It always feels so silly to put a disclaimer on stories. I do not own John Cena, or any other reference to WWE I might make. I do however own Gunnar the German Shepherd Dog.
Charlie was looking for her housekey on the huge ring of keys, thinking how much she needed to organize it.
A voice behind her startled her. "Glasspacks?"
"Excuse me?"
"Glasspacks. On the car. You were giving off vibrations all the way up the street.", said John, who had finally unwrapped his giant frame from the rental car that was clearly too small for him.
Charlie raised an eyebrow, the only Rock-like thing she could do. "Uh-huh. Come on in." She was promptly given a crotch shot by Gunnar, her four-year-old German Shepherd who REALLY needed to go out but was eyeing John suspiciously.
"Okay, big dog. Go do your thing and come back and meet the trespasser. John, Make yourself at home. That's the remote, the bathroom is at the end of the hall, and the fridge is where you usually find one. I'm going to change."
John went into the kitchen, cracked a beer from the fridge and laughed at what he saw on the counter.
Charlie re-entered the room in sweats and a tank embossed with the name of an air ambulance, and their insider slogan: You Gotta Be Sick To Fly With US. "What's so funny in here?"
"Really? Fruity Pebbles? Did you call and get a neighbor to put this out? And you know, when girls go to slip into something more comfortable, they don't usually come back in sweatpants."
"First, I eat kiddie cereal all the time, so blow me; and second, these are Victoria's Secret sweats so they're technically still girly. And you're one to talk about what anyone wears, jorts-boy. At least I keep it inside my own house."
John eyed her, trying to figure out whether or not she was kidding. Charlie couldn't keep a straight face, despite really trying. She cracked up.
"You snort! You call me jorts-boy when you're sweats wearing girl who snorts when she laughs?" John knew when he had someone, and he had her, this time.
"Kiss my ass. Go watch tv or something, I'm going to feed my dog, and then work on feeding us."
"I thought it was a nice ass in the uniform pants, but now, just so you know, I think you have a great ass." He got away just in time to avoid the flying sponge that was coming at his head.
She let the dog in, and gave him his food. Gunnar is used to being the only man in her life and keeps an eye on the living room. "You're still the man, Guns..even if we were each other's type; neither of us is available to date. He's busy and I'm..not ready." The dog appeared to be convinced, or was just hungry. Either way, he settled into his bowl.
She threw a couple artichokes in the steamer, and put the stroganoff in the oven to warm. She turned on the water in the sink and grabbed some dish soap, grumbling at herself for not doing the breakfast dishes when a pair of arms encircled her.
She stiffened, and reacted automatically with her work brain. Not her best call that day.
Before she had a handle on what was going on, the most popular wrestler in the free world was on his back on her kitchen floor and she had the heel of her palm ready to strike his face.
"Fuck. I didn't mean to do that."
"Wow, so noted. No touching. I was really just coming in to say thank you and ask if there was something I could do to help."
Charlie offered her hand to help him up.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't hear you behind me and when someone does that when I don't know they're there, they usually have some sort of badness in mind. It happens enough at work that this reaction happens before I engage the brain. Did I hurt you?"
He took her hand and scoffed. "Woman, I'm John Cena. I don't get hurt like that. Your floor doesn't give the way a ring does though, that's for sure."
"Okay, now I feel bad. Can I get you anything, tylenol, heating pad, tequila?"
"How about we start over? Turn around." He put his arms around her from behind her again, and when he whispered low into her ear, all she noticed was how good he smelled and how much what he was saying sounded like a growl.
The timer on the steamer chose right then to ring, which pulled her right out of whatever she might have been thinking.
"What do you eat with your artichoke?"
"Uh. Whatever you're having, I don't have a lot of choke experience."
"Really? That's your double entendre choice?"
"Have a better one, blondie?"
She decided to let that one go. "No. It seems I do not. Sit. Dinner's up. Red wine, or do you need to have some protein shake or 5-hour energy or some bodybuilding nonsense?
"I'll take the wine, perhaps it'll dull some of the pain from my back meeting your floor. If not, the tannins are good for for the cardiovascular system."
Charlie pulled down two glasses while she digested the tannins comment and they sat down to eat.
"So", said John, the internet is full of my personal life, so I'm sure you know I'm divorced. How about you? Husband? Boyfriend? FB?"
"I have a hard time believing you divorced your wife because she was over-decorating the house or whatever, there had to be more to it than that."
"There was. You're avoiding the question."
"Fine. No husband. Also divorced. He's gay. No time for a boyfriend, I have a lot of stuff going on, and men who seem to think that was awesome when it starts because they don't want a clingy chick, aren't so keen on it when they find out I'm really like this. Why do you care about my Facebook?"
"Facebook?"
"Yeah, you said FB. You can look at that, it says single, I swear."
He had a look of confusion on his face...then understanding..then he laughed. Hard. "No, no, no. Fuckbuddy. Friends with benefits? One night stands?"
Charlie blushed, more for the misunderstanding than the question. She's usually much quicker on the uptake than that.
"I have fuckbuddy candidates, but I've not done anything about it in a long time. When I did, it always changed the friendship and it was never as good as it was, and I don't want to risk that again. I know it happens a lot in your business though.
Not the friends with benefits so much, but I've seen one night stands in the making, and when I've worked several shows in a row, like the Bakersfield/San Jose/Sacto shows, I see the same wrestler with a different girl in each city, and it's not like they're pick up girls-they know them by name and they're on the door list. It just looks...I don't even have a word for it, and besides it's not my business-but my point is, I'm sure it's that way in every city. You can't really maintain a dating relationship with someone, and I get that."
He thought a minute, and nodded. "Yeah, that's the way some of them are, and I'd be lying if I said I'd never done anything like pick up a female fan and take them to my room, but..not since I decided it was time to grow up and that's when I got engaged. I haven't done it since then, so it's been awhile."
That was the start of probably the best meal Charlotte had had in years. Once they got past the questions that always seems to come first, availability and sexuality, they settled into an easy pace about things that they both enjoyed. They were both heavy volunteers for different groups, liked to sing in the car, enjoyed lively debates on politics for the sole reason of the exchange of ideas and liked the same contestant in RuPaul's Drag Race.
John poured the rest of the wine into each of their glasses and they went into the living room to relax and watch tv.
"I have a pet peeve about dishes in the sink. Let me rinse them and toss them in the dishwasher, I'll be right back." She handed John the remote to the tv and went into the kitchen for the fastest dish rinse of all time, thinking to herself "I think Paul was right, I think I just might have made a friend who gets who I am."
Charlie returned to the living room wiping her hands, to find John fast asleep on her couch with the dog laying next to him, John's hand draped on his head.
She smiled, threw her Eeyore blanket over him-which did not even come close to covering him-turned out the lights, and called her dog, who always slept at the foot of her bed.
Gunnar wagged his tail and stayed right where he was.
"Traitor."
She went to her room and set her alarm for far too early..she had a long day the next day. Several hours of her favorite volunteer job, so she was looking forward to that; and a long drive to the Arco Arena, for the Smackdown taping. She was asleep instantly.