Agent Tony's Reports

by MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark

Here is a complete copy of agent Tony's reports on the humans Alfred F. Jones and Arthur Kirkland as well as those surrounding them such as Matthew Williams. UsUk. Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth. Hilarious interpritations. Matthew Williams is a first class threat. Rating changed for good reason.

17. Chapter 17

A/N: France needed a chapter to himself. Becuase he is France. XD

Glabcon = Tony's Planet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia! :D

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BEHAVIOUR REPORT #6
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)
TEST SUBJECT 269 (FRANCIS BONNEFOY)

Tests taken on subject 269. Subject is very unusual. Sexual intercourse is performed frequently with men, women, multiple people, inanimate objects, and so forth. Concerned for subject's safety and well-being.

Subject is a renowned cook. Cooking skills considered godly to some. Tests taken on food - this proves to be true. Most of his dishes are French (culture of region "France" on Earth).

Subject is one of the three to make up the group "Bad Touch trio". This means the following attributes are available to him: "Ability to seduce women", "Ability to seduce men", "Crush Roderich team", "epic threesome", "sexy models", and more.

Subject is, according to the majority of humans, "sexy". I have decided that this word comes from the root word of sex, so this must mean the subject is very sexual. The only human that seems to disregard subject 269's sexy attribute is test subject 284 (Arthur Kirkland).

Test subject has a special liking to the liquid "wine". Drinks this uncontrollably; even during wartimes. Test subject will not die from wine, or pass out- he is like test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) with beer.

Test subject is in sexual relationship with 1st class treat and test subject 283 (Matthew Williams)

Test subject also has a special liking to the flower rose, a flower found only on planet earth. For some reason, a rose will amplify test subject's sexual sexy-ness. Reason for this is unknown.

Test subject is known to release the sound "HONHONHONHONHON" at certain times. This generally happens right before sexual intercourse, when sexually advancing on another human, or when talking about something "stylish" or "fancy".

Will perform tests on why plant flower "rose" amplifies attribute "sexy'.

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A/N: France: OHHONHON~ Look at all of ze sexy readers!

Magic (Me): *shoos France away* Well there you guys go! Stay tuned for more hilarity.

Remember to review if you have any suggestions you want to see. Also, we love feedback. If your confused about anything, or see some sort of error let us know! :D

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~