DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF S. MEYER'S CHARACTERS… UNFORTUNATELY.
I JUST PLAY WITH THEM.
Want to say a quick and heartfelt "Thank you!" to my enthusiastic pre-reader, Gabby. This girl keeps me going, especially when my world seems to be crumbling around me.
Blood In The Snow Chapter 7
Previously:
"Jazz, " I look him in the eye. "I need to tell you something about me." I hope I'm not setting myself up for any problems, but I need to tell him. He cocks an eyebrow, watching me closely. "I'm gay." I wait for his reaction. He stares at me for what feels like forever, with absolutely no expression on his face. Then, total relief rushes over his face as he slides into my side.
"Thank god. So am I."
EPOV
Jasper slid close, snuggling in close to my side. My arm wrapped around him, pulling him even closer. "Jazz", I sighed, nuzzling his soft curls, then kissing him on the head. Settling him close to me, we go back to watching the movie. But, I don't think either one of us is really paying attention to it. Hey, it gave us the perfect excuse to snuggle, and I'll take any excuse to snuggle with Jasper.
We quietly sat and stared at the TV, but I don't think either one of us actually watched the movie. Jasper's body is much more relaxed now; his muscles aren't as tense as they had been. I think maybe he's dropped off to sleep. "Jazz? Are you awake?" I whispered in his ear. No response. Softly chuckling, I didn't want to wake him, I eased us both down on the couch. Stretching our legs out so we could be more comfortable, I settled in for a nap, holding him close. I find myself thinking that I would like to hold him in my arms forever. How can my feelings for him be so strong so quickly?
Something wet poking me on the nose roused me from a very pleasant dream. Jasper and I were in a flowery meadow, on a blanket, the remains of a picnic around us. We were wrapped up together, worshiping each other with our lips, whispering 'I love you'.
Damn! What is that? Opening one eye just enough to get a close up view of a very wet nose attached to a very agitated doberman. "Alec. What?" I snarled at him. Silly animal is so delighted to see me awake, he's practically dancing in place. I couldn't help but snicker at him. "I guess you want out." I must have forgotten to unlock his doggie door.
As I carefully extracted myself from Jasper, Alec danced his way over to the door. "Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute." Looking out towards Mt. Rainier, the setting sun was painting the snow-capped peaks a soft pinky-purple color. Alec tore out the door as soon as I opened it. Releasing the latch on his doggie door, I turned toward the kitchen, thinking some fresh coffee sounds good right now. I peek at Jasper on the couch. He's still asleep. The horrors of his recent past are really taking it out of him. I wish I could help him somehow. Maybe just being a safe harbor for him will be enough for right now.
I know that I have already developed some strong feelings for him. Could it simply be sympathy and concern? No, I don't think so. I am thankful that we have time to explore these feelings. With his statement that he was glad I am gay, too… I feel like maybe he feels something, too. But I don't want to rush into anything. We both need to figure out just what it is that we are feeling. I'm afraid that I already know what I feel and I know exactly where I'm headed with it. But I need to be sure about Jasper's feelings. And so does he.
While I wait for the coffee to finish, I gather up a couple of mugs and all the fixings for the coffee on to a tray. I hear Alec's clicking toenails as he comes back inside. But instead of joining me in the kitchen to see if he can mooch anything, he heads for the living room. Hmmm… that's a first.
Shaking my head and chuckling, I grab the tray with the coffee and head in to the living room. The sight before me stops me in my tracks and I laugh so hard, I nearly drop the tray. Alec has Jasper pinned down on the couch, enthusiastically running his sloppy, wet tongue over any exposed portion of his face. Jaspers giggles are interspersed with gasping pleas for Alec to stop.
"Alec!" Giggle. "Ugh…stop." His hands push at the dog with no effect at all.
Watching them, I can't help but laugh even harder. "Jazz, need some help there?"
"Yes!"
"Alec. Down." Idiot animal just ignores me, so I set the tray down and grab his collar, tugging him off Jasper and on to the floor. "I said down." Finally he looked up at me and collapsed to the floor, eyes dancing and not the least bit remorseful. "Sorry about that. Silly thing forgets himself sometimes." I grin at Jasper, offering my hand to help get upright. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
"Other than needing a shower now, no, I'm fine." He grinned at me, reaching a hand down to rub Alec's ear. "Do I smell coffee?"
"Yup. Just made a fresh pot." I get the tray and set it on the coffee table. We each fix our cups and settle back on the couch to enjoy. "We never saw the end of that movie." I chuckled softly. "Want to try another one, some TV, or would you like to just talk?"
He peeked over the top of his coffee mug, through his lashes, at me. "I think I've seen enough TV." He shuddered. "Maybe we could just talk?"
"Sounds good." I got up and walked over to the bookcases lining the walls. I pulled out a cd and popped it into the player. Soft classical music wafted through the room. "This okay with you?"
He nodded. "Yeah. It's soothing."
We spend the next few hours just talking about our experiences growing up, our trials and tribulations in school, being gay, and just about everything including favorite foods. We laughed and enjoyed each other's company. The longer we talked, the closer we moved together. At one point, Jasper slid down to stretch out on the couch, putting his head in my lap, cocking an eyebrow for permission. I nodded and absently stroked my fingers through his hair as we continued to learn more about each other.
"Edward… did your folks accept it when you told them you were gay?"
"They were great." I smiled, remembering how my mom seemed to know before I said anything. "They never showed any sign of being disappointed or upset and went to great lengths to make sure I knew they loved me no matter what." I chuckled remembering Alice's reaction. "My sister, Alice, nearly burst my eardrums with her shrieking when she found out." Jasper gave me sad look. "No, no. She wasn't upset, she thought she had acquired a shopping buddy." I laughed. "Boy, was she wrong!" Jasper joined me in laughter. "How about you, Jazz?"
"I was lucky, like you", giving me a sad smile, "my folks didn't care if I preferred women or men as long as I was happy." He gazed off into space, lost in memories.
Damn. I didn't mean to remind him of his folks. What was I thinking? Oh, right, obviously I wasn't. "Jazz… I'm sorry…"
"No, it's okay." He raised his eyes to mine and I could see the unshed tears glistening. "Happy memories."
A lone tear escaped and trailed slowly down his cheek as he closed his eyes. Gently, I reached down and wiped it from his skin. "Baby, I'm so sorry about your folks." I murmured quietly. He turned his face to nuzzle into my stomach and I could feel the tears flow, soaking through my jeans. "Let it out, baby." I stroke his hair, trying to comfort him. I know he needs to grieve, but it's breaking my heart to see and hear his agony and heartbreak.
He sobs for quite a while before slowly winding down. He lies there, face buried in my stomach, sniffling. I desperately want to pull him up into my arms and take away all his pain, but I need that to be his choice. Continuing to gently stroke him, I whisper, "I'm here, baby. You're not alone. I will always be here for you."
His soft sniffling quiets and he turns his face up to me. "Edward… I'm sorry."
"No. You don't have to be sorry."
"I didn't mean to fall apart like that." He looks so lost and alone. "I knew my parents were dead. It was just shocking to see it on the news that way." He shuddered.
I pulled him up against my chest where I could hold him close to me. "I know, baby. I know." Without thinking I kissed the top of his head. "Would it help to talk about it?"
"Maybe." He shifted around, getting more comfortable in my arms.
As he hesitantly started telling me about the family business and Aro Volturi, the words came faster and I could feel the hatred for the Volturi family building and rolling off him in waves. By the time he got to the part where he came home to find the house burning, he was sobbing and gasping for air. I tried to get him to stop, but he insisted on telling me the rest.
"After they hung me from the ceiling, Aro told them to kill me and make sure to get rid of the body. I must have passed out. I don't remember anything else before I woke up here."
Glancing at the wall clock, I see its near midnight. Jasper is exhausted and quite frankly, so am I. "Jazz. Let's call it a night. I'm exhausted and I'm sure you are, too."
"Yeah, I am tired." He struggles to get up. "Damn. I'm weak as a kitten."
Wrapping my arm around his waist, I help him up and we head upstairs. "Come on, let's get you settled in for the night." I ease him down on the edge of the bed while I rummage through the dresser for sleep pants for us both. "Can you manage or do you need some help?"
"Give me a hand with the shirt, the pants I think I can manage, thanks." I help him out of the shirt, and then go into the bathroom to change. When I get back in the bedroom, Jasper is stretched out with his eyes closed. He looks up at me as I reach over to pull the extra blanket up for him.
"It gets colder at night, you'll need this."
I turn to go to the guest bedroom, but before I make it to the door, Jasper calls out to me. "Where are you going?"
"I thought I'd sleep in the other room."
He's quiet for a minute, then he looks up at me with pleading eyes. "Please don't leave me alone. Stay."
"You sure?"
"Please."
I slide into bed with him and hold out my arms to him. With a small smile, he snuggles into my side. I wrap my arms around him and hear him sigh.
"Thank you." He whispers so softly I almost don't hear him.
"I won't leave you, Jazz. I'll keep you safe."
A/N: Just a quick thank you to all of you for your patience. RL has been a real b**ch. Had to get my head around all the craziness. Think it's getting better, or else I'm just resigned to it.
Catherine