I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Hope you're ready for some tunes, because there is a song in here. I tried to make it as original as possible but I realized that the chorus might sound a little like the chorus to the song "Taking on the Big Brain".

Ch. 2: My Dinner with Monty (and Candace and Jeremy)

"You can do this Monty. You're a secret agent and member of OWCA, you will succeed." Monty told himself.

Despite the pep talk he was giving himself, Monty Monogram was still nervous and beginning to have cold feet. He had run the plan through his head dozens of times and was sure that it wouldn't fail but there was still some doubt in the back of his mind. He could feel his heart race as he prepared for his most intense mission ever.

The double date.

As simple as it sounded, there was much more on the line than embarrassing himself, although that was something Monty feared. He and Vanessa planned to go on a double date not only to meet Candace and Jeremy and get to know them, but also so Vanessa could retrieve his performance evaluation sheet from Vanessa's Dad's apartment without Major Monogram or Dr. Doofenshmirtz discovering that Monty and Vanessa secretly met with each other or that he forgot his form.

The only problem Monty had was that he had never gone on a date before. He never even kissed a girl before. It wasn't that Monty had never wanted to ask a girl out before but at the High School without a Cool Acronym, no one had time for leisure and was taught to be trained, courteous secret agents focused on work like Agent Double-O 0. At times the other students were like mindless drones because unlike his father, the other students' parents wanted them to be skilled secret agents.

So the concept of a date was new to Monty and while he was trained to go undercover in casinos or restaurants to converse with the enemy into getting information and acting suave and fancy, doing it for real was a completely different situation.

He sighed realizing that it was now or never and left his room and grabbed the keys to his parents' car. Luckily for him, he had his driver's license and told his dad he was going on a double date. He left out it was with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and his father seemed to be okay with it, although Monty could tell that his dad was more than thrilled to see his son growing up. Monty headed to the car because he had a feeling his Dad would start taking pictures of his son all dressed up.

Apparently, seconds after Monty drove off, his father had a camera and was wearing a green robe since he wasn't at work and was looking for his son. "Monty? Hello? I got the camera. Did he leave already?"

Major Monogram checked the living room and saw his son's cell phone on the couch and picked up. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. "Oh, that must be him coming to get his phone." The major chuckled. He opened the door and was about to hand the phone to what he thought was his son, but was surprised it was someone he didn't expect.

"Hello Francis." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said bitterly.

Major Monogram furrowed his brow in annoyance and replied, "Doofenshmirtz, what do you want?"

"Oh not much. Out of curiosity, do you know where your son is?"

"That's none of your concern."

"On the contrary; it's all my concern. Let me guess, he's on a double date?"

Francis raised part of his monobrow in suspicion and asked, "Yes, how did you know?"

"Because I overheard my daughter mentioning that she was going on a double date tonight as well."

"Well good for her."

Heinz frowned in annoyance and said, "Let me say that again. My daughter is going on a double date the same night as your son at the same time at the same restaurant."

"So?"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz wanted to face palm himself so much. Instead he responded, "Oh for Pete's sake, our children our going on the same double date. My daughter and your son as one couple, and two other kids as the second couple, understand?"

Major Monogram gasped in shock before responding, "You're insane Heinz. My son would never go on a date with your daughter. I doubt they would even talk to each other."

Suddenly, Monty's phone rang and Francis decided to answer. "Hello?"

"Is this enough proof for you?" Heinz's voice asked.

Major Monogram nearly dropped his son's phone in shock. He saw the caller ID said 'Vanessa' and looked at Heinz holding his daughter's Vanessa's cell phone to his ear.

"Dun dun duuuuun." Sang Heinz.

Francis' face was filled with shock and horror. He turned to the evil scientist and said, "Tell me everything you know."

*Rock music begins to play*

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house, Candace was getting for ready.

Candace: Brush your hair; make it flare, so nice and neat.

I'll show the world I'm the girl, that can't be beat

I will shine 'cause I look fine; I'm a real treat

I'll do whatever to make myself look a part of the elite.

At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Vanessa is also getting ready as well.

Vanessa: Have the clothes that will show that I am divine.

Cover up with some make-up before I dine.

Not a copy, or parody, this look is mine

And it's sweeter than any wine.

Vanessa and Candace: You can't look like trash

Or like you were in a crash.

This ain't an anniversary or birthday bash.

It's Date Niiiight!

(Date Night!)

It's the night for girls and guys!

(Date Night!)

Don't try to weasel out, we'll see through your lies.

(Date Night!)

This isn't for people that you despise

(Date Night!)

The perfect couples' night

Where everything is just right

Go see a movie or grab a biiiiite

On Date Night!

The girls finish getting ready and head out while their dates are on their way to meet them at the restaurant.

Jeremy: Be on time, free of grime, looking my best.

Don't sweat it, or you'll regret it, I'll put more fears to rest.

Body Odor, is in order, I passed the cleanliness test

But this is just the first part of my night's quest.

Monty: I'm almost there, how's my hair? Why can't I focus man!

Hope I'm not late, for this date, I have to stick to the plan.

What if I fail, that's worse than jail, wait a sec of course I can.

Why should I worry I'm a secret agent man.

Jeremy and Monty: We can't look like a mess

Tonight must be a success

Don't forget to compliment her dress

On Date Night!

(Date Night)

Possibly, our toughest mission.

(Date Night)

You have to make a good impression.

(Date Night)

A night full of tension.

(Date Night)

You better watch your back.

Make up for whatever you lack.

The pressure might make you crack

On Date Night!

Dr. Doofenshmirtz has finished telling Major Monogram everything he knows and the Major is completely overwhelmed while Heinz is tapping his foot to the song's rhythm.

"What am I going to do? I can't forbid Monty, or else he'll resent me for the rest of his life. Not to mention that kids never listen to their parents so forbidding him won't work. But if I don't stop him, he might become corrupted and turn evil. Not to mention that even thinking of you as an in-law makes me sick."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Finally, you now see, that we're in trouble.

This must stop, we have to pop, their little bubble.

To stop the romance, let's form an alliance, so our power is doubled.

Soon Date Night will be reduced to rubble.

"Wait, you mean you want to work together to ruin our children's date in hopes that they will break up? Hmmm, it's crazy but if we don't stop them tonight, they might fall in love and one day we'd be related! Okay Doofenshmirtz, but knock off the singing." Major Monogram agreed.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: YES! So let's shove, away their love, and make it feel our sting.

Thought I won't cease, this is my release, and kind of my thing.

Before we go, stop their show, you need to something.

At least do a little singing.

Major Monogram: …..

….

….

We must ruin this date.

Before it's too late.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: We're taming up 'cause of our mutual hate

Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram: On Date Night!

(Date Night)

Consider their courtship doomed.

(Date Night)

Before they think about becoming bride and groom.

(Date Night)

They'll never get the chance to be told 'Get a room'.

(Date Night)

Candace and Vanessa: You better be prepared.

Monty and Jeremy: Don't be nervous or scared.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram: This is the end of their affair.

All: On Date Night!

*End Music*

Candace was the first to arrive at the restaurant and was waiting for the others to arrive. Monty had suggested the restaurant and while it seemed too fancy at first, Candace and Jeremy agreed to it. Candace was wearing an elegant violet, one-piece dress with purple heels and took the time to get her eyelashes curled. Candace impatiently tapped her foot on the sidewalk as she waited for her friend and their dates. Candace was beginning to worry that she was at the wrong restaurant, but soon enough she heard the sound of a moped in the distance. It stopped in front of Candace and driver removed their helmet.

"Hey Candace nice dress." Said Vanessa.

Candace was actually impressed to see Vanessa's attire. The Goth was sporting a satin, raven black dress with black heels.

"Yeah, you too." Candace replied. "So where's Monty?"

"We rode separately. I had to take my dad's stupid moped because I don't have my license yet." She replied. "What about Jeremy?"

Beep Beep!

"There he is." Candace said excitingly.

Jeremy parked his car right next to the valet station and gave one of the two valets his car keys. Candace began staring dreamily at Jeremy as he approached them with a green vest over a white shirt with brown pants and a blue tie. Vanessa had to close Candace's mouth before Jeremy saw her ogling him with her mouth open.

"Hey Candace; You look really nice." Jeremy commented. Candace couldn't resist letting out a giggle as she tried to hide her blushing face. "You look great too Vanessa. So where's your date?"

"Oh he'll be here in a few seconds." Vanessa said.

"Great. I'll go check to see if our table is ready." Jeremy said as he went into the restaurant. Candace just sighed happily as Vanessa just rolled her eyes.

"Wow. That was so cliché." Vanessa told Candace.

"What? So I think my boyfriend is cute, what's wrong with that?" Candace asked.

"Oh come on, you were drooling like a Labrador."

"I'd bet you would do the same with Monty."

"No I wouldn't. I can restrain myself and remain composed, calm, and-"

"Vanessa?" said someone behind her.

"Hold that thought." Vanessa told Candace. "What is it?"

Vanessa froze when she saw that Monty was behind her. Monty was wearing instead of his attire with a stylish tuxedo. Vanessa wasn't startled, if anything she was stunned by how amazing Monty looked and to her it felt like she was seeing a different side of him that she couldn't stop staring at.

"M-Monty, you look….amazing." Vanessa stammered.

Monty felt the same about Vanessa and managed to stutter, "Yeah, you look stunning."

Candace grinned seeing the romance brewing and decided to get them inside. "Okay you two, let's go see if our table is ready."

Candace managed to break the two from their little trance as they both blushed in embarrassment about what just happened. The three entered the restaurant and found that their table was ready. They sat at a round table with Candace sitting close to Jeremy and Vanessa near Monty.

"Hey Monty, nice job picking the restaurant." Said Jeremy.

"Thanks, but Vanessa was the one who told me about this place." Said Monty.

"Yeah well, let's just I've heard good things about this place." Vanessa replied.

"Like what?" Jeremy asked.

Vanessa hesitated because she didn't want to tell them why she actually chose the restaurant. However before she could come up with an excuse, their waiter arrived.

"Grgrgrgrgrgrglrgl."

Vanessa and Monty were startled to see the waiter, who was very short, had a small black toupee on his head, and he looked more like a butler than a waiter. Of course, that wasn't what surprised them.

"Oh good, you must be our waiter." Jeremy assumed. "Candace what do you want to drink?"

"Huh? Oh I guess an iced tea." She replied.

"Great, I'll have a root beer and what do you guys want?"

The two were still a little stunned and replied simultaneously, "Water."

The short waiter wrote it down and headed to the kitchen. Vanessa and Monty didn't know whether to be worried that they knew the waiter or to burst into laughter because Candace and Jeremy didn't notice that their waiter had teal fur, webbed feet, a beaver tail, and a duck bill.

For the moment, Vanessa was just relieved that she didn't have to tell everyone that she chose this place because her father had been banned from the restaurant after one of his dates went horribly wrong. She thought it would the best place for them to go without having to worry about her Dad.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

Once the waiter had arrived in the kitchen, he met with the master chef, Ferb Fletcher. He read what Perry wrote down, which was the order and the phrase 'No sign of Doofenshmirtz yet'. Ferb turned on his ear piece and proceeded to tell Phineas what Perry gave him while Buford and Baljeet were working as busboys.

Phineas and Isabella were at a booth ready for Ferb to give them any information. The Phineas Ferb and everyone were there because they wanted to make sure Dr. Doofenshmirtz didn't ruin their sister's double date. Perry was going to spy on the double date, Ferb was going undercover as a Chef, which he had no problem acquiring the job since all he did was bring in a sample of his food and he was hired on the spot, Phineas and Isabella were going to keep an eye out for Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Buford and Baljeet were going to do whatever it took to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Phineas got received Ferb's message without noticing that Isabella was enjoying their time alone and treating the situation like a real date. "Whoa whoa, slow down Ferb. You're talking too fast. Uh-huh. Okay thanks bro." He faced Isabella and said, "So far everything is going according to plan perfectly."

Isabella just sighed dreamily and said, "Yes, perfect."

That's when the most unusual couple walked in.

"Excuse me, do you have a table for two open?" asked the 'woman'.

"Why yes, yes we do- aAH!" yelped the maître d. "Forgive me uh madam, but you remind me of someone who banned from the restaurant."

"Can we please be seated?" asked 'her' date who seemed miserable.

"Uh right this way."

The miserable man, or as he's commonly known as Major Monogram was beginning to regret ever working with Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Not only did he feel guilty for spying on his son, but also because Dr. Doofenshmirtz was disguised as a woman, or at least he was trying. While Major Monogram was just in a fancy suit, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was wearing a white-dress, heels, a large amount of make-up, and a cheap wig while carrying a purse. Francis was beginning to wonder if it was too late to go home.

Once at they were seated at a booth, Major Monogram tried to hide his face in the menu. "See, I told you my disguise would work." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"I didn't say your disguise wouldn't work, although to be honest it doesn't work, I said 'Why are you wearing a dress in the first place?'." Major Monogram asked.

"Well let's just say I'm not welcome here anymore. Besides, you didn't want to wear the dress."

"You never offered it. You went to your apartment, put it on, and told me to follow the tracking device in your daughter's earrings. "

"Because I knew you wouldn't wear it."

"Why do you even own a white dress?"

"I don't have to answer that. Anyway, I think I see our kids over there." Pointed Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Major Monogram saw where the deranged doctor pointed and saw his son sitting with three other teenagers as their waiter delivered their drinks. While he had to admit that it seemed like his son was having a nice time, he couldn't allow him to date the daughter of a man who wore a white dress like it was no big deal.

"Alright, there they are. Now what?" Major Monogram asked.

"Now this, behold the Fly-in-the-Soup-inator," proclaimed Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he pulled a tiny gun from his purse.

"Oh that's what the purse was for." Realized Major Monogram.

"It's a satchel. Anyway, when those kids get their soup, my inator will launch a tiny robotic fly into their soup and when the key word is spoken, it will create a huge mess."

"What's the key word?"

"A word that they will not be able to resist saying upon seeing the fly: Ewwww."

"Ewww?"

"Yeah, I mean who wouldn't say that when they see a fly in their soup. Come to think of it why would a fly be in your soup in the first place? I mean I know it probably drown in the soup but why wouldn't it go for the fish or a roast beef? At least the fly would live."

"Ahem." Coughed their waiter. "Would you two like to start with the soup or salad?"

"Salad." Major Monogram said.

"Super salad." Dr. Doofenshmirtz replied.

"Excuse me?" the waiter asked.

"What? You asked me if I wanted the super salad."

"No, the soup or salad. Like would you want salad or soup."

"Oh. Then I'll have the soup, and don't be skimpy on the little crackers!"

The awkward duo didn't know that Perry was listening in on the conversation using his communicator watch to call Major Monogram without his superior being aware of it. Minute later, when the waiter brought the entrées out on a cart, Dr. Doofenshmirtz aimed the Fly-in-the-Soup-inator at one of the bowls of soup.

"Get ready for a fly bowl." Joked Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he fired a tiny robotic fly into one of the soups. It landed right in the center while barely making a sound. Dr. Doofenshmirtz chuckled while Major Monogram just gave him glare as if he were saying 'Really?' about the joke. Dr. Doofenshmirtz waited expectantly for the one of them to notice the fly.

"That's right any second their night will be ruined." Muttered Dr. Doofenshmirtz. However there was one thing Dr. Doofenshmirtz had not counted on.

None of them ordered the soup. Instead, they were all having a nutritious salad and having a nice conversation. "What? I was sure they ordered the soup," Grumbled Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Can't you just shoot one of those flies into their salad?" Major Monogram.

"What? Are you crazy? They'd never notice it in time and might eat it, and that would not end well."

"Your entrees," Said the waiter as he gave the two their entrees. Major Monogram wasn't surprised that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's scheme failed, it wasn't the first time. He was worried about the people who did get the soup with the fly in it.

Heinz was about to enjoy a spoonful of the soup when he said, "Ewwww! There's a fly in my-"

SPLASH!

The fly detonated and the small explosion that doused the two in Dr. Doofenshmirtz's soup. "You just had to order the soup," Groaned Major Monogram.

"What did you expect? Those salads are so small compared to the soup. Besides, what are you complaining about my dress is ruined."

They tried to clean themselves up but didn't have enough napkins so they had to clean themselves in the bathroom. Phineas and Isabella couldn't help but chuckle at the mess they helped make. When Perry alerted Ferb of the Fly-in-the-soup-inator, Buford drank most of the soup so that there wouldn't be any ready for Candace, Jeremy, Vanessa, and Monty and the four would be forced to order salad, and then Phineas switched the soups onto the cart heading to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's table.

Candace was nearly done with her entrée when she tensed up and a shiver went down her spine. Jeremy could tell what it was but Vanessa had no clue what it was.

"Candace, you okay?" Vanessa asked.

"No, my busting senses are tingling." Candace replied. "Phineas and Ferb are up to something."

"I'm sure it's nothing big. Besides, your parents are home so they probably know about it." Jeremy stated.

"I don't know. I have strange feeling their close."

"Who are Phineas and Ferb?" Monty asked.

The three stopped and looked at him to see if he was joking but apparently he wasn't. Candace said, "Phineas and Ferb are my brothers who always get away with crazy, unbelievable stuff every day."

"Aren't all little brothers like that?" Monty asked.

"You clearly haven't seen their work over the summer."

"Well during the summer I was finishing high school. My Dad enrolled me at a place where you just take two years, but sophomore and senior year are during the summer and just graduated this summer." Monty explained.

"Cool. So you're done with school already?" Jeremy asked.

"Yeah, but I think I'm going to wait and see if I'll go to college or not. I already have a job, but it doesn't hurt to get some more knowledge. Anyway, what kind of 'work' do your brothers do?"

Vanessa mentally face palmed herself because she had a feeling that this was going to go on for a long time. "Let's see they built a roller coaster, one regular and one a musical, giant tree house fighting robots, a beach in the backyard, S'Winter and S'Fall, Traveled through time…..

Thirty Minutes Later…

"…went to outer space four times, and I'd continue but I don't think we have enough time." Candace ended.

"Wow. I'm surprised I didn't notice that." Monty said in shock.

By now they were halfway through their main course and Major Monogram was still waiting for Dr. Doofenshmirtz to reapply his make-up (he was determined to stay in character). So far the double date was a success as the four swapped stories, got to know each other better, and even managed to get a waiter to take a picture of them. As for Phineas and Ferb, they were glad to see their sister having a good time while Isabella was having a good time being with Phineas. When Dr. Doofenshmirtz returned his dress was now a pale red from the soup and he was wiping his hands on a paper towel that he used to wipe the running make-up.

"By the way, I ordered for you." Major Monogram replied.

"Salmon? I wanted the Tri-tip." Complained Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Just tell me that you have a plan B."

"…..Actually I do." He pulled another small inator. "I present to you, the Weird-Secret-Blurt-Out-Inator! One shot with this, and they will reveal an embarrassing secret out loud. Our children will be disgusted or creeped out by each other they will have to break up."

"Won't they embarrass themselves in front the other couple?" Major Monogram asked.

"Sheesh, aren't you a doubtful Dennis. Anyway, fire in the hole."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz fired a shot at the unsuspecting teens, but Perry overheard them again and rushed over to them with their bill on a metal tray. He managed to reach them in time to deflect the shot back at his boss and nemesis.

ZZZZZZAP!

"Carl already has enough credits as an intern. I don't tell him because I see him as my son and I don't want him to leave." Major Monogram revealed.

"I bought this dress so that I can reenact my bad dates and pretend to be my ex-girlfriends so that I can try to figure out why my dates fail." Dr. Doofenshmirtz admitted.

The two covered their mouths and hung their heads in shame. Heinz threw the inator on the ground and began to stomp on it before it did any more damage. "I won't speak of this if you don't." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said.

"Deal." Major Monogram replied.

This time, Vanessa tensed and felt a shiver down her spine. This could mean one thing. Her 'Dad-is-doing-something-to-embarrass-me' sense was tingling. Given that Perry the Platypus was here, it made sense that her father wasn't far. She thought it would be best if they left before her Dad did something.

"Hey guys, you know what would be interesting? Why don't we head to the park? I hear its really romantic at night." She insisted.

"A moon-light stroll through the park? Hey that does sound pretty nice." Candace said. "I'll just call my Mom and tell her I'm going to be home a few minutes late."

"Me too. Sometimes my little sister Suzy gets worried when I'm gone too long." Jeremy told them. As the two left, Vanessa leaned over and whispered to Monty, "Listen, I think my Dad might be nearby."

Monty asked, "Are you sure?"

"Positive. Let's head to the park and I'll hand you your form while Candace and Jeremy aren't looking."

Monty was about to ask why she couldn't just hand him the form now, but then again he didn't mind going for a romantic walk with Vanessa. "Okay." He simply answered.

As the teens got up, Candace's brothers and friends were on the move following them. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was looking over the desserts when he saw his daughter leaving. "Hey they're getting away!"

"Oh what difference does it make? We failed." Major Monogram.

"Oh no, I refuse to have grandchildren with monobrows," Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he followed the kids. Francis was beginning to think that it would have been less embarrassing if he wore the dress.

"Your bill." The waiter responded. Major Monogram took the bill and was surprised to see how cheap it was. "Excuse, but are you this is correct. I'm sure my food cost more than this." Major Monogram inquired.

"It was, but after watching your horrible date, the entire staff agreed that you needed a break." Explained the waiter.

"…Thank you." Thanked Major Monogram, who understood what the waiter meant.

End of Ch. 2

Dinner may be done, but the night isn't over. Find out in the next chapter to see how the rest of the date will turn out.

Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while. My computer got a virus and from the beginning to the end of October, I've been fixing my computer and I got it fixed about a week or two ago. The first week I spent updating Heroes of Light, and this week I worked on this chapter. Anyway, please review this and my other story and stay tuned for the conclusion of this episode. PS2wizard is out, peace!