Darkness, black night hung in stale humid air as he was sealed in dusty smelling cement. "I can't scream, I know I'm dead again as soon as the cement seals my nostrils. Why does this keep happening?" Fear was the last thing he remembered before that all to familiar blackness took him to lay in the dark for what he hoped could be forever this time…

He remembered the angel who saved him and he remembered their conversation a year before Jack lost him.

"What is the dark like, Jack? Tell me this time, please. Someday I will have to face it and I want to have an idea before I slip away, just a thought of what it is like." Ianto was waiting, wrapped around Jack while they lay on a pile of bedding that ended up off the bed and on to the floor of Jack's little room.

"Next time your place, Ianto. My back is starting to hurt in this little space. Or maybe the SUV, something different for a change, I haven't done it in a movie theater for awhile." He pushed himself up to lean on the mattress corner that hung off the bed frame that was broken and barely supporting the remainder of the mattress's weight.

Ianto got up. Even in this light Jack knew he was visibly pissed. "I need some coffee" was mumbled. He grabbed the sheet wrapping it around his slender waist he climbed the latter to the office above.

"What do you want me to say?" Jack yelled after him. There was really nothing to say. He didn't want Ianto or anyone he cared about to know what it was like. He had to live with death; he also had to live with coming back from it. He also would out live all of them. That doesn't make it okay to talk about. His own fears concerning his dying made it all the harder when people asked him questions.

"Damn!" He got out of the uncomfortable position stubbing his big toe on the bent bed frame. Naked he took the latter two rails at a time. In the office he could hear the clanging and breaking of unrelated coffee paraphernalia being slammed to all parts of the kitchen.

Ianto was ravening, Jack was sure he never seen the younger man act like this. He was use to the brooding, that pouting face but for Ianto to throw things… Jack ducked as a pan came sailing towards his head where he stood in front of his office door.

"Hey! That is company property!" Ianto stopped as he realized Jack was watching.

He didn't say anything just let the tears speak for him. Jack waited before he shook away his own anger and went to comfort Ianto. Just as he was going to put his arm around Ianto and pull him close, the young man swatted him away.

"That isn't going to work this time Jack. I need your answer. Owen, Suzie, Tosh, are gone, I don't want to be caught off guard like they were, well maybe not so much Suzie, she had a back door plan. But I want to prepare for it Jack. This is the life I choose, so I have a right to know the death I will have and how it will fair!" He pushed Jack away again as the immortal tried to catch him in an embrace.

"What do you want? I don't have those answers, it is just black, nothing but black. You know this; others have told you. Why do you think what I go through would be any different?"

Ianto fell to the floor legs spread out in front of him, his head bowed. Softly as if he is emotional reaction drained him he spoke. "I believe in you, if you said there was more, it wouldn't be so bad. That is being dead wouldn't be so bad... At least I could wait and catch a bit of you here and there, other wise I don't have anyone waiting for me, or anyone to wait for. I doubt Lisa is would even be waiting." He raised his head to find Jack kneeling in front of him.

"If I could make it different I would." Ianto let Jack hold him. But it didn't stop Jack from feeling some deep sadness for Ianto. Nor did it help when Jack realized that he had fallen in love with Ianto and someday he would have to say good-bye to him while he went on.

He loved to sweat as he fixed the fence in the early September sun. It was so real and grounding taking away the most recent memory of the last nightmare he had. He was glad his sleep was brief. If he had to do an eight hour night he would have woken up shaking the bed soaked in sweat and gods knows what else. So he bounced up after the storm to put little Jess back in his own bed. The poor kid fell asleep on the floor with Jack's pillow and blanket while in mid sentence. And as a result of failed sleep Jack had been working on the fence in the south field ever since.

Mauve became concerned when Jack didn't come in for breakfasted. So after she fed the chickens and her family she bought Jack an egg sandwich and a thermos of coffee.

He smiled at her as she handed him a cup. His face to her flashed the briefest of fear before he took a long swig and then devoured the sandwich leaving a bit of egg on his chin.

"When you first opened up your mouth to speak, I thought we have a gentleman in our mists. But then I saw you eat. Jack you are manner less at times." He grinned as he wiped his chin on his tee shirt. "See what I mean." She smiled her freckled nose crinkling a little.

He watched her closely. She was a beauty once but that had mutated to a certain grace as working a farm played on her appearance. Jess looked like her, the same strawberry blond hair and green eye color. Jess looked nothing like Kyle. Except when the boy was thinking or standing next to his Dad then you saw it. But Kyle was dark in the red department. He was almost a not ginger but in the sun things were a lot different with his hair. It was very red at those times.

"Do you know that if you weren't married I would run off with you? I would take you so far away and on a merry adventure. Would you like that Mauve?" He was closer to her as he dropped the cup to gather her up for a dance.

"Jack what has gotten into you, too much sun!" She was laughing as he danced her around a cow pie, dipping her as he hummed some impossible to understand tune.

" You have that effect on men, my love." It was Kyle who was perched on one of the newly fixed rails watching his wife stumble around as Jack smoothly gilded her around the grass.

"Kyle, stop him, he is mad!" She let out a squeal as Jack tipped her again.

"Or you could cut in Kyle? I might just dance her out of your life if you don't!" He moved over near Kyle slowing his pace to a gentle rocking of his partner.

"Don't mind if I do!" Kyle jumped down from the fence rail gathering his wife away from Jack. He moved Mauve around the pasture as Jack continued to hum the tune he was doing before.

The couple laughed together as Jack kept changing the tempo so they had to constantly change to the pace of their steps. It got to the point that they tripped over each other's feet and landed on the ground Mauve on top of Kyle. Kyle looked into his wife's smiling flushed face and drew her to him for a kiss. She returned it, forgetting that Jack was near by.

Jack smiled taking the cure that the couple wanted to be alone, he head for the barn to muck out the stalls. Later he would head to the other side of the pasture for some more fence repair. It was going to be a boring day but boring kept Jack focused.

Jess ran from the school bus to the house as lightening flashed from the sky. It crashed down near by almost a stone's throw from the house as he headed up the dirt driveway. He saw the gold lick the tree and felt the earth shake as he hit the steps. His mother was at the front door waiting with a towel.

"Thanks Ma!" He dropped his book bag on to the floor of the white washed porch drying his hair off with towel. His mother picked up the bag and told him to go into the laundry room and leave his wet close there.

"I laid out some dry ones for you. I just hope your father and Jack are okay. Jack was out in the field towards the north. Your father went into town to get that tractor part he need. Sam called and said it came in. Did you see if the creek flooded out?"

Jess had the towel around his head as he shook it no. " It hasn't been that heavy yet. Besides Dad would stay in town if it were that bad. Its just some old lightening and thunder." There was a crash from the sky again and a flash that had both mother and son turn their faces towards the hill. When the next flash and crash accrued, for a brief moment both saw a figure standing alone up on the hill as if it were watching them.

"He wouldn't be fool enough to be standing on the hill with this lightening? Mauve said thinking it was Jack. But when the next crash and flash accrued, the hill was empty of any form. "Most have been a trick of the light." She glanced one more time before hurrying Jess to the laundry room. "Never mind these storms are just enough to make anyone start to see things. They really are a life force of their own one may start to think." She peeked one more time as the rain stopped leaving just a low rumble of thunder signaling the storm had moved away. "Any way get changed, I have cookies for you."

Her son smiled reminding her of her lost oldest. The boys were very much alike. She just wished that Tyler were here with them. But know matter she felt somehow he was still around watching over them. Maybe he was just on the hill. She smiled to herself hoping that she was right.

Jack was in the middle of fixing the fence in the middle of the field when the first warning of the storm showed itself. The wind kicked up blowing the not yet ready to drop leaves off the trees about a hundred feet from the fence he was working on. The next sign was the low rumble, then the hail as the sky turned black and the air cold. He saw the lightning blot fall straight down from the sky and hit about two hundred yards away from him.

"I think I should be heading back." He gathered his tools putting them in the carrying case and head for the house. The wind started blowing something fierce as the pounding rain blinded him. He stumbled falling onto his knee. With a lot of effort he stood again slinging the case over shoulder and pushing with all his might against the wind that kept forcing him back a few paces. All of sudden the rain stopped.

He was not in the same field he was in before. He was somewhere else, he wasn't even sure that he was on Earth. There was a man standing in front of him, faceless at first watching him.

"Okay, who are you?" He shouted. The man didn't move nor did he lift his face. Jack took the bag holding it like a weapon. "This can go two ways, nice and easy or I start swinging."

He heard a deep booming laughter and like he was never there the man was gone and Jack was back in the pouring rain.

"I hate when that happens. It is the not knowing part of what just happened that bothers me. Something tells me its appearance isn't a one time thing." He thought as he dragged his body against the wind for a second time as the storm moved out. It was a little while until Jack returned to the house and was greeted by Jess and a warm batch of chocolate chip cookies. But he was still shaken; something was going on here that much his gut told him. Just what he had no clue.

Mauve hung up the phone and returned to the dinner table. Jack went back out before round two of the storm hit to get the animals back into the barn. Jess wanted to help but his mother wouldn't hear of it. Jack was explaining that someday Jess can be a man but now it was better that he just enjoy his childhood because at some point he would miss these times. Jess frowned up at the adults before he headed upstairs to do his homework.

"Was that Kyle?" Jack asked.

She nodded returning the napkin to her lap. "The bridge is out, he turned around and went back to town to wait out the flood. He said he might not be back tonight." She picked at her chicken huffing a little bit.

Jack blinked as he saw the worry on her face. "Hey it is just one night. What's the matter?"

"It's nothing, just a silly feeling. I get those sometimes." She popped the piece of chicken she chose finally into her mouth.

Jack nodded understanding jealousy when he heard it. His long life had its moments of brushing with the green-eyed monster with his partners.

"You were out again this week. If you don't want me Jack, then just tell me. I don't want to be your second choice for the evening if your first falls through." Ianto wasn't immune to the condition as Jack found out on more than one occasion.

Ianto always thought Jack was out looking for action. Jack knew he wasn't he just needed space. He was so use to being alone that having someone in his personal space constantly was uncomfortable. Ianto was just about moved into the Hub with him and it was a little much sometimes. No matter how Jack explained it Ianto didn't believe him. It took a year after they began their affair for Ianto to settle in and understand where Jack was coming from and that was only after John took his own life in Ianto's car. Jack couldn't tell Ianto that he had also died with John. Jack didn't want Ianto to know his secret because some how it would have wounded the younger man. As Jack had learned later when the immortal cat was out of the bag, Ianto loved to harp on things and death and Jack's immortality was two of those.

So to erase the pain of John's surrendering to his fate, Jack tenderly made love in such a close way that Ianto felt special. It was all he could do to make himself feel better. So for a time Ianto didn't get upset when Jack disappeared for a few hours here or there.

Except when Jack left with the Doctor and returned bringing John Hart just a few spaces behind Jack. Ianto was back at the insecurities yet again. He wanted Jack to commit to him. So did Jack to Ianto, just not in the same terms that Ianto understood. So that caused some problems.

Jack missed those problems like he missed Ianto. But all that could be done is to press forward. So he went back to his dinner not realizing his face was giving away a lot more now than it did back with Ianto.

Mauve was watching Jack when he returned from his thoughts. She had a keen insight and for a moment almost asked him what had his mind so far away. But she stopped herself when she remembered that Jess was there. She bowed her head eating with more effort this time. Jack noticed her reaction and went for his glass of water.

He turned his attention to Jess, just to change the darken mood. " So did you talk to that girl you like today?"

Jess blushed at first before a smile appeared on his chubby face. "Yes I did, it was short because her friends came by. They giggled a little after I left. But I don't think it was bad. She kept showing up everywhere I went." He broke off a piece of his bread and popped into his mouth smiling as he chewed it with a look of pride. "Oh and I got an a on the math test. Mrs. Roth said that bought my grade up to a C if I do well on the next two test and the homework, I can get the grade up to a B. Thanks Jack, I don't think I would have passed without your help!" Jess said happily.

"Anytime, my friend, anytime."

Mauve watched the interaction between her son and Jack. It was almost like Tyler was back with them in spirit transmitted through Jack. The happy banter between the two through the rest of dinner and all through dessert made her a little more curious about Jack. She swore to herself that she wouldn't pry, but after seeing Jack drift ways at dinner tonight and then seeing how he responded to Jess had her wondering just who this stranger was. So when the lights went out during the next storm and Jess was tuck in bed. Mauve asked Jack to sit with him for a bit in the oil lamp light. She wanted some answers and she swore she would get them.

End Part 2

TBC