I don't own Phineas and Ferb.

Ch. 2: What Do Janitors Like Anyway?

It was recess and the boys needed to think of something to brighten up a cranky old janitor's birthday. They spotted the elderly custodian mopping the floors. The janitor's name was Hank Churnel, he had a green vest with an orange shirt underneath, jeans with a hole in one of the legs, aged gray hair, moderately fit, a little stubble on his face, and was about Dr. Doofenshmirtz's heght. The most noticable feature about him was that he was missing his left arm which kids would often gawk at. It made his job as a janitor harder, but he managed to suffice.

The boys approached the cranky custodian mopping the floor and Phineas said, "Morning Mr. Churnel."

Mr. Churnel saw the boys and groaned. "Oh, it's you two." he said. "So what project do you have for me to clean up after this time?"

The boys didn't take offense from the janitor's rudeness since they knew he was like that with everyone. However, they didn't know that this janitor liked them the least. He didn't like kids mostly because they made so many messes and he had to clean them up, but Phineas and Ferb made most of the messes he cleaned after. Everytime they finished a project, he had to clean up the oil spills, loose parts laying around, and other debris left behind from their projects. It just meant more work for him and another reason to hate his job.

Phineas ignored the sarcasm and said "Actually, we wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday and-"

"Oh great, another annoying youngin' saying that, just like that principal. I thought I made it clear to her I don't like birthdays."

"Oh that's silly." Phineas said. "Birthdays are always great."

"Not mine. Everytime I have one, either I spend it alone or with people that just put on a fake smile and congratulate me on getting older. At least this way less people will annoy me and I won't get gifts I hate."

"But-"

"But nothing. The only thing I'd want for my birthday this year would to be left alone with me, myself, and I. Now get goin' before I start shaking my fist at you and growling at you angrily as you walk away from me." he warned.

The two took his advice and left, leaving him to resume mopping. Once they were far enough, Ferb said, "I suppose getting him a giftcard is out of the question."

"Yes, yes it is. But you heard the man. All he wants his he, himself, and him, so let's give it to him." said Phineas as the boys headed to Woodshop.

Doofenshmirtz High School Sci-ence Claaaaass!

BANG!

"I wonder what that could be?" wondered Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he opened his classroom door. He looked out into the hallway and only saw students walking by. He looked down and noticed a newspaper on the ground. He shrugge, picked it up, and brought it into the classroom.

"Score! I got another teacher's paper." he said as he began to read the title. " 'Platypus Times'? What a weird name for a-

WHACK!

As soon as Dr. Doofenshmirtz opened the paper, Perry leaped out and delivered an uppercut, sending him across the room. As he got up he asked "A Platypus?"

Perry turned the newspaper to the next page where his fedora was in.

"Newsy the Newspaper! I thought I recycled you a year ago." said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Perry rolled his eyes and didn't even want to know the backstory behind that. Perry put his fedora on which made Dr. Doofenshmirtz realize who it was.

"PERRY THE PLATYPUS! How do you know Newsy? Oh well it doesn't matter, let me show you what I'm doing today. Behold, the APATHY-INATOR!" he motioned towards a green inator that resembled a leafblower. Perry started to count down from 3 then 2 then 1-

"It all started back in Gimmelstump." Dr. Doofenshmirtz stated, as if on cue. "You see, unlike modern parenting, my parents wera bit more... straight forward on the "birds and the bees" speech. Let's just say it was very graphic that if I tried to flashback, I bet we'd get censored. Basically, it traumatized me and basically it took weeks for me to calm myself. Of course, by then I had discovered that parents had made me a lawn gnome, which I now you're familiar with."

Perry was a little nervous and gelt a little awkward being told this by his nemesis. He was tempted to leave, but he still had to stop him.

"Yeah and let's just say the ocelots showed me better than my parents. The point is when Vanessa was born, I made a vow that when I gave her "the talk", it would not traumatize her like it did me. The only problem, I have to tell her via sex ed because I put it off for so long. Now I have to explain where babies come from without embarassing Vanessa or myself and not looking like a pervert. So that's why I built the Apathy-inator." he explained.

So far the Apathy-inator seemed harm-less for the most part. Perry was still suspicious about how it could be used for evil, but for the most part he was relieved that this was less awkward and wasn't getting creepier.

"So basically, as the name implies, I'm going to use the Apathy-inator to zap Vanessa and her classmates before the lesson. Once hit, they will automatically lose all interest in anything. A car could crash through the wall and they wouldn't care. While this happens, I'll give the lesson and they won't react to it in anyway, kinda like my other classes. Once I'm done, I'll just reverse the effects and throw away the inator." explained Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Perry was relieved to hear that for once Dr. Doofenshmirtz made something that wasn't evil. Perry could probably take the rest of the day off and not worry about a thing. He headed for the door as he smiled.

"Huh, well look at that. The one time I make an inator that isn't used for evil and Perry leaves it alone. He doesn't even care if I use it. Man it'd be nice if everyone was like. I could probably just take over the... Tri...State...Area." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said, slowing down near the end as he slowly had an idea. He smiled deviously at his inator, but before he could pick it up Perry walked in with his arms folded and an annoyed look on his face.

"Oh. You heard that? Ah heh heh, maybe I should have waited for you to leave. Oh well. Who cares? NOT YOU!" shouted Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he picked up the inator and blasted Perry. Perry was unprepared and caught off guard as the force of the blast sent me crashing against the wall.

"Whoops." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. He didn't realize how much force the Apathy-inator used and made a mental note to fix that. He then ran to his nemesis, hoping that he hadn't hurt him more than he wanted to. "Perry the Platypus, are you okay?"

Perry got up, looked at Dr. Doofenshmirtz and just shrugged. "You sure? Alright, then let the fight continue."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz raised his fists but Perry just stood there like he was bored out of his mind not doing anything. After a few seconds Dr. Doofenshmirtz noticed something was wrong. "Perry the Platypus, why aren't you fighting me? Don't you want to stop me?"

Perry shrugged as he just blinked unemotionally at the evil scientist.

"Wait a second, you don't care. The Apathy-inator made you not care about anything. Even stopping me. This is perfect. I can make you do anything I want. Perry the Platypus, I command you to get me a soda from the vending machine. Here's some quarters just in case you don't have enough." he said handing Perry some quarters. "I'd give you a dollar but those things usually give you your dollar back and it gets annoying after awhile."

Perry just walked to one of the desks and sat down with his feet up on the desk. He grabbed a quarter and started flipping and catching it.

"Wow that is so cool. Disappointing that I just lost $1.25 in loose change, but at least now I know when you don't care about anything, you don't care about anything. Whether it be making up your mind or doing something."

In Woodshop, Phineas and Ferb were standing in front of a 7 foot wooden log that was bigger than both of the boys.

"Look at her Ferb, ain't she a beaut?" Phineas asked. Ferb responded with a wolf whistle as they admired it's beauty.

"Well, time to get to work." Phineas said as he and Ferb grabbed their chainsaws. Phineas was about to pull the tab when he stopped "Wait a minute, what are we thinking?" Phineas asked as they put the chainsaw down. "This is incredibly dangerous. We should know better by now." The two boys walked away from the log.

They returned fifteen seconds with safety goggles and picked up their chainsaws. "Safety first. Let 'er rip!" shouted Phineas.

The two started the chainsaws and went to work. Little did they know Candace was watching from the hallway.

"Chainsaws? CHAINSAWS? Oh this two are soooooooooooo busted! Mom is going to flip." Candace said as she went to find her Mom.

End of Ch. 2

Sorry this was so short, I think I'm getting senioritis and it's affecting my work. Plus, I've been thinking non-stop of blot bunnies for I story I have called Heroes of Light. It's a huge cartoon crossover I've been thinking about that I want to do. The summary for it is on my profile and BTW, it does include Phineas and Ferb. I'm thinking that during the summer and I might work on it along with this.

Also, to celebi4ever, I thought about what you said about Monty being in Vanessa's class, and you did give me an idea for an episode. I'll let you know when, but anyway please review, sorry if this episode grosses some of you out, and tell me if you think I should work on Heroes of Light. I have written a trailer-like preview.