England was in a lovely place.
It was a place where unicorns galloped around freely; while fairies fluttered around your head, letting out tinkering laughs. It was a place where Flying Mint Bunny could be seen by all.
Best of all, it was a place where America had never rebelled, and where France licked the ground that he walked on.
...And then he woke up.
"Arthur!" yelled a voice from outside of his room; this was followed by a string of knocking. "Open tha door, tha's someone 'ere ta see yeh."
Arthur frowned for a moment, trying to place the voice in his sleep deprived mind. A moment later he realized; it was Hagrid.
"Bloody hell," he grumbled, pulling himself out of bed. He glanced at a nearby mirror and grimaced; he looked a mess.
'Bloody bed-hair,' he thought, as he made his way over to the door.
"What is it?" he asked, once he had opened the door. "What's going on? Don't you know the time -"
He paled.
"Ello," Hagrid said, smiling broadly. "Yeh have some visitors 'ere. Yer brother an' friend."
"...What the bloody fuck do you think you're doing here?!"
America gave England a wide, cheerful grin. "Hey Iggy!" he exclaimed. "Dude, you have no idea how hard it's been to find you! Rus - er, Ivan and me have been looking everywhere."
"You...you..." England struggled to control his breathing. His eyes flickered to Russia, who was standing next to America, his usual creepy-pleasant expression on his face, and he struggled not to...to...well, do something he'd probably regret.
(Or maybe not, if it would rid himself of the bloody yank).
"Wha's wrong?" Hagrid sounded confused. "Yeh aren't happy?"
"Of course I'm not bloody happy!" England glared, viciously. "Why the hell would I be happy?!"
"Aww, come on Iggy!" America continued to grin. "Of course you're happy to see me! I'm your favourite nation!"
England glared at him.
"...I mean, person."
"Enough of this nonsense," Russia interrupted. "We have business to discuss, Arthur."
"Oh, go home!" England snapped. "It's too bloody late for any of this...and I'm still not fully convinced that this isn't some messed-up nightmare..."
Hagrid continued to watch, confusion etched onto his face.
"We will be talking," Russia replied, coldly. "I've wasted enough time searching for you."
"No one asked you to!" England snapped. He whirled around to glare at America. "And you stop bloody smiling! This isn't funny!"
"Aww, but Iggy -"
"Stop bloody calling me that!"
"Leave, big man," Russia said, to Hagrid. "I have business to discuss with the Englishman."
"I...eh..." Hagrid looked unsure of what to do.
"Why the bloody hell did you bring them here?!" England demanded. "Why did you even let them into the school?!"
"Well...'e said 'e was Alfred. Yer brother." Hagrid frowned slightly. "'e is, isn't he?"
England simply scowled in response.
"An' Dumbledore said it'd be alrigh'...I didn't think there'd be a problem."
"Oh Dumbledore did, hmm?" England scowled deeper. "Well...bloody hell! I have to have a talk with him."
He stormed past Hagrid, Russia and America, and made his way down the corridor.
"Iggy, where are you going?" America called after him. "Don't you want to tell us what you've been doing?"
"Arthur!" Russia yelled. "I have things to discuss with you - stop now, or I will be forced to bring my pipe down on your head."
"Dude!" America cried, in protest. "You can't do that! Remember what I said - no hurting Iggy!"
"Shut the bloody hell up!" England howled.
Hagrid, looking completely blank, followed behind the nations.
"I can't bloody...how dare you..." England was still cursing under his breath moments later, as he continued to walk down the corridor. "Can't I get a bloody minute to myself?"
"Dude...I think you should speak to Russia..." America glanced at the larger nation, nervously. "...I seriously think he's going to kill you if you don't -"
"Shut the bloody hell up," England snapped. "I will not speak to Ivan."
"That is too bad," Russia interjected. He stroked his pipe and smiled.
"Actually dude, I kind of want to speak to you too," America admitted. "I mean, you've been hanging here for a while...you might know something."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," England snapped. "And even if I did, I wouldn't help."
"Yes you would," America argued. "Anyway, where are we going now?"
"I am going to have a little discussion with Albus," England replied. "And then you and that brute will be going home!"
"Dude, Russia won't take no for an answer," America responded. England simply scowled in response.
"Do you like my pipe?" Russia questioned, smiling at Hagrid. The half-giant swallowed and stared back, nervously.
"It's...eh, yer have a nice pipe, alrigh'."
"It is good that you said that." A menacing twinkle shone in Russia's eyes; Hagrid quickly quickened his footsteps.
"Can you wait outside until I'm done?" England growled. "I mean - you aren't going to be here long -"
"Iggy dude, I'm serious, I don't think Rus - err..." his voice trailed off as England's scowl deepened. "Ivan will be taking no for an answer - he's pretty determined."
"I don't care -"
"'Ey, stop there fer a minute." America and England stopped walking and turned to stare at Hagrid.
"What?" England asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
"Tha's Snape's office," Hagrid said, pointing at a door. "Tha's voices comin' from inside."
"So?" England prepared to start walking again. "What's the big deal? It's probably Severus."
"Severus?" America snorted. "Dude, what is up with you English guys? You all have the weirdest names."
"I don' think there'd be anyone abou' at this time o' nigh'," Hagrid pointed out.
England sighed. "Fine then." He walked over to the room. "Let's just check that everything's alright, and then I'm going to Albus' office, alright?"
He opened the door.
...
When the door opened fully, revealing who was on the other side, Harry felt his insides grow cold.
"Ey, wha' are ye doin' in thar?" Hagrid demanded, his eyes narrowing at the sight of them.
Harry ignored him; his eyes were focused solely on the person standing in front of Hagrid.
Professor Kirkland.
"Bloody hell," the man cursed. "What are you lot doing in Severus' office at this time of night?"
"What do we do?" Ron, who had spoken, sounded shaky and terrified.
Harry couldn't seem to find his voice; he continued to stare with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.
"I'm guessing you three do not have permission to be here?" Professor Kirkland sounded irritated. "Bloody hell - I'm going to have to deal with this now, aren't I?"
"You were dead," Harry finally managed to choke out.
"Pardon?" The Professor's eyebrows drew up (despite the confusion clouding him, Harry couldn't help but take note of their enormity). "What did you say?"
"You were dead." This statement, repeated in a louder voice, caused the professor's eyes to grow wide.
"Excuse me?" Professor Kirkland swallowed. "What do you mean by that?"
"You died!" Harry wondered how many times he would have to repeat himself. "I saw - in Snape's penseive - Voldemort...he killed you!"
"Wha' are they on abou'?" Hagrid asked, looking bewildered. "Who died?"
"Someone died?" Harry's eyes drew up to a figure standing beside Professor Kirkland. The boy (or perhaps man - Harry couldn't really tell) was unfamiliar.
"No," Professor Kirkland snapped. "Now, don't you start asking questions!"
The boy ignored Professor Kirkland's warning, and repeated his previous statement. "Somebody died?"
"Somebody will die, if the Englishman doesn't start talking," growled another man, smiling pleasantly despite his menacing words.
"Who are those people?" Hermione whispered.
"Shut up!" Harry jumped, thinking that the Professor had been talking to them; instead he was glaring at the two strangers.
"I told you," he growled, "I don't know anything about whatever bloody bullshit you are on about!"
"I would think carefully about your words, da?"
"Don't ignore us!" Harry's voice was filled with anger, despite the fear wracking his body. "You...are you even Professor Kirkland?"
His eyes widened as the possibility struck him.
"What?" Professor Kirkland's eyes darkened. "What the bloody hell are you on about?"
"Dude!" one of the stranger's - the younger one - eye's widened in shock. "You aren't Iggy?"
"Don't bloody call me that!" snapped the Professor. "And yes you idiot, who else would I be?!"
"Professor Kirkland is dead!" This time, it was Hermione who spoke. Her voice trembled slightly. "We saw it - we saw him get hit by the killing curse. He died."
"Eh?" Hagrid looked around, still confused. "Wha...Professor Kirklan' isn't dead."
"Yeah!" the younger stranger nodded his head. "I'd know if Iggy were dead!"
The older stranger's eyes glinted, menacingly. "He will be dead soon if I don't receive answers."
"No!" snapped the younger one. "I told you, no killing -"
"Would both of you buffoons shut up?!"
"We're going to tell Dumbledore," Harry warned. "He's going to know about this - he'll deal with you. You can't hide much longer -"
"Oh shut up," snapped the Professor. "Tell Dumbledore if you want - I honestly don't care. Right now, all I want is to get rid of those two." He waved a hand in the direction of the two strangers.
"But Dumb Whore said we could stay!" protested the younger stranger.
"Dumb - who the bloody hell are you on about?" Professor Kirkland shook his head in disbelief. "Anyway, I must be off now."
"No!" Harry glared at him. "Tell us who you are!"
Professor Kirkland sighed, and raised his eye's to meet his. "Harry?"
Harry's jaw clenched. "What?"
"Shut the hell up, and stop being annoying."
The Professor took a step out of the room, and was followed closely by the two strangers. Hagrid stood still, looking unsure of what to do.
"I still don' get wha's goin' on," Hagrid muttered, shaking his head.
"Oh my," Hermione whispered. "What...what do we do?"
"I should have pulled my wand out," Harry muttered, his expression dark.
Ron nodded in agreement. "Should've hexed the bloke."
"We need to speak to Dumbledore," Hermione said, her voice strained. "We need to tell him what we saw - what we know...the Professor...he might be dangerous."
"Or an impostor," Ron added.
"Ey, wha' are ye on abou'?" Hagrid demanded. "Impostor's? Really now - I don' wan' you spreadin' aroun' this type o' thin'."
"You don't understand, Hagrid," Harry denied. "What we saw..."
"Ye shouldn' be in 'ere anyway," Hagrid said. "Wha' if Snape foun' out?"
"Hagrid -"
"Come on, you lot. Go back ta yer rooms."
"We need to go to Dumbledore's office," Harry replied, hurriedly. "We have to tell him - now."
He hurried out the door and pushed past Hagrid, followed close behind by Hermione and Ron.
...
"But...Professor Kirklan' and tha rest o' em, are there..." Hagrid stared after the disappearing figures for a moment, wondering if he should follow.
A moment later he shook his head; it's not like he had any idea what was going on.
Turning away from the chaos, he headed back to his hut, looking forward to a good sleep.
...
AN:
So, America and Russia are finally at Hogwarts! The Golden Trio will be meeting them properly...soon...but first, well, they need to deal with their shock xD