Part eighteen:

When Penelope woke up, her first instinct was to panic. She had a mask over her face and her arms felt like lead weights as she reached up and tried to claw the mask off. Her heart monitor was going crazy, but so was her heart – beating faster and faster with her panic.

Then the mask came off and Derek gently stroked her cheeks. "Shh," he whispered soothingly. "It's okay, Baby Girl – it's okay."

She took a deep breath and started coughing. He raised her bed and held a bedpan for her to hack a lung up into, then pushed the button for the nurse. "Hi," she croaked, very weakly.

"Don't try so hard to talk," Derek scolded gently. "You'll only make things worse." He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You gave us all a scare there, missy."

She smiled, suddenly tired from the effort of waking up in the first place. "I'm sorry – but why didn't you come when JJ called you?" she rasped. "I told her to call you –"

"She didn't," Derek said bluntly. "But don't you worry about it, okay? We've already talked about it and set things straight."

She nodded and whispered, "I've got no hair left – and no boobs, either. I kept thinking why would he want me now when I'm such a piece of…"

"Shh," he murmured. "Hush, now. None of that. None of it, Baby Girl. I love you. Isn't that enough to know? I love you and I'm here now and I'm not leaving you, okay?"

"Where's JJ?" she asked.

"She's in Chicago," Derek said gently. "She'll be back in a few days – we're moving into your guest house."

Her eyes clouded over with pain. "You and JJ –"

"No, no," Derek said, shaking his head. "The kids and me – JJ's letting us borrow it till you get better. And you will get better," he said firmly.

She smiled a little in relief. "I thought you meant –"

"I know what you thought and how could you even think it?" he asked, frowning. "Haven't I been telling you every day for the last six months how much I love you?"

She sighed and nodded. "Except the last few days –"

"Two weeks," he corrected, kissing her very gently. "You really gave us a scare, Penelope. I really thought I was going to lose you again."

She lifted her bad hand to cup his cheek. "You can't get rid of me that easily, buster," she murmured.

He smiled. "Good," he said firmly as one of the nurses came in. "Hey, Anna – she's awake and being saucy… is that a good sign or a bad one?"

The nurse smiled and checked the chart. "Very good, Mr. Morgan – considering she should've woken up yesterday," she said, moving to check the machines and hook-ups before she took Penelope's vital signs. "You're doing much better, Mrs. Rossi – but you should rest till Dr. Overton gets here on his rounds. He'll be able to tell you more."

Penelope nodded. "I'm getting pretty tired," she admitted. "Already – which makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Derek said. "Silly girl." The nurse smiled at them and left, closing the door behind her. "Are you really tired or just faking it so the nurse goes away?"

"Really tired," she said with a sigh. "And my head is hot – " She reached up and yanked the hat off her head, suddenly remembering that she was bald when the cold air hit it. "Oh – that's why –"

Derek took the ugly black hat and got a new one from the little box beside the bed. He placed it onto her head and smiled. "That's better," he said. "It's your Sunday hat – JJ said so."

Penelope rolled her eyes, then reached up to adjust it, smiling when she realized it was her kitty cat knitted cap that Emily had sent from England. It had lopsided ears since Emily had gotten frustrated and quit, but that was part of its charm. "Thank you," she murmured.

"You're welcome," he replied, kissing her. "Can I talk to you about something? Nothing bad – just something that's been bothering me since I found out you were sick."

She nodded. "Yeah, of course –"

"Your son was very quick to point out that he and Christina share your power of attorney and that he didn't do anything wrong in telling JJ not to call me," Derek sighed. "I thought JJ was going to punch him in the face when he said that – but it brings up a valid point. I'm nothing and nobody to you as far as the law goes. I shouldn't even be here now."

She frowned and whispered, "You are not nothing – and you are most certainly somebody," she whispered. "Luca shouldn't have said any of those things – I'll talk to him…"

Derek sighed. "Penelope, he's right, unfortunately."

"If Luca treated you that way – no, no, you should share power of attorney with them," she whispered, looking up at him. "I need Hotch to come in and –"

"Baby," Derek said softly, "your kids are going to be pissed if you change things. They barely tolerate me being here in the first place."

She scowled. "My kids are going to have to get the hell over it," she snapped. "This is what I want – what they want doesn't matter."

Derek cupped her face in both hands. "Penelope, shut up and listen to me," he said firmly. "You know I don't want your money. You know I don't want to hurt you again. And I don't want to hurt your family. But I can't live like this, knowing that you could be taken away from me at any time and you don't know how much I love you."

"I know how much you love me," she whispered.

"No, you really don't," he said. "I love you so much that I want all the things we missed before – I still want to move in with you, create a family with you, be able to go walk on the beach in the moonlight once in a while…"

"I'm a little old for creating a family," she teased.

"No, we take your kids and my kids and push 'em together like the Brady Bunch," he teased. "Maybe adopt a kid or something. You're never too old to create a family."

She sighed and murmured, "I want that, too – but I –"

He kissed her gently and whispered, "Then will you marry me, Penelope?"

She blinked at him in shock. "What?"

"Marry me?" he repeated.

"Derek – honey – I can't," she exhaled. "No – no – I can't, not right now."

His face fell, and she sighed. But then he smiled a little and said, "That's okay – I'll just ask you every day and when you're ready, just say yes."

"What if I'm never ready?"

"Then I'll keep asking," he whispered, kissing her again. This time, she kissed him back, deepening the kiss and making it a promise. When they broke apart, he said, "Besides, one of these days, you're going to realize what a catch I am – I even clean toilets."

She giggled, but the giggle turned into a chest-heaving cough. He helped her, supported her, then made sure she was comfortable when the fit was over. "I love you," she exhaled wearily.

"I love you, too, Baby Girl," he promised. "Always. Even when you're gross."

She smiled and closed her eyes, falling asleep with her hand tucked securely in his.

"You're getting stubbly," she teased, reaching up to run her fingertips over his face and head.

Derek grinned. "You need to marry me and make sure I shave," he replied back in the same teasing tone.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Derek – don't move into the guest house."

"Why not?" he asked.

Penelope sighed. "I want you to move into the mansion, that's why. You and the kids. I want you closer than the damn guest house."

"The guest house is just in the backyard," he reminded her with a chuckle.

"I don't care – it's too far away," she sighed. "I'm going home tomorrow, remember?"

"How could I forget?" he teased.

"And I want you there – not the stupid nurse," she muttered. "There's a reason you have power of attorney now. And I want you in the house, not in the guest house."

He hesitated, then smiled. "Good thing I told JJ to start putting our stuff in the big house, right?" he said softly.

She stared at him, then smiled. "Oh, I could just kiss you!" she exclaimed.

"Oh really?" he asked, smirking. This was as feisty and full of life as she'd been in days, and he was more than happy to go along with it. "What about marrying me, then?"

"Stop asking me that," she scolded, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "My answer is still no – just like it's been every day, and sometimes three times a day, for the last week."

"You still haven't told me why you're saying no," he protested, pouting a little. He kissed her again and whispered, "If it's because you have no hair, I will spank you."

"No," she murmured against his lips. "Nothing like that."

"Then why?"

"Because you wouldn't even be here if I wasn't sick – or if Dave hadn't died," she whispered. "And I don't want you to feel like I've trapped you into all of this because I have cancer. I don't want you to pity me and want to marry me and love me because you want me to be happy before I die. I am happy – I'm happy that we've put everything bad aside and that we love each other. Isn't that enough?"

"Is it enough for you?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "For right now, yes," she whispered.

"I'm still going to ask."

"And I'm still going to say no," she murmured.

"Okay," he said. "But this isn't because I pity you in any way, Baby. I'm asking because I love you and I really do want to spend the rest of our lives together."

"I know," she said. She kissed him again and whispered, "I want to give you that – but not till I know for sure there's a rest of a life for me."

He smiled a little. "So, that's a provisional yes?" he asked hopefully.

She rolled her eyes. "That's a no with addendums," she contradicted.

"Which is a provisional yes."

"Stop being so optimistic," she ordered.

"No way – because I need my girl to be okay," he said with a grin. "So we can get married. Because she provisionally said yes and that's enough for me to go buy a ring."

"Don't you dare," she scolded. His only reply was a wink and a tender kiss.

Christina smiled across the bar at Sam and said, "So, my mom's going home tomorrow – and her… boyfriend, I guess you'd call him, maybe? Anyway, Derek wants to know if I'm up for a party this weekend. I mean, I know you're busy and all, but –"

He put a lemondrop down in front of her and said, "I can take a weekend off."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're really going to just let other people handle things for an entire weekend to go meet my family?" she asked skeptically.

"I already know your mom and brother," he replied.

"Yeah, well, I haven't told anyone we're dating," she said.

"We're not really dating so much as feeding each other a hell of a lot of love," Sam said with a wink and a smirk. "Besides, are you scared your mother won't approve?"

"Hell no," Christina replied. "If anything, I'm scared she'll try to steal you for herself."

"Never gonna happen, sweetness," he replied. She loved his blue eyes and cute little cheek dimples – and the sprinkle of freckles across his nose. He was adorable, full of life, and she loved every minute of being with him. "So… when do we leave?"

"Well… tomorrow morning?" she said. "I figured I could always cancel the ticket if –"

He came around the bar and gave her a lazy kiss. "You think too much," he teased. "We're all done for the night – wanna go back to mine?"

"Absolutely. After we go to my place so I can pack and put out the food for the cat," she said firmly.

He grinned at her and said, "You know what?"

"Hmm?"

"It's probably too soon to say 'I love you', isn't it?"

Her smile hurt her cheeks, it was so big. "Never – it's never too soon or too late," she assured him breathlessly. "Do you? Really?"

"I do," he said.

"I love you, too – definitely," she whispered, kissing him with fervor. "So much."

"Good," Sam said, fumbling in his pocket for a moment. "Because I'm going to do something that's really too soon –"

Her eyes widened as he brought out a brown velvet box and opened it. "Chrissy, I –"

She laid her finger across his lips, silencing him. "Yes. You don't even have to ask," she whispered. "Yes, Sam, I will marry you."

She couldn't wait to go home and prove that she wasn't the black sheep, after all. She had a nice guy, good marks in school, a tidy sum of cash at her disposal, and a huge diamond on her finger. Life was good – maybe too good, but she could deal with the fallout later.