Hierarchical Complexity

by IceHaze

Understanding and predicting the behaviors of humans requires extensive analysis. Understanding and predicting the behaviors of Uchiha Itachi requires a miracle.

8. VII Empirical

Disclaimer: The following contains content from Naoko Takeuchi and Masashi Kishimoto which has been screwed up by a warped individual to fit this particular's story's needs. Viewer discretion is advised.
Timeline: I barely know 'when' Naruto is, let alone this story.
Warnings: Beware the walkers behind you, Rick!
Author's Notes: How many months has it been? Oh well. Here's a chapter for you.
Dedications: I rarely do this and usually not at the beginning but thank you to my two betas and in particular, Chibi, whose adventures/antics with her friends and experience taking care of an elderly, crazy woman have made this chapter that much more entertaining.

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Empirical

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Never in eighteen years had he been reduced to indulging in such disgraceful acts. Even when he spent time with his brother, everything possessed a purpose, a basic principle behind the action—regardless of how petty or juvenile the activity would appear. Yet here he was, paying tribute to some child's wild imagination and absurdity. Had his coworkers took any visual notice of his current actions, he may have faced the ridicule of an entire entourage of professional, well respected and elite shinobi. How one girl was able to reduce him into such a vulnerable state of recklessness was a puzzle even the wisest sage would find a struggle to decipher. But he supposed it wasn't entirely her fault as he had given into the request rather easily.

"Are you still upset about doing this?"

"I can't believe you talked me into using these."

"Hey, it's not a bad plan. It actually makes sense when you think about it."

"Plan…normal. Execution…not quite what I had in mind. But I suppose I shouldn't be surprised given your record of stupidity."

"Hmph! Whatever. Let's talk about the first phase of the plan."

"Oh? You have a plan in mind already?"

"No, I just meant our codenames."

He blinked once. "What?"

"Every covert operation uses pseudo names in order to hide a person's identity. We should do the same in order to conceal our identities, lest the enemy discovers us."

He lifted an eyebrow and scanned the environment. "We're in my house trying to talk to my mother not in a jungle engaging in espionage."

"Yes, your mother. The final boss we have to defeat. Not to worry. Our courage and friendship will guide us down the right path and together we will smite her with our kunai of justice."

"What are you talking about? Look, I know this is difficult for you, but just be normal for a little while."

"But I am being normal!"

He grabbed her shoulder to fling her roughly into the house. "Just get in the house and look for my mother," he gritted out.

She rolled her eyes and stomped in agitation. "I hate you. You're no fun." After straightening her headset, she moved into the house with the most precise of concealing techniques. "Anyway, I'm in." Her back was against the wall of the corridor, and her feet began to move in a side motion. She began sliding against the wall as a result. "I'm starting down the main hallway."

"Good, keep an eye out. Follow the path you just entered in towards your right until you get to the end." He scrunched his face. "And stop sliding stupidly like you are. It's unnecessary."

Her eyes widened at his psychic skills. "How does he do that?" Despite his command, she continued to slide smoothly and looked over her shoulder when she made it to the edge. "Man, these things are amazing; they have good range," she giddily chirped out when she readjusted the headset resting on her ear. "I'm surprised we haven't used these things before. Think of how much fun we could have had using these all those times we got together."

"Usagi."

"Like using them to play some type of war reenactment or…or hide-and-seek and freeze tag..."

"Focus."

"…and spying on people…"

"Focus, focus."

"Oh, right. We can talk more about it later. I'm ready to play with these now."

"This isn't a game, Usagi. We're on a mission. Now will you please redirect your attention to the task at hand?"

"Okay, okay."

"Good. Now then, tell me, what position are you in?"

Her whole body was plastered back against the wall. She had two hands extended in each direction to maintain balance, one leg leaning a bit forward and the other stretching back to support her weight as she crouched low to the floor. "I'm thinking something along the lines of a warrior two—crane if I crouch more and lean in the direction of my torso."

Itachi's sigh was nothing more than static on Usagi's end. "I meant what is your current location, you stupid girl."

"Oh, right. Well I'm in the hallway that's leading right to the kitchen."

"Good. Now tell me, can you hear some singing or humming?"

Usagi covered the headset to hear Mikoto's voice echo through the hallway. "Yeah, I think it's your mother," she whispered.

"If my calculations are correct, she should be approaching the laundry room in approximately thirty seconds. She will then be preoccupied for another five minutes there. It will be the perfect opportunity for you to corner her."

"Got it. So I just wait until…what exactly?"

"When you hear a loud thud indicating she has set her basket down, go in for the kill."

"All right." She didn't have to wait long for the sound. Itachi's calculations were dangerously accurate and as soon as that loud thud reached her ears, she made her move towards the next hallway. "Okay, I'm going in."

"Good. I'll be on standby."

Despite his lack of presence, she nodded her response. "Wish me luck."

After no longer picking up reception, Itachi leaned back against the wooden rails of his porch. "Good luck."

He was hoping this attempt wouldn't end as unfavorably as the others. For a few weeks now, they had constantly tried to find a way to approach his mother and discuss the exact details of their friendship and how awry everything had gone from the moment of the interrogation. Fate, however, seemed to have other plans as they were never successful in breaking the news to her. In one instance, it was Mikoto's prior engagement to some friends she met at an herb shop. Then, it was her busy schedule for some volunteer work down at the academy. When he was certain she was free and restricted to the house, he was stopped, once again, by outside forces constantly meddling in by interrupting his mother's solitude. It was after trying every possible way he could think of to approach her did Usagi finally jump in with the idea of making it a priority mission involving the two of them. And he hoped that she would have much more success in discussing everything with his mother. Perhaps as a fellow female, she would lend much more attentive ears to her pleas.

Itachi sighed as he made a round of the house. So far, everything seemed to be going fairly well. The neighborhood was rather quiet minus the small amount of noise from the people nearby. It appeared as if the family was moving around some objects into the house. Other than that, the environment was rather peaceful. But it was best not take chances with unwanted attention. And he wanted to remain hidden to continue guarding his post, thus he moved away from the gates. This person, however, must have been a sharingan user, for Itachi was spotted regardless. And he cringed knowing a conversation was inevitable as soon as their eyes locked.

"Itachi-san, is that you?"

He smiled reluctantly. "Yes, how are you today?"

"Fine, fine. My wife just sent me out to bring some new furniture into the house. Unfortunately there's only so much me and the boys can do on our own." He smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his head as he pointed towards his eldest sons moving about with several pieces of bed frames and tables. "Say, if you're not too busy, would you care to help us out?"

"Actually, I am a little preoccupied."

"I promise it won't take too long. If you can help us get some of these chairs in, it will be sufficient. And with your strength, it shouldn't take too long."

He sighed softly while looking back at the house. It wasn't as if there was any other form of distraction for Usagi's mission. It all seemed to be in calm order. And so with a tired smile he nodded his confirmation of help and followed the man toward his house, looking back only once as if to assure himself there was nothing of great concern.

Despite the tranquility outside the house, there was an unsettling wind of anxiety within it. Usagi, who up until a few moments ago was casually strolling through the halls and reciting the anticipated dialogue for Mikoto, was now completely paralyzed in fear to her current spot.

"Itachi? Are you there? Come in, Itachi!" Usagi tapped harshly on the headset constantly to try and get it to work, possibly causing more damage in the process. She sucked in a large breath of air as the figure continued to move about. She had never expected Itachi's father to return once he left, and she mentally scolded Itachi for slacking off in his job as a guard. What was he doing outside if not his job?

Her feet's lack of cooperation restrained her from escaping back outside. And she was forced to rely on what speech spewed from her mouth. The only salvation in mind was her accomplice, and so she desperately continued to reach out for him. "Itachi, come on."

Usagi took a peek around the corner and spotted Fugaku near a closet holding some type of long object. When small flashes of light penetrated through the shoji doors and reflected the light off a metallic substance now ostensibly looking to be a sword, she nearly squeaked and snapped back, shivering silently in her little area.

"Itachi! He knows I'm here and he's trying to kill me! What do I do? What do I do?"

But there was still no answer from his receiving end, just loud sounds of feedback that caused Usagi to put away her headset momentarily due to the pain it inflicted on her ears. Not knowing what else to do, she took in her surroundings and found a room accessible from across the hall. That would mean, however, crossing the intersection of corridors and risk being caught by his father. But it was the only option. With a steady heartbeat, she mentally prepared herself and slid across the hall just in time before he took notice of her presence. And when she looked back around the corner, she noticed that the move was effective as he made no indication that he heard her skid across the tatami floor. After releasing her tension through series of steady breaths, she slid the door carefully open. The sounds of light squeaking from unoiled wood caused her to wince. But when she glanced back in the direction she assumed him to be and noticed he had, in fact, not come to investigate the noise, she felt her muscles relax once again. The imaginary sweat on her brow was wiped away, and she proceeded to close the door behind her; however, it became a difficult task when the shoji door would not budge.

"Come on, you stupid door. Just…" She grunted and groaned as she pulled on it. A jerk and a stumble later, the door slammed shut, and the force threw her back into the room.

"Who's there?" Fugaku demanded.

Usagi's hairs stood on end and she became more frantic of the footsteps entering the vicinity. She began to crawl about the room in various directions as a result of her panic. "What do I do? Where do I go? How do I…?" She swallowed hard to calm her nerves. "Okay, okay…gotta stay calm. I have to…I um…." More sweat began to fall down her brow as she now viewed the shadow lurking behind the door. Her mouth had become increasingly dry. Her surroundings were nothing but a blurred landscape, forgotten somewhere on the canvas. She was becoming more nervous with each footstep Fugaku took towards her, and it wasn't until the very last moment that she made an instinctive dive for the closet.

It was at that precise moment Fugaku slammed open the shoji doors. "Who's in here?"

"Oh, uh…it's…uh, just me," she giggled nervously and popped her head from her current location. "I…um, what are you doing here?"

"I forgot something I needed for work," he bit back as if it was irrelevant to her what he did or did not do in his own house.

Usagi assumed this to mean the katana he was holding. She wondered if he meant for it to be an item procured as evidence or a means to implement an execution. And realizing that the man before her had the power to put her life to an end without so much as leaving a piece of lint in his trail, she gulped and bowed her head low in submission.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, um…" The previous thoughts were momentarily forgotten as she was caught almost speechless to his question. She placed a thoughtful finger under her chin as she began to concoct whatever excuse first appeared in her mind. As she analyzed her environment, she immediately took notice that luck was bestowed upon her and she had fallen into none other than Itachi's room. In all the chaos, she had not even realized where it was her body was heading, but was glad instincts guided her to this location. But now it was imperative she give a liable excuse to Itachi's father who was not at all impressed by her intrusion in his household with the instinctual feeling that no permission had been granted to her from a parental authority. But there had to be a way out.

"I'm doing…" her eyes quickly darted around. She was horrible at making excuses and the only thing registering from her current panic attack was the neat pile of kunai nestled safely on a display case that undoubtedly belonged to Itachi. "…your son…"

Fugaku showed a momentary exposure of emotions as his eyes widened slightly at her bold words.

Usagi immediately turned red at the words that slid freely from her mouth. Remembering she was by the closet, she ducked in and immediately gathered a pile of dirty laundry and dumped it into a basket. "Clothes! I was doing your son's clothes! Well…uh…dirty laundry, heh heh, that is…I…um…" she was silenced by his cold and steady gaze.

"Why didn't you answer my call, then?"

"Huh?"

"Earlier, I was asking who was in here. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, I uh, didn't hear anyone calling. You see I tend to get distracted easily while I'm working because I'm so scatterbrained that I can never seem to pay attention. So I try to stay focused by blocking everything out, or I'll just get too clumsy." She slipped on a sleeve when she began to stand up and knocked the basket over, instantly reintroducing the memory of her grand entrance back at the interrogation room as well as validating her point. "See? I'm just always making a mess of things."

"Indubitably."

She cleared her throat and recuperated from the fall before lifting the basket into her hands. "Well, I'll just get back to Mikoto-san and start Itachi's laundry now."

Her nervous laughter and constant stuttering did nothing to eradicate his suspicions of her erratic behavior. "Strange that Mikoto never mentioned you were here."

"Well, heh, you know how she is. A bit forgetful…"

"Are you insulting my wife?"

"No! Not at all. I just meant that well, perhaps she forgets to inform you of my presence as it has become an instinctual move on her behalf to just assume that I'm a natural aspect of this household because she sees me as part of the family now and…." She was surprised she even managed the sentence in one go and the pattern was distinctively similar to something Itachi would speak. It was quite scary how much he could rub off on her.

Her weak smile soon became a solid frown, though, when his eyes darkened at her corrected response.

"And, I , I-I…better get these clothes to the laundry room now."

"I'm certain my son is more than capable of washing his own undergarments."

"Under…?" Usagi absentmindedly looked down slowly to the pile of clothes in the basket, noting the amounts of intimate wear within the collage of fabrics. She looked back at Fugaku and for a very brief moment, there was a small bout of awkwardness that caused the two to shyly avert their gazes. Why did things like this always happen to her?

"I will make note of your…efforts. But I assure you, the help is not required."

"But Mikoto-san…"

"Has left for some time now and is running some errands."

Usagi inwardly flinched. There was no point in making excuses. She was caught and Mikoto was gone.

"You might want to reconsider your endeavors at a more appropriate time."

She bowed her head in defeat and dragged her feet until she was completely out of the house and within a sufficient amount of distance from Fugaku . When he also retreated from the area entirely, she hopped onto the roof and grabbed her headset to let out a loud roar of frustration. "Stupid, Itachi! Where are you?"

A loud sound of feedback noise caused her to flinch. It was accompanied by a loud "Ow" as well.

"I'm right here. Stop screaming."

Her back collapsed onto the roof even as Itachi approached her.

"How did it go?"

The slow turning of her head and frown said it all.

"That bad, huh?"

"I actually never got a chance to talk to her. Your father interrupted."

"My father? How did he get inside?"

"That's what I'd like to know!"

"He must have come through the back."

"What does it matter? You were supposed to be on guard. How the heck did you even make it into Anbu?"

"It wasn't my fault. Some people wanted my help with moving some things. There was no way around it. Why was he here, anyway?"

"He was plotting to kill me."

"Don't exaggerate." He plopped down beside her, the fleeting wisps of white fluff passing by as his only distraction from the recent failure.

"He's plotting something. I know it."

He wanted to tell her to stop reading those stupid comics, that she was worrying for naught. But considering the look in his father's eyes when Usagi was even brought up in a conversation, he knew very well that her worries were justified.

"Don't worry about it."

"Yeah, okay." She released a heavy sigh and slowly opened her eyes to look at the clouds above her. On her right was a little mouse, so she claimed. To the left, a cat face. And when the cat face caught up to the mouse, she giggled softly—earning her the attention of the man next to her. She was certain he thought nothing of it and was simply dismissing her smile as another of her quirks. She wondered if either of her parents was a daydreamer like she was. If she had to guess, she would declare it to be her father. He was, after all, an explorer of sorts. And then she pondered on the Uchiha family, and how similar yet different they all were—each with inherited traits, but with their individual personalities.

"Hey, who do you think resembles your mom more? You or Sasuke?"

"That's such a random question."

"I'm just curious. But I would say that…hmm…that you have a little of both your dad and mom in you."

"Because you're so well acquainted with both of them, correct?"

"Well I mean, I don't know them really well, but there are some similarities even I picked up quickly."

"As in…?"

"You're a workaholic like your dad and you're obsessive compulsive like your mother."

"Work is a common practice not a genetic trait, and I am not overworking myself simply because your parameters of involvement with society are relatively low." He ignored her tongue and lay back down before adding an afterthought. "And I am not obsessive compulsive."

"You so are!"

"How so?"

"Just now, you were moving some strands of my hair out of the dents in the roof and counting the clouds in the sky."

He paused momentarily before a quick recovery. "That just explains how attentive you are."

"According to something I read, counting things and rearranging stuff is one of the first signs of it."

"It's just a habit from my training."

"Ha ha, you're so cute when you're embarrassed."

He grumbled lowly.

"But joking aside, I think it's the reason why you're family overanalyzes things. You just have this need for detail."

"We do not overanalyze."

"Yes you do. Your dad thought you were up to no good and your mom thought you were having an affair. I mean, what exactly made them think something like that? It's weird, you know?"

"Tch."

"If they're anything like you, then I know it started off with something really pointless. Like maybe you accidentally took home something of mine—a pen or an eraser. Your mom probably saw it, knew that it wasn't yours—creepily enough—and thought you were up to something."

"Writing utensils led to the accusations of my supposed treason and affairs?"

"Well maybe not those things exactly but something like that."

"My family wouldn't do something that stupid."

"Well what else could it have been?"

"I don't know, honestly. Probably some miscommunication from outside sources. Someone could have seen us interacting, something relatively simple like that. We probably grew careless and overlooked a flaw in our hidden communication."

"Yeah, maybe. I guess we may never find out, huh Itachi?"

"It's pointless now. Let's just focus on solutions rather than causality."

"Yeah. This is getting harder to do without something happening. So there's only two explanations. Either your mom is playing dumb and doing this on purpose…"

"…which I wouldn't put past her."

"Or this is the result of divine intervention."

He propped up on his elbows and raised an eyebrow.

"The gods are orchestrating everything so this matter will never be resolved."

"Your imagination knows no bounds."

"What? That's what it feels like!"

"This is serious, Usagi. Things could get out of control."

"Now, who's the one imagining things?"

"I'm serious. You don't know how my family is."

"Fine, fine. But what I don't get is how this all got worse after the incident at the station."

"You told everyone I spent the night with you."

She dismissed the statement with a wave. "That doesn't mean anything. It was their faults for being so perverted."

"You told my mother you would bare me children."

"No. I assured her that I would have children…i-in general. Not my fault she makes assumptions."

"Tch."

"It's not my fault and you know it. I don't know how this escalated but I…" her eyes narrowed at his miniscule flinch—one only a trained friend would notice. "You did something, didn't you?"

"No."

"Yes you did! I saw that look you gave me."

He was silent when he stood up.

"What did you say, Itachi?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Uchiha Itachi, what-did-you-say?"

The resemblance she suddenly bore to his mother was rather uncanny and strikingly frightening. "I…might have uttered a few erroneous avowals that held absolutely no conclusive evidence as to their existence but would otherwise guide my mother into a state of nonsensical comportment."

She scrunched her eyebrows and tilted her head. "Huh?"

He sighed and swallowed before continuing. "I told her I had sex with you."

It was much too quiet for his liking. He knew there was an explosive tag ready to be lit.

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"Stop it, alright? I just…"

"Why would you do that?"

"It happened suddenly."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did it ever occur to you that things would get worse from there?"

"It did, but at the moment it was the only thing I could do."

"You're supposed to be the smart one of the group! How could you fudge this up?"

"Just calm down."

"I can't calm down!" She grabbed her head in frustration and rolled back and forth on the roof.

"Look, I tried to tell her that she was jumping to conclusions, but the woman just wouldn't shut up. So I…I told her I was sleeping with you to get her off my back, okay?" He kicked her in order to gain her attention. "And stop that!"

"Okay? Okay?" Usagi scrambled to her feet to meet his glare. "My reputation is ruined thanks to you!"

"What are you going on about now?"

"My friends! You're the reason why when I went home the other night after some errands, I found three very pissed off looking friends glaring at me and demanding why I did not share the details of my intimate affair with them, especially considering it was you."

"Well, did you explain it to them?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure they believed me considering I kept you a secret in the first place."

"Well, that's not my fault."

"Not your fault? You were the one that told me to keep it a secret in the first place. And you were the one that told your mother we had sex when we didn't. Even if nothing came out of the interrogation room when I told them about our training sessions, your mother probably told the whole village that we had an affair because you told her tha…" Usagi's eyes widened. "Training sessions. Oh crap, I told your mom that we were using protection!" She covered her face, horrified with the thought.

"Why the hell would you tell her something like that?"

"I thought she meant combat armor!"

"Well when you think about it, they are kind of like combat arm—"

She was not amused by his line of thinking.

His smirk disappeared. "Sorry. And there's no reason to blame my mother on this. I doubt she told any…one…"

"What is it?"

With eyes closed and breath even despite his rage, he instantly recalled the sounds of hot running water and steam. His mother loved to frequent the hot springs and there was an almost absolute certainty that should she desire to spread information like an infectious virus, that the hot springs would be the first place she would look to in engaging senseless gossip. And it was quite possible that in a matter of time, the entire village would be aware of his supposed affair. He slowly opened his eyes, tired from just thinking of it all. "Onsen…"

"What?"

"Nothing, but I think you're right. She gave us away." He sighed. "And if it makes you feel better, my reputation is ruined as well."

"We're both screwed then, huh? Uh, no pun intended."

"Royally."

"Then, what now?"

"Back to square one."

"Yeah, we'll have to come up with another backup plan. Do you have time tomorrow? We can do it after lunch."

They had said that all week. When one plan went wrong, they gave up and regrouped another day to try once more. But they couldn't keep procrastinating about such an important event for much longer without causing further damage. "No, we're doing this now."

"Now?"

"We have no choice. The sooner we clear this rumor, the better."

Usagi's watch reminded her of the time, and she clapped her hands before bowing her head in apology. "I'm so sorry Itachi, but I really can't right now."

"What? Why not?"

"I agreed to meet up with my friends today. I thought we would be done by now so I told them I would be free by one."

"But…"

"Besides, your father said that your mom already left. So there's no reason to stay behind. There's nothing we can do about it now."

He sighed in resignation before pointing a finger at her. "You will help me resolve this soon."

Usagi nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! And next time, try to guard the place a little better. Naruto could do a better job than you."

"Oh, you're throwing that at my face?"

"Ha ha, yeah. But I'll get going now. Otherwise, I'll be late."

"Fine. I'll contact you later about the details."

"Sure."

The two hopped off the roof to part ways. But when Usagi took her first step out of the gate, she glanced back at the boy and ran back.

"Did you forget something?"

"Um, actually, you're not too busy right now, right?"

"Why? Did you need something?"

"I was just wondering…well…do you want to come hang out with us?"

He blinked away the surprise look on his face.

"It's just that, everyone knows we hang out now and I thought it might be kind of cool for all of us to relax and have fun. You know…like a little group."

"I…don't know."

"We're not doing much. We're just going to visit this new tea shop that opened up. And you'll like my friends. I'm sure you will. Plus it will be good for you. I know you don't hang out with too many people outside your family."

"Usagi…"

"It'll be fun. I promise. Don't forget that you owe it to me."

"Oh, is that right?"

"Yes, because you're the reason that my friends were angry at my supposed treason. It's only fair that you come with as compensation for all the trouble you put me through."

His eyes softened, understanding the endurance the girl had for not babbling to her friends of their meetings.

"I'm not very good with new people."

"I know how shy you are, but it will be good for you."

"Reserved is more appropriate of a term."

"Call it what you want, but in the end it's awkward for you to socialize."

He grunted in agitation to her request.

"Come on. I'm not asking for a commitment here."

"But…"

"It's just tea."

He sighed.

"Don't make me do the face." She pouted her lips.

He glided his hand over his face in frustration before relenting. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

"Don't act like it's pulling weeds. My friends are very nice, and they've wanted to meet you since the secret got out."

"Forgive me if I'm not thrilled with the excess estrogen that I'll have to endure today."

"Well, unfortunately, you don't have a lot of guy friends, so we'll have to do for now."

She grabbed onto his arm and ushered him out of the gate. "You ready?"

"I suppose."

"Okay, I've got to warn you about a few things first."

"Like what?"

"Well for starters, Minako-chan is kind of crazy about Uchiha. I wouldn't say completely obsessed but she might come onto you a little bit."

"Oh joy."

"Mako-chan is a bit on the tough side. Say something she doesn't like and she'll pick a fight with you."

"I just won't say anything at all, then."

"Don't be so grouchy. They won't want to hang out with you anymore."

"That's good to know."

"Ami-chan's at work now but we can meet up with her another time. Right now it'll be just the three of us. And oh, just remember to be yourself, relax and have fun."

"Relax, huh? Isn't that advice you should be keeping for yourself?"

She didn't think she showed any sign of anxiety but apparently he caught onto it well. "I just…I want us all to get along."

"Why?"

"Well, wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to hide anymore? If we could meet each other whenever we wanted to without worrying about who will see us together? And besides, you might like hanging out with my friends. They're a lot of fun."

He had given the former some thought, but a miniscule part of his brain warned that the opposite may actually occur with more people aware of the situation and with the problem having not been resolved. Despite his instincts screaming to take flight, he nodded and followed her along her path.

They continued strolling along the street until they reached a particular area in the park located by a small fountain and a few benches. People were running about and chattering but Usagi continued to look for her own friends.

"Do you see them?"

"Hang on…"

She squinted her eyes from the sunlight in her face and after several blinks, the silhouette of a girl approached the duo rather quickly.

"I see someone!" She began to wave over at it. "Minako-chan!"

"Usagi!"

Usagi parted her legs a little further apart, stiffened her stance and braced herself for the collision as a very energetic Minako clung onto her in excitement.

"I can't believe you're actually here on time!"

"Cut it out. I'm not always late, you know?"

"No, just mostly. It seems you only come early when there's a food incentive in it for you."

"Shut up, you make me sound like a pig." Usagi's glare dissipated when she caught Itachi analyzing her and Minako. "What?"

"Oh, no. There's two of you."

"Ha ha, very funny."

Minako too turned her attention now to the Uchiha before her and shoved her friend out of the way. At first, there was nothing but pure shock as she looked to Usagi who smiled reassuringly at her. She was not imagining it. Uchiha Itachi really was standing before her. Once that sunk in, all formalities were brushed aside and she quickly abandoned her fellow blonde. Minako batted her eyelids and began to show off her sweetest smile. "Where are my manners? Hi, I'm Minako from the Yamanaka clan. Actually, my little cousin is in the same generation as your brother."

He bowed hesitantly. "A-ah. I'm…"

"Well of course I know who you are! Everyone does! It's just a shame Usagi was hoarding you all to herself." She waved an admonishing finger at her friend. "Naughty girl. Anyway, I'm seventeen, about one-hundred and fifty seven centimeters, a Libra and blood type B. My favorite foods are noodles and curry, but I hate shitake mushrooms and my favorite colors are red and yellow. I play volleyball and sing in my spare time, enjoy walks at night with hot men, and look drop-dead sexy in a bikini. I normally have a fear of policeman but perhaps you can persuade me?" She gave him one final wink.

His mind slowly absorbed everything she just said, and he looked over to Usagi for guidance. The girl had warned him that flirting was a major possibility but he never expected anyone to be so brazen with the approach. But as he continued to silently plea for an escape, Usagi simply stood there, arms crossed and head shaking at her friend. Itachi didn't think there could be anyone more insane than her but apparently even he could make mistakes. He cleared his throat to recuperate from the situation presented to him. "That's…umm..."

"So, if there really is nothing going on between you and Usagi…" before she could finish the statement, however, she was roughly shoved out of the way.

"Will you stop your drooling? You've probably scarred the guy for life!"

Minako glared at Makoto who had just arrived and decided to suddenly intrude her conversation with Itachi. She cringed as her friend began to speak far too cute than normal.

"Hello, I'm Kino Makoto from the Kino Dojo. It's very nice to meet you."

"Ah."

"I'm sorry about my friend here. She can be a complete idiot sometimes. She has no idea how real adults handle a conversation." Makoto readjusted her hands under her bust and turned slightly to give him an even better angle at her well-endowed gifts.

Itachi took a few steps away from the intrusive move into his personal space. He was saved from the awkwardness by the other blonde who pushed her away.

"Stop that, you'll poke his sharingan eyes out with those things!" She smiled seductively at Itachi and exposed some skin down her neckline for his viewing pleasure. "Just ignore her. She doesn't even like your family, anyway. She said Hyuuga are far superior to the Uchiha clan."

The Uchiha's inquiring eyes caused the brunette to blush.

"I said no such thing! Simply that…"

"Oh please, you were practically calling them inferior. And may I remind you…"

"Don't give me that lecture. You were over there drooling all over Neji during Gai-sensei's training sessions."

"Well, I find him a bit attractive."

"He's thirteen years old! He probably doesn't even know what an erection is yet!"

"Shut up! You don't know that! And anyway, weren't you giving his teammate googly eyes as well? I saw the way you looked at Lee!"

"He just reminds me of my old sempai. That's all!"

"Who doesn't? Hmm? What about that guy? Does he remind you of your old sempai too?" Minako pointed at an innocent pedestrian strolling through the park. "Hey mister, better watch out. This girl might rape you."

The man in question picked up his pace and disappeared quite suddenly.

"Shut up. There are kids here, you know?"

"And I bet they also remind you of him."

"You see, this is why I don't hang out with stupid people."

"Oh yeah? Well I've got a few words for you!"

"Oh, I'm sure you do."

"Hey, if you don't like it you can just…"

Itachi backed away from the argument and sought refuge with the person he ironically found to be the most sane from the group.

"They're a bit energetic, huh?"

"That's an understatement. I thought I was prepared to handle it after dealing with you but now, I don't think I'll ever call you insane again."

She giggled. "That's good to know. And they're not always like this. Or rather, they are but you get used to it."

"I don't think I want to know them that long."

She smiled and grabbed a hold of his hand. "Oh come on. Just give it some time."

"What were they even doing?"

"I think they were trying to seduce you."

"Yes, brilliantly so. One with her torso and the other with her shoulders."

Usagi laughed and jabbed him in the stomach. "Come on, you." She directed her attention to the two still arguing. "Hey, you guys. Let's hurry up and get a move on. Itachi doesn't have all day."

"Sorry about that!" Minako bowed.

"We didn't mean to get caught up in the conversation."

"Minako-chan, why don't you lead the way to the café?"

"Oh right, follow me! You guys are going to love it. It just opened up a month back and I've been dying to try it out."

Usagi followed the two and slowed down to give Itachi time to catch up. "Don't get left behind."

"I'm starting to think that's the better option."

"Will you relax? This will be fun."

It had nothing to do with the two girls and their uncontrolled behavior. Meeting any group of people was a rather tedious task to him. Fighting, training, acquiring new jutsu, strategizing in combat—they all came natural to him and were much more practical. Why he was so reluctant to a simple exchange of greetings would probably be a direct result of his father's doing. He was completely cut off from that aspect of life. But that smile on Usagi, those pleading eyes and that innocent aura had him completely ensnared in her will. He could barely say no to the girl, especially when she was making an honest attempt to show him the carefree life that was readily available to him.

"I'll try."

It was the best he could offer at the moment.

---

Hands clenched and unclenched in a controlled fury as he continued to scribble down notes to a mission he couldn't even remember at the moment. The ticking sounds of his watch were becoming a nuisance. The chatter right outside his office a constant disturbance to his desired tranquility. He was usually a very strict and focused man but found that today he could focus on nothing in particular. His much awaited piles of work sat idly by. He was far behind and needed to pick up the pace. Unfortunately, the severity of the situation was not registering in his mind. Nothing was registering. And the only thing he could see as he stared down at the formulas below him was a pair of bright blue eyes and sunshine hair. The figure frolicked on the pages, teasing and taunting at his lack of discipline. And when it pulled down the bottom of an eyelid and stuck its tongue out, did he slam the book shut.

"Um, sir?"

Fugaku startled himself with the voice. A hesitant Tekka was poking his head in cautiously, a great concern painted on his face. "Sir, I don't mean to interrupt, but your wife is here to see you. Shall I tell her that you're occupied at the moment?"

He sighed. "No. No. Just…send her right in." His wife would have to suffice as a well-earned distraction.

"Hi sweetie. I came over to bring your lunch and check up on you. It's not like you to forget things. Is everything fine?"

She was correct in her statement. Very rarely did he ever forget anything, mostly because after years of constant routine, his movements had become instinctual. When he did stray from his pattern, it was usually a result of stress—stress from work, that is. This time it was a completely different problematic situation, one of which he wasn't sure he could rectify easily as he never expected to be confronted with such an issue.

"Everything is fine."

"Why is it that I don't believe you? Oh, that's right. I'm a woman. I'm far more intelligent than that." She frowned when a sudden gust of dirt tickled her nose and agitated her senses. "Don't you take the time to take proper care of your office?" She shook her head in disapproval when a wipe of her finger over the file cabinets collected a fairly thick layer of dirt. "It's called 'dusting' Fugaku. You should try it more often."

"Hmm."

"Grunts and grumbles. That's all I ever hear from you. It's a wonder your sons ever developed cognitive speech." Grabbing a small cloth from her pocket, she began to go around the room in an attempt to dust off the extensive amounts of dirt that had compiled on every artifact in his office. One particular piece caught her eye. "You know, I can't believe you still have this. Sasuke gave this to you…when was it? Maybe…ah yes. He was two. I remember it now. I told him 'It's daddy's birthday tomorrow. What are you going to give him?' Oh! He was so excited. He waddled down around the house and into his room. He worked all night to make this." Mikoto raised the item into the light and frowned. "I never did figure out what it is. Is it a paper weight? O-r maybe some type of ornament?" She rotated it for further inspection.

Fugaku spared a glance at the tiny object. It was ball-shaped and constructed from paper-mâché. Tiny spikes of facial tissue were poking out of it in every direction and a piece of string fell out from a tiny hole. It was a very colorful piece in deed. He didn't realize it until a few weeks later that his son was trying hard at recreating a weapon he saw in one of his scrolls. An air of pride surrounded him at the moment. His second son would also grow into a fine shinobi like his brother. If only Sasuke would not find himself in the same kind of entanglement.

"It's a type of flail."

Mikoto squealed as she gave it a quick blow and put it back on the shelf. "That is so cute. Our son was quite the genius for his age. They both were actually. Why do they have to grow up so fast? I would have loved it if they stayed cute for just a little while longer."

"People have to grow up, Mikoto. The sooner they learn responsibility, the better off they will be in the long-run. Prolonging their growth only stunts their development."

Mikoto placed a hand on her hip as she prepared to lecture her husband. "Well, I read in a book that playtime and games are beneficial for the psychological development of a child. They also work well in socializing them. And you can clearly see that with your sons."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Well, when was the last time you saw Sasuke or Itachi planning out a party or dancing about on stage with rigor and vitality."

He frowned at the thought. "Excuse me if I cannot picture my two sons frolicking about in glee."

She giggled. "I suppose not. But I really wish you would have let Sasuke participate in that play when he was four. He would have made an adorable frog."

"Believe me, if he knew of half the things you had in mind for him to participate in when he was a child, he would fall to his knees and thank me for sparing him the humility his mother wanted him to endure."

"Oh you!" She scoffed and walked over to his pictures, wiping each one carefully. "But speaking of Sasuke, his chuunin exams will be coming up shortly. I take it you are preparing for it as well."

"Yes, while I am allowed to offer some training, I am forbidden to relay any specific details of the test. Sasuke will have to figure it out for himself."

"And do you think he can do it?"

"Of course. He's my son after all."

"Yes, and oh! We should get him a special outfit just for the event. I know of this very cute shirt with a picture of a dragon. The dragon is so tiny and green." Mikoto shut her eyes in excitement and illustrated the details of the dragon with her hands. "He has huge eyes and a short snout. The little wings are much too small for his body and he's burping fire. It was so adorable. I'm sure Sasuke will love it! It looks just like his little green dinosaur doll."

Fugaku raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps we should let Sasuke figure out his own wardrobe for the event."

"You just enjoy sucking the fun out of everything don't you?"

"I yearn to rescue my sons from the great dragon Mikoto's evil clutches is all," he smirked.

Mikoto glared and threw a newly discovered wad of paper at him. "Har har, mister. But just for that, I might get him that shirt for his next birthday."

"Be careful. He might plan your assassination soon after."

She walked over to his desk and blew on a pile of dust toward his face. "Idiot. Anyway, I should probably get going. I have quite a few things I would like to get done today."

"As in purchasing cartoon character shirts for your son?"

She stuck her tongue out. "No. Actually I wanted to buy myself a scarf."

"Ah yes. That is most certainly a pressing matter to tend to."

"You're horrible. I swear. But anyway, I'll get going. Hmm, I wonder if Usagi is free today. I'm sure she could use a scarf as well. Oh, and maybe some matching booties. Shopping is no fun unless you do it with someone else."

Fugaku's grip on his pen tightened.

"In fact, I'll give Usagi a heads up next time she comes over. We can plan out an outing together. And Itachi could come as well. Since she's well acquainted with our son's body, I'm sure she has an idea or two on what to put on it. Heaven knows I can't get that boy to shop. His idea of shopping is grunt, point, purchase. No fun at all. So much like you."

His scribbles became increasingly harsh and he felt the weight of the ink increase its depth.

"Say, now that I think about it…why don't I get Usagi to come to your office. She can come once a week and help you spruce things up a bit. Actually, she may be able to help you more if you ask nice enough."

With more weight on the tip, he scratched right through the surface of the paper and ripped a small line by the formula.

"Enough."

It was so sharp and laced with menace that even Mikoto flinched from her husband.

"I was only making a suggestion."

"Well don't. I do not need that girl meddling into my business affairs nor will I ever need her for any particular involvement with my clan."

"Well, that will be hard to do considering she's already very well involved with our son."

His nostrils flared as he released a sharp snort of air. His whispered words were anything but sweet nothings. "That will come to an end soon. I assure you."

Mikoto was completely baffled by her husband's dark demeanor. She knew him to be reclusive and somber at times but never hostile, at least not this much. And she was so busy having fun and just being a good mother that she never stopped to think twice about her husband and his feelings with the situation. The sharpness of his voice alerted her to a possible dilemma that could escalate gravely.

"You don't care for her at all, do you?"

"No. And if you understand what's good for your son and are truly interested in his overall well-being then you will arrive at the same conclusion I have."

"What conclusion? And what do you mean well-being?"

"Itachi's future is something I do not take lightly Mikoto."

"Are you saying I do?"

"You indulge in these little fantasies of yours and drag your children into it as if they were all characters in your little play for you to control."

"How dare you! I love our children and only think what's best for them."

"And letting him gallivant about with some orphan is best?"

"Don't you dare degrade that girl simply because of her lack of lineage!"

"She can't offer our son anything!"

"Why don't you let our son decide that?"

He rose and turned abruptly with both hands clasped behind his back, staring at pedestrians right out his window.

Mikoto's demeanor was suddenly catching up to his and she slapped her cloth on the counter in agitation. "Don't you dare turn your back on me, Fugaku. I will not let this matter rest between us. Do you want me to raise my voi…"

"Have you given any thought to the girl's safety as well?"

"Excuse me?"

"This girl has never lived the life of a clan. She has no knowledge of the work we do and the pressures the come along with it. Tell me now, based on what you know of the girl…does she seem the type to take on the responsibility of an Uchiha's wife?"

"Well, maybe not now. But someday, she could."

"Then you have doubts to her capabilities as well?"

"Capabilities…perhaps with regards to the work we do but that's just based on inexperience, not inability. I'm sure she can work just as hard if she is allowed to."

"But is it her desire?"

Mikoto paused with a soft release of breath.

"The two may get along now, but what if this relationship becomes serious? How well will she adjust to this family? Its needs, how it functions and daily rituals. And if it becomes strenuous for her and her relationship with our son?"

"I don't…I don't know."

"That girl has no idea what it means to be with an Uchiha. There are many responsibilities with the title she'll earn as a matriarch, and I honestly don't believe she can fulfill them. The pressure will be too great. It will consume her and destroy her."

She gave a half light-hearted laugh. "I think you're overthinking this Fugaku."

"Perhaps you're right. In any case, there's no certain anything will come of them. It may only be a fleeting affair between the two."

"But if something did come of it, would you be willing to let it go and accept her?"

He tightened his jaw. "I stand by my previous notion. She wouldn't accept the lifestyle so easily."

"And what if Itachi doesn't want it either?"

It was his turn to falter. He turned sharply to his wife. "Excuse me?"

"What if your son…doesn't want to assume the life created for him?"

"I did no such thing. Itachi has willingly…"

"On your orders, Fugaku."

His eyes were in and out of focus before he regained his composure. "Itachi is a responsible man."

"Something you have exploited, I see."

"He's not being held against his will, Mikoto."

"Then would you be willing to offer him the chance to leave?"

He knew the answer to be no. A caged bird would always flee at first chance.

"As far as I'm concerned, he's made his choice. I think it's time you accept that."

She sighed. "You expect so much of your son. Did it even occur to you if he ever wanted to meet those expectations? And what about Sasuke? Will you be the same way if he decided to court a female outside the clan?"

He was a bit surprised by the statement because it actually never occurred to him. "Sasuke does not have the same burden Itachi does. In some ways, I think him to be more blessed. It's why I allow him more freedom. Itachi, however…I just want the best for him and his situation, Mikoto. Is that so wrong?"

She held her chest as she assessed her next words, if there was just some way to get through to the man. "Fugaku…I know this girl is not your ideal candidate for a wife. I won't lie; she is a bit more impulsive, boisterous and carefree. And that personality is not what you ideally find in strict upbringing, especially from this clan. But…but your son, in the entire time I've known him has never once approached anyone his own age through his own initiative, let alone a woman. This girl means something to him. She makes him happy. Can't you see that? Can't you understand that? Doesn't your son's happiness mean anything to you at all?"

"A good father wants what is best for his son."

"Yes, his son. Not him." She reached out to hold his arm when he made it a point not to counter that claim. "You know kids. The harder you push, the more they push back. Even if you didn't agree with their relationship, they're going to do what they want. You shouldn't underestimate her attatchment on our son. Usagi won't leave without probable cause, Fugaku."

There were thirty six people about on the streets within the last twenty seconds, so he counted. It was a habit he couldn't relinquish, mostly when others were speaking. His wife's lectures tended to have that effect as well. But when he finished counting the tiles of brick in the nearby building, did her final words enter his mind.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, Usagi will not leave without probable cause. The young ones are like that, Fugaku. It gets harder and harder to reach them. They're thick. It doesn't matter how much their vulnerabilities are exposed, they still charge head on."

"I see."

She held his hand and swung it gently while offering him the best pout she could. "Come on, it's not a big deal, sweetie. Just try talking to the girl and get to know her. You might find that you actually like her. If the two have a more stable and long-term relationship, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. And if the two don't end up together, then we have nothing to worry about. So shall we just let things go?"

He contemplated the choices before him and nodded softly. "We'll see how this turns out."

"Good." She kissed his cheek before walking to the door. "Things will turn out well, Fugaku. I'm sure of it."

He nodded a farewell to his wife before his worker Tekka reappeared. He bowed a goodbye to her and placed a few papers on his desk.

"These are the papers you requested, sir."

"Good." He paused and looked up to an awaiting Tekka. "Yes?"

"A-about that order you gave me earlier. I have taken the measures necessary and prepared everything as you asked of me. So…s-shall continue with the execution?"

He sat down, arranging everything in a manner especially trademarked to him.

"Of course."

---

Everything about it was delicious. The food, the tea, and the sweet, savory syrup that cascaded down each treat in a delicate flow. She quickly lapped up the drool that escaped her lips. But from across the table, she saw that Minako had the same kind of drool falling down. Only, she was certain the dango had nothing to do with it.

Makoto's hand reached over and slapped Minako's head onto the wooden table. "Will you stop that?"

Minako rubbed her forehead from the impact, certain a huge bump would eventually develop. "Oww! What was that for?"

"Will you stop with the googly eyes? You're making everyone uncomfortable."

Minako's glare slowly dissipated upon looking at the Uchiha across the table. He was delicately drinking his tea, purposely paying no mind to either of them. It was quite possible he was used to the attention, but embarrassed by it nonetheless. And another embarrassing issue was the lack of restraint and dignity with the attraction she currently had towards this man. She was a Yamanaka, after all. It was about time she showed it.

"Eh, heh heh…well, I was just admiring the dango. They're so delicious!" She plopped several in her mouth at once and spoke with a full mouth.

Makoto raised the edge of her tea cup and pressed it gently to her lips. "I didn't realize the Yamanaka lacked grace and style in terms of etiquette.

Minako's puffy cheeks turned red. But she quickly redirected the focus to the other blonde

"Well what about Usagi? She's also lacking in the manners department!"

Makoto turned to glare at her friend who was stuffing dumplings into her mouth faster than she could swallow. "Usagi, slow down! You'll choke!"

Usagi's cheeks were now as puffy as Minako's and she spoke brokenly through a full mouth. "If I don't talk, then nothing goes wrong."

Itachi glanced sideways and smirked before quickly continuing on with his tea. "That's the most intelligent thing I've heard you say all day."

She glared at the snickers from her friends and swallowed her load. "It's bad enough I have Itachi here poking fun of me but all three of you? I'm starting to think this was a bad idea."

Makoto's smiles slowly subsided when she noticed that Itachi was once again uncomfortable—his lack of contributions to the conversations attributing to the awkwardness.

"Itachi-san…wait, you don't mind if we call you that, do you?"

Itachi's ears twitched at her voice. "It's fine."

Minako's smile also receded at his lack of enthusiasm. As a member of the Yamanaka clan, she was used to constant chatter. Itachi's quiet persona made her squirm with her own bout of shyness. "Do you like your dumplings?"

"Ah."

The two girls turned to each other and frowned slightly which made Itachi crawl into his internal corner even more. How Usagi managed to hold conversation with a man that barely uttered six syllables was something they couldn't understand.

"Actually, dango are Itachi's favorite snack. He loves them almost as much as he loves cabbage."

Minako pinched her nose. "I hate cabbage. It gives me diarrhea."

Itachi was mildly shocked at her openness.

"That's disgusting, Minako! Don't bring up your digestive system in the conversation. We're eating." Makoto huffed and sipped her tea angrily.

"But it does! Just like eating too much katsudon gives Usagi constipation."

Usagi stopped mid-bite when she felt Itachi's heavy smirk directed towards her. "Oh yeah? Well when Itachi eats…uh…well he…that is…he sometimes…um…there are days when…UGH!" She glared up at her friend. "Why are you so perfect?"

"It's a gift," he replied smoothly. "Life has spared me erratic bowel movements."

She stuck her tongue out.

"You know, if you absorbed more nutritious food such as vegetables and fiber, you may not have such unfriendly visits with your porcelain friend."

"Jerk."

Inspiration struck her when she saw the two exchange their teasing words. And like a dedicated artist up at ungodly hours when motivation makes its strike, she rushed right in—quick to take advantage of the idea. "Hey, Itachi-san, want to know a funny story about Usagi?"

Itachi gave Minako his immediate attention. It wasn't as if he was pressed to humiliate the girl. It started off as mild curiosity. But the idea of retribution for having Usagi exposed to his most humiliating childhood moments by this mother was much too delectable to pass.

"I remember when we were little, Usagi liked to play with this cute dog down the street. Everyday, he would come up to greet her with that little wag of his tail. Well one day, we noticed her kneeled down on the floor with the dog belly up. We asked her what was wrong and she told us that the dog had worms and she was trying to get one out. Well when we got up close, we realized she was actually yanking on the dogs assets, so to speak."

Usagi buried her head onto the table, both arms over her head.

"Yeah, I remember that too! It took us the rest of the day to explain the basic concept of male reproductive organs."

Itachi let out a soft snort at the incident. "Is that right?"

She didn't answer. Her face was now bearing a hue similar to Itachi's sharingan. "Ugh! I can't believe you would tell him that story!"

Minako bared her shiny smile for Usagi to see. "Well, think of it this way. Kochi-chan had a VERY happy ending."

Itachi smirked. "Is this your approach to animal therapy? Perhaps we have an occupation ready for you, yet."

"Yeah, Usagi. If you work the streets at night in just the right way, the dogs might start to leave you higher tips."

"Assholes…all of you."

Makoto's eyes widened and she slapped the table gently in excitement. "Ooh! I have another one!"

"This better not be more embarrassing…"

"Minako, remember the time Usagi had that huge crush on Momiji-sensei?"

Usagi's smile held no happiness. "It is..." Her eyes spied on Itachi, whose right eyebrow rose significantly. She turned around, finding the noren much more interesting at the moment.

"Ooh yeah! I remember that."

"The worst part was the day she decided to profess her so-called 'love' to him. She ran up to him and delivered her message, along with offering a complimentary letter. The only problem was her head was bowed so she wasn't paying attention. In the end, it was Kurenai-sensei who got the profession—and witnesses to it, most of our graduating class."

Minako nearly spewed her tea from the memory. "I so remember that! Because for like a year afterwards, everyone thought Usagi was a lesbian! Poor Kurenai-sensei, to be put in such an awful position."

Usagi's hands clutched onto her ears tightly as her head banged on the table in mortification. "I was seven. Leave me alone."

"Ne, ne, Itachi-san. Do you have any stories about Usagi?"

"Stories?"

"Yeah, like funny stories."

"Or cute stories."

"Anything really."

He was very hesitant in answering. It wasn't so much as he couldn't think of any embarrassing moments of the girl. Far from the case as it had been an habitual habit to cause trouble or find herself in precarious situations. But speaking to people he had only met; it was a difficult task. He had try, though.

"Well, there was the time we stopped by a ryokan. We had just finished some exercises and it started raining."

"Not that story, Itachi! Please?"

He smirked. Her whining was encouraging him to continue and he went on, forgetting his anxiety of the other girls at the table.

"It was time for our bath and we parted ways. Or so I thought. As I settled in with other people around me at the male's side, I noticed a blonde female walking about through the entrance. Apparently Usagi didn't know enough kanji to even read she was walking to the wrong side of the onsen. And let's just say, she earned a few whistles that night."

Even Makoto spewed her tea this time. They banged on the table to restrain their loud laughter.

"Oh wow? Were you in a towel? Or did they manage to see the whole ensemble, Usagi?"

"Shut up, Minako-chan."

"Hey don't feel bad. I'm sure you had some pretty decent goods to show, girl." Makoto winked at the tomato blonde.

Despite his friend's current embarrassment, he couldn't help but smile at the other girls' attempts to reach out to him. Usagi was the only bridge connecting them to him and he knew once they began to indulge in embarrassing storytelling that the only thing they were trying to do was make the environment less tense. It was a little more relaxing thanks to the humiliation his friend was subjected to, however, ridiculing her past blunders wasn't exactly how he envisioned the day.

"Actually, while we're on the subject of Usagi, how did she come about meeting you, Itachi-san?"

"Yes. I think Minako and I are quite curious as to how this all started. Usagi said it started with training but is that all you guys do? I mean how did the actual relationship start?"

"I already told you guys; we're just friends."

"So you claim," Makoto taunted Usagi.

"It's true!"

"Well, Usagi, it's hard to believe that when we know now that you two have been secretly meeting behind our backs! Who knows what kind of illicit activities you two engage in when no one is looking. I mean meeting at your place, hanging outside the village, going to ryokan together. It's only natural you two would develop feelings over time."

"But it's NOT like that, I tell you!"

"A likely story!"

Itachi watched as the three bickered. Even thought they were teasing, he could sense there was a hint of betrayal in their eyes. It had been a long time that their friend had kept such a secret. There were probably trust issues now with the girl; things he completely caused through his own commands. They had no reason to argue over it or accuse Usagi of any form of treason considering it was really all his fault.

"I'm sorry."

"Eh?" The three girls turned to Itachi.

"About all this, I apologize."

"Itachi-san, there is nothing to be sorry for."

"Makoto is right. We understand why you and Usagi kept it secret. I mean, with how your clan is and all."

"What do you mean by that?"

Minako shielded herself with her hands. "Hey, I didn't mean anything offensive. Both Makoto and I are from clans so we totally get that there are some things you just have to keep secret. But, don't you think some things were going a little overboard?"

"Minako's right, Usagi. You should have told us from the start!"

"But I…"

"No, that's my fault. I was the one who made her hold her tongue. Please don't hold any resentment to Usagi."

"But then, why?"

"My clan is a bit different from the others, and my role even more so. My contact with people outside the clan is kept to a bare minimum so as not to raise the issue of outsiders using me as a means to collect intel."

"Intel?" Minako placed a hand on her mouth to prevent more pieces of dango from spilling. "Sorry to say this, but if you need a good spy, this girl is the last person you need."

"I resent that, jerk."

Itachi smiled inwardly. If they only knew how brilliant the girl really was in terms of concealment. But perhaps Usagi held back her capabilities in front of them—for reasons of her own.

"Anyway, what does your family think of all this, Itachi-san?"

They were all staring now, anticipating words from his open mouth, a fact which made him uncomfortable considering he wasn't sure he wanted to reply at all. The broken conversation, however, was now out of his hands as a shrill voice wafted through the air.

"Mina!"

Minako's face immediately fell in horror, and she proceeded to hide under the table when that familiar voice rang through her ears. "Whatever you do, don't tell her I'm here!"

Itachi, Usagi and Makoto all shared puzzled looks at each other before staring down at a blonde who suddenly buried herself beneath them.

"Minako, what the hell are you do—"

All too quickly, another blonde girl appeared before them. She was much younger and shorter—hair tied back into one long ponytail. Her light blue eyes glared down onto the wooden table, fixated on the not-so-hidden kunoichi before her.

"You can stop hiding from underneath the table, Mina. I know you're under there!"

The knowledge of having been caught caused her to bump her head on the table. "Damn. How did you find me?"

"Gee, I don't know. Ninja's intuition perhaps?" She kicked Minako's legs which were completely protruding from underneath the table. "Or maybe it was that loud mouth of yours."

"Damn it."

"I figured Uncle forgot to tell you of your duties today, or should I say, you conveniently forgot to remember them."

"I'm hanging out with some friends. Can't you go see her today?"

"Nuh-uh. I had to see her yesterday. It's your turn. Uncle will get pissed if he finds out it's past two and you still haven't given her some of her daily treats."

"Fine, I'll take care of it." She crawled out from underneath the table, and when her cousin paused briefly in shock she followed her gaze to Itachi who was curiously watching the spectacle. "Oh, Itachi-san, this is my cousin. The one I mentioned. Ino here is in Sasuke's graduating class."

Ino immediately perked at the name and rushed over to bow before her crush's elder brother. "Uchiha-san, nice to meet you! And might I add you look rather handsome today. I guess good looks run in the Uchiha family."

Itachi sighed. Flirting came natural to the Yamanaka. Such a shame they all started at such a young age in the matters of courtship. And another thought entered his head. This girl was among the many competitors vying for his brother's affection. If only she knew, though.

"Okay, that's enough out of you. Just go back and tell my dad I'll go make a quick visit to Grandma."

"Fine. But oh, just a warning, it's Monday. So you know what that means."

Minako groaned. "Fine. I'll go make sure she doesn't kill him today."

The words had slipped so casually from Minako's lips that it was difficult to gauge the severity of the situation. And when Ino bid a final farewell, Minako raised her hand to gain a waitress' attention.

"What was that all about, Minako-chan?"

"It's my turn today to make a visit to Grandma's house. And of course, I have to bring her some sweets or else she'll be too ornery to deal with."

"Aww, I love Grandma. She's so funny."

"Usagi, there's nothing funny about a senile old woman."

"Yeah, and try living with her. Believe me, she'll drive you nuts!"

"Dealing with the elderly requires patience. You just have to learn how to control your temper."

Usagi patted Itachi's shoulder. "No, Minako has a point. Trust me when I say even you will get pissed off if you stay too long."

"Hey, that sounds like a good idea, Usagi!"

"Pissing off Itachi?"

"No, I mean, why don't we take Itachi-san to Grandma's for a visit? She'll love the extra company and plus, he can see how funny she is."

Usagi and Makoto both bore a devilish grin. It made Itachi gulp.

"Trust me; this'll be fun, Itachi-san!" Minako grabbed her bag of dumplings and walked away from the table. "So long as we don't stay too long, anyway. We'll just stop in for a quick hello and give her the treats. Then we'll let you be on your way. What do you say?"

He really wanted to say no but instead a nod followed her question.

"Awesome! Let's go!"

Minako rushed ahead first out of the dango shop. Her reckless running , however, stopped quite abruptly when a hard chest smashed right against her nose.

"Hey you jerk! Watch where you're going." She pinched her nose to hold back any possible bleeding.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I…" Minako gulped and paused when her eyes traveled from the black pants, to the jounin vest up to the signature emblem on his shoulders. Her accusing finger now dangled and her dry mouth remained opened, the words having lost their way out. She never expected to run into an officer. They always left her nervous, mostly because she always had the perception she was doing something wrong—in which case, she mostly did. But unlike most stern officers, this one had nothing except pure amusement twinkling in his eyes and a small smirk to accompany it.

Itachi walked forward to see what had stopped Minako and felt slightly relieved when a familiar figure stood before him. "Shisui?"

Shisui blinked away the shock of finding his friend surrounded by so many women. "Whew…Itachi. Here I pegged you as a shy man all this time but lo and behold you're surrounded by so many women. I take it Usagi was just the first victim to fall under you. I wonder how many more you will seduce until your thirst for sex is satiated?"

"Very funny."

Usagi stepped forth to save Itachi from more teasing. "Shisui-san, these are my friends."

Makoto smiled widely. "Oh, so this is Shisui. Lucky us, running into two Uchiha men in one day."

"Lucky? Is that right? And how would you fine ladies be acquainted with my identity?"

"Usagi here has talked much about you."

Usagi blushed when Shisui wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Oh, is that right?"

"I think she may have a crush on you." Makoto winked to egg him on.

"Is that right, Usagi-chan?"

"Not at all!"

He released when she shoved his hand aside. "All right. I'll cut back on the teasing for you. But what about these two? Surely you're going to introduce them to me."

Itachi rolled his eyes at his much-too-suave smile. It was unfortunate the man always thought with the wrong head in mind.

"Um, sure. Makoto is this one…"

She bowed at her introduction. "It's nice to meet you."

And this one here is Minako.

"Oh, but this one is already quite acquainted with my chest."

"Well I'm sure it's the best weapon you currently have in your arsenal."

Shisui let out a roar of laughter, half impressed with the girl's attitude."Give me one night, and then you be the judge of that."

"Tch. Why would I do that?"

"It's only natural to aquire more knowledge about a subject you obviously know nothing about."

"Even so, I don't have to jump off a building to test gravity. It's very obvious what kind of guy you are."

"Oh really? And what kind would that be?"

"The kind who put up a bad boy act to compensate for what they lack of in other departments."

He smiled, not at all affected by her words. "Well, aren't you a lighted hanabi? Let me guess, Yamanaka."

"How did you know?"

"The resemblance is unmistakable."

"Just because I'm blonde? Usagi's blonde too!"

"Well, that's not quite what I meant, but we'll save that for another day."

"Whatever. Anyway, guys let's get going. Grandma awaits."

Minako led the way and frowned when Shisui walked beside her. "What are you doing?"

"On my way to Grandma's house."

She laughed fakily and pushed him away with two fingers. "No, you're not."

"What? I thought that invitation was extended to me as well. Unless you have something much more entertaining in store for me." He smirked to instigate a fight but she merely huffed and kept walking.

Usagi tugged at Itachi's sleeve, worried about where the recent events would lead. "Hey, Itachi, is it okay for Shisui to come along?"

Itachi shrugged at Usagi's concerned face. "Regardless, he does what he wants. Just let it be."

The anger eventually dissipated from Minako, and she continued to lead the group down several roads before they all entered the Yamanaka Prefecture.

Shisui let out a whistle of appreciation. "I'd forgotten how nice this place is. Hey I remember that little bench."

Minako's face scrunched in confusion. "What business did you have here?"

"I fucked a girl or two somewhere over there."

She immediately rolled her eyes until Itachi chimed in.

"He's serious."

"Oh. Well they couldn't have been from my family. We have high class."

"Actually Yamanaka are pretty easy."

Minako immediately turned her death glare at him.

"What? I simply speak from experience."

"Hmph! Anyway, if you guys are serious about coming to see Grandma there are a few things you should know. She's crazy, she has bad short-term memory and she hates Uchiha and Hyuuga. So don't mention your last names to her at all. If she asks, just make one up."

"What's her deal with us?"

Makoto decided to answer since Minako was still too angry with him to comply. "We figure she got dumped by them when she was younger."

"Ah. I see."

"But Grandma is really nice. You'll like her."

"She's nice to you, Usagi. To everyone else she's just flat out…"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!"

The five whipped their heads around to see an elderly woman throwing paper tags out the window.

"Hello, Grandma. How are you?"

"I'll kill you, son of a bitch!"

Minako sighed as she watched her grandmother continuously throw the tags out the window towards the courier who was simply trying to deliver his load of mail.

"Yeah, Grandma is pretty crazy."

Itachi was taken back by the exchange. "Are those explosive tags?" He was astonished at how carefree the woman was throwing around such a dangerous weapon, especially in a facility so enclosed as a residential zone.

"Don't worry. Dad never gives her real ones. They're just paper slips with scribbles on them. Harmless. They're there to make her feel secure when no one is at the house."

"Oh..okay."

Shisui frowned when the woman continued to curse out the window. "But why is she attacking the courier?"

"We think it's part of her Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. She took part in all of the Shinobi World Wars and they totally messed her up for life. Now she thinks random people are out to get her. But why specifically the courier? We never did figure that one out."

"Is it too late for us to run?"

Both Shisui and Itachi had taken a few steps back.

"You'll be fine. Just remember what I told you. If I tell her you guys are friends, it will all be okay."

"Uh, sure."

"Come on Minako. Let's not prolong it."

"Yeah."

The group edged onwards toward the house. When they did reach close enough, they could see the old woman eyeing them carefully before excitement took over. She abandoned the window and ran straight to the door.

"Minako! You came to see me!"

"Sure did, Grandma. And I brought you some treats."

"Well, I suppose that's all you're good for. If you're anything like your mother, you probably go outside all the time just to have sex with boys."

Shisui and Itachi were actually quite shocked with the exchange. What was even more shocking was Minako not once getting angry.

"Yes, Grandma. I know. I'm always out doing the sex."

"You're a horrible girl."

"So very bad, Grandma. But I promise to confess my sins next week."

"Good."

The woman gave a few huffs of short breath and staggered over to the rest of the group. With her cane, she tapped the sides of the other two girls.

"Makoto? Is that you?"

"Yes, Grandma. I came to see you."

"That's wonderful. I'm glad you could make it. And you're still so tall! Is there nothing you can do about that?"

"No, Grandma."

"Well then, be prepared to have men pass you up. Tall women intimidate them." She shook her head. "Forever alone…it's quite sad."

Makoto's strained smile was all that could restrain her from choking her to death.

The woman then stumbled over to Usagi. She took a hold of the long locks of hair and gave them a sniff. With a cold, pudgy hand, she slapped Usagi's cheeks and then glided down her neck and shoulders.

"Usagi! Oh, it's you! I'd recognize you anywhere!"

"Hello, Grandma. How are you?"

"Fine dear. Just fine. And I take it you're taking care of yourself just fine?"

"Yep."

"Good. You always were my favorite of the clan. Did I ever tell you that?"

Usagi smiled. The woman had always assumed she was a member of the clan. Despite everyone's efforts, they could never persuade her otherwise.

"You're such a sweetheart. Did you know that? Oh, I'm sure you'll find a nice husband someday."

She giggled. "Thank you, Grandma."

"Hey that's not fair, Grandma! I'm your granddaughter. You're supposed to wish me those wonderful things!"

"Yeah, but she's the better one in the family. Her mother wasn't a whore like yours."

Minako's cheeks puffed up. "And I bring you cookies sometimes, too."

"Well she brings me happiness."

"I give up."

Apparently so had her grandmother, for she now had a look of confusion as she made her way before the two men in the house. Her cane bumped the sides of their arms much more harshly then it had with the girls.

"What are these?"

Usagi decided she was more suitable of a person to explain. "These are our friends. Itachi and Shisui."

Grandma narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Are they Uchiha?"

"No, no! Of course not!"

Her cane jabbed Itachi's long black hair. It then settled for poking Shisui's forehead.

"I know an Uchiha when I see one."

"No Grandma! They're from the…uh…"

Makoto immediately saved the conversation. "They're from the Meioh Clan!"

"Hmm? That worthless group? Well I suppose that's better than an Uchiha." She then proceeded to take several pieces of parchment and rub them down each boy's body. Several grains of rice were then thrown on the floor by their feet. Everyone waited patiently as she observed them standing still before the act. And after a few splashes of water in their faces, the woman gave up and moved over back to her granddaughter.

Itachi leaned over to Usagi. "What did she just do?"

"This is Grandma's ritual when she meets new people."

Minako smiled apologetically. "It's to make sure you're not a Kyonshi. "

Both boys were at a loss for words.

"Yeah, we know. Just go with it."

"Okay."

Minako's hands carefully pushed on her grandmother's back. "Grandma let's get you to a chair."

"Kiss my ass."

"Grandma! It's not nice to curse in front of guests."

"I did not lay a curse on anyone today. My chakra level is much too low."

"Okay, okay. Why don't we just get you to the living room for now, then?"

"You're going to hell."

"Yes, Grandma."

"I just want you to know that."

"Uh-huh."

"I mean it. Repent for your sins and salvation will grace you!"

"Yes, Grandma. And I'll first start by offering you these snacks."

The old woman's eyes lit up and she snatched the small tray away before slowly making her way back to the living room.

"I'm going to put the rest of your snacks in the fridge, Grandma."

"That'll be fine, dear."

Shisui waited until the woman was now comfortably seated in her chair before he approached Makoto. "Was all that just happened normal?"

"Oh yeah. This is all pretty standard procedure for Minako's grandmother. We think on top of the PTSD and short-term memory loss, she might also suffer from dementia."

"No kidding."

"Come on. Let's go visit her for a little while. Now that she's eating sweets, she'll calm down for a little while."

"Yeah, we can leave when she gets bitchy again."

"Mako-chan!"

"What? It's true."

They waited until Minako returned so she could act as a guide.

"Help me! I'm dying!"

"Grandma, don't yell. We're right here."

"WHAT?" She yelled, but when she saw Minako sitting right next to her chair, she relaxed more. "Oh, okay. That's fine, I suppose."

The woman's breaths became haggard until her head eventually fell forward.

"Is she alright?" Itachi's Anbu instincts made him get up in response to her immobility.

"She's fine. She just pretends to die a lot."

He shook the idea way. "A-ah."

The noise made the woman immediately spring forth with life. "WHAT?"

"Nothing Grandma. We're talking about the weather."

"Is it raining, yet?"

"No, Grandma. It's sunny."

"I want rain! My plants won't grow without it."

"I can't control the rain, Grandma."

"That's why I said you're worthless."

"Horrible. Here now, eat more sweets."

She opened her mouth to comply. After more labored breathing she rolled her head over to Itachi sitting next to Usagi.

"And who would you be?"

Itachi sighed before answering. "U..." He paused at his mistake and the grandmother was now alert to his response. He remembered Minako mentioning that her memory was not as sharp, and so he decided to test that theory. "Ueda Itachi."

"That's a pretty name." Her hands patted his cheeks, raked through his hair, traced the outline of his eyes and poked at his eyelashes. "And you have a very pretty face, young lady."

He glared when Shisui and the girls giggled.

She smacked her mouth a few times before becoming irritated with her own noise. "I want some youkan. Bring me some youkan!"

"Calm down, Grandma. I'll go get it."

"I want it now!"

"I know! Just be patient."

"Piss off, you shit of a whore!"

Minako sighed before getting up. "I'll be right back you guys."

"Hurry and help me. I'm dying, sweetie. I want my last meal, please." she whined and faked a cry.

"I'm hurrying. I'm hurrying."

The woman exhaled deeply before turning over to look at Itachi once more. "Help me. Help me. Will you help me live?"

"U...um"

"And what is your name?"

Itachi grumbled softly.

"Answer me quicker, you asshole!"

Usagi laughed softly at his reluctant response.

"Itachi."

"Are you a Hyuuga?"

"No."

"Good. Those son of a bitches. They killed my chickens, you know?"

Her eyes rolled over to Usagi who was smiling brightly at her. They traveled between Itachi and the girl and after a few seconds of repetitive action, she pointed a finger at Itachi.

"You're trying to have sex with her, aren't you?"

He wasn't quite sure how to respond. Should he be offended, angry, go along with it or simply ignore it and move on? He asked Usagi for her help with the situation but the girl was frozen as well.

"Well, let me offer some advice. Kijoui is good if the guy wants a change of pace. Suspended congress in the bathroom, sixty nine to multi-task and seahorse if you get tired."

Usagi wasn't quite sure what the old woman meant by any of it. Then again, she was fairly random in her speech at any given point.

"And remember, dear, don't settle for missionary each and every time."

"Missionary? Well, I'm not exactly that religious Grandma."

She whipped her head back to her friends who suddenly let out loud laughter over her recent response. Even Itachi was discreetly smiling in amusement.

"What? I'm not!"

Minako walked in and immediately admonished what she overheard. "Grandma, that's not nice! What did your son say about speaking indecently in front of people?"

"I don't know, but I'll tell you what I say. Tell that little asshole he needs to mind his own damn business and leave me the hell alone! I want to die in peace!"

"Grandma!"

The old woman dismissed her granddaughter with a wave of her hand and continued rocking in her chair. She peered over her glasses and spotted Usagi and Itachi once more. "Have we met before?"

Before Itachi could even let out a sigh of irritation, he noticed Minako walking over to hand her a plate of treats.

"Youkan! Well it's about damn time."

Itachi frowned until Minako smiled at him.

"They usually shut her up."

Usagi gasped. "Minako! You're just as bad as your grandmother!"

"What? They do!" Minako wiped a few strands of gelatin from the woman's chin before tiptoeing over to her friends. "Let's go ahead and take off. She'll be preoccupied with that bag for another hour."

The group tiptoed out of the area without leaving a trace as to their presence in the room. But after Minako slowly closed the door to the house, two very confused boys were still peering through the nearby window.

"What's wrong?"

Shisui hesitated to speak but after realizing that his friend had no intention of starting a conversation, he decided to answer their unspoken questions. "Is it okay to just leave like this? I mean…shouldn't we stay to watch over her until someone comes?" Shisui wasn't surprised when the woman continued to ignore the lack of company around her. The youkan had really brightened her spirits and become a priority.

"Nah. As soon as she's done with her daily treats, she usually takes a nap. It'll be fine. She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself."

"But I mean, well…you saw her earlier."

"She's crazy, but not completely incompetent."

"If you say so."

"Relax. This is the daily routine. Besides, my dad will come by later to check on her, so no worries." She held a victory hand up to reassure him.

"But anyway, I've got to get going. Mama will want me to check back at the house soon. I've still got some yard chores I need to get done."

"Yeah, and the dojo needs to be mopped. I've got to get that done before the sun sets."

The two girls bowed before slowly retreating.

"Thanks for joining us today, Itachi-san...Shisui-san. Bye Usagi." Makoto was the first to leave after a quick wave at the rest of the group.

"Yeah, same goes for me. Hopefully we can meet again soon."

Minako frowned when Shisui placed a hand on her shoulder. "And by 'we' I assume you're including me as well."

"No. Just Itachi-san."

"Don't be a cold-hearted bitch," he playfully poked her head.

"Tell you what. I'll stop being a bitch when you stop spreading your seed everywhere."

He threw his head back to give credit to her wit. "Giving it up will only make me want it more."

Minako shook her head in disapproval. "I guess it's true what they say. After they abstain, men harden."

A swirl of wind carrying dead leaves circled the group. And after realizing that she was indeed serious, Itachi cleared his throat to respond.

"I believe 'After the rain, earth hardens' is the correct way to say that."

"But I mean, it's the same concept!"

No one openly contradicted the statement.

"Well, I'm heading off now. Let's do this again sometime."

Usagi bid a farewell to the lively girl. Itachi, however, was not as quick to dismiss his friend who was now discreetly following Minako.

"And where are you heading off to?"

"To patrol?"

Usagi narrowed her eyes. "Patrol what?"

Shisui smiled before disappearing. "What else? Our beloved citizens. Ja!"

He grumbled at his friend's obvious intent. "Idiot."

"Don't worry about him, Itachi. Minako-chan will put him in his place. But I think we should call it a day. I'm sure you're ready to get back home."

"Ah."

They walked side by side down the path to their homes. Usagi inhaled a deep breath of fresh air and marveled at her surroundings. The day was actually quite wonderful. Despite a few awkward moments of silence, she was certain Itachi didn't detest his time with her friends. Everyone seemed to get along just fine. And a feeling of relief escaped her mouth when she thought about how much more positive things would progress from here if everyone cooperated smoothly.

"So, Itachi, you survived today. What did you think?" She winked.

"About what?"

"Well…everything. My friends, our outing. How did hanging out with people outside the clan feel to you?

It had been relatively pleasant despite his lack of social skills. Not having to worry about formal affairs and enjoying the company of others with no legal entanglements or business tied to it was a positive change of events. Instead of honesty, however, he replied with his coveted smirk.

"This excursion has been notably stored away as probably one of the most traumatic experiences of my life."

"Oh come on! It wasn't that bad. It was kind of fun on some level, wasn't it? You got to meet my friends…"

"Who spent most of the time making me uncomfortable."

"Uh…well we had fun at Grandma's house. That was entertaining, wasn't it?"

"Yes...a mentally deranged, psychologically warped woman who felt the need to question my existence every time she saw me."

"Hey, she couldn't help that. She's old. But you found her entertaining, didn't you?"

He smiled mischievously. "Yes, Ms. Missionary."

"I told you guys. I'm not into that! I've never done missionary work!"

Itachi let out a low chuckle.

"I haven't!"

"Oh, I believe it."

"Ugh! Whatever," she pouted. "And anyway, I think she's much more normal than your family. At least she has age and a diagnosed disorder. What's your family's excuse?"

"I would say I resent that but you have a point."

"Yeah, and now I know where you get it from."

"That, I do resent."

"It's cute; I think."

"You think psychotic behavior is worth adoration?"

"That's not what I meant. You just have quirks that are cute, that's all. Like holding your sneezes in so no one will see them."

"I don't do that."

She playfully attacked him from behind in attempt to lock him in a tight grip around his neck. "Yes you do!"

"Get off of me, you stupid girl."

"No! Give me a piggy back ride."

"What are you, four?"

"You give Sasuke rides on your back."

"He's my little brother."

"Yeah, but I'm your little sister."

"You're bigger than him."

"Are you calling me fat, you jerk? I'll get you for that!" She tried to lock tighter against Itachi's steel body, but realized he was only agitated by her efforts rather than exhibiting any true pain.

"Seriously, get off. Someone will…"

"Itachi, Usagi…are you two back from a date?"

He glared at Usagi who released immediately and frowned as an apology. His mother bore a fairly large grin—one he could only assume was caused by the recent entanglement between his accomplice and him.

"You did go out on a date, didn't you? Oh that's so romantic! You two are acting so cute together. And Itachi, I always thought you were the shy type like your father. Why, I remember when I first dated him, he wouldn't even hold my hand in public because he was so nervous. So, on our third date …"

The two sighed softly as Mikoto was lost to her own ramblings. Itachi lost interest as soon as his mother began speaking. Her stories of his childhood and her past were becoming something of an intricate pattern. He was sure he heard this particular one approximately eighty seven times. And he realized that Usagi was quickly losing interest as well when she began rubbing her belly.

"Don't tell me you're hungry again."

"What? I mean, all we ate were some treats. It's not like it was a huge lunch."

"It should have sufficed until your dinner."

"I'm a growing girl. I can't help it."

"Keep it up and you'll only be growing in one direction."

"Ha ha."

"Hmm."

Aside from his mother's continuous chattering, the environment was undisturbed. Itachi's eyes carefully surveyed the surroundings from his house, to neighboring houses and the paths in between as well as the roofs and stone walls. When he realized that not a soul was nearby, he leaned closer to whisper in Usagi's ears. "Hey, no one is around or looking. Do you want to…"

"Yeah, let's ditch your mom and go find something to eat!"

Itachi fisted his hand and gave her a good hit on the head.

"Oww!" She clutched her head tightly between two hands.

"You stupid girl, I meant we can tackle this issue together now."

"What issue?" A light clicked on in Usagi's head and she stood up straight with firm resolution. "Oh, that issue! Good point! Ok, I'll start."

"…and then we made out by the patio only to have my father catch us in the act. In the end Fugaku was not allowed to see me for about two months in order for my dad to ensure I wasn't pregnant." Mikoto blushed. "But at the least, I had some intimate moments with him, and I learned he was fully capable of expressing his love to me in front of others."

Usagi laughed uncontrollably. "Really? That's hilarious. Then what happ…?" She stopped when Itachi's arms roughly pushed against her. "Oh…right. Um, Mikoto-san…there's something very important we need to tell you."

Mikoto paused and gauged their serious reactions, taking a step back from the sudden change in demeanor. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" Her eyes narrowed when she caught Usagi slowly rubbing her stomach. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" She glared at Itachi. "You, young man, are in big trouble!" She frantically searched her garden and pulled out a small lawn ornament to strike her son with. "You…assured me…you were using…protection." She huffed and puffed with each blow.

Itachi held out one hand in defense. "I didn't get anyone pregnant! Usagi! Tell her, damn it!"

"Mikoto-san, Itachi's right. I'm not pregnant at all!"

She eyed Itachi warily before throwing aside said ornament. "Oh…well, then. What's this serious talk about?"

"Mikoto-san, you have to first understand that nothing is at all like you were thinking about us."

"I don't think I understand."

"Well, the thing is…everything about me and Itachi has been a complete misunderstanding right from the start! I'm—"

"Yes, you're not pregnant. You've stated that already, sweetie."

"It's not just about being pregnant! Itachi and I are not—"

"Who's pregnant?"

The familiar and deep, commanding voice froze Usagi. She carefully turned her head towards the new presence in the courtyard.

"Who-is-pregnant?"

Usagi swallowed hard and recoiled.

Sensing her discomfort, Mikoto immediately intervened. "No one is pregnant, dear. This was all a misunderstanding on my part."

Fugaku's jaw tightened considerably and his glare was redirected over to his son who held his gaze in confirmation to the recent claim. "Good."

"Usagi, you were just about to say something, sweetie. What is it? Something about a big misunderstanding between you and Itachi?"

"A…a-ah…well, y-you s-see…" Usagi's head remained low after she held her gaze with Fugaku whose presence was anything but comforting. She looked over to Itachi who was showing her visible cues of encouragement to continue. She swallowed hard and attempted to construct her sentences, but upon one more glimpse of Fugaku's cold stare, she immediately departed from the venture. "You see…i-it's…nothing really! I just wanted to let Mikoto-san know that all the problems from the other night I was here were a big misunderstanding, and that her son and I are doing fine. Heh..heh."

Mikoto smiled softly. "Well I'm glad you two have resolved your differences."

Itachi sighed in exasperation but couldn't come down too hard on Usagi considering that she was still largely affected by his father's obvious discontent with her. For her sake, it was best to leave it at that and try again later.

Fugaku cleared his throat to regain his audience. "Tomorrow is a busy day. I have a few extra assignments prepared that need to be sorted through with utmost emergence. I expect no delay. The deadline is not optional."

Itachi nodded dumbly. "Ah, I understand." He was mildly surprised, however, when Fugaku turned his attention to Usagi rather than him.

"You can stay in Sasuke's room tonight. I expect you up early before dawn in preparation for tomorrow's work. If you need to return to your house to retrieve any items you deem necessary for the day than do so now. I have a tight schedule to keep so do not waste my time. Understood?"

"I…ah…but…"

"I've discussed this with your team captain. All the trivial duties you had prepared for tomorrow have been excused." He wanted to discard any excuses she had right away. "Is everything clear, then?"

"A…ah. Yes, sir."

"Very well. Until morning."

Usagi's voice found its way back to her as soon as he left. "What just happened here?"

"I'm not exactly sure, either. Kaa-san, did he discuss this with you?"

"No, this is all news to me as well."

Usagi sunk lower until Mikoto pulled her into a hug.

"Oh, don't be afraid of him. He's well-intentioned. He just…has his way of thinking how the world works. That's all. And sometimes, he becomes too caught up in it."

'Why me' resounded in her head, but she already knew the reason.

"I'll go talk to him, Usagi."

"Now, wait a minute."

The two turned to Mikoto who had her hand placed under her chin as the cogs in her mind turned. "Why is this necessarily a bad situation? What if this is his way of reaching out to you?"

"Kaa-san, I don't think—"

"Earlier today, I asked Fugaku to give the situation a chance. I told him that he needed to see Usagi for who she really is. Maybe, that's just what he's trying to do."

Usagi and Itachi worriedly looked at each other, not at all in agreement with Mikoto's reasoning.

"Oh come on! What harm could it do? Why don't you go along with it, Usagi? You might get something out of it, and it will give you a good chance to bond with him—show him what kind of person you are."

"Well, I guess it's only fair."

Mikoto placed two comforting hands on her shoulders. "Don't be afraid of him. Actually, he's probably much more afraid of you than you think. Show him how tough you can be," she winked.

"Okay, I'll try."

"Good, then why don't you grab your things and meet us back here."

"I…"

"Everything will be fine, sweetie. It will all work out. You'll see."

"Okay, then. I'll be right back."

Mikoto waved at her back but frowned when she saw her son in deep thought. "Itachi, it will be fine. Don't worry too much."

"I wish I had the confidence you do."

"What are you worried about?"

He sighed deeply and paused to observe the now light-orange sky. It was clear, no clouds in sight. A twinkle in the distance alerted him to a star and that night would eventually cloak the village. The breeze was pleasantly soft in its blow; leaves fell carelessly into the soft moist grass. A nightingale had made its perch on the branch above his head and began to call out into the premature evening. And as he stared at the pristine environment of his garden, there was a distinct feel of tranquility that only nature had to offer him.

"Everything."

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End.

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Notes:

1. Kyonshi (also called Jiang Shi) are a type of vampire/zombie creature in folklore thought to inhabit places of China/Japan. They bounce around from victim to victim. Some things that can stop them are purified water and special charms. They are thought to be very obsessive compulsive as they tend to count grains of rice that fall on the floor. This is the reason Minako's grandmother did all the things she did. (You can also put charms on your doors to stop them). Had to throw this in after a dear friend of mine introduced me to some American programming. Anyone seen The Walking Dead? It airs on FX in my country. It's pretty amazing.

2. Youkan are a type of sweets.

Regarding Reviews and PMs

I feel there are some things I need to address collectively since many people are asking it.

1. While I am not one for spoilers, I PROMISE you that there will be romance between Itachi and Usagi. Any relationship the two have will occur much later in the story, however. The focus right now is the humor and drama as well as the relationship of characters.

2. It's been a long time so I'm sure many have forgotten. In regards to Sasuke, he is on a mission at the moment with his team. All that will be explained later. But he is scheduled to return in the next chapter. I just felt he wasn't needed at the moment as it would have interfered with the antics of the Uchiha family and Usagi. Not to worry, he's pretty much good to stay starting in chapter 9. And you should see some interaction between him and Usagi.

3. Other characters that I confirm as of the moment are Ami, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Haruka, Seijuuro, Hotaru, and Michiru.

4. Usagi's past will not be explained in full detail although there will be the obligatory flashback chapter in the future. It will shed to light some things about her but I prefer to keep her past a mystery.

5. To reconfirm, Usagi's teammates are as follows: Seijuuro(Alan in the English anime version of SM), Hotaru and her captain Haruka.

Kasumi: I wanted SO much to reply to your review, but I will definitely be giving away too much if I did. You shall see many chapters later.

BIG thank you to everyone who is still reading this. Your love is felt and appreciated!

News:

SasuSakuMonth

It's that time again. SasuSaku Month is back for another go. Prompts will be posted up on March 28th and the actual event will take place in July. This gives people plenty of time to start working on their contributions. If you are interested in the event, want more information, or need links to the LiveJournal/Deviantart/Youtube accounts, PM me and I'll hook ya up! Good luck to any possible contributors.

Hierarchical Complexity

I have been working very hard trying to find time. Contrary to popular belief, I was not suffering from writer's block. I already had the story planned out, just not the time to write it. My work schedule is very demanding. Thank my betas for working a whole day/night with me to get this edited in time before another month passed. I love you guys! And readers, keep showing me your support in your reviews. They really inspire me!

The Language of Flowers

How many of you love this story as I do? Well, I have been wanting to see an update for this story myself. It's been... a year maybe?...since there was another chapter out. I grew worried so I contacted Moony92 in order to see how she was and what the status of this story is. After some time, I DID get a private message. Apparently, she has started college and it is consuming quite some time. For those of you who have not attended college, it is imperative you understand just how difficult it can be. The workload becomes too much to endure at times you feel like killing everyone around you because of it. And because of this stress, she has not managed the time to update. Take that and some writer's block and you've got one limbo story. I write this to let everyone know Moony92 has NOT given up on the story. She loves it, holds it dear and would love to continue were it not for those problems. Please, do not keep pressuring her into finishing the story. Demanding an update does nothing to relieve her of these problems and help her progress. Instead, to all those still interested, let's show our support.

Send her a private message with "Language of Flowers" as your subject. Tell her how much you love the story and offer a GOOD method for getting rid of writer's block. Be as creative as you would like. Also, offer some GOOD suggestions of what you would like to see in the story. You have no idea how much this kindles the fire in our minds. Be as specific as you can be. Offer some scenes you have played in your head. Finally, let her know you support her no matter what and at the end, tell her IceHaze sent you. ;3 Good luck!

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Preview of Chapter 9

Usagi deals with some 'competition' and her patience for the clan is put to the test.