to catch sight of his rival.
"RUSSIA!" he called out, running over to where the other nation was standing. Russia raised one eyebrow at him, looking curious.
"You do not seem angry" he noted.
"Fuck no!" America grinned. "I just found platform nine and three quarters!"
"Da" Russia nodded. "It is through the wall."
"...What?" America's smile faded and he stared at him. "How do you know that?"
"I threw you at the wall" Russia replied. "You went straight through. Moments later you come up to me saying that you know where the platform is...it does not take a genius to figure it out."
"...Shut up" America scowled slightly. "Whatever, I found the platform, alright? Let's just go!"
"I found the platform" Russia corrected him, but followed anyway. Both nations walked straight through the wall, without a moments hesitation. They ended up on the other side within seconds; America glanced around, looking ecstatic.
"This is awesome!" he laughed. "We found the platform - and it's obviously magical! Now we only have to wait for a train to arrive and we'll probably be on our way!"
"Da" Russia agreed, taking a seat down on the cold concrete. "For now, we will wait."
...
They waited for another three hours; no train came.
"...I do not think there is a train" Russia said, at last.
"Oh come on" America sighed, staring miserably at the tracks. "There has to be. This is a train platform, for crying out loud!"
"I do not think the train will be coming today" Russia responded. "Perhaps we should simply follow the tracks?"
"What? No!" America looked horrified at the idea. "Who knows how long that would take us?!"
"You could use the exercise" Russia told him. America's expression darkened with rage.
"Shut up!" he spat. "I'm not fat! You're one to talk!"
Ignoring him, Russia stood up and began to walk forward. America leapt to his feet and jogged to catch up with him.
"Where are you going?" he demanded.
"I am walking" Russia responded. America stood still for a moment; then, with a sigh, he began to follow the other nation.
...
"Hello Hagrid" England nodded his head and smiled at the half-giant. Hagrid walked up to him, grinning widely.
"Arthur!" he greeted. "I was wonderin' if yeh were gunna come by or not."
"Yes, well" England pet the air near his shoulder; Hagrid stared at him in confusion.
"Eh?" he muttered. "Wha' are yeh doin'?"
"Petting Flying Mint Bunny" England responded. Hagrid stared at him, blankly. "Actually, that's why I'm here" the nation continued. "You teach Care of Magical Creatures, am I correct? I've decided to allow you to use Flying Mint Bunny for a couple of lessons! How does that sound?"
"Eh..." Hagrid stared at him, blankly. "You eh...say tha' this Flyin' Mint Bunny is in tha room righ' now?"
"Right here!" England pet the space near his shoulder again; Hagrid continued to stare at him.
"Eh...tha should be fine" Hagrid looked like he wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sure tha class'll love...Flyin' Mint Bunny..."
"Excellent!" England beamed at Hagrid, before exiting through the door of the half-giants hut.
"Hopefully this will convince people of Flying Mint Bunny's existence..." England muttered, shaking his head and laughing gleefully. He pet his (one hundred percent real) friend and smiled.
...
AN:
A lot more England in the next chapter, I promise :D
Hope you enjoyed this chap; more will be coming soon! :D :D :D
Also, I've posted out a crack!one-shot called 'The Matchmaking Catastrophe.' If you like to check it out, its on my profile :D