Sadly, I don't own Phineas and Ferb.

Ch. 2: Not So Schnelle!

As Phineas and Ferb started repairing some of their old vehicles, Perry patiently waited at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's summer home in pet mode to try and get the self-destruct remote from Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Heinz was eager for Roger to arrive with his parents so that he could make Roger look bad like a kid on Christmas waiting to open his presents. Dr. Doofenshmirtz saw Roger's limo park next to the house and saw Roger exit with his parents and secretary, Melanie.

"Yes! They're here, Perry the Platypus. I can't wait to see the look on their faces. Hee hee." He chuckled.

He grinned as Roger showed them the backyard.

"Happy Anniversary Mother and Father." Said Roger, presenting the backyard.

"*Gasp* Roger!" exclaimed his mother. "This house. It's…it's….."

"Yes, yeeeeeees?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz said eagerly.

"...Amazing. Oh Roger, you have made me so happy."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's heart sank and frowned as he watched his mother embrace Roger and his father pat him on the back.

"What! Bu-bu-but this place is horrible! I mean look at that tree." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said.

"I like it. It reminds me of Gimmelshtump." Said Heinz's father.

"But-but what about the neighbor, I hear he blows leaves into the yard, and doesn't pick up after his dog, and-"started Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"And where is your gift?" Heinz's dad asked.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz froze when he remembered that he was too focused on planning the party and making Roger look bad to get a present.

"Ummmm, I set up the party?" he said.

"But I set everything." Said Norm.

"Quiet you!" said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Oh Heinz, how could you forget? It's a very special day for our parents." Said Roger.

"We are very disappointed Heinz." Said Heinz's mother.

"Actually," said Heinz's dad. "I know something he can do."

5 minutes later…..

"Not one word, Perry the Platypus." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was now dressed as a lawn gnome. After a few minutes, he managed to get his old garden gnome outfit on and sat down in a fetal-like position and stood still with his hands to his side.

"Bewegen sich nicht!" shouted Heinz's father.

Meanwhile, Candace was in the house talking with Stacy on the phone.

Stacy was chattering on the phone, "….And she was like "uh-huh" and he was like "nuh-uh" and his friend was like-"

"Hold on Stacy, I just got a text." Said Candace.

She looked at the text and it read "At lame party for grandparents. Dad just got more embarrassing."

"Who's it from?" Stacy asked.

"Uhhh, oh it's from Vanessa. Something embarrassing just happened. I'll text her to see how bad it is."

"Candace, as much as I want to hear some boring gossip-"

"Hold on she sent a picture. …..Wow that's bad."

"-But are you now friends with that Vanessa girl?"

"Kinda. We're both into busting and she's kinda cool."

"Well at least I don't have to hear you rant about busting."

"Yeah it is kind of- hey what do you mean "ranting"? I don't rant."

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Candace heard the sounds of a tow truck and started hear drills and knew her brothers were up to something.

"Stacy, I'll call you back." Candace said

"Wait! Can I at least get the pic-" Stacy asked before being cut off. As she headed to the boys, she said "Those two are so-"

"-Busted, Perry the Platypus." Said Heinz Doofenshmirtz back at the party. "My entire plan is busted or whatever the kids say."

"Bewegen sich nicht!" shouted Heinz's father.

"Yes Heinz, be quiet. That construction noise is annoying enough as it is. We don't need you making it harder to hear." Said Heinz's mother.

"Grrrrr." Growled Heinz. Suddenly, he got an idea.

"That's it! Maybe if I can stop that noise, my parents will cut me some slack." Said Dr. Doofenshmitz. Perry gave him a "Really?" look.

"What? At this point I'm desperate. I've got to do something while I still have some dignity." With that, Dr. Doofenshmirtz started hopping away, still in the same position. Perry decided to head home, and was actually going faster than Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb just finished remaking their ride just as Isabella brought them hers.

"Um Phineas? Do you think you and Ferb can fix my ride?" Isabella asked.

"Sure, what is it?" Phineas asked.

Isabella pointed to it and Phineas asked "Isn't it a bit old?"

"Yes yes it is."

"Phineas, can I have a word with you?" Grandpa Fletcher asked.

"Sure. Ferb, why don't you get started on Isabella's ride."

Ferb gave a thumbs up and while Phineas talked with his grandpa.

"Phineas, are you sure this race is a good idea?" Grandpa Fletcher asked.

"Well it wasn't a race at first, but now it might be fun. I'm sure Dad will love it." Phineas said.

"Right, well could you errr make some more adjustments to the Holy Mackerel?"

"Like what?"

"Oh not much. Just airbags, seatbelts, ejector seats-"

"Grandpa if I didn't know any better I'd say you were worried about Dad driving."

"No no no no no no no no no, that's not it." said Grandpa Fletcher.

Candace walked over and said "Alright, you two better tell me what's going on else you two are busted!"

"Okay I admit, I'm a little worried about riding with your father." Admitted Grandpa Fletcher.

"…. Uuuh, what just happened?" Candace asked.

"We're having a race, and Grandpa is nervous about riding in the Holy Mackerel while Dad drives. By the way, why are you so worried?" Phineas asked,

"Well honestly, I don't think your father is really the very best driver around." Grandpa Fletcher.

"I can believe that." Said Candace.

"What do you mean?" Phineas asked.

Flashback

"Hon, you know we drive on the right." Said Linda about Lawrence's traffic tickets.

"Hmm, seems to be a lot more corn on this shortcut." Said Lawrence as he drove the Rv through a field of corn.

"Nosebud." Said Captain Webber, before nearly getting hit by the runaway boat Lawrence, Perry, Ferb, and Phineas were on.

"Don't worry I'll steer us back to shore." Said Lawrence before the boat headed into a whirlpool and they got stranded.

End of Flashback

"Okay, maybe he's a little bad at driving." Admitted Phineas.

"*Pant* *Pant* Pant*"

"Does anyone hear something?" Candace asked.

Everyone looked at saw that it was Dr. Doofenshmirtz still trying to hop to their house. He finally reached the house, still in the same position as he was earlier, but was now exhausted and gasping for air. Perry had already beaten the mad scientist to the house minutes ago and was just watching his owners.

"Keep *Pant* it *Pant* down." He wheezed.

"Dr. D?" Phineas asked.

"*Pant* Oh hi boys. *pant* Whatcha doin?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked. Isabella turned around and sneered at him.

"We're setting up for a big race and making some rides." Phineas explained. "Why are you dressed as a lawn gnome?"

"It's a long story, that I'd be happy and sad to tell you about. It all started long ago….."

Flashb-

"There you are Heinz." Said Roger, interrupting the flashback. "We were wondering where you ran off."

Following Roger was Heinz's parents, Norm, and Vanessa.

"Hey Candace." Said Vanessa.

Hey Vanessa. Did your dad embarrassing you or doing something evil?" Candace asked.

"First one. Your brothers doing something bust-worthy?"

"Always."

"So what are you boys doing?" Roger asked.

"We're getting ready to race against our friends, Grandpa, and Dad." Said Phineas.

"Get your engines started." Norm said.

"Oh yes, I remember when Heinz and Roger raced once. It was the day became the pride of our lives, and Heinz…. Not so much." Said Heinz's mom.

"What happened?" Phineas asked.

"Well it all started back-"started Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Bewegen sich nicht!" shouted Heinz's father.

"Perhaps I should tell it." said Roger. Heinz stayed silently, sneering angrily at Roger. "You see when I first came to America; Heinz challenged me to a race for our parents' love. I ended up winning and Heinz lost."

"Oh Roger, you are such a good story teller." Said Heinz's mom.

Vanessa noticed her dad acting strange. He was gritting his teeth and panting angrily like a bull on Mars.

"Ugh, guys you might want to back up." Suggested Vanessa.

Ferb obeyed while staring at Vanessa while Phineas asked "Why?"

Vanessa pulled him back as she said "Because my dad is about to explode."

"Literally?" Buford asked.

"For once no." Vanessa said.

"THAT. IS. IT!" shouted Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as he got up and threw his garden gnome outfit off which was over his lab coat.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's father said "Bewegen-"

"NO! You bewegen sich nicht!" shouted Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "You can outdo at kickball, steal our parent's love, and even do a better job at becoming the ruler of the Tri-State Area. But nobody tells a back story about my life, but ME! Here's what really happened!"

Angry More Descriptive Flashback!

"You see, after taking so much abuse in Gimmelshtump, I finally got enough money to leave and go to America."

Heinz looks the same as when he dated Linda but is standing straight, but upon entering the school gets wedgied by a nerd.

"I wasn't the most popular guy in high school, so I decided the only way was to get a car. So after getting a job as Bratwurst salesman and some money I got from my parents, I managed to buy a car."

Heinz uses the money and buys a run down car. He drives it to school and manages to impress some people, one of them Linda Flynn.

"I soon became one of the smartest, most popular kids in schools. That is until Roger enrolled."

Heinz is signing autographs when Roger comes through the door shining and gaining everyone's attention and affection.

"He was taking everything I heard worked so hard to attain, so when my mother and father came to visit I challenged Roger to the Race of Ehre or Honor."

Young Heinz approaches Roger and challenges him, shocking their parents. It changes to them at night with a crowd of people watching.

"Basically in the race of Ehre, the winners get all of the loser's honor and love he received as well as one item/service. We both bet our cars along with the love of our parents."

Heinz and Roger start the race, as Heinz gets ahead of Roger.

"Things were looking good for me, that is until I found that my brakes wouldn't work"

Heinz tries to stop, but the brakes do nothing and crash into a tree. Roger pulled Heinz out but Heinz was bruised and hunched over.

"Roger won, and after winning came back to rescue. He took my dignity and popularity, and all the respect my parents had for me, but left me my car, which was a useless wreck. However I did get some pity points from my ex-wife when we first met, but still." ended Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

End of Flashback!

"And I know you had something to do with it." Dr. Doofenshmirtz accused Roger.

"What?" Roger asked.

"You sabotaged my breaks so I would crash. I saw you doing something to my car before the race."

"I was checking your oil levels."

"Liar! I know you cheated and I want a rematch. If I win, mother and father have to start treating me right like they should." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Hey, you could join our race if you want." Phineas offered.

"Perfect. What do you say Roger?"

"*Sigh* Fine, but what are you going to wager." Roger asked.

"Umm, umm, oh my Destruction-inator." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Perry's eyes widened in shock.

"Okay, and I'll wager one day of being the mayor. If you win-"

"What about us?" Buford asked.

"Okay fine, if you lose, the winner gets your invention and I get our parents' love and if you win, you can keep your invention and be mayor for a day."

"And no paperwork! I want to be able to make laws and actually rule the Tri-State Area." Said Heinz.

"Fine." Roger agreed.

Major Monogram and Carl heard that part, and drove over to the where Perry was. Major Monogram stuck his head out of the window and said "Hello, uh we're race enthusiasts who aren't members of a secret organization that wants to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz from becoming mayor or giving someone his Destruction-inator and we'd like to be apart of your race."

"What did you say you weren't part of?" Baljeet asked.

"We'll give the winner free ice cream." Carl added.

"Deal." Buford said. "I'll offer one day of protection from me and Baljeet for a day."

"Why am I being used as collateral?" Baljeet asked.

"Can I race?" Irving asked from behind a bush.

"What will you offer?" Isabella asked.

"How about that fancy scrapbook of Dinnerbell and Ferb's adventures." Buford suggested.

"What? But it has information about everything Phineas and Ferb have done all summer."

"Do ya wanna race or not?"

"*Sigh* Fine."

"I guess I could provide some free Fireside Girl's cupcakes." Said Isabella.

"Ferb and I could offer our services and make anything the winner wants. Candace, did you or Vanessa want to race?" Phineas asked.

"Actually-" Vanessa was cut off as Candace placed her hand over Vanessa's mouth.

"Yes, we promise to not bust the winner for one day." Candace said.

"Great. I guess that's everyone." Phineas said.

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go confront Big Black Boots Boris the Bully before the adrenaline wears off and I come to my senses and realize what I'm doing." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz

As everyone went their separate ways to get started on their rides, Candace removed her hand from Vanessa's mouth and Vanessa said "What the heck! Why did you do that?"

"So that we can finally do some busting. Think about it: if we win, I could use that scrapbook to bust my brother's to my mom and with your Dad's weapon thing, we can bust him to your mom." Explained Candace.

"And if they disappear?" Vanessa asked.

"If they do, we can make laws as mayor to make it impossible not to bust your dad and my brother. Besides, one of our moms is bound to see the dangerous race my brothers are putting on."

"…..Okay, I'm in." she answered.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! It wore off, it wore off!" screamed Heinz as he ran away from Boris.

End of Ch. 2

Looks like the stakes have been raised. Who will win the chance to be mayor and use the Destruction-inator? Find out in the next chapter, and please review, pretty please?