A/N: So, here we go. Stuff. Junk. Anyway, this shouldn't have taken this long. However, I got hit by a car. I made the local paper. Their online article had people freaking out. It amused me greatly that people want to dispute the fact I was on my bike, but facts are facts. I was halfway through a crosswalk and got clipped. In short, if this is weird or something seems weird with this chapter you have my deepest apologies. I can't sit for very long due to having landed on the right side of my body after sailing through the air, and I'm all doped up on percocet just to get through the day. It's kind of amusing. But probably only to me. Okay. Here we go. Also, I realized that I'm terrible with disclaimers. Come on now...It's not mine. We all know this. Otherwise it wouldn't be FANfiction :D

The kiss wasn't planned. I hadn't meant for it, but my body took over before conscious thought caught up. Edward froze in my grasp, his body going rigid as my lips pressed harder. When it hit me that what I was doing wasn't what I had meant, I was already opening my mouth against his. I held still for a moment, ready to pull away, when I felt his hands slide up the back of my arms and grip my shoulders.

His lips parted tentatively, not quite reciprocating, but at least it was some kind of redemption to the horror playing across my thoughts.

My forehead pressed against his, breath almost ragged in the freezing air. Before I could apologize, he murmured, "You're fucked up right now, aren't you? More than you were letting on. Fucking bastard, I should have known better..."

The half-hearted laugh I let out surprised even myself. His skin was cold to the touch. "I think we better get that fire going before we freeze to death."

I released Edward from my grip and he did the same, following me back into the barn. We stood in silence as I slid the door closed, ignoring the shiver working its way down my spine. He glanced around and without warning clapped his hands together, placing his palms to the dirt floor. Amidst the glow, a circle about three feet in diameter and three or four inches high appeared. I watched him eye the rest of the barn and he walked casually towards one of the piles of broken boards and planks. His hands worked their magic and within moments he dropped a small bundle of alchemized logs into the middle, staring at me expectantly.

I smiled a little and without being prompted, snapped my fingers. The flames erupted and the blaze died to a small fire within the ring.

"Good to know that even as wasted as you are, you're still able to control it." He snorted, shaking his head.

I studied him for a moment before shrugging. What was I supposed to say?

Edward sat at the edge of the fire, pulling his legs up. His chin rested on his knees, staring blankly into the dancing flames. I inhaled deeply, feeling brave. I sat not quite behind him, but off to the side kicking my right leg out while my left remained folded against me and his lower back, resting my chin on his shoulder.

He glanced at me, the confusion beyond evident in his features. I hated the way he almost looked distrustful. "I didn't expect you to mean anything intimate with what you said to me, you know," He spoke slowly, "and it's really unfair of you to provoke things that I'd long since buried."

I frowned at that. "I'm not sure what you mean."

He sighed, the exhale harsh. "I had it bad for you. For quite a few years, I might add. Like I said earlier, you're a fucking bastard and you're drunk. Hell, I'm drunk. Should have known better than to trust you, Mustang."

"I'm not doing this because I'm drunk," I replied.

"Really," He drawled, the roll of his eyes evident in his tone. "You just suddenly decided to indulge me in your homoerotic tendencies and then act on them? Very professional. I thought maybe your paternal instincts were taking over earlier. Then you went and molested me."

I chuckled, burying my nose in his neck. "Yet you haven't pushed me away or told me to fuck off. How noble of you."

"Fuck you."

Edward sighed again, and I could feel him hugging his legs tighter. "You used to make me so insecure, I never once thought you gave a shit beyond the responsibility of being my superior. Al had to talk me down so many times from wanting to smash your face into that neatly organized desk. The thought of all that paperwork flying everywhere was extremely satisfying, by the way."

"You're not the only one with a broken soul. Is it really so hard to imagine other people in pain? That others can't suffer, overcome and move on? You talk like I could never have an emotional response to you. It's hard not to, especially when you suffer in such obvious silence."

"Then tell me," Edward growled, "what changed in the last few hours that makes you think you can do this? Because I don't play games, Mustang. So if this is just your way of licking your own wounds than you can fuck off. I've had enough of letting someone else's pain take priority over my own."

I ran my hand down his automail arm, gently interlacing our fingers. I could feel his heart rate skyrocket. "It wasn't the last few hours, Edward. Something broke when you disappeared. The only reason I was back in Central was because of Alphonse. In fact, the only reason I gained my status as General was also because of your brother. Things don't always go as planned, and then you showed up out of nowhere bloody and broken as usual."

Edward was quiet now, save for the short breaths. I could tell he was trying to maintain his composure. It was strange how I missed his impulsive, emotional outbursts at times like these. At least I wasn't left guessing what was on his mind.

"Al's kinda told me about it, or at least what he knew. It didn't make a whole lot of sense at the time to me, so I accepted it. He was determined to find me, and you were one of the few who could have helped him in any way. I'm grateful you came back to help him."

Edward leaned back against me a little, the tension fading just enough. The fire crackled and popped in front of us, shadows dancing along the walls. I bravely snuck my left arm around his waist. He tensed briefly, shooting me a shy, wide-eyed glance as a light blush assaulted his cheeks. I tried my best not to smile into his shoulder. I found it hard to admit to myself I actually missed his behavior from former years. It was harder yet to realize I could coax it out of him with just enough prodding.

I wasn't sure how long we sat like that, just silence between us and the slow burn in front of us. Edward hummed softly, letting more of his weight fall against me. "I don't know if I can do this," He whispered, "I can't give everything to you, and I won't. We'll probably fight a lot because of it. There are things I won't compromise on, and I know that it will be the same for you. We have always butted heads on the stupidest shit, but I won't give in when I don't need to."

"Most of that is because you unfortunately still have to report to me. A lot of those issues could be resolved if you didn't renew your contract with the State. However, that is a decision for you to make on your own. Do you feel as though you aren't capable to separate the professional aspect from personal?"

"Is that a fucking joke, Mustang? The two have been one in the same since I earned my title as State Alchemist. I've never had to separate the two, without one, there was no reason for the other. Things were easier back then. Find the stone, fix Al, myself if possible, and drop this gig like a bad habit. Next thing I know, I'm twenty-fucking-four and still a lapdog. So was Al, no thanks to you." Edward sounded almost bitter about it.

I resisted the urge to point out it was Alphonse's choice to renew his contract. The issue was pointless to press further, Al had been out of the military for almost two years now. Instead, I murmured, "It was the only way he could get the means to find you. He rather enjoyed being referred to as the Soul-Bound Alchemist. You two have reached a level of celebrity that I don't think anyone imagined possible."

Edward snorted, a short laugh escaping him. "I'm surprised I wasn't kicked out before I went through the gate. More surprised they bought my 'I was held prisoner and don't know where or by who for two whole years.' I sure as fuck was not going to tell them what really happened."

"Even if you're vague on the details, I'm glad you at least came clean with where you were."

Edward smiled sadly, eyes shut tightly. "Selig sind, die da Leid Tragen. Die mit Tranen Saen, werden mit Dreuden ernten," He whispered, tears brimming his lashes. "Denn alles Fleisch, es ist wie Gras. So seid nun geuldig, denn alles Fleisch, es ist wie Gras... Ich hoffe auf dich, denn wir haben hie kiene bleibende Statt."

He was only silent for a few moments before clearing his throat. "Sometimes I can't remember how to speak German. When it finally resurfaces, it is always those lines."

"What does it mean?"

Edward took a shaky breath, replying, "'Blessed are they who bear suffering. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. For all flesh, it as grass. So be patient, for all flesh, it is as grass. My hope is in you, for here we have no lasting place.' It's the saddest shit I've ever heard in my life. I cried in public at a damn concert hall during a performance of this German requiem by a composer that had been dead for quite some time. It was about the death of his mother and a close friend. The music, composition... Just everything about it was amazing. Sometimes I forget how the music went, but it does come back to me every once in a while."

I was taken aback when he started humming again. I would never have guessed he was capable of anything musical. Gently, I nosed the back of his neck. I inhaled deeply, listening as his humming turned to softly sung words. It soothed the harsh consonants compared to the spoken words. The words and his tone made me ache in a way that just didn't compare to his pain.

I pressed light kisses to the nape of his neck, ultimately distracting him in the end. He cleared his throat as his shoulders started to hunch. "No need to be shy." I whispered, my breath hot against his cold ear. I felt him shudder from head to toe. I continued to line his neck and jaw with kisses until he finally kicked a leg out, scooting himself so his right shoulder was against my chest.

"I swear, you're the only person who can embarrass me like this." He stated it almost defiantly. "It's awful."

I chuckled as he arranged himself against me. "You say that, but then you sidle up like this and I'm not inclined to believe you."

"I can't stand when my shoulder aches like it is. My leg is different, I've got enough layers to keep it warm."

I knew he was truly in pain if he was verbalizing it. Teasing him further, even playfully, would be just mean. Instead of saying anything, I pulled the hood of his coat up and over his head. Edward froze for a moment, then shook the hood back to glare at me. "You should consider getting some sleep, tomorrow is going to be rough and we won't have anything to eat until we get to the train station."

"What about you?"

"If I were tired I'd be curled up already."

"Tch, you're a voyeur and a creep. I can't sleep when my back feels like it's in a vice grip. It is damn near impossible without pain killers and I hate taking those. They fuck me up too much. Can't afford to be in a drug induced coma for eight hours until it wears off."

"A voyeur? Honestly, I'm not sure if I qualify for that right now. You're unfortunately still fully clothed." The retort was gentle and obvious teasing, and I was glad it was received the way I meant it.

Edward smiled, burying his face in my chest. "I'm sure I can rectify that as soon as we aren't at risk for freezing to death. I'm not up for getting frostbite tonight, sorry."

"Can I make a request?" I asked.

Edward pulled away enough to glance at me curiously. "I won't guarantee I'll grant it until I hear it."

It was hard to keep a straight face as I replied, "My only request is that if you decide to lounge around naked, I'd like for you to smoke a cigarette and maybe cross and uncross your legs for me?"

His eyes widened with fear briefly and then he burst out laughing. "You had better be fucking kidding. There's no way I'm doing that!" He gripped the front of my coat hard enough that I was sure it was the only way he kept from rolling on the ground.

"Which part? If it's the cigarette, we can work with that. It doesn't even have to be lit."

"Fuck, Mustang, seriously? Am I even getting paid for it?"

It was my turn to laugh. He actually sounded serious about being paid.

I thought for a moment before replying, "Can I pay you with food?"

"Be prepared to pay up in hundreds of pounds of meat. I'm not cheap, you know. In fact, I don't think I should lower my standards to your boring cigarette fetish!"

He had me laughing again. I cupped his cheek in my right hand lifting enough so his eyes would meet mine. "It's not about the cigarette. It's about you, just flesh and steel. I appreciate the finer things in life, Edward."

Edward's face flushed, and he quickly jerked his hood back up. "You mentioned I should sleep, right? I think I'll be doing that now."

"Ah, going to play coy and innocent?"

"Nope, just not gonna discuss this in subzero temperatures. Frostbite, remember?" He mumbled.

I smiled, resting my cheek on the top of his head. It was going to be a long night.

.

..

...

When the first hints of dawn broke through the window, I wanted to curse the dull gray haze. Edward had fallen asleep a couple of hours ago, a warm contrast as the fire died. I tilted his head back, carefully examining his face. His lips were pale, at least there was that. I shivered as the chill settled on my neck again. I dropped my head slightly, brushing my lips against his.

His eyes shot open, dazed and confused. Only after blinking a few more times did he seem to realize where he was. "Creep." He muttered, turning his face away from the dawn streaming in. "Couldn't let me sleep a little longer? Or was it your perverted impulse again?"

"I could have, but the fire has gone out and we should really get to the station as soon as possible. I don't want to be in this weather any longer than necessary."

Edward pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his face with both hands dramatically. "Pretty sure I'm still drunk."

"I know," I chuckled. "you're not the only one."

"Hey, I've got a really great idea," Edward interrupted. "How about we get our asses in gear and sleep on the fucking train."

I shook my head snorting. It was difficult for either of us to hide the grin we both wore.

.

..

...

"I'm nervous..."

"You really shouldn't be, you seem like you already know what's coming."

Edward sighed melodramatically. "I am not ready to be called 'Uncle Ed.' He better be telling me they're engaged. Or that someone's dying."

"You'd rather find out someone is on their deathbed than find out your precious brother is going to be father?" I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

He shrugged. "It's disturbing to think of my intellectual brother giving into his basic human needs for that wrench-weilding demon. Can you imagine her with more unpredictable, raging hormones? I won't be able to hit her back when I get my upgrades or if I need something fixed."

I was tempted to play psychologist to him, point out that maybe his insecurity was due to the loss of the relationship with Ilyich and his sons. I wasn't heartless though. Edward was most likely already aware of it. He was too pigheaded to admit it out loud. Too proud to show a weakness for something as simple and innocent as children.

Edward watched the scenery fly by through the window and traced circles I couldn't see on the glass. "You're thinking so loud, I can almost hear you."

Edward grinned at me. "Ahh, just realized we drank my gift to them. Or at least, Al's gift. It's not important, though. If it were, it wouldn't have been drunk in the first place. Still surprised you didn't hit me."

"Depending on preference and culture, that would have been a precursor to foreplay and sex."

"Do you always have to say shit like that? It doesn't make you sound educated, you just sound like a creepy, old pervert!" Edward muttered loudly.

I leaned over, breath hot against his ear. "You don't mind, quit acting like it matters."

He turned, putting himself within distance of my lips. He froze, analyzing me carefully. "Depending on preference and culture, it could be a precursor to foreplay and sex." As he spoke, his lips were almost brushing against mine. Our eyes locked in a brief moment of understanding and without warning he promptly turned back to the window.

It was definitely going to be a grueling train ride now.

By the time the cab dropped us off at my house, it was already mid evening once more. The moment we were in the door, Edward was peeling off his military coat and boots, tossing them more towards the general direction of the foyer. He had already untucked his thermal sweatshirt and undershirt, yawning loudly by the time I was getting my own boots off.

"Bed...Please tell me you're human enough you have a comfy bed?" Edward's eyes were starting to droop, dangerously close to the edge of falling asleep on his feet.

I held onto his shoulders, leading him down the hall. When we reached the bedroom, he flopped down on top of the comforter. He groaned and yanked a pillow under his head, burying his face in it.

I circled around to the left side of the bed and sat on the edge, shedding the rest of my clothes. I left the undershirt and my boxers on, sliding underneath the blanket. Edward stared at me through one eye that was barely open. He mumbled something, but it was muffled by the pillow.

"Hmm?"

"I said, you better let me sleep this time, you pervert!" Edward groaned, making me laugh a little.

I reached over, sliding a hand through his hair. "You don't have to sleep on top of the blanket. We're both adults, just because we're in the same bed doesn't mean we can't just sleep."

Edward groaned in response. "Too fuckin' sore to move anymore. Sleeping outdoors when it's this cold was a horrible idea..."

"No, the horrible idea was picking a fight with locals and having to run for our lives." I reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," He chuckled, "there's also that. I'm two for two then on terrible fucking ideas."

"Seriously, Ed, you'll be more comfortable if you get underneath the covers. You don't even look warm."

He shot me an annoyed glance, but sat up anyway. His hair stuck up in various directions, though he didn't seem to notice. After tugging off his socks and the military issued trousers, I noticed he was messing with something on his left leg. A sound of annoyance escaped him, and then he sighed. "Should have just cut this shit off..." He mumbled, clapping his hands together. I wasn't quite sure what he had messed with.

Edward shucked the thermal shirt , leaving him in just a tank top and his shorts. Finally he crawled underneath, groaning again.

"Roll over," I coaxed him, nudging with knee and foot. His eyes told me he was only going to be compliant with my requests for so long and then snap. Reluctantly, he rolled over onto his left side. I gently placed my hands on his lower back, pressing and kneading up his spine. I met resistance at first, which I expected. A few spots around the port made him jerk unexpectedly with a hiss of pain. I worked them as best I could before he started to relax.

Hesitantly, I pulled myself closer, draping an arm over his side. Not even the cool touch of automail could prevent me from being comfortable. Edward wasn't asleep yet, stiffening as I settled in behind him. He turned a little, eyeing me suspiciously before turning in my arms to face me. "Can't lay on that side, it goes numb." He mumbled.

I closed my eyes, exhaling slowly. I felt him run his fingertips along the back of my arm and over my shoulder blades. I was tempted to tease him, it was hard to resist. Instead, I fell into the sensation and found it lulling me to sleep faster.

There will most likely be some delightfully explicit scenes in the next chapter. Also. Thank you to those who have reviewed and messaged me :D it causes warm tinglies in my girly parts. Thanks for reading, it also makes me warm and fuzzy on my insides.