Agent Tony's Reports

by MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark

Here is a complete copy of agent Tony's reports on the humans Alfred F. Jones and Arthur Kirkland as well as those surrounding them such as Matthew Williams. UsUk. Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth. Hilarious interpritations. Matthew Williams is a first class threat. Rating changed for good reason.

16. Chapter 16

A/N: Here's a full report on Russia, as well as some side notes on those surrounding him! :D

Tony's Planet = Glabcon

Natalia = Belarus

Katyusha = Ukraine

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia, the characters, or anything else Hetalia related.

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BEHAVIOUR REPORT # 5
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)
TEST SUBJECT 290 (IVAN BRAGINSKI)

Testing subject 290 because of water pipe threat. Test subject is extremely violent. Keep distance away from test subject.

Test subject has 2 females that hang around him frequently- Test subject 293 (Katyusha Braginskaya) and test subject 294 (Natalia Arlovskaya). Subjects seem to have a dysfunctional relationship. Subject 294 (Natalia Arlovskaya) frequently insists for 290 (Ivan Braginski) to become her sexual partner, though the advances are rejected. 293 (Katyusha Bragingkaya) cries much more than humans should. Not sure if this is a family relationship in human terms or not.

Test subject has servants, a group called "The Baltic Trio". So far they have shown no threat, but have great fear for 290 (Ivan Braginski). This group includes three subjects - test subject 261 (Toris Laurinaitis), test subject 263 (Raivis Galante), and test subject 264 (Eduard von Bock). This groups abilities include, but is not limited to: "Dancing in tutus", "manservants", "personal punching bags", and "target practice".

Test subject spends much time stalking subject 270 (Yao Wang). Owns a panda suit for solely this purpose. Finds joy in breaking into subject 270's (Yao Wang's) house and eating his food. Subject 270 (Yao Wang) does not particularly like 290's (Ivan Braginksi's) advances, but puts up with them.

Test subject enjoys substance he calls "vodka, da?". Took samples of vodka and sent them to nearby spaceship. Contact Agent Steve to get samples of vodka. Substance amplifies subject's mood. If subject is on a killing spree, "vodka, da?" will amplify his strength. Add his weapon, a water pipe, into the equation and test subject 290 becomes a first-class threat. However, it seems that when 290 (Ivan Braginski) is happy, vodka will make him happier; on one test he went around giving sunflowers (plant from 1285( Earth)) to other humans.

Test subject has a peculiar item he always wears around his neck. Item is white in color and long in length. Seems to be made of material "cotton". I tried to take item for testing. This ended with test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) erupting in the sound "KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL" and trying to attack me with water pipe. I abandoned the mission immediately to avoid the threat.

Will provide reports on subjects 293 (Katusha Braginskaya), 294 (Natalia Arlovskaya), 261 (Toris Laurinaitis), 263 (Ravis Galante), 264 (Eduard von Bock), and 270 (Yao Wang) as soon as time allows.

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A/N: Kolkolkolkol. Don't try to steal Russia's scarf. Just don't.

Anyways, thanks for reading! We love all of you! XD

Keep the reviews up! I'm simply adoring your ideas!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~