It was warm summer's morning, the sun shone down and families were out enjoying the glorious weather. Jill walked up the pebbled graveyard path, past hundreds of headstones to a small spot in the corner. The grey headstone gleamed in the sunlight, the plot recently laid to rest and covered with weary flowers.
Once arriving at the headstone Jill stared at it for several seconds, contemplating what to say and looking around to see if anybody would hear. It was her first time visiting their son's grave alone; on the few previous occasions Gordon had been with her. They'd only ever stayed briefly and then left, no words said, but this time it was different. 'Hello Jonathon... it's your mum' Whispered Jill. She bent down at the foot on the soil, resting her knees gently on the ground and placed the blue tulips on the grave.
'I'm sorry you know; this shouldn't have happened. And believe me, if I could swap places with you I would. You had to so much to live for; so much to do and I can't help but think it's my fault. What am I saying, of course it's my fault.' She explained, her eyes watering and her shoulders slumped forwards. 'Your dad's braver than me, he's carrying on with his life but I can't. I was scared when I found out I was pregnant but I came to love you, before I'd even met you. Your dad, he's a good man but he seems to have forgotten what's happened. All I want to do is talk about you...'
Jill paused for several minutes; taking in the scenery that surrounded her and watching a young boy play with his father in the nearby park.
'Although I do know he'll miss a lot of things, things that he does with Tom. We'd have enjoyed seeing you grow up into a fine young boy. Your dad would have played football with you; he's not very good so it's always worth a laugh at his expense. He'd of taught you to ride your bike in the summer and showed you how to build a snowman in the winter. You'd of loved him you know, just the way we love you'
She sat for a little longer, going over things in her head, enjoying being out the house. But after a while she realised it was time to go, to carry on with her life without their son. 'I'm going to go now but I'll be back, I promise. Bye Jonathon.' She slowly got up off the ground and walked back down the pebbled path and into the busy world. She felt better after spending some quiet time at the grave, it had helped her to collect her thoughts but her soul still ached and her body still confused.