Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth
Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.
THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.
Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters
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HUMAN THREAT REPORT #1
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)
TEST SUBJECTS – 287 & Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland), 283 Matthew Williams (A.K.A. Canada), & 290 Ivan Braginski (A.K.A. Russia)
Here is a list of threats I have found on planet earth.
THREAT #1 - TEST SUBJECT 287 (ARTHUR KIRKLAND)'S EYEBROWS Test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) appears to have dangerous eyebrows (spot of hair above the eye on human). Compared to most humans, test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) has eyebrows that are irregularly large. I have deemed these threats. I proceed with caution on performing tests. Earlier, as listed in my report "BEHAVIOUR REPORT #2" test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) yelled at me. During this time eyebrows moved much. I was afraid of an attack during this time. I plan to do tests during test subject 287's (Arthur Kirkland's) sleeping period. As of now I am listing this as a third-class threat in my log book.
THREAT #2 - TEST SUBJECT 283 (MATTHEW WILLIAMS)'S INVISIBILITY MUTATION Test subject 284 (Matthew Williams) has invisibility mutation. Listed components of test subject in earlier report "COMPOSURE REPORT". Test subject can become invisible, a trait found in very few organisms throughout the universe. Listing this as a first-class threat in logbook.
THREAT #3 - TEST SUBJECT 290 (IVAN BRAGINSKI)'S WEAPON. Test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) has a weapon of choice called a "water pipe, da?" This is made of iron (metal found on earth). I have seen him kill and wound others brutally with this. Interestingly enough, weapon's power is amplified when test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) drinks a liquid called "Vodka, da?" I have obtained some of this "vodka, da?" and have sent some using a teleported to nearby space ship. Contact Agent Steve to obtain some "vodka, da?" Listing water pipe as a second-class threat, first-class when infused with vodka.
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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.
We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
Please review. We kind of need to know if you like what you're reading. Even if it is just a 2 word review.
~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~