I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Also, when Perry is in human disquise, he's going to be addressed as Pierre, and when he's in pet mode, he's Perry, and when he's in secret agent mode, he's Agent P. Warning, there is some cursing (in German).

Ch. 2: Doofen-what?

Dr. Doofenshmirtz rushed into class and got to his desk just as the bell rang, panting from exhaustion.

"*pant* Wow, I really need to work on my cardio." he wheezed. He then remembered that there were students in front of him.

"Um hello. Heh heh. This is awkward. I'm not used to talking to a full crowd of people unless it's about evil or I'm explaining a scheme. Okay, um, just relax Heinz, just pretend you're fighting Perry the Platypus." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said to himself.

He pulled out a remote and activated several cages that trapped the students.

"Whoops. Sorry, I'm used to fighting a platypus, so I'm still getting used to this."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz pressed a button and retracted the cages, freeing the now annoyed students.

"Right, umm, welcome to 10th grade science, I think. Some of you probably already know me as Vanessa's father, so no need to-"

"You're Vanessa's Dad? I thought he died or something." said a student.

"... Okay, maybe some introductions are in order. I'm Vanessa's Dad, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz and-"

"Doofen-what?" asked a female student.

"Doofenshmirtz."

"Daffenblortz?"

"*Sigh* Let me spell it on the board."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz wrote his name on the board in big letters so that everyone could see.

"Okay, that's how you spell it."

"Dockturf?" asked a student.

"NO! There's not even a "C" in there!"

While Dr. Doofenshmirtz tried to explain his name to his students, Phineas and the rest of the kids in his class were getting their first assignment.

Mr. Drowl said, "Class, we're going to spend the entire day working on a project."

"Awwww." groaned the kids.

"We are going to... tell everyone how your summer was."

"HUH?" said everyone.

"I want you to make like a poster or callage, or whatever and present it to the class explaining what you did over the summer in groups. You have all day to work on them but no slacking off."

"Ferb, I know what we're going to make today." said Phineas. "Hey, where's Per- I mean Pierre?"

"He went to get a drink of water." said Isabella.

At that moment, Pierre came back wiping some water from his cheek.

"Grgrgrgrgrg." chattered Pierre.

Meanwhile, in Juniors English...

Candace was in her seat trying to relax, but without Stacy to gossip with and no way of knowing what her brothers were up to, she was having a hard time.

"Come on Candace, focus! Just because this is the first time you're not in the same class as Jeremy or Stacy, doesn't mean you shouldn't freak out." said Candace to herself.

"Hello, class." said Grandma Flectcher, as she came in wearing a fancy dress. "Hello Candace." she waved.

Candace just put her head on the table in embarassment. "Now I can freak out."

Back in Doofenshmirtz's First Period Science Claaaaaaass!

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ!" yelled Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Duckitpy" said a student.

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ!"

BRRRRRRIIINNNNGG!

The bell rang and all the students left.

"Did I just spend the entire period trying to tell them what my name was?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Yes, yes you did." said Norm, who was ordered to stay in the broom closet.

"Ugh, let's see how this next period goes."

1 minute later...

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ!" yelled Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Dollaman?" asked a student.

"...I'm feeling a strange sense of Deja Vu."

Meanwhile, in History, Candace was trying to block the sound of the other kids laughing at her Grandpa, who thought is was a good idea to teach kids about how the America was founded by dressing as half-naked Native American.

"Now, before the arrival of the foreigners, early Native American were able to socialize and live in peace. But as soon as the foreigner came, they were brought down by new diseases and other threats they weren't prepared for, that wiped them out almost instantly.

"Lucky them. I have to endure a long, painful death." moaned Candace.

BRRRRIIIINNNNG!

Candace grabbed her stuff and zoomed out of the class.

"Finally, the worst part is over." she said arriving at Philiosophy.

Professor Eforp was writing on the board when he saw Candace. "Ah! You must be Candace." said Professor Eforp.

"Phew, for a second I thought there'd be something embar-"

"SANDWICHES!"

BASH!

Candace was jumped by Conk, like a dog jumping up on a human.

"You came at the perfect time. Conk needs to be walked." said Professor Eforp, holding Og's leash.

"WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CAVEMAN!" Candace asked.

"I want to study man in his earliest stages for philosophical reasons. Plus, I'm teaching him soccer."

Candace got the leash on Conk, but he sprinted off, dragging Candace behind him.

"How. Could. This. Get. Worse?" Candace said.

Just then, she was dragged by Jeremy.

"Candace?" Jeremy said.

"Never mind." she moaned.

As she struggled to regain control, she was dragged past Dr. Doofenshmirtz's class, where even from outside people could hear his shouting. Dr. Doofenshmirtz tried everything: writing his name, explaining how to pronounce it, and how you said each letter, but Dr. Doofenshmirtz couldn't get them to learn his name.

"Okay, let me try it like this." said Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Do you know my daughter Vanessa?" he asked the class.

"Yes." replied the class altogether.

"What is her last name?"

"Doofenshmirtz."

"Okay, and what is our mayor's last name?"

"Doofenshmirtz."

"Good, now what is my name?"

"Dr. Heinz..."

"Yes."

"...Jahewnfrepowonc3486pawnfed?"

He walked to the chalkboard and started to bang his head against the wall.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." he said/

Then, he stopped, took a deep breath and asked, "Are you messing with me or are you really having this much trouble remembering my name."

"We are having trouble, but we're having fun annoying you at the same time, just to see if we can push you over the limit, Mr. Doofenshmirtz."

"Wait, you just said my name! Say that again!"

"Mr. Doofenshmirtz."

"Again."

"Mr. Doofenshmirtz."

"Once more."

"Mr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Get rid of Mr. and add Dr."

"Dr. Doflentucle?"

"...Will you excuse me for a moment?" he said as he walked into the broom closet and closed the door.

(Warning, if you know German, than please skip these next few lines as they are actual German curses. Do not try to look these up.)

"Those du gorilla blau arsch, hurensohn, depp, drecksack, horst, schweinehund, can Geh Zum Teufel, Gottverdammt!" cursed Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Sir, whatch your language. That's PG-13, if we were in German." said Norm, who was also in the closet.

"That does it Norm. I am going to make sure they remember my name one way, or another." Dr. Doofenshmirtz hissed.

"Couldn't you just let them call you "Mr. Doofenshmirtz"." Norm suggested.

"Yes. And I could disassemble you and use you to make a new inator?"

"*Sigh* What's the plan today, sir?"

"I'll need a boombox, a microphone, some boom juice, a tuna salad, a puppet, $10, some supplies from Brain Bath & Beyond, and if all else fails, a tiger and a shark tank."

"Should I buy the sharks as well?"

"No. That's just what they want us to do."

Candace was still being dragged by Conk, screaming loudly.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as Conk sprinted past the library.

"SHHHH!" said a librarian.

"aaaaaaaaa."

She lost her grip and was launched into a nearby garbage can.

WHAM!

Conk got away, but Candace wasn't focused on him. She was having the worst day of her life. Her grandparents were embarassing her, she was a hit on Youtube thanks to someone who recorded her being pulled by Conk, and someone reminded everyone about the "Swamp Monster of Danville" video she was in.

As she pulled herself out of the trashcan, she noticed some delivery men coming to a classroom. She glared at them and 3 words came to mind: Phineas and Ferb. She threw away a piece of trash that was on her and peered into the classroom.

While everyone else was making posters, diaramas, and collages, Phineas, Ferb, Buford, Isabella, and Baljeet were building some sort of helmet with screwdrivers and circuit boards.

"Grrrr. I should have known those two would do something bustworthy." she said to herself.

"Ahem." said Mr. Drowl.

Candace whipped around and saw Mr. Drowl.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" he asked.

"I'm a T.A. doing... T.A. stuff." Candace said.

"Do you have proof?" he asked.

Candace checked to find the pass that she needed, but all she found was chewed up paper and caveman sized bites. Mr. Drowl was getting impatient and wanted an explanation.

"Ummm, do you know that some kids ordered something to be delivered to the school and is in your class?" Candace asked.

"WHAT!" he yelled. He forgot about Candace and rushed in and saw Phineas and Ferb constructing something.

"Hi Mr. Drowl. How was the water fountain?" Phineas asked naively.

"Refreshing, but what is this?"

"Our project."

"It is?"

"Yeah. Did we do something wrong? I mean you said we could make whatever to present to the class how our summer went."

"That is true, but is it true you ordered something to be delivered to the school? If so, you two could get in trouble."

"Really?"

"Sorry boys, I don't write the rules, I just enforce them."

"Funny you should mention that. According to the school rules, they say that deliveries made to the school are acceptable as long as they're for educational purposes and on the list of items that can be ordered."

"How do you know that?"

"We wrote the rules."

Ferb pulled out the rule book, and he pointed to the seal labeled "Approved by the Schoolboard" and where said "Written by Phineas and Ferb Flynn-Fletcher". Ferb showed him the page where the list was on. After skimming through it, Mr. Drowl said "Alright boys, sorry to interrupt. Carry on."

Candace was watching from the little window on the door, growling so much the window fogged up.

Candace said to herself, "They might have won this time, but by the end of the day, they'll be soooooo-"

BRRRRRRINGG!

"YES! LUNCH!" cheered Buford.

SLAM!

The door slammed open as all the kids ran out to enjoy lunch, not noticing Candace, who was now squished like a pancake.

"-busted." she said as she fell to the ground.

End of Ch. 2

Uh-Oh, Candace is on the loose (and Conk as well). Not to mention, Dr. D, Phineas, and Ferb are up to their old tricks. What could these masterminds be up to? Can Candace actually bust them? Will Vanessa survive the embarassment of having her Dad use a new inator on her class (and most likely fail). Will anyone remember Dr. Doo-Duf-Doi- Whatever his name's name? Find out in Ch. 3: What's on the Menu?