Part sixteen:

"Thank you for picking me up," Penelope said softly to Hotch as they left the airport. "I don't think I should be driving."

"No, really?" Hotch asked dryly. "How's your arm?"

She shrugged and sighed. "Still tingly. They're pretty sure the biggest two tumors damaged the nerves and by cutting them out, they did more harm than good. But at least I can move my fingers again – it only took three weeks."

"I'm sorry," Hotch said, his voice full of compassion. "Is there anything they can do beside give you more pain pills?"

She laughed bitterly. "Not so much, no," she sighed, looking out the window as they drove down the street. "It's okay. I'm still alive and kicking and screaming bloody fucking murder, aren't I? Then it's okay."

"Right," Hotch agreed.

Penelope sighed. "I need to make some changes to my will – just in case," she said. "I'm not giving up, believe me, but if I die, it's probably going to be sudden and I want to be prepared." She turned to look at him. "I know you and Morgan are still friends – and that he's been keeping you updated on the state of my health."

Hotch sighed. "Sort of," he admitted. "No specific details, just general ones like that you were in the hospital."

She nodded, still watching the world whizzing past. "He's been too good to me the last few weeks," she murmured. "As his friend, I want you to work with me – if something happens and I can't… I can't be there for him," her voice cracked and broke completely.

"Penelope, don't try to –"

"It's important," she whispered. "I need you to help me – help me take care of him. And Mick and Wanda, too. Please, Hotch."

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," he said.

"No – because tomorrow might be too late and I… I want it done," she said.

"Okay, we'll talk about it when I get you home," Hotch assured her. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired – a little nauseated," she sighed. "I'm surprised I haven't had a call from Chrissy and about ten from Derek."

"They're probably trying to let you have some space and be independent," Hotch said. "Which is completely at odds with me already having shown your nurse around the house today."

Penelope frowned and gritted her teeth. "I keep telling people that I don't need help, but no one wants to listen," she grumbled.

"And the new maid," Hotch added.

"A maid, too?" she groaned.

"Well, you can't dust yourself," he pointed out. "Or carry a bag of trash."

"Stop telling me what I can't do," she muttered irritably. "I already know what I can't do – you don't have to remind me, okay?"

"I'm just trying to help," he sighed.

"I'm overdue on my pills," she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"Don't worry about it," Hotch said quietly.

"No, Aaron, I –"

"I said, don't worry about it," he said, pulling into her driveway and up to the house before he stopped. "Okay, let me get you inside and set you up with the nurse – and then I'll bring in your bags and we'll talk about your will after your pills kick in."

About two hours later, Penelope crawled into bed and suddenly realized that she'd never turned her phone back on. Once she had, message after message popped up for her. The last one was Derek, and she listened to it first. "Now, I know you aren't just ignoring me, Penelope," he scolded softly. "Come on, Baby Girl, just call and tell me you got home safe, okay? I'm fighting the urge to get on a plane and make sure you're all right. I love you, silly girl."

She called him back as she got comfortable. "Hey, you," she murmured. "I got home fine – I just had to meet the nurse and work with Hotch on something to do with the estate. No biggie."

"I was really worried about you," Derek said. "I thought something had happened and no one thought to tell me anything because 'we hate each other'."

"Hotch won't let that happen," she promised him gently. "You're probably going to get a call from him later, saying that it's about time we got our heads out of our asses." She stifled a yawn. "I'll call you later – I'm worn out, handsome."

"How is the nurse?" Derek asked.

She sighed. "She's fine – a little snarky, but fine."

"You two should get along well, then," he teased. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I know," she murmured. "I love you, too."

"Be good – no torturing the nurse for the sake of it," he scolded with a chuckle.

"Where's the fun in that?" she asked, pouting a little.

"Get some rest, Baby Girl."

She hung up, suddenly very unwilling to tell him that she couldn't sleep well without him anymore.

"So, when exactly did you two get cozy again?" Hotch asked with very little emotion in his voice. "I thought you were still pissed about everything."

Derek sighed. "So did I – for the longest time," he said, drumming his fingertips on his home desk. "But Rossi told me something very important in that envelope he left me and I had to talk to her about it. And I couldn't find it in me to be that angry at her anymore – even though she's the most stubborn, bull-headed woman on the damn planet."

"You're telling me," Hotch muttered. "We were going over some legal things this afternoon and she kept insisting that she was fine to do things she clearly wasn't. The new maid and the nurse kept trying to intervene and Penelope ended up throwing things at them with her good arm and telling them to get the hell out of her house."

Derek frowned. "She didn't hurt herself, did she?"

"No, but I'm not entirely sure she didn't wear herself out with her temper tantrum," Hotch said.

"I talked to her after that," Derek said. "She didn't sound very good, but kept saying she was fine."

"She's trying to put on a brave face," Hotch warned. "This happened twice before – and Dave and I had to stage an intervention both times. I'm not looking forward to having to do it again."

Derek's frown deepened. "She should just rest and let the drugs do their job," he said.

"You try telling her that," Hotch suggested. "I bet you get the boot just the same as the nurse."

Derek exhaled a deep sigh. "Yeah, probably," he agreed. "She'll probably change her mind about me – I wouldn't blame her. I'm no Rossi. The money doesn't matter as long as the people I love are happy." He looked out into the hallway where Wanda and Mick were fighting quietly about where the stud was in the wall so they could hang something up. "Speaking of, I might have to intervene in living room in a minute – the kids are fighting."

Hotch paused a moment, then said, "Look – if you and Penelope are really on better footing like you're both claiming, maybe you could talk some sense into her. She really can't take care of things by herself at the moment, hence the nurse and the maid. Luca is in and out of the house with school and he's going to be leaving in August for college. She needs to understand that she can't just handle things by herself anymore."

"I'll talk to her," Derek said. "And if things with the nurse and maid don't work out like they should, let me know. She'll never tell me that things are going so badly wrong. I already told Christina that if things got bad, I'd quit CPD and move house to be close enough to help."

"Yeah, somehow, I don't think your kids will appreciate that very much," Hotch pointed out.

"Doesn't matter," Derek said firmly. "This is the one case where I'm not going to care what they think about things. If Penelope needs me, I will be there. End of story."

There was another long pause, and Derek could hear the kids hammering in the other room. Hotch finally said, "Are you still in love with her, Morgan?"

Derek sighed. "Are you going to lecture me if I say I never fell out of love with her?"

"You're going to get burned," Hotch warned. "She's not like you remember – she's quick to –"

"I know," Derek assured him. "I've spent a lot of time with her the last few weeks and I've seen Penelope at her best and her worst. Doesn't matter – I still love her."

"She told you about Jack and Christina?" Hotch asked stiffly. "Because that's where we fell out. She accused my son of beating her daughter and being a drunk piece of work, but what really happened is that Christina had a miscarriage and ended up snapping a little bit upstairs and hurt herself – and blamed Jack. She ran off and served him with divorce papers within a few days."

Derek felt a muscle in his cheek twitch as he ground his teeth together. "No offense, Hotch? But Jack isn't the perfect son you think he is," he said. "Did you know he was in Chicago a few weeks ago to try to win her back? He borrowed money from me and skipped town when she sent him packing. Now, I don't care about the money – but I do care that people I care about are at each other's throats because of it."

"I… I didn't know," Hotch said. "How much did he borrow – I'll cut you a check –"

"Man, did you not just hear me say that the money doesn't matter?" Derek asked. "Jack needs to get over himself. He's not god's gift to women and throwing money around when you don't have it is just going to make it hard."

Hotch sighed. "His commissions aren't going as well as they should be," he said. "No one's buying at the moment, so I've been paying his rent."

Derek sighed. "No wonder he wanted to try to hook up with Christina again – she's a rich heiress, and she'd be easy for the picking, since she's his ex and all…"

Hotch groaned. "Damn it, stop trying to talk sense – I can't believe that he'd just… do you think he's been lying to me all this time about them?"

"I think that Jack doesn't want his dad to see that he's failing in everything he really wants to succeed in – so he's blaming others for his inability to make things go the way he wants," Derek said bluntly.

Hotch sighed. "Damn it."

"Don't beat yourself up over it," Derek said. "Shit happens. I mean, for god's sake, I broke up with Penelope and then got butthurt because she hooked up with Rossi – and I tried to destroy her wedding because I was too stupid to just tell her in the first damn place that I was scared that she'd never love me the way I loved her. So, yeah. Twenty years of shit pushed away because I still love her and now I can show her. What's the point in holding a grudge that long? It didn't make me any happier to think she was hurting, too."

Hotch snorted lightly. "You've got it bad," he commented dryly.

Derek sighed – less in annoyance than amusement. "Yeah, I guess I do," he agreed. "And if she does die from this, I want her to die knowing that I was the stupid one and it was my fault we weren't together the whole time."

Hotch chuckled. "Yeah, you're over your head," he teased. "But if you decide to drop everything and come back to Virginia, I can use some of my pull with the local PDs and get you a job. Just let me know, okay?"

Derek nodded, knowing full well Hotch couldn't see it. "Yeah, man – I will. But if I drop everything, it'll be to take care of Penelope. I don't know how I'd work and make sure she's okay, too. You know?"

Hotch sighed. "Well, don't get so wrapped up in Penelope's problems that you can't take care of your own," he warned. "She's sick and might die – but you'll have to keep living, no matter what."

"I know," Derek said very quietly. "But better to love and have lost than to have never loved at all."