Part two:

Luca and Christina had taken the chance to go get dinner without their mother, so Penelope was sitting in the living room, thinking about how big and empty and lonely the house was without Dave in it. She shivered and pulled her cardigan tighter around her. The fire was nothing but embers now, so she got up and put another log on, stoking it to flames. Then she flopped back onto the couch, remembering so many times they'd spent sitting in front of the fire for no reason but to spend time together.

To say that her heart was heavy with grief was an understatement. It felt like someone had reached into her chest and ripped out her heart – then ran around taunting her with it much to her pain and anguish. She sipped her coffee and sighed.

She was just about to curl up and go to sleep when the doorbell rang.

Who could it be? The kids had keys and alarm codes. Their friends had all called and shared their condolences already…

She got up and headed to the front door, knowing she looked as haggard and dismal as she felt. One look through the peep hole and her heart suddenly soared. She flung the door wide open and rushed to hug JJ tightly. "Oh my god, you don't even know how happy I am to see you," Penelope sobbed.

"I just got in the car and drove as soon as Hotch called," JJ whispered, holding Penelope tightly. "All I could think about was you and the kids being alone right now, and no one should be alone through this. No one."

"Déjà vu," Penelope murmured.

"Yeah, you told me the same thing," JJ said with a sad smile. "Oh, honey, you look like shit."

"I feel like shit," Penelope said with a sad sigh, tucking her sweater closer and retreating from JJ's arms. "You want something to drink? I could probably scare up something better than coffee –"

"Where're the kids?" JJ asked.

"They went out to get some supper," Penelope said softly. "I wasn't hungry, but they'll bring something back for me anyway, but it'll just go to waste. I couldn't eat if I tried right now."

"I know how you feel," JJ said, following her into the living room and settling on the couch with her legs tucked up beneath her. "I got a nice hotel room, so you don't have to worry about me being in the way or anything," she said. "And I can stay as long as you need me to. I've got plenty of time off accrued," she assured Penelope.

"We haven't talked since… I don't know when," Penelope sighed. "Why would you just drop everything and rush to my side?"

JJ reached over and patted Penelope's thigh comfortingly. "Because that's what friends do," she said very quietly. "They drop everything and come running and listen. You did it for me when Will was shot. And I thought I could never repay you."

Penelope sighed and shivered. "I'm so tired but I can't sleep," she said. "Between Dave and everything else…" She closed her eyes. "I don't know how I'm going to get through this, JJ. I really don't."

"It's going to be okay," JJ said.

Penelope shook her head. "No," she whispered. "No, it's not." She got up and stoked the fire, then went to the kitchen and got a couple bottles of hard cider and the church key. She popped the lid off her bottle and passed the bottle opener to JJ. "It's not going to be okay because Dave's not here," she said very quietly. "He was the only one who could help me through this. And… he's gone. Because we fought about it."

"I don't understand," JJ said, shaking her head.

"The cancer's back and worse than ever," Penelope said, her voice breaking. "I'm in late stage three already."

"Oh my god," JJ gasped. "No – not again –"

"How do you think I feel?" Penelope asked, taking a long swallow of cider. She looked down at the bottle in her hands, refusing to look up at the pity in JJ's eyes. "I told him I didn't think it was right to fight it again if all we'd already done just made it worse," she murmured. "I've already fought this twice, JJ. I can't do it again. And now, he's gone and I… I'd rather go be with him than fight a losing battle."

"What about the kids?" JJ asked.

"They're old enough to take care of themselves," Penelope sighed. "They're going to have to eventually, aren't they?"

"Are you going to tell them?"

Penelope shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. They had such a hard time with the treatments before – I shouldn't worry them now."

"Oh, honey," JJ sighed. "They're going to worry the moment they see you starting to waste away… what are you going to tell them then? That you just miss their dad so much that you stopped eating? They're going to stick you in the looney bin."

Penelope sighed again and finally looked up from her drink and into the kind, loving eyes of her best friend. "I can't do it alone," she whispered, the last bit of her heart shattering as the words left her lips.

"No one is asking you to," JJ murmured, moving to hug her and comfort her. "No one is asking you to do anything alone," she breathed softly.

Christina and Luca stepped out of the sanctuary and closed the doors behind them. Luca immediately headed toward the parking lot – he had football practice and he couldn't miss it with the championships right around the corner. He'd already said goodbye to his father, and he was okay with missing the visitation, and the funeral if necessary.

Christina glanced around the antechamber, looking for familiar faces – there were a few, and then she squealed in giddy glee. "Auntie Em! Uncle Spencer!" she cried, rushing over to hug them. "I didn't think you'd be able to come!"

"We almost couldn't," Emily said, hugging her back. "Stand back and let me get a look at you, young lady – my god, when did you get so tall?"

"A while ago," Christina said with a little smile. "How is England? I miss it – I wish Mama and Dad would've let me travel instead of going straight into school. I would totally have bummed in your flat."

Reid laughed. "You know, I think you would've," he said in an amused voice. "But you're always welcome to crash on the couch whenever you're in London, no questions asked. Just make sure we know you're coming."

"I'll take you up on that one of these days," Christina said with a soft sigh. "I'm sorry you had to drop everything to come home for this…"

"How's your mom holding up?" Emily asked worriedly. "Hotch said she's really upset."

"If Uncle Spencer died all of a sudden, wouldn't you be really upset, too?" Christina shot back. "She's… fine. I guess. She hasn't really said much since it happened. Luca and I keep finding ways to get out of the house because she's starting to creep us out a little."

"She's not fine, then," Reid said firmly. "We should all sit down and have dinner and talk and catch up –"

Christina's smile turned sad. "Maybe later," she said. "Mama's in the sanctuary, talking to the funeral director and making sure that Daddy looks perfect for everyone. She was talking to him earlier like nothing happened and they were just going out for a walk when they carried the casket in. It was definitely weird."

"Maybe less so than you think," Reid began, but Emily cut him off with a kiss. "Never mind."

"Hey, it looks like I'm missing all the fun over here, "JJ said, joining them. "What's up, my bitches?" She and Reid did their secret handshake, and she gave Emily a huge hug. "How's Scotland Yard? Are they treating you guys okay over there? Henry and I miss you!"

"We're fine," Emily said with a smile. "Work is fine, the flat's great, and my husband… well, I can't complain too much." She gave him another kiss and snuggled up against his side. "Now, this jet lag, I could do without."

"Do I ever know that feeling," Reid agreed with a crooked smile.

The sanctuary doors opened and Penelope stepped through them, passing through the crowd without a word or a second glance before she was out of sight. "Wow, that was quick," JJ said wryly.

Christina shrugged – she didn't want to know how the inside of her mother's head was working about now. It was a scary thought. She glanced around the room again and her gaze settled on Jack Hotchner – her ex-husband… and the only man she'd probably ever love. Feeling a little dizzy, she excused herself and went outside for a cigarette.

Yeah, she knew it was a bad habit – a nervous habit – and that it probably didn't behoove a future doctor to smoke, but at times like this, she didn't care all that much. She settled onto a bench that looked out on the parking lot and marveled at the sheer number of cars in the concrete jungle. She really didn't think her parents knew that many people.

She watched people getting out of their cars and going inside, some of them acknowledging her as they passed her. Some of them knew who she was – others were total strangers. Her father had been famous as an author and as a pioneer in behavioral analysis, and he had more than his fair share of groupies. Her mother had always had to beat the really willing ones off with a stick, though.

She took a deep drag on the cigarette and stubbed her toes in the dirt under the bench, wondering why it was so hard to deal with funerals.

"You look like you don't want to be here," a man with a deep, gravelly voice said in a slightly amused tone.

"Mmm, watching people tell my mom how good a person my dad was isn't my idea of a good time," Christina shot back, dropping the cigarette butt in the dirt and twisting it out with her shoe. "I'm sure now that you know who I am, you're going to tell me how sorry you are my dad died."

The man smiled and said, "Nope. Your father was a dirty rotten bastard," he said, leading his kids down the walkway. "I'm just here for the food."