Part seventeen:

Derek checked his watch, then looked at the boarding sign, then back at his watch. They hadn't delayed anything, but they were definitely running late. He was not pleased. His frown deepened and he sighed, rubbing the top of his head idly.

"You've got somewhere better to be?" a woman asked, sitting down beside him. "I mean, you've practically been dancing in your seat for the last ten minutes."

"Just anxious to get off the ground," he muttered.

"Really?" she asked dryly. "I couldn't tell."

She was pretty – dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair, dark clothes… But he didn't care. He was too damn worried about Penelope. She hadn't called for days and he couldn't get anyone to tell him what was going on. Christina just said that she was probably too worn out from the treatments to call. Luca didn't answer the phone. Neither did Hotch. It left him feeling helpless and anxious for her welfare.

"So, what's so important that you're itching to get out of here?" the woman asked. "Hot date?"

He sighed and shook his head. "My girlfriend – I guess you'd say we're dating, but it's so much more complicated than that – stopped answering calls almost a week ago."

"Mmm, sounds like she's not interested anymore," the woman said with pity in her tone. "Though, why she'd want to give you up, I'd never know –"

He shook his head sharply. "Something had to have happened," Derek said firmly. "She doesn't just stop calling. She made a promise once never to stop talking to me." He sighed and covered his face with his hands. "She has cancer. She's going through treatment. I'm terrified that something happened."

"And what if it did?" she asked.

He looked up at her in disgust. "Then I'd be pissed that I wasn't there – because my damn flight is late!" he snapped. He was about to say more but his phone trilled. He grabbed it, saw it was Hotch, and answered. "Hey – where have you been?"

"I was in Washington, laying down the law with my son," Hotch said with a sigh. "I just got back to Viriginia."

"Have you heard from Penelope?" Derek asked anxiously.

"No – haven't you?" Hotch asked.

"No – she stopped answering calls or making them almost a week ago. I haven't been able to get in touch with Luca, and Christina blew me off –"

He could hear Hotch frowning. "Let me swing by the house and check on things –"

"Okay – my flight's about to board," Derek said. "I'll just get a cab when I get there."

"I'll call you as soon as I know anything," Hotch assured him. "You gonna be okay?"

Derek sighed. "Not if something's happened to her," he admitted. "I can't lose her again, Hotch."

"I know," Hotch said.

"I need to know she's all right – " He swallowed hard and sighed. "Look, I've got to go – they're boarding."

The woman was watching him, clutching her bag as he hung up. "Your girlfriend is very lucky," she said softly. "Don't wait to tell her how you feel, okay? She'll want to hear it."

Derek stood up and slung his carryon over his shoulder. "I plan on asking her to marry me," he asked.

The woman held out a small printed card. "Well… if anything changes, here's my card," she said with a small smile.

Derek looked at it for a moment, then pocketed it, knowing it would go in the trash as soon as they landed and he went to the bathroom. "Thanks for listening to me," he said with a sigh. "It's been a long day."

"Oh, believe me, if my ex-husband loved me as much as you love her, I'd listen to anything he had to say," she said wistfully before she headed away to board the plane.

Derek waited his turn in line and boarded, his stomach knotting up even more as he began to think of all the things that could be happening. The least of his worries was getting hit on in the damn airport.

Hotch was waiting for him at the baggage claim. "Hey," he said.

"I said I was going to get a cab –"

"Penelope's in the hospital," Hotch said. "Do you have any checked bags?"

"Just one," Derek said. "When did she go into the hospital?"

"Last week – she apparently caught a bug and she can't shake it with her immune system as weakened as it is," Hotch said.

"Why didn't anyone call me?" Derek demanded furiously. "For god's sake –"

"Luca would have been the one in charge," Hotch said. "He and Christina share her power of attorney now."

Derek almost snarled. "We'll see about that," he grunted.

"Morgan –"

"No – if those two kids don't care enough about her to tell people that she's taken a turn for the worse, why the hell should they be making her medical decisions for her? Let alone the financial ones." Derek's scowl deepened. "Luca isn't even eighteen, is he?"

Hotch sighed. "He has special legal dispensation."

Derek shook his head and sighed. "Well, clearly, the kid doesn't know what the hell he's doing," he muttered bitterly. "Because she's sick and no one knew –"

"JJ's been here," Hotch said. "Luca called her for help when Penelope took her turn – so at least someone has been here to take care of things."

"I want an explanation from the damn kid," Derek hissed. "I want to know what the HELL happened."

"Stop," Hotch said firmly as Derek grabbed his luggage from the carousel. "Going into this half-cocked isn't going to help anything. Stop it. Luca isn't a bad kid – he's just a kid. He's got school, work, and trying to make sense of what's going on when his father died and his mother's getting worse. Okay? You don't need to make this out to be malignant in any way – he called JJ, which shows he needed help and probably didn't have anywhere else to turn."

"That's not an excuse," Derek growled. "His first concern should have been for his mother – not for any of the other shit."

Hotch sighed. "Like I said, he's a kid, Morgan. He doesn't understand."

Derek muttered, "Oh, he's going to understand when I'm through with him."

Derek could tell that JJ was keeping him from going into the hospital room. Every time he moved to take a step, she blocked him. "How is she?" he asked, finally getting frustrated.

"Not good," JJ said. "You can't just march in there bold as brass," she said, holding up a hand and pushing him back. "You won't like what you're seeing – so just stand here and let me tell you what's going on, okay? She finished a round of radiation about a week ago and went home under her own power. Sometime between when she got home and when Luca got home from work that night, she collapsed – of course, on the nurse's night off. He got her to the hospital and they got her hooked up to everything and found out she's got a virus that mimics the flu but acts more like pneumonia. She's got the intestinal distress of the flu coupled with the fluid in her lungs and couldn't shake the fever. They put her on a feeding tube this morning and finally got her fever to break about an hour ago – but she's too weak to fight much more. So they've given her a sedative so maybe – maybe – she can rest and her body can start to repair itself. Till they get the virus under control, she can't continue treatments – so the oncologists have been in and out all day conferring with everyone else. "

"I don't care – I need to see her," Derek said stubbornly.

"Derek, she didn't want me to call you," JJ said firmly. "She doesn't want you to see her like she is."

"I don't fucking care," he said.

"Yes, you do," JJ said. "You care. And she's not in any shape for visitors right now."

Derek growled and rounded on JJ. "You know what, Jennifer? I need you to understand something right fucking now – I am not leaving just because you say Penelope doesn't want me here. If anything, I think you're the one that needs to leave for a while."

Her eyes widened and she said, "You aren't going in there till you calm down."

"Enough," Hotch said, finally stepping between them. "Morgan, JJ's already explained what's going on – Penelope is sedated. You don't want to disrupt her. JJ, Morgan's right – you need to go take a break. You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I haven't," JJ said sharply, glaring at Derek.

"I'm not leaving till I see her," Derek said, digging his heels in.

Hotch sighed and said, "Fine – you get five minutes. And then we're all going to the house and figuring out what the hell to do next."

"Someone needs to stay with her," JJ protested.

"She's sedated," Hotch pointed out.

"Yeah, but someone needs to be with her," JJ insisted.

"I'll stay," Derek said firmly. "As long as it takes."

JJ was about to open a big old can of whup-ass on him, and Hotch steered her away. "Let's go get some food and you can sleep a while," he said. "Morgan won't do anything stupid."

"No – she doesn't want him here," JJ protested.

"Did she say that or did Luca say that?" Hotch asked.

JJ's shoulders slumped and she sighed. "Luca."

"That kid is getting an ass-kicking," Derek muttered. "As soon as Penelope is feeling better, I'll turn her loose on him. I don't have a right to be pissed – she does."

"You're right," JJ said. "You don't have a right to be pissed. You aren't a part of her life, Derek. You made your choice a long time ago and walked away."

"Bullshit," Hotch said. "JJ, I don't know what your godson told you, but Derek and Penelope have mended their fences. He was with her the whole time she was in Chicago for her first treatments. That doesn't sound like walking away to me."

JJ's eyes narrowed and she muttered, "I'm going to kill that little snot."

"Get in line," Hotch replied. "Penelope gets first dibs."

"Go get some rest," Derek said. "And then we can make plans."

"What kind of plans?" JJ asked, confused.

"I'm moving back to Virginia – I can't leave Penelope," he tried to explain. "I can't let this happen again, JJ – she needs me here. But my kids…"

JJ nodded. "We'll make plans – after I crash."

Derek stayed in the corridor till they walked away, then he went into the room. The lights were dimmed, but even so, he could tell that Penelope was far from well. She was thin – too thin. Her skin was sallow and grey-tinged. Her head was covered with a stocking cap and there were entirely too many lines running into and out of her body. Her heart monitor beeped steadily.

"Hey," he whispered, pulling up a chair and sitting down beside her. "I'm sorry I'm late, Baby Girl – I'm sorry you've been going through this alone." The heartbeat on the monitor sped up just a little, then relaxed again. He lifted her hand and kissed it. "I love you – I do. I know it seems like I ran out and left you, but I didn't know you were sick. I came as soon as I knew for sure something was wrong. But that's not happening again – I'm not going to let it happen, sweetheart. I'm going to be here for you, I promise – in all the ways that count most. Okay?"

He sat in the dim lights, holding her hand, till he fell asleep.