Deeks recognised that Hetty Lange was a very special person; intelligence off the charts, a strategic and tactical genius and enough political pull to have nations bend to her will. But he really had to question her sanity sometimes. Or her reasoning. He wasn't entirely sure which one would let him remain the most uninjured. He'll go with sanity, his boss' reasoning was usually sound (twisted and confusing sometimes but still sound) but her sanity could definitely be brought into question. That much other people agreed on. On both sides of the moral line.

So yes, her sanity. Today she seemed to have completely lost it because apparently, she had deemed it their responsibility to top up the safe house's supplies. You know, the food (the perishable kind - obviously), the bottled water, the toilet roll. Though, how the four them had managed to go through a sixteen pack during this brief stay Deeks didn't know. Maybe someone was eating it. His money was on Sam for that one. Probably one of his survival techniques or something. Either way, disturbingly, they were out. And Hetty would not be happy if it remained like that. It was good to keep their boss happy. Happy Hetty meant an untraumatized team. Win-win all around in his opinion.

Which meant that all four of them were here. Outside of a supermarket. Together. At an ungodly time of the morning. Why was this place even open? The sun had basically just risen over the horizon. No one should be conscious at this hour unless it was to catch a good wave. But here they were. And all the lights were on and there were definitely other people in the building. Great.

Deeks looked around at his teammates, none of them looked particularly pleased with this little 'assignment' of theirs. He grimaced at the thought of doing this when no one was in the best of moods. Even better. Why did they have to come here just after a particularly stressful case again? Surely Hetty could see that this was definitely not a good way to unwind? Actually, that was a good question. He decided to voice it.

"Why are we the ones doing this?"

Okay, that came out as a whine but his point still stood. There should be people that did this. Not them.

"Hetty said," Callen unhelpfully supplied.

Though it was true. It wasn't like they were going to tell her no

"We're the ones who used them," Sam said with a shrug, double checking that he had everything on him.

Deeks eyed him suspiciously, not able to remember where that unwieldy gun they'd had with them had gone...

"Does she make everyone who uses a safe house do this?" Deeks persisted.

"Shh, not so loud," Sam said sharply, eyeing their surroundings.

"There's no one here," Deeks needlessly informed him, the parking lot was basically deserted.

"Still need to be careful," Sam said reproachfully.

Deeks rolled his eyes but knew the man had a point and lowered his voice accordingly, "I'm just saying that we've never had to do this before. Ever."

"Look, we're helping Hetty out," Sam replied.

"Hetty's little helpers, " Callen quipped.

Kensi shuddered, "Don't," she scolded Callen. "I'm imagining us in those elf costumes like Eric and Nell's.

Callen scrunched up his nose. "Not a good look."

"Exactly."

"And does it really need all three of us?" Deeks continued his argument. "It's a shopping trip."

"We're team. We do things together."

Deeks gave the older man a sceptical look and folded his arms petulantly. "Not when it's unnecessary like this."

"But we are," Sam said with a tone of finality. Not that Deeks took any heed of it.

"Anyway, we could totally do all of this online and get it done in record time. No need to even be here."

"And have outsiders know the address. Yes, because that's smart."

"They wouldn't know what it is-"

A shrill whistle broke up their bickering. Wincing, the two of them turned to the sound. Deeks noticed, with some annoyance, that Callen didn't appear to be fazed by said noise that was coming from his partner. Speaking of his partner, Deeks shot Kensi a sheepish look. She didn't look amused. Actually, she looked less than unamused, which was annoyed. An annoyed Kensi was not a good thing. Or one that he wanted to deal with in a supermarket. Far too many possible projectiles or things that could be used as weapons. Thank God that this wasn't a Walmart.

Kensi gave the three of them a look and raised an eyebrow, placing her hands in her hips. Deeks felt himself gulp. That look was never a good thing coming from his partner.

"We're going to need a cart."

Oh. Deeks blinked. He had been expecting something a lot more... volatile than that. He took a glance at the shopping list she had been entrusted with.

They really were going to need a cart.

[xxxxxx]

Callen just stared at the scene in front of him and resisted the urge to rub at his eyes to see if it was real. Because, really? They were highly specialised and professionally trained special agents for a guarded part of the US government and this is what happens when they are all left alone? He couldn't have been more than two minutes. Three tops. Certainly not enough time for something like this to happen. But obviously, he'd underestimated this team. Quite frankly, a dangerous thing to do. You'd think after all these years he'd know that but apparently not. Not that all the experience in the world with these three could have prepared anyone for this. Except maybe Hetty. Yes, Hetty would be prepared for a scenario like this but Callen didn't think that the team would do this with Hetty present. Oh, who was he kidding? This was his team after all. They'd probably act this way in front of the Director.

"Why." He paused to gather his thoughts and hopefully make them a bit more coherent. "Is Kensi in the cart?"

Because she was. In the cart that is and glaring and or pouting at everyone. What on earth had happened between him using the restroom and now?

"Kensi's not playing well with others," her partner helpfully supplied, notably not standing near aforementioned cart.

Kensi made a huffing noise and her glare got deeper. Callen raised an eyebrow at her, an explanation would be nice.

"That pair of sunglasses should have been mine," she declared.

Still not entirely cleaning things up but he would take it. He didn't really want to hear more after that. Or become complicit in a case for possible assault which, knowing his female co-worker, was very much possible.

"You didn't need to go all ninja on that woman," Deeks scolded in a way only he could when it came to her.

"I did not."

"You were going to!"

"You stopped me."

"Exactly!"

Ignoring his younger teammates pretty normal banter by their standards, Callen to turned to his partner.

"She didn't even get them," Sam confided to him.

"Really?" Callen asked, turning back to Kensi with yet another raised eyebrow.

She flopped herself against the walls of the cart, producing an alarming clattering noise, her glare definitely turning into a pout.

"Deeks stopped me."

"I stopped possible criminal charges," Deeks corrected.

Oh, he really wanted to know what happened now. Especially since Kensi appeared unconcerned by what Deeks just stated.

"I liked them."

"There'll be other sunglasses."

Callen didn't think that Kensi looked particularly convinced on that front. But she slumped her shoulders and poked her bottom lip out further. Callen eisteddfod the urge to pat her on the head. That was pretty much a sure-fire way of losing a finger. Or a hand.

"Not those ones though."

Deeks just rolled his eyes and decided not to answer.

"So, you've been banished to the cart then?" Callen queried, shaking his head in amusement at the two of them.

Kensi gave him an unamused look but he just smirked at her. It was always fun teasing her.

"At least I don't have to walk," she pronounced.

He quirked an eyebrow up (yes, again). "That the best you can do?"

Her eyes narrowed. The effect was somewhat ruined by, you know, sitting in a cart.

"Why don't you get into the cart, G," Sam suggested in a teasing tone.

The Team Lead shot his partner a dark look that would have weaker (and probably wiser) men scuttling off under a rock. Not Sam Hanna of course, the man lived to wind up his partner. Probably the only person who was able to get away with it too. Callen thought for a moment. Okay, technically, the man was one of a few but he was really the only one who'd dare do it. Hetty would have been a second person but this sort of teasing wasn't really her thing. No, he teasing was far more subtle. And annoying. But that was beside the point. The point was that Callen did not like the look of the glint in his partner's eyes.

He decided to listen to all of his screaming instincts and started to back away slowly. He really should have run because all Sam had to do was lunge forwards to grab him. Which he did with irritating ease. Sam then hefted him up and dumped him in the cart next to Kensi.

"Hey!" he protested loudly as he felt his feet leave the ground.

Dangling like a child in mid-air was not his idea of a good time. Neither was getting thrown into a metal cage contraption on wheels. Kensi chuckled from beside him, her knees pressing uncomfortably into his side. There wasn't enough room for the two of them in here.

"Comfy?" Deeks asked cheekily.

Callen glared at him but Deeks paid him no mind. It probably wasn't as effective when he was sitting in a damned cart. He folded his arms and huffed loudly.

"You look like an overgrown toddler, G," Sam informed him.

"He even looks like he's going to throw a tantrum," Deeks not-so-helpfully added.

Callen did not appreciate the comparison and it look like the glare that he directed at Deeps told the man so. If the recoil he did was anything to go by. Kensi shot her partner a warning look.

"I'll give you tantrum," Callen muttered dangerously, garnering their little group some odd looks from the other shoppers.

He glared at them, making them scurry away. Good. They were no roadside attraction. He hugged loudly and leaned back in the cart, debating on whether he could up end it without harming himself and Kensi.

[xxxxxx]

Noticing the look in his team lead's eyes and seeing that Sam was going to do nothing to calm him down, Deeks decided to take it upon himself to try and diffuse the situation. He clapped his hands to try and get their attention. Which worked but none of the agents looked too impressed with him. He ignored the dirty looks.

"So, what's first?" he asked.

"Milk," Kensi said, looking at the list.

"The toilet roll is here," Deeks said, gesturing up the aisle they were in. It was at the end, along the wall.

Sam shook his head. "Nah, it's closest to the tills. Get it last so we're not pointlessly going back and forth."

"But it's right there," Deeks pointed out. They may as well grab it.

"Tactics, Deeks," Sam replied, grabbing the handlebars of the cart and turning it away from the toilet roll.

"We're grocery shopping, not on some mission," Deeks pointed out.

"Tactics means that we're more efficient," Sam replied, walking off with a very annoyed Callen resting against the side with the handlebars. Deeks looked longingly back at the toilet roll. It was right there.

"But-" he tried to argue, because gosh darn it he was right.

"I think the shower wash and soap is down one of the end aisles," Sam said, immediately shooting him down, walking purposefully in the direction of said items.

Right. Toilet roll later then.

He gave it one last shot though, never say that Martin Deeks wasn't persistent. "They're right there..."