A/N: I am sooooooo so so so so so incredibly sorry that this is ridiculously behind schedule. Life decided to become ultra ridiculous, and I was in a funk and that in turn crushed any desire to write more than a few sentences at a time...However, since I was/am writing this slowly, I hope that the chapters I updated between my two stories are longer to make up for the lack of updating. But either way, I am ashamed -hides in corner-

Aaaaand as usual, I claim nothing. Only the perverted fantasy of a bored dog groomer who has too much time to think about these things ;;. (but apparently not enough time to write them haaa...ahhh this sucks...I'm sorry!)

"So," I murmured into the kiss, "what prompts staying all neat and trimmed?" I let my hand wander past his navel, pleased at the tense of muscles as I scraped my nails lightly against the scant hair that remained.

He blushed, burying his face in my shoulder. "It just bothers me. I don't mind body hair on others, though. Just myself. Al used to tell me I was being narcisistic."

I snorted softly into his neckline, trailing my hand lower. Edward gasped as I ran my forefinger across the tip of his cock. "Never would have guessed you were circumcised, either. You're full of surprises, Edward Elric. Tell me more about this Xingese body modification. I'm dying to know."

He groaned and shuddered as I cupped him gently, palming him. "Fuck, you're such an asshole, Mustang." He whispered harshly. Steadily he was becoming tumulscent beneath my palm. "There's actually a really funny story behind that. The idea was Ling's in the first place. I was still trying to figure out why being with women was incredibly unsatisfying."

"How long ago was that?" I asked in earnest.

Edward shrugged, sighing. "Four years ago. Shoulda seen the look on his face when it started bleeding. Looked like someone butchered a calf in his fancy little sex room. Prissy little fuck had it coming, though." He laughed. "He doesn't handle blood very well, I found out. Half way through the incision he started freaking out and I remember I yelled 'Fuck it!' and kept going."

"And the circumcision?"

"Was done when I was born. Dad said it was for hygenic purposes. Had it done to Al, too. It wasn't til I was trapped in the other side of the gate that I realized where he had gotten the idea."

"Common practice, I assume?"

Edward leaned back again, eyes closed as he nodded. A tired sigh escaped his parted lips when he looked up at me. "I swear, nobody makes me more self conscious than you do. I don't understand how you manage it. It's embarrassing."

I smirked and left a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'm not even trying, I promise. I'm just curious, I did not expect you of all people to have these kinds of surprises. It's quite erotic."

"Oh, shut the fuck up! Not trying, my ass!" He exclaimed quietly, lips fighting the tug of a smile. "You're quite the fucking pervert yourself! A dirty, old man! Lured me up here, along with Al, under the false pretense of an automail massage and then you end up sticking my dick half way down your gullet."

I dropped my forehead against his in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. The laughter caught in my throat when Edward bravely brushed his fingertips against the front of my pants.

"You're still hard," He whispered in my ear, "and I could use some help getting a shower." His palm pressed harder in emphasis.

After helping Edward wiggle into boxers and getting down the stairs, we met Alphonse exiting the bathroom.

Of course, he had that damn smirk again. His eyes shined mischievously as they swept down his brother's body. "Careful of the noise level, boys. The lady and I are heading to bed soon. The only part of the house that's been sound-proofed is the shop."

Ed muttered something at his brother along the lines of "shut the fuck up," and Alphonse slipped past us silently with the same grin.

I gently closed the door behind us, sliding the lock into place for good measure. Edward balanced himself against the sink, watching me curiously for a moment before staring at the floor with feigned interest.

"You look as though you have something on your mind." I stated quietly.

He shrugged, smiling a little. "I suppose you could say that. I'm just trying to process this situation. Trying to reassure myself we didn't freeze to death in that barn and that this isn't my own personal hell."

"I didn't think the last couple days were THAT bad. Give me some credit here, will you?" I teased in response.

He laughed a little, shaking his head. "Right now is fine, actually. I'm just waiting for the scales to tip. Nothing good ever comes my way, and when it does it never seems to stay. Things always seem to get fucked up somehow, whether it is my fault or not."

I stepped over to him, embracing him tightly. "I told you, I'm going to do whatever you need me to. This is on your terms, Ed. If you need space, I will give it to you. If you start pushing away, I want you to be sure that you're positive you want to let go."

He leaned into the embrace, arms wrapping around my waist. I took the opportunity to hoist him onto the counter top, grinding my hips against his with obvious intentions. He gasped quietly, then hooked his leg behind mine to draw us closer yet.

Edward drew his hands to the front of my chest, his breathing slightly labored when he looked up at me. "I don't want this to just be physical, Mustang."

Part of my brain fractured between persuading him otherwise and just taking what I wanted. The mature, rational portion made me take a step back.

Edward sighed. "I have wanted this for so long, it's like I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a fucking virgin again."

I smiled at him, finding the admission endearing. "We don't have to rush any of this. Your pace, remember? You don't need feel obligated to act a certain way or do anything."

Edward glanced away, blushing ever so slightly. "This is honestly the first time I've ever let things move this fast. I put Ilych through four months of what was basically abstinence."

"Hmmm, should I feel honored?" I teased.

Edward rolled his eyes at me. "Get a grip, General."

"With pleasure," I grinned.

Edward's eyes widened as a pushed my hand between us, harshly palming him. A cold set of fingers gripped the back of my neck, pulling me closer. "Shower, Roy. Shower." He moaned softly, his breath hitched.

Was it wrong to enjoy this as much as I did? I had wanted him for so long, wondered how he would taste and feel beneath me. Right down to the moans and cries from the way my hands would slide over his body.

It was strange to suddenly realize that this was real. Very frighteningly real. I kissed his half-parted lips and slid him off the counter, bravely pushing his boxers down once more. He smiled at me, but it wasn't out of humor. His hands made quick work of my slacks and when the material dropped to the floor, I almost held my breath.

Edward's fingers traced lines down the curve of my hip. When he ran his finger along the underside of my erection, I shuddered.

. .. ...

The next twenty minutes were a blur of hot water, groping and soap lather. I was taken by surprise by the two piles of clean laundry and a note from Alphonse. It stated that he set up the recovery room for Edward to sleep in tonight.

It was more the fact I had locked the door that bothered me. At what point had he managed to slip in to deposit towels and sleep clothes, then slip away?

I startled Edward when I began to dry him off. He wobbled, gripping the edge of the counter. A few grunts of protest later, I helped him into the bed. Sitting in the edge of the bed, I laid my hand on his knee.

"Will you be okay by yourself or should I stay?"

Edward smiled a little, scratching the side if his head. "It would be nice if you stayed."

I waited until Edward fully relaxed into my chest, finally asleep, before slipping out of the bed. I watched him shift onto his back, appearing so much more vulnerable than if he'd been awake. His right hand curled into a fist momentarily and I could almost feel his breath catch. I hesitated only for a moment, then leaned over him. I gently placed a chaste kiss to his forehead.

Edward's expression went from relaxed to pained. It was only a flash and faded just as quick as it appeared. I chewed my lip in debate of crawling back in beside him, but resisted. I wasn't tired and I knew that the longer I laid there awake I would be tempted to get a little more 'hands-on.'

My feet barely made a sound on the cool concrete as I maneuvered through the unlit shop. As I approached the hallway leading to the kitchen on the left and dining area to the right, I could hear running water accompanied by the distinct clink of dishes.

I peered around the corner, watching Alphonse slump against the sink. He looked exhausted with his shaggy hair sticking up. In the soft lighting, I could pick out hints of red in the bronze.

I cleared my throat, smiling a little when he jumped in surprise. "Still unable to sleep through the night?" I asked, stepping fully into the kitchen.

Alphonse chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "Sometimes it's hard to shut my brain down. Too many theories and ideas-not enough time. Sleeping tends to become unnecessary once I get started."

I picked up a sheet of paper from the table, examining the careful drafts of what was most definitely not a transmutation circle.

"It looks like a modified car engine." I muttered.

"If I could get enough materials, it would be an engine larger than a car. Problem with that is I don't have the materials to build the shell for it." Alphonse tossed a leatherbound book onto the table. I flipped it open, unsure of what I was really looking at.

The question must have been written on my face when I glanced up at him.

"If I get the fuel mixture right, it would...it would hopefully..." He paused, chewing his lip. "Hopefully reach the stars."

The very notion was astounding. "This is impressive, Alphonse. Have you shown these to Edward?"

As the words drifted off my lips, his expression when from elated to blank.

Scratch that. His eyes held something more.

Definitely fear.

I closed the sketch book gently. When I raised my eyes, he was intently staring at his feet, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Any particular reason you haven't shown these to him?"

He shook his head, but it was barely an acknowledgement of my question. "It's complicated, Roy. If I show these to him, it might upset him."

I frowned, clearly not understanding the problem. "I doubt that. We both know he would be happy. Just because he is a self-proclaimed genius with alchemy doesn't mean he would take offense to your concept."

"It isn't that simple."

"Then simplify it for me. Obviously I don't understand the issue."

Again, he shook his head. "I can't."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Aren't you two a little old for sibling rivalry?"

Alphonse let out a mirthless laugh. "We certainly are, but that isn't what this is about."

"Cut the act, Alphonse." I said shortly.

He shrugged, eyes narrowed with frustration. "It isn't an act."

Stubbornness was obviously an Elric trait.

"This is ridiculous, Alphonse."

He glanced away and tightened his arms around himself, eyes squeezing shut. "I don't know how to bring it up. This is about more than just me. It involves someone he cared about deeply and I don't want to set him on another downward spiral. He has enough on his plate without me dragging out what he has tried so hard to overcome."

It occurred to me then that I wasn't going to get enough of the truth from Alphonse. At least not like this, badgering him without any fact or basis.

Alphonse cleared his throat and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. "I don't want to talk about my brother if he isn't present. I don't believe in speaking about people when they can't defend themselves."

My mouth opened, yet no words came forth. Something about this didn't sit right. He was deliberately stalling the conversation, yet I didn't see why. Alphonse didn't wait for me to speak, choosing to step forward and gather the sheets of paper and sketch book off the table. He didn't bother to look at me when he slipped by me, exiting the kitchen.

After a few minutes of thought that went nowhere, I decided to crawl back into bed with Edward. I stared at him for awhile, watching his chest rise and fall. I was again caught up in wondering just what had happened between the brothers these last few years. It wasn't as though they were living their own lives. Everything seemed forced and awkward, but why?

I exhaled sharply and closed my eyes.

I couldn't be sure of how long I had been asleep. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to realize Edward was gone. Normally, I was not a heavy sleeper. Trained from day one to wake at any odd movement or sound, I felt anxious that he had managed to slip by me unnocticed.

Still groggy and honestly not very aware, I sat up. Must not have been asleep for more than a few hours, my head was pounding with insistence that I lie back down and drift off. Had it not been for the odd clank and sounds of movement in the shop, I would have given in. Curiosity genuinely piqued, I slid off the bed. The door was slightly ajar, letting in the barest hint of lighting throw shadows around.

When I opened it and stepped around the corner, I was stopped dead in my tracks by what I saw.

Edward was sitting upright on the surgery bed, leg reattached, with Alphonse sitting across from him. The way Alphonse sat in between Edward's legs with his own on either side of his brother suggested more than I could comprehend. The hushed tone of Edward's voice left my heart pounding.

I couldn't understand what they were saying to each other.

My blood ran cold when Alphonse ran both hands through Edward's hair, leaning forward and whispering against his lips.

"I miss the cold nights in Munich."

Whatever he had whispered made Edward smile sadly, reaching up and grasping Alphonse's wrist in his left hand.

"We can't," Edward replied. "Not like this."

The consonants sounded rough, but familiar. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears, and I was frozed where I stood. Alphonse closed what slight distance remained, and I watched in horror as the kiss went from chaste to intimate in a matter of seconds. Edward's hands immediately went to his brother's shoulders, gently urging him back. His eyes closed tightly and he rested his forehead against the back of his right hand, still clutching Alphonse's shoulder.

"Al," He pleaded. "Come back."

Alphonse stiffened for a moment, looking irritated and hurt. "This body is only a vessel, Edward."

He grabbed Edward's chin, lifting so they were eye to eye once more. They sat like that for a few minutes in silence until Alphonse shifted slightly, then rested his head on Edward's left shoulder. Edward ran his hands down his brother's back, drawing him closer. Alphonse gasped slightly, pushing his hips against Edward in a way that made my stomach turn. I physically cringed as he gripped the back of Edward's head, letting out a pained noise.

"God, I hate this," He whimpered.

Edward's hands fisted in Al's shirt. "We can't stay like this. If Winry catches us again, she really will beat me to a bloody pulp."

"I know." Alphonse sounded desperate.

"Seriously, Al, we have to move before-"

"Before what?" I asked loudly. Both the boys jumped in surprise. My legs shook as I forced myself to walk forward. They seemed frozen in place, barely breathing, while I strode past them and through the shop door.

I stumbled my way throughout the house, suddenly realizing I was outside in the porch. My head was throbbing and I wasn't entirely sure of how even my breathing was. My stomach felt like it was in my throat. I tried to swallow as my vision blurred and all sound seemed to disappear.

It wasn't until a tentative hand grasped my arm that I snapped out of my daze, jerking away.

"Wait, please!" The begging tone helped the crash back into reality. I turned around slowly, knowing that if Edward's tone was that helpless and pitiful, this wasn't going to be good. His eyes were wide with fear and what I suspected, and hoped, was shame. "Please, I just... This isn't what you think!"

I snorted, shaking my head. "Of course it wasn't." I remarked dryly. Uncomfortable silence hung between us while we both struggled for words.

Finally, Edward broke the silence with a pained whisper. "It wasn't his soul."

I crossed my arms, turning away from him. "Feel free to elaborate."

Alphonse sat quietly at the table with his hands folded in his lap. His head was down, eyes bloodshot from crying. Edward stood across the room with an interesting expression I couldn't quite place.

"Are either of you going to talk or do I have to shame one of you into it?" I asked heatedly. More silence rang through the room before I made an agitated noise. "When did this start?"

I stared at Edward hard until he looked away, tightening his arms around himself.

"About a year after he came back." Alphonse whispered.

The italics are because I'm lazy and don't want to translate to a different language. So. Roy can't understand what they're saying, but you get to! DUN DUN DUUUUN! O.O dear god, I can't believe this took this long. I'm undeserving of anyone's interest. I'll try harder D: xoxoxoxoxoxo!