Story 5

Ikkaku and Yumichika

It only happened once in their friendship. About a year after they met, Yumichika approached a sleeping Ikkaku and sat down beside him.

"Ikkaku," he said.

Ikkaku yawned, without opening his eyes. "Hm?"

"I have a favor."

"Yeah? What?"

As he spoke, Yumichika leaned slowly over Ikkaku's prone body. He said softly, "Don't hate me." And then he touched Ikkaku's lips to his own.

Ikkaku's eyes flew open with a startled noise, but he did not stop him. Yumichika slowly drew away, carefully gauging Ikkaku's expression. Ikkaku looked surprised for a moment, and then he groaned and rubbed his mouth. "What's wrong with you? What a bad joke." Then he rolled over, and went back to sleep.

That moment broke Yumichika's heart. But it was also the day when he decided it didn't matter whether Ikkaku loved him or not. He just wanted to be near him. From then on, that was exactly what he strived to do.

Some time after the war with Aizen, Yumichika was still getting over the bad scare he'd had when Ikkaku had been losing to that fracion of Barragan's. He'd been thinking hard about a way to stop that from happening again. And though he knew it had a low likelihood of succeeding, he chose the direct approach.

As they lazed around in the 11th division barracks one afternoon, Ikkaku napping and Yumichika watching the clouds, he decided now was as good a time as any.

"Ikkaku," he said, trying not to let it show in his voice how nervous he was.

"Hm?"

He swallowed. "Don't you think...it's time to give it up?"

Ikkaku opened one eye to glare at him. "Give what up?" he asked, though Yumichika could already tell he knew full well what he was talking about.

Yumichika flicked his hair and smirked, casually. "All the captain's positions are filled. There's no danger of you being promoted," he added, chuckling. Then he looked at Ikkaku more seriously. "That, and almost everyone knows anyway."

Ikkaku sat up on his elbows, suddenly angry. "What 'everyone'?! Only Komamura knows, out of the captains, and he said-"

"Are you forgetting?" Yumichika murmured, though his tone was enough to stop Ikkaku. He looked away. "Our captain isn't an idiot. I'm sure he's known about it from the start." He felt Ikkaku's shocked glare on him, but he continued anyway. "And if you include all the subordinates…but most importantly, don't think you can pull one over on the old man." Despite his inner turmoil, he smiled sardonically to Ikkaku. "Yamamoto Soutaichou probably knew you had a bankai before you knew it yourself. He's really the only one you had to worry about anyway."

Ikkaku glared at him. Eventually he scoffed and leaned back to go to sleep. "This isn't like you, Yumichika. You know why I don't want to use it. You're starting to get annoying."

"So the next time it happens, you're just going to die."

"Obviously. Why is this surprising to you now?"

Yumichika gritted his teeth. "I guess because I thought better of you. I didn't really think you were weak enough to die without a bankai, just for the sake of your pride."

Ikkaku flung himself up to a seated position. "That's rich, coming from you!"

Yumichika's heartbeat quickened, and fear struck him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Huh? What, so you think I'm stupid, too?"

Despite the seriousness of their conversation, Yumichika took a moment to consider.

"No, don't answer that! I'm not an idiot. I don't have to know what your shikai is to know that I've never seen it."

The bottom dropped in Yumichika's stomach. He stared at his best friend, utterly terrified by what he knew he was about to say.

"Your reiatsu is huge. There's no way your shikai looks like that. I can only think of one or two reasons why you would want to hide it, but…all I know is, whenever you're against someone really tough and you're somewhere I can't see you fight, you come back without a scratch on you. That doesn't happen with melee-type weapons like mine and the rest of the division's. I wasn't going to say anything…" he said, scratching his head with a sigh. "…because I didn't want to hurt your pride. But you brought it up, so deal with it!"

Yumichika sat there, trembling down to the soles of his feet. The one thing he never wanted Ikkaku to know…he had already known about for a while. In light of his emotional state at the time, he couldn't cope with this. Without a word, he got up and left. He thought he heard Ikkaku call his name once, but he didn't follow him.

Yumichika felt tears running down his face as he used his shunpo to go somewhere no one could see him. All the years he'd spent learning to be able to fight alongside Ikkaku without using his real power, and to be near him without revealing how he felt…it had all been for nothing.

Yumichika thought for a long time about what would happen now. The worst case scenario was that he'd be placed in another division, where he would be forced to use his real shikai. If Ikkaku ever saw that…he was sure to despise him from the bottom of his heart. Yumichika's shikai was everything that Ikkaku found disgusting and cowardly. Not only a kidou-type weapon, but one that simply steals reiatsu without ever having to fight fairly. Yumichika couldn't bear the thought of that Ikkaku seeing that.

He still wasn't sure what the right course was, but he knew that he couldn't hide his feelings from Ikkaku anymore, knowing that Ikkaku knew about his shikai. So, assuming that his getting transferred was a certainty now anyway, he planned to do something a bit stupid.

That evening, he came up behind Ikkaku as he was heading to his room for the night, and hit him on the back of the head with a hakufuku he stole from the 4th division. Yes, he did feel bad about this, but he had decided: he would have the one night he always dreamt about with Ikkaku, and then he would give him up forever. Or, more likely, be murdered by him in the morning.

When Ikkaku woke, he felt woozy. He was on a bed, his hands were in an odd position, and his wrists and ankles felt sore. The last thing he remembered, he had been heading to his room for the night.

"Ugh," he grunted, blinking. "What the hell…"

"Don't worry, it's only me." It was Yumichika's voice.

He glanced around; he was indeed in his own room, on his own bed. Yumichika stood nearby taking off his collar for some reason. The weirdest thing was that Ikkaku's hands and feet were tied to the bed, and he didn't begin to have an explanation for that, but more importantly…

"Hey…Yumichika…" he said, softly. "I said too much earlier, I'm sorry. I know you're just concerned for me."

Yumichika briefly glanced up. He surveyed Ikkaku coldly for a moment. Then he said, "If you think flattery can get you out of this, you're mistaken."

"'Out of this'?" Ikkaku repeated. His attention was drawn back to the ties around his hands and feet. "Right…" he murmured. "Yeah, why am I tied up? Also…" he glanced down. "I seem to be naked." He had a bad feeling. "Yumichika…this isn't some kind of prank to get back at me for this afternoon, is it?"

Yumichika's gaze was fixed on the floor for a time. Ikkaku was surprised by the loneliness in his eyes. Then he said, "If you like to think of it that way, sure, it's a prank."

"What does that-…" Ikkaku stopped when Yumichika started getting undressed. He made a face of total confusion. "What do you think you're doing?"

Yumichika finished getting undressed and then sat down next to Ikkaku on the bed. He watched him impassively for a time. "Just for a short while. Try and bear with it."

Saying this, he clasped Ikkaku's face in his hand, and trapped his lips in a kiss. Ikkaku's eyes went wide. What the hell was he thinking?! It reminded him of a time back when they first met when Yumichika pulled something like this. Maybe this was his idea of punishment. Then Ikkaku felt a drop of hot liquid fall on his cheek. He blinked. As Yumichika drew away, he saw several tears fall down his cheeks. Yumichika said nothing.

Instead, he began laying down kisses on Ikkaku's neck and chest. Ikkaku gritted his teeth; in general he tried not to succumb to carnal desires, since he felt they weakened his swordsmanship. In other words, he was pretty pent up. It didn't take much to get his blood moving. Despite his complicated emotions at the time, his body seemed to be reacting in a very decided way.

Then there was the fact that he'd always known but never thought about: Yumichika was really attractive. He could be easily mistaken for a woman, especially when he had long hair like when they met. Although…his beauty was somewhat spoiled when he was wearing such a lonely face.

Yumichika moved away briefly and came back with a small bottle. He poured some of the contents into his hand, and to Ikkaku's disbelief, even as he continued kissing Ikkaku's body, with it he began to massage his own asshole.

Some lights were coming on in Ikkaku's head, but not quite fast enough to catch up to reality. "Oi, Yumichika…" he murmured, huskily. "I get the point, all right? Let's just stop for now, and we can talk."

Yumichika was starting to tremble and twitch from the movements of his own hand. But without taking his mouth off of Ikkaku's chest he mumbled, "Talk? It's all right. There's nothing to talk about any more."

Having said this, he flicked Ikkaku's nipple with his tongue. Ikkaku sucked in a quick breath; it had been so long since he'd had sex, he'd forgotten how much he liked things like that.

"I know you, Ikkaku," Yumichika murmured, glancing up at him. "I know you don't take care of your needs this way. So be quiet, and let me do it for you."

Now Ikkaku was really confused, but he was losing the will to fight him. Then Yumichika's mouth began licking a trail from Ikkaku's nipple to his belly-button, and from there it continued downward. Ikkaku's eyes widened.

"Yumichika…come on…you can't be serious…"

Yumichika glared up at him with sudden anger. "Think whatever you like. You talk way too much."

Then his lips met Ikkaku's cock.

"Ahh!" Ikkaku cried, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, straining against the ties around his wrists.

Ikkaku had only been half hard when Yumichika's mouth touched him. Now he felt himself hardening fully, and painfully, responding to the wet warmth of Yumichika's welcoming mouth. He couldn't stop his hips from twitching a bit. He hesitantly glanced down. Yumichika sucked on Ikkaku's dick like it was an ice cream cone. He had such a lascivious look on his face that it almost took Ikkaku's breath away. He had to close his eyes.

"Ahh…Yumichika…I'm going to…"

Suddenly, Yumichika's touch left him. He groaned, yearning for that last little bit to send him over the edge. He gasped for a time, trying to calm back down. "Oh dear," Yumichika murmured. "If you come that quickly, I'm not going to have any fun at all."

Ikkaku's head flicked up, staring at him. Before he could respond, Yumichika's slender body straddled his waist. Ikkaku looked on in amazement. He honestly hadn't even known that two men could have sex until right that second. And Yumichika seemed very keen to show him how.

Yumichika had a difficult expression on his face as he looked down at Ikkaku. So softly he didn't even hear him, he just saw his lips move, Yumichika said, "Sorry."

Then with one hand behind him, he held Ikkaku's cock in place and slid it slowly inside his hole. Yumichika's upper body shuddered, his lips parting with a gasp. He panted for a moment, then slid further down onto Ikkaku's cock, till he was sitting on his hips. Once Ikkaku was fully inside him, he let out a moan.

Ikkaku was biting back gasps, utterly overwhelmed by Yumichika's tightness. Ikkaku had never done anal before, man or woman, so he was completely unused to the sensation. He stared at Yumichika's sexy expression as he got used to Ikkaku's presence inside him. Ikkaku felt himself changing in a very irreversible way at that point.

After a few moments, Yumichika swallowed and placed his hands on Ikkaku's chest. Then, slowly, he began to move. Ikkaku groaned; it was an incredible sensation. Yumichika was so tight he had to fight cumming every second. Then something happened that made it even more difficult.

"I…kkaku…ik…kaku…" Yumichika was moaning so softly it was almost a whisper. He had his hands braced on Ikkaku's muscular chest as he rolled his hips forward and back, his eyes tightly shut as he panted and shuddered. "Ikkaku…"

Ikkaku blushed. He let this continue until he couldn't take it anymore. Then he thought to himself, fuck it. He thrust his hips up hard against Yumichika's.

"Ahh!" Yumichika cried, his eyes flying wide open. Ikkaku noticed his cock twitch in response to Ikkaku's move. Ikkaku smirked.

He thrust up again, hard. Yumichika cried out, his muscles growing weak with sensation as he collapsed on his elbows on top of Ikkaku's chest. He shuddered there, breathing hard, unable to move except to twitch his hips dazedly. So Ikkaku slammed into him again, driving more passionate moans from him. He continued to pound into him until he was at his limit of endurance.

"Ikkaku…!" Yumichika gasped. His head fell against Ikkaku's chest and Ikkaku was sure in that moment that he heard him mutter, "I love you…"

Ikkaku gritted his teeth, slammed his cock into Yumichika a few more times and then finally lost it. He let out a loud gasp as he flooded Yumichika's insides with cum. Yumichika twitched and gasped, amazed by the sensation. Then he sat up on Ikkaku's still-hard cock, moving it provocatively inside him as he yanked his own cock. In less than a minute, he cried out, and sprayed Ikkaku's chest with his cum. He sat there, twitching for a time, letting the last few waves of orgasm pass over him. Then, slowly, he lowered his head.

Without removing Ikkaku from inside him, Yumichika slowly leaned down to settle his weight on top of Ikkaku. "Just a little longer," he thought he heard him say. Ikkaku was silent for a time, confused but somehow sad for his friend, even though he was the one being taken advantage of. Then he heard the softest of sobs. He felt hot wetness on his shoulder. Yumichika was crying again. Ikkaku sighed, gazing up at his ceiling. What a troublesome guy, he thought to himself. Then, he easily broke free of the ties on one of his wrists - which honestly he could have done at any time, he just wanted to know what Yumichika was planning - and with it he wrapped his arm around a sobbing Yumichika as he cried himself to sleep.

The next morning, the two men awoke in the exact same posture. It was Ikkaku who woke first, yawning loudly. Then he winced. "Damn it. My hand fell asleep." He broke the other tie around his wrist and flexed it a few times.

It was then that Yumichika slowly awoke. He lifted himself off Ikkaku while seemingly half asleep, simply staring listlessly downward. Then his eyes widened as the events of the previous night came back to him. Not to mention the fact that he was laying on top of Ikkaku, and naked. His gaze flicked up to Ikkaku's.

"Hi," Ikkaku said, incredulously. "Does that look mean that you're going to give me an explanation at last?"

Yumichika's face filled with horror, and his eyes started tearing up again. Without a word, he whirled away and started putting on his clothes.

"W-…woah, hey!" Ikkaku shouted, reaching down to undo the ties on his ankles.

But it took him too long, and in moments, Yumichika was gone and out the door.

"Well, now what," Ikkaku grumbled.

For two days, Yumichika deftly avoided any situation where he and Ikkaku could talk privately. In public he was his normal self, still arrogant, sharp-tongued and image-obsessed. But finally Ikkaku had had enough, so he followed him to his room and shoved open the door just as Yumichika was trying to close it behind him.

Ikkaku stared at his friend, still holding the door open with one hand. Then he stepped inside and slammed it behind him. "Are you ready to talk now?" he growled.

Yumichika had a tortured look on his face, but he glanced down, apparently giving up. He sat down in the chair near his vanity, gazing down at his hands, like a little kid waiting to be punished.

Ikkaku sighed. He folded his arms. "Okay then. You have feelings for me, I get that now. What made you go that far? You couldn't possibly think that raping me was going to make me fall in love with you."

Yumichika trembled and was silent for a moment. Eventually he said, "Of course not. I meant that to be the end."

Ikkaku frowned. "The end?"

Yumichika's lonely gaze traveled far away for a moment. "Since you know about my zanpakutou, I knew it was just a matter of time before you saw it and hated me for real. So…since I was going to be hated anyway…I just decided to do it on my own terms."

Ikkaku gazed at him. "You mean…when you did that…"

Yumichika ran a hand through his hair, hiding his insecurity behind a smile. "I assumed you would talk to Zaraki Taichou and have me transferred out immediately. And then…probably never speak to me again. I'm still waiting for you to do that."

Ikkaku felt a twinge in his heart. In the back of his mind, he thought it might have been something like that, but he was stunned by Yumichika's devotion to him. He almost made it sound like there was no point in his being in the 13 divisions if he wasn't with Ikkaku. And maybe it was just his sex drive talking, but since that night, Ikkaku had had very tender feelings for Yumichika, even more than friendship. It would have been really difficult for him to truly hate him.

"So you couldn't think of any other outcome, huh?" he muttered.

Yumichika blinked and looked up at him.

Ikkaku sighed. "You're not wrong though. I gather you have a kidou-type zanpakuto, and I hate that. And that you're in love with me. I can't say I'm crazy about that idea either."

The life died out of Yumichika's eyes, but he merely smirked, casually. "Like I said," he murmured. "But if you're going to beat me up, I do ask that you spare my face."

Ikkaku scowled down at him. Then he nodded. "Okay." All of a sudden, he slammed his fist into Yumichika's solar plexus, and sent him hurtling across the room. Yumichika's head knocked against the wall as he lay gasping for breath, holding his chest.

"That's one debt paid," Ikkaku said.

With watering eyes, Yumichika squinted up at him. Ikkaku looked down at him with pity. Then he offered him a hand. Yumichika stared at it, unable to grasp for a few moments what it was for. Then he glanced up at Ikkaku again. Slowly, he took his hand, and let himself be helped up.

"That was for forcing me. Now we're square."

"Square?" Yumichika repeated, incredulously, with a strained voice.

"Now about your zanpakutou…" Yumichika's mouth snapped shut at that. He trembled slightly as he waited for Ikkaku to continue. "I don't like kidou-type zanpakutou. I probably thought less of you for a while when I first figured it out. But seeing you work so hard to try to hide it so you could stay in the division, that made me proud to be your friend. Whatever your motives were. Which brings me to my final point."

Ikkaku stepped closer and hesitantly touched Yumichika's cheek. His friend's eyes widened and he stood frozen to the spot. "I might not ever feel the same way about you that you do about me. But no matter what, I want you beside me. And…for you…if that means having sex sometimes, I guess I'd be okay with that. That's the best I can do for you."

Yumichika was totally silent, even his breathing was inaudible, for a long few moments. Then he muttered, "So in other words, you want to forget all this happened, except you want me to answer your physical needs whenever you feel like it?"

Ikkaku frowned, glancing at the floor. "Is that it? It sounded different when I said it…"

Yumichika sighed, folding his arms. "I shouldn't have expected much," he murmured. However, he was blushing as he did so.

Ikkaku smirked. "Tell me how you feel honestly this time, and I'll give you a reward."

Yumichika's ears perked up. "What reward?"

"Tell me and you'll see."

Yumichika's lips parted. He breathed in silently. He held it. He struggled for a long few moments, his lips moving only vaguely as if trying to form words. Then he covered his mouth with his hand, his gaze suddenly falling to the floor. After that, he merely stood and trembled.

Ikkaku felt pity rising in his chest again. "Can't say it?" he said, touching Yumichika's shoulder.

Tears had started running down his pretty face again, and he seemed unable to answer for a moment. Finally, he said, "It took up all my courage to say it once." His voice was soft and cracking. "And even then, I was about to cum, I wasn't exactly thinking things through. I want to say it now…why can't I say it?" More tears fell down his cheeks, and over his hand which still covered his mouth.

Ikkaku knew why. He'd spent years hiding it, it wasn't going to be easy to say it out loud after all that time. Ikkaku watched him for a time, then he couldn't help himself, and drew Yumichika's smaller body into an embrace. His friend gasped in his ear. "Okay. You don't have to say the whole thing. Just that one word."

He could feel Yumichika trembling under his touch. Hesitantly, his whispering voice came, "Wh-…what word…?"

"You know which one."

Yumichika's trembling increased. He clenched his fists at his sides. Slowly, he reached his hands up to cling onto Ikkaku's back. He buried his face in his neck. Then, at a volume he was only able to hear because his mouth was right next to his ear, Yumichika murmured, "Love…" he said. And then he tried to keep going. "I lo-…lov-…" Ikkaku felt more warm wetness on his shoulder. "I lov-…"

"Enough." Ikkaku pulled him back and trapped his lips in an intense kiss.

Yumichika whined against his lips, confused and scared. Ikkaku merely deepened the kiss, tilting Yumichika's head back and holding his waist tight against his own. He felt all the strength draining from Yumichika's body, except his fingers which desperately gripped the fabric on his back. Ikkaku sighed, cradling his head as he met Yumichika's tongue with his own.

Then Yumichika began, feebly admittedly, to push him back. "Ikkaku…" he moaned between kisses. "Stop…Ikkaku…"

Finally Ikkaku drew his lips away, and had to catch Yumichika whose legs had given out on him. He held him close for a moment, a protective feeling coming over him.

"Ikkaku…why aren't you disgusted?" Yumichika whispered.

Ikkaku thought about it. "I don't really know to tell you the truth. Listen, Yumichika." He held Yumichika's cheek as he said, "You have to tell me if you're all right with this. I don't really care what our relationship is, I just don't want to lose you. But that doesn't mean I can ever love you. Do you get that?"

Yumichika met his eyes for a long time. Then a slight smile, a true smile not the painful ones he'd been showing lately, met his face. "As long as you don't hate me…I'm already happy."

"Good," Ikkaku said, and ruined the atmosphere by slapping Yumichika slightly on the cheek.

Yumichika blinked.

Then Ikkaku started to move away. "You'd better be ready to train tomorrow. Don't think you can slack off for two days just because of a silly 'love' problem. I'll see you in the morning."

"Wait…" Yumichika murmured.

Ikkaku stopped, the back of his hakama held by Yumichika's hand. He glanced back at him. Yumichika was blushing deeply.

"It's…okay to say no, but…before you go…would you want to…"

Ikkaku's eyes widened. Then he smirked a bit and turned back to Yumichika. "Are you going to tie me up this time?"

"No…" Yumichika murmured, looking more like his normal self. "Unless you like that." He sighed. "I knew it. Ikkaku, you're such a perv."

Ikkaku gasped. "You rape me, and you have the nerve to call me perverted!"

Yumichika snorted with laughter. He pointed at Ikkaku while politely covering his mouth to hide his smile. "You sound like a virgin girl."

Ikkaku's jaw dropped. "You are unbelievable." Yumichika was still laughing. "It's not that funny." But Yumichika's laughing continued. "It's not funny!" Finally, Ikkaku grabbed Yumichika around the neck and started giving him a noogie. "Is it funny now, bastard?"

Yumichika was still fighting laughter and saying "ow" at the same time. "Give," he said, tapping Ikkaku's arm. "Give, I'm sorry. It's not funny." Grumbling, Ikkaku released him.

As soon as Yumichika was free, he put his arms around Ikkaku's neck and kissed him on the cheek. Then, hiding his embarrassment by avoiding Ikkaku's eyes, he said, "I'm sorry. Please…make love to me…"

Ikkaku blushed. "You didn't really need to ask twice." Then they fell on each other, and kept up their strenuous activities well into the early morning. And, were both chewed out heartily the next morning by Kusajishi Fukutaichou for being late.