I don't own Phineas and Ferb and thanks to everyone who voted for which episode I should write about.

Episode 5: The Doof and the Bees

*Cue soft music*

The sun rises as Phineas and Ferb are still in bed, as light music plays.

Then the alarm goes off as rock music plays and the boys wake up.

"Ferb, I know what we're going to do today." said Phineas.

*Rock music starts playing*

Band: The boys built projects during the entire summer

But now schools back, but they won't let it be a bummer.

With their friends and sister, they'll rock the school

The screen shows the super school as they zoom in on Candace snooping around and Dr. D fighting Perry

While Candace tries to keep her cool.

Dr. D is teaching high school science,

Perry stops him before there's violence

Candace and Vanessa spend the whole day lusting

For some mega time BUSTING!

But those two can't curb

Dr. D, Phineas, Perry, or Feeeeerb.

As theeeeeeey (You see how I held that note, pretty good, huh?)

(Cue montage of clips)

Build paper airplane airlines

Color outside of the lines

Find out what the Thinker was thinkin'

While interviewing Lincoln

Be in the Play, "Peter Pan"

Study Da Vinci's old plans

While in gym throw a Holy Mary pass

Using chainsaws in wood shop class

Working hard to get an A

As everyone hears Perry say...

"Grgrgrgrgrgrgrggr." chattered Perry.

As you can see there's a whole lot of stuff to do,

While Candace keeps getting fooled

Candace: HEY!

So stick with us as Phineas and Ferb

Are gonna get Schoooooled

(Go to Phineas, Ferb as they play their instruments like in the beginning except now Perry, Isabella, Vanessa, Buford, and Baljeet playing.)

So stick around as Phineas and Ferb

Are gonnaaa geeeet schooooooled!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz and tries to blast Perry with an inator, but misses and hits the "Phineas and Ferb" sign and adds the word "School'd" underneath it. He disappears and Perry goes into pet mode as Candace walks in.

"MOM! Phineas and Ferb made a spin-off!" yelled Candace.

Ch. 1: Can't I Just Quit?

It was early in the morning when Dr. Doofenshmirtz came to the school. During the summer, he would have slept in til nine, but since he started working at the school, he's been waking up around seven o' clock. He took a sip from his coffee cup that Pierre Equitulpus gave him as he entered his classroom with Norm right behind him carrying a box labeled "Inator parts". Dr. Doofenshmirtz sat in his chair and sighed, enjoying the morning peace that he rarely got to enjoy.

"Ahhh, this is nice. Nothing but the sound of my thoughts for conquering the Tri-State Area and moans of kids who have a zero period." said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Why did I even sign up for this?" a kid late for his zero period class said.

"Ahhhhh." he sighed as he leaned into his chair. "Nothing could ruin this moment. Oh, I better check what I have to teach today so that I'm actually prepared." he said, remembering how last time he had to improvise a lesson.

He took out his lesson plan and checked what he had to teach. As he examined the book, he took another sip of coffee and read.

"Come on, please be something evil." he said to himself. He always secretly wished this because it was Tuesday, and Vanessa had his class every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, and everyday he wished that he could teach something evil to her. Unfortunately, one look at the lesson plan and he froze. His cheery attitude disappeared as he read what was written in the book.

Sex Ed

"..."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was shocked and didn't know what to say.

Meanwhile, at OWCA...

Carl was busily preparing the break room for all the agents and Major Monogram. He checked all the databases, updated all the agents licenses and pet licenses, and double checked for any evil activities, and it wasn't even 8:00. He was humming "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" as he poured kibble into the dog bowls all marked "Agent D".

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Dr. Doofenshmirtz from the school. His scream shook trees and scared birds, deer raised their heads from the grass, and a badly hurt man in a loincloth was once again attacked by monkeys.

Carl ended up overfilling a bowl and gasped.

"I know that scream." Carl said. He pulled out his cell phone and called Major Monogram. "Sir, Sir!"

"What is it Carl? Don't you know that I'm in the middle of something important." Major Monogram said as he read the funny pages in the newspaper while eating breakfast.

"Sir, we might have a D-48." Carl said.

Major Monogram put down the paper and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, positive."

"Very well." Major Monogram folded the comics in half, hit three panels of three different cartoons and a video transmitter started recording him.

At the Flynn-Fletcher house, the family was starting to have breakfast. Phineas and Ferb were reading from the comics, chuckling at one of the strips.

"Heh heh, classic." Phineas chuckled. "Hey, maybe Perry might want to read one."

Ferb dropped the comics in front of Perry while he was in pet mode. Perry saw something on it and took the paper with him in the next room. When he was sure everyone was busy, he looked over at the newly forming comic stip called "Agent P-unnies" which had a 3 panels with a drawing of Major Monogram in each one giving him his mission. Perry started reading them to see what was up.

"Agent P, we have just received news that a D-48 was heard. A Doofenshmirtz level 48 yell. Which can only mean that he royally messed up on one of his inators and it is now out of control. Go do your stuff." said the Major Monogram in each panel.

Before Perry could even put his fedora on, Phineas picked him up and took him to the car.

"Time for school, boy." Phineas said.

He placed the monotreme on his lap as the family piled into the car and drove to the school.

Rrrrrrring!

"I wonder who that could be?" Linda wondered as she answered her phone. "Hello? Oh hi. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I'm sorry, but that could take a couple weeks. Uh-huh. Alright, good bye." said Linda as she hung up.

"Who was it?" Phineas asked.

"Some teacher who wanted to quit just to get out of teaching an embarassing lesson." Linda responded. "Some people just try to do anything to get out embarassing situations. Like that old janitor we have that doesn't want us to give him a birthday party."

"Oh you mean the lonely old chap that shakes his only hand at kids and always scowls?" Lawrence asked.

"Yes, yes I do."

"Wow. That sounds kinda sad." Phineas said. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today."

"Ugh, that's just great. What kind of country do we live in where a man can't quit his job without taking weeks to do the paperwork?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz groaned as he put his phone away.

"Sir, I still do not see what the big deal is." Norm said.

"Of course you don't, you're not a dad."

"That does not explain much."

He groaned as he looked at the robot man and said, "The reason that I'm worrying is that I haven't given Vanessa the "birds and the bees" talk yet. I would have done it, but I didn't want to traumatize her like my parents did when I was child, which was so bad I can't even do a backstory without screaming. I tried to make it less gross, but apparently I can't without making it sound embarassing. Now, not only do I have to tell her about it, I have to tell an entire class about it. It's a parent's worst nightmare."

"You mean the one with the anvil and-"

"No, that's a complete different nightmare that only I have. Everyone parent dreads the giving their kids the talk, because it could make you look disgusting or traumatize them. Now I have to give the talk to a group of ramdom kids, so now I'll eithergross them out and traumatize them, or I could say something wrong. Or worse, I could accidentally make somekind of double entendre or talk about my past experience. Then I'd look like a pervert, and then rumors would spread, and not only would Vanessa be called the "daughter of the pervert"-"

"Instead of being called the "Daughter of the crazy science teacher"." Norm added.

"-but I could get fired. People would think I'm a threat and-and I'd be fired because the staff might think I'd do something to a student, everyone would think I'm a sicko, and my life would be ruined." Dr. Doofenshmirtz explained as he collapsed in his chair.

"Again?" Norm asked, remembering the embarassing video of him on rollerskates, the video of him saving a kitten, the failed Yodel-inator, and many others.

"Yes, but this time it won't ruin me with embarassment. I'll be hated by everyone for all the wrong reasons. Then I'd never get a date, Charlene could try to take Vanessa away-"

"Aren't you overreacting?"

"NO I AM NOT!" yelled Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he slammed his fist on his desk, spilling his coffee.

"I'll get some napkins."

"Norm I'm having a crisis here, how can you not care about what situation?"

"Apathy, sir. I don't find it interesting."

"Wait a minute, that's it! If I can get my class to not care about the lecture, then they won't bother judging me."

"Don't they already do that?"

"Yes, that could work. I could make an inator to make them not care. I'm a genius." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said while ignoring Norm. He ran to the backroom and started to build an inator.

"I guess just getting a video explaining the lesson is too easy." said Norm.

End of Ch. 1

Uh-oh, this should get interesting. Thanks to all the fans who voted for this episode. I'll try my best not to traumatize the kids reading this (if there are any). Please review, and for those who saw "Minor Monogram", what did you think? PS2wizard is out, Peace!