Part twenty-two:

When she went downstairs to get some juice to take her pills with, she found the table full of life – Reid and Emily had made breakfast and the kids were having a lively discussion about plans for the holidays in the fall and winter. Christina was telling Derek's kids about the fun everyone always had when they would get up on the ladders to put up the Christmas lights on Thanksgiving night. She was animated and full of smiles, talking about the last time Dave had done it before passing the torch down to them – he had fallen off the roof and landed in Penelope's rose bushes. Needless to say, that had been a hysterical trip to the hospital to pick thorns out of his ass.

It took a moment to realize that there were too many people around the table – and that it was lunchtime, not breakfast. Luca glanced up from his plate and watched her cross the kitchen, and her heart clenched. Had they called him after her breakdown? God, how could she begin to face anyone –

"You hungry?" JJ asked, leaving the table and hovering protectively.

Penelope shook her head. "I'm going to take my meds and go back to bed," she said tiredly. "I don't feel very well."

"Is Derek up yet?" JJ asked.

Penelope shook her head. "He's worn out and it's my fau-"

"Oh, stop it," JJ said firmly. "They told me what happened last night and someone needs to shake you. Shit happens, Penelope. He's tired because he's not a kid anymore and he just moved house in the middle of trying to take care of you. It's not your fault. So stop it. And Luca is here. Don't waste that by going back to bed and avoiding everything, okay? This is your life – and you still have to live it till it's all gone. Right? You've got Derek back, you've got your family here – don't go hiding under a rock again."

Luca spoke up over Christina. "And Mom always goes crazy with the cookies and the candies – and pies. I'm going to miss Mom's peach pie the most."

Penelope looked over at him with tears in her eyes. "There's always FedEx," she said softly. "One of these days, you're going to come back from class and there's going to be a box on your doorstep full of pie and cookies," she promised. "And you're always welcome to come home for the holidays and –"

Luca held up his hand. "You'll have your hands full, Mom," he said firmly. "I can manage on my own, or go to Chicago with Chrissy."

"Who says you're welcome?" Christina ribbed, elbowing him in the ribs. "Or that we'll be there? Sam has family, too, dipshit."

Sam laughed and kissed her cheek. "If it comes down to picking families for the holidays, I prefer yours," he commented. "Especially if someone else is cooking."

"So it's settled, then," Reid spoke up. "It's holidays at the Rossi's again – like it used to be."

Penelope lost her grip on her glass and was out of the room before she heard the juice splashing and the glass shattering on the floor. It wouldn't be like it used to be – that ship had sailed and was never coming back. Hotch and Jack, Dave and the kids – the dynamics were different and god knew she might not even be here long enough to…

She stopped at the foot of the stairs, trapped between the inevitable and everything she had ever wanted, rooted in place, not sure which to reach for. She couldn't keep running. But she couldn't just let it come rushing at her –

"Mom?"

Luca's arms came around her and he pulled her down till she was sitting on the steps with him. They'd had their best, most honest, conversations on these stairs over the years – from the time she'd had to explain to him that borrowing something from his sister without asking was stealing, to the time that he'd had his first birth control scare and he was terrified of becoming a teenaged father.

"Mom, I'm sorry," he said very quietly, resting his head on her shoulder, like he had since he was little. Christina was a daddy's girl – but Luca was softer, more soulfully compassionate like his mother. He was far more fragile than his football scholarship would have anyone believe.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, resting her head against his. "No, Luca, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I've really fucked up –"

"We've both screwed up lately," Luca sighed. "I should've called Chrissy when you were sick. I should've done a lot of things, but I didn't – and you were right to take away my responsibility for your health decisions. I just didn't want to see it. And I resented the hell out of you just giving it to that guy –"

"Derek isn't just 'that guy'," Penelope sighed. "He's your sister's father."

Luca stiffened a little, the confirmation stinging more than he was willing to let on. "I know. Chrissy and I have talked about this stuff." His voice was hollow and a little hurt. "But he really does have your best interests at heart and he's going to help take care of you while I'm gone, right? He's not just going to play nice for the family and then hurt you?"

Penelope sighed. "We've hurt each other enough for one lifetime," she whispered.

"So he's not in it for the money?" Luca asked.

She shook her head. "It's not about money," she exhaled.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because you and Christina are the only ones besides Hotch and myself that have access to the accounts," Penelope said firmly. "Hotch is taking care of the normal bills and I'm handling the day to day expenses in cash. Even if I accepted Derek's proposal and we were to get married, I would still hold the purse strings."

"What about his kids?" Luca asked. "He's not working now, so –"

"I'm handling things," Penelope said. "Like I said – Hotch and I have it covered and if anything pops up, you and Christina will have to okay any special withdrawls."

Luca sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt because some ass from your past decided to take you on a ride, Mom –"

"Little man," she murmured, their private little endearment, "he already took me on a ride once."

"Right, which is why –"

"Which is why you don't trust me now," Derek said from behind them on the stairs. "Can't say I blame you, Luca. It makes me wonder how your mother is so forgiving –"

"Because she's a good person," Luca said.

Penelope held her son tighter and whispered, "I will never forget your father. And my years with him were the happiest of my life. He's the reason you're here, my little man, and I've treated you badly –"

"Mom," Luca sighed, hugging her back, "you shouldn't be so good to me –"

"We all make mistakes," she murmured. "All of us. It's how we recover from them that makes us who we are." She released him and grabbed the banister, struggling to regain her footing. Derek and Luca reached to aid her at the same time, and the younger man ceded his right to his elder with a wary eye. Penelope leaned against Derek for a moment, then said, "Ask me again."

Derek sighed and shook his head. "Silly girl," he scolded gently, "we've got to get you dressed so we can get you to the clinic for your appointment –"

She closed her eyes and sighed. "No, you're right," she agreed.

"Can I take her?" Luca asked. "I've got to pack my stuff later anyway –"

Derek paused for a moment, staring at him. "Are you sure you want to –"

"It's just a scan," Penelope said firmly. "You don't have to go caveman," she said, giving him a soft kiss. "Don't you need to take Sam and Chrissy to the airport anyway?"

He sighed and released her. "If that's what you want –"

"If you'd have asked me again," she murmured as she took a step away from him, "I would have said yes. But now you have to live with no a while longer."

Luca bit back a smirk and said, "You're in the dog house, man."

Derek shook his head and smiled. "Nah," he said. "Not today."

She had lied to Derek – it wasn't just a scan. They had pumped another round of radiation into her and she had collapsed almost immediately after the drugs had hit her system. She was physically wrecked and, god, she was glad that Luca had been there to see the struggle that Derek was having to witness every day.

The scan had been almost clear – her remaining tumors had either shrunk to minimal size or disappeared completely. But a last round over three days would take care of the stragglers – if she could manage to live through the treatment.

They admitted her to the hospital that afternoon, to keep an eye on everything.

Luca sat with her through all of it, till Derek flew through the door and cupped her face anxiously in his hands and kissed her like his life depended on it. "Baby Girl," he whispered, "why didn't you –"

"Ask me," she breathed against his lips.

Luca watched them from the doorway, seeing finally the bond that they shared, the walk through the darkness that they had endured.

"Penelope, will you marry me?" Derek asked, his voice cracking with desperation and an unspoken terror that she couldn't assuage. "Don't – you don't have to answer –"

She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Yes," was the one word that escaped her lips like a peal from a bell.

Derek's shoulders were shaking as the tears, all of the worry, all of the pain that he'd been carrying for so long, began to fall. "Baby, I –"

"I'm okay, stupid," she said fondly. "Stop crying."

"She really is," Luca spoke up. "Her scan was almost clear."

Derek stared at her in wonder. "Really?" he asked, eyes shining with tears.

She nodded. "Just another round and I should be clean," she promised. "But I had a reaction to the drugs and –"

"She collapsed when she tried to get up," Luca said.

"Yeah, there was that," Penelope admitted. "And my kidneys are kicking back already this time. So I'm stuck here till the drugs are done and my kidney function comes back to normal."

He kissed her soundly and pressed his forehead against hers. "That is – last night, you were convinced you were going to die –"

"I wanted to," she breathed. "But not today – not today."

He kissed her forehead, then got up and crossed the room to put his hands on Luca's shoulders. "Thank you," Derek said, his voice low and hoarse with emotion.

"She's my mom," Luca said, as if that explained everything. "Treat her right or I'll –"

"I will," Derek promised. "I will."

There was a moment of disbelief when Derek finally gave her a ring – his eyes were alight with mischief and delight when he saw her flummoxed. "The kids helped me pick it out," he said softly. "All of them."

It was a white gold ring with a large center sapphire. On the left were three small stones that represented Dave's and her children's birth stones, and on the right, three small stones that represented Derek and his kids. Two families with her as the center.

"Oh, Derek –"

"Does it fit?" he asked worriedly. "Baby –"

She didn't even take the ring out of the box. She closed it and kissed him with all of the might inside her. "You silly, sweet man," Penelope exhaled against his lips. "I can't even – I can't thank you –"

"You already have," he breathed, kissing her back. "You've forgiven me. You've given me another chance. You said yes, Baby Girl – that's thanks enough."

She leaned against him and closed her eyes, wishing she was anywhere but a hospital bed. But they were closer to believing that she'd kicked the cancer to the curb than even just a few days ago…

And she was keen to move on.

He took the box and slipped the ring onto her finger. "Perfect," he whispered. "Like it was always supposed to be."

"Nothing is perfect," she murmured. "Not even us."

JJ cleared her throat from the doorway. "Anyone up for visitors?" she asked cheerfully.

Mick burst into the room without waiting for an answer, signing up a storm to his father. "Whoa, buddy, calm down," Derek said with a small smile. "I can barely keep up."

"He had his appointment today," Wanda said.

Penelope straightened up. "What appointment?" she asked.

"Lie down," Derek said firmly, pushing her back onto the bed.

Wanda bit her lip, not wanting to spoil the surprise. Mick looked over at Penelope and smiled, then said, "I'm going to hear again!"

Penelope cocked her head and looked at Derek. "He's going to have the surgery?" she asked.

Derek nodded and said, "I talked to my in-laws and we've worked some things out and –"

"Derek, I would've written a check and –"

"He's my son," Derek said firmly, "and I should've done this a long time ago, Penelope."

Wanda was smiling and had her arm around her brother's shoulders. "We're going to have a party when he comes home from the hospital," she said. "And – and we want you to come, Mrs. Rossi."

Mick grinned over at Penelope. "Mom," he said, correcting his sister. "I want you to come – Mom."

JJ smirked from the doorway and Derek looked like he could have been knocked over by a feather. "I'll do my best," Penelope said softly. Her few days in the hospital had already stretched into two weeks. She wasn't recovering like she should be. But she was determined now – she was going to get out for Mick's party if it was the last thing she did.

Mick nodded and shrugged Wanda off. He came over and gave Penelope a huge hug. "Thank you for talking to him, Mom," he said very quietly.

"I didn't," Penelope whispered.

Mick looked at her curiously. "What?"

"I didn't talk to your dad."

Derek cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. "Luca did," he admitted. "And Christina. And – everyone else."

Penelope ruffled Mick's hair and smiled. "You, kiddo, have a lot of good people on your side," she murmured. "Now, you go get your ear done and I'll be at your party. And then I'm going to marry your father and start planning Thanksgiving."

"Oooh," Mick said, his eyes sparkling. "Dad, can we fry a turkey like we did that one time and –"

"I set the garage on fire," Derek said. "That would be a no."

Penelope giggled. "You set the garage on fire?"

"Dude, it was scary – but cool," Wanda said. "I have video – it's on YouTube."

"I thought you took that down," Derek said, eyes wide with panic.

JJ was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. "Oh. My. God –"

Penelope toyed with her ring and smiled, thinking about all of the traditions they were going to have to mash together to become one big family… And she caught Derek's eye and he smiled back.