Goldfish tastes like candy, which I like very much.
Water? I'm not incredibly fond of because it mats my fur and I smell like day old garbage.
"Zera!" the Ymoh calls for me. I like him. He's very pleasant and protects me when I'm infrequently vulnerable. I might share this goldfish with him, if he chooses. At the moment, he seems preoccupied with helping me out of the pond. I don't know what controlled me to fall into the water as a normal fox!
My hand slides into his, and I stumble as he pulls me out of the water. I'm completely drenched and so cold that my teeth chatter. I don't mind my teeth doing that, but my tail frizzes and ears stand on my head. I dislike my giant antennas.
Even Ymoh's warm smile can't save him from the crime of poking my ears. I waste a good goldfish by tapping his forehead with it.
"I killed it." Disastrous for me, and I toss it back into the pond, giving it a soft prayer for its journey to the Other Side and its forgiveness.
Ymoh hasn't released my hand. He's oddly affectionate for someone who is not my Familiar. I won't complain; it's nice to have a friend and one that isn't afraid to touch wet fur. He nods at me, "That's why you don't smack people with something tiny like a goldfish. Bad Zera."
He is not winning any points here. "I'm not a small fox anymore! Don't discipline me like one!"
"Right. Sorry," he chuckles and quickly releases my hand once he realizes he hasn't let go of it. "Are you okay now?"
I unhook the dream-catcher from my neck as it's nearly choking me. "Yes. Just damp. I'll need to find the nearest Whale-Lamp before I reek like dog's butt."
Clearly, I don't know what possessed the Ymoh to laugh like he did, but he carefully leans on a nearby fence to keep his balance. Dog Butt. What is so funny about that? It's nasty! "What is your problem, Ymoh? Dog rectum is one of the most disgusting things to smell, just a short distance from turtle."
His gray eyes sharpen and all laughter ceases. He hasn't looked that serious since he arrived. "Turtle? So you're saying I smell?"
"What are you saying?" I squeeze the water out of my ears and shake my head. "You haven't done anything to warrant such an insult, Ymoh."
"Ymoh," he mumbles and steps closer, almost intimidating me, and that is hard to do. "What does Ymoh mean here? You never told me, Zera."
A fork clinks at the table. I know those little dinner party people are watching us now. I can feel their nosy eyes on me and would kindly like for them not to stare at us.
"Zera?" his quiet voice striking my thoughts. Reminding me that I need to answer him, but I can't take all the staring and judging. What is everyone's malfunction? I will have none of it!
I step back and bury my heels into the ground. "You are of sound mind and body, immigrant! Are your eyes deceiving you?" But then I ceased speaking, as quick as the droplets strokes the ground, especially as his stare is chilling me, and I come to a startling revelation: how quickly I have forgotten what this world does to the mind.
"I will not have any of this!" speaks a dinner party member, dressed nicely but holds an air of importance that I don't particularly like. He snatches my other hand and licks it! "My furry madam, I shall rid you of your burdens. Then you may accompany me to my daughter's party. You would look simply dashing next to me."
The Ymoh and I glare at the Yutz until he feels as small as a pea.
He casually quips, "I'll provide the dress and Whale-Lamp for you."
I do what any self-respecting woman does, and I rattle all of the excess water off my fur onto him. Unfortunately, it strikes the Ymoh too, but he doesn't mind and even leaves me with the Yutz! I pay no attention to the guy nattering away and watch the Ymoh confront another party member: a very unhygienic and nervous guy.
"Excuse me, but you talked about a mermaid earlier. Where can I find her?"
Dirty guy stammers, "Near the Lucaracs' nest, off to the far seas, my boy. Do you treasure ye nads?"
"I do, but I want to go home, and she's my ticket out of here." Ymoh cautiously looks at me and then back at the Dirty guy. "Just point me in the right direction and I'll be on my way. I won't disturb your dinner party anymore."
Before I can blitz a word in, the Yutz interrupts with his brilliant plan, "I'll give you everything you need, Boy. A boat, a net, even a fishing pole."
"And nad protector, too," Dirty one chimes and nods like it's highly important. What is his obsession with nads? Did he lose his?
"Yes, even that," Yutz sneers and twiddles his thumbs. "Everything you need." His last words struck an odd feeling in me.
"In exchange for?" Ymoh isn't one to be fooled. It's difficult ripping my sight from him because I never know what to expect. I like challenges.
The Yutz didn't answer for a moment, and I found out why soon enough: he's pointing at me. Me!
"I'm not on the market! I'm a part of his team, worm!" I wish I had a rock hammer in my hands right now.
"We're going to a fabulous party! Just for one night!" he cries and straightens his fancy tie. "If it goes further, I won't complain. I'm into your type. If you know what I mean." Wink, creepy wink.
His questionable manner suddenly reminds me that I'm naked as a newborn, and I didn't want to give him further pleasure. My nipples are on end, and I gasp to think at what he's wanting to do to them. Slimy Yutzy weasel in a suit and slick hair! While everyone's gears are turning about that knucklehead's offer, I rip the frilly cloth directly off the table and tie it around my damp body. The Bear hands me a rope.
Much better! I have the appearance of a hag, but I don't feel as violated.
"Scum!" I hiss and courageously snatch a fire-tool from the Ymoh's old seat. "I'll cut off your nads and feed it to -" I catch a glimpse of Dirty one and he grins with all seven of his teeth at me, "-I'll serve it as an appetizer at this table! Now, take back your words! NOBODY owns me!"
All eyes are glued on me. I feel like a right fool the longer nobody speaks!
"You understand?"
Ymoh is smirking. Smirking! I'm delighted he finds this situation humorous!
"They say that girls with long ears are a mighty fine mess, yar," Dirty Toothless recants with a twinkle in his scabby eye, "No matter what they do, ye can't stay mad at them, and I like to think ye can hold their ears during a wet tussle!"
He and the Yutz fall into themselves laughing, and I would expect it from scum like them. Bear and Ymoh shake their heads and sigh, like watching over a daycare. My final nerve snaps at that moment, and I scurry on the table and thrust the fire-tool into everyone's dinner plates, slam every pot and silverware into the next garden, toss food into the air, and prove to them that the myth about girls with long ears is true except they're not touching mine and I'll happily chop off all of their body parts. They want a mighty fine mess, and they got one.
They bloody got one!
"Zera!" I can barely hear Ymoh's calls as my destruction continues. Red, red everywhere. Red mixed with the many colors of food and purple cutlery. Who could eat this rubbish! I want one of the baboons to stop me, to lay one hand on me, and then I have a reason to go completely mad and grind all of them to pieces. Screaming voices all around me. Arms flailing, bouncing cloth from the leaps, and I'm feeling elevated. I'm feeling GREAT. Rushed, excited, and –!
SNAP.
And one painful thud to my skull.
Humming, like a soft tune, brought me back to consciousness. When I lift my eyes, the Dirty one peers dead on me, and I gasp with fright. Ymoh politely moves him out of my view and smiles at me. What a nice face he has. I wonder if he ever worries about blemishes.
"That crazy fox! Get her out of here!" Sounds like Yutz. "I'm late and it's all her fault! I should whip her with my floss! I just got the piano wire flavor last week."
"Arr, Lady Fox inhaled a bit of that mercury on ye tablecloth, Bucky," Dirty's voice booms from my right. "Explains why she went crazy when she wore it." He bonds his soiled face into mine and whispers, "Fine show, lady. Didn't mean to hurt ye about ye ears and all, but if ye ever want to make a little extra cash, I can point ye to a wee bar in Corkfoot."
Who I assume is the Bucky the Bear grabs the lug by the head and tosses him aside. "Enough of this foolishness. The party is ruined and we have a lady down on the ground. Marty, start cleaning!"
Ymoh's fingers press on my forehead; softly, he speaks, "How are you?"
His gentleness almost scares me, too. "Coherent. Embarrassed, but I'll live. What happened? Did someone hit me?"
"No, no," Ymoh chuckles, "The table snapped in half and you went down head first. We all sort of... stood there as your legs hung up in the air. Forgive me. I acted foolish."
I should be mad, but I can't be. Not with those eyes and his pleasant face. I'm really warming up to him. At first I thought he was a yutz, too, and running around naked and stupid. He proved to be a brave soul and smart as a whip. As many times as I wanted to abandon him, I couldn't. I just couldn't find the heart to let him go.
To ease his worries, I smile back. "I bet that was a funny sight. I was the daft one and deserved a knock on my head. Thank you for not abandoning me."
His gaze never leaves me and I wonder if I have a nasty cut on my face or if I truly smell like turtle now.
"Oh!" My legs twitch at remembering turtle. "Ymoh means human here since you asked earlier."
I think his eyes are about to drop on my face. I suppose he wasn't expecting that answer.