Chapter 3: "Shadow"
Walking into the cavern once more, carrying her mother's chest of books, Raven set them down in front of the door. She was early, but she didn't see why that would matter, she hoped it didn't… Yet, the crypt felt empty and cold. Life seemed to ignore every inch of what she looked at. Darkness enveloped more than the room and sent a chill up her spine.
"Hello?" Raven asked, searching for a response.
"I see you have found what I sought," the guide replied.
"Yes… Everything should be there. So, now, my problem has gotten worse, I need help," Raven said.
"Very well, we shall begin…" the guide said. The door opened before Raven and a cloaked figure, standing a foot taller than she and hidden completely by shadows, as they seemed to swarm around the guide, stepped out.
"What do I call you?" Raven asked.
"My name is unimportant, as I have long forgotten it… You may call me what you see me as…" the guide said.
"Shadow?" Raven asked, at a loss.
"If that is what you see… Now, do you want to waste more of your time with socializing, or shall we begin?" Shadow asked.
"Ok, what do I need to do?" Raven asked.
"Sit, in your meditating position," Shadow instructed, starting to slowly walk around Raven. Sitting and crossing her legs, Raven waited.
"Now…empty your mind as you would normally, but envision those thoughts within the jewel in the book before you," Shadow instructed.
Glancing down, Raven saw one of her mother's books floating open in front of her with a dark blue gem fixed in the page. Doing as she was instructed, Raven felt her thoughts swell inside the jewel, turning it red.
"Now…what color do you see?" Shadow asked.
"Red," Raven said.
"You have just identified your missing part…what do you feel?" Shadow asked.
"Angry…just mad at everything for no reason…" Raven said.
"Focus… choose something you find repulsive and mentally push the subject into the gem with your anger…" Shadow said.
Forcing what she hated into the gem with her mind drained her greatly; she was quickly sapped of energy and was struggling to stay conscious. Something within her mind opened and a flood of new energy soared from herself and added to the gem's contents.
"Stay with it…just a few more moments…" Shadow said.
The jewel had begun to levitate, rapidly changing shades from red to blue, then to red, back to blue, finally settling on the palest white. Shadow reached down and took the jewel in her hand, crushing it in her darkened grip. Raven gasped as she felt her energy return and ceased meditating.
"How do you feel?" Shadow asked.
"Better, but I still sense that something is missing, yet not as much… It is hard to tell," Raven said.
"If you expected to become whole from just one session with me, you are a fool..." Shadow said.
"I know… So what actually happened to me?"
"You fought your mind to accept itself, by introducing it to what it had lost, and filling some of the emptiness with a connection to your soul. It was only possible to do within a vessel outside of yourself, in this case, this jewel. It works better with something living."
"Will I still pass out, or will I have to keep doing this?"
"You may pass out still, but it will not be so intense, and this same ritual will need to be performed only once more, but differently and much later. For now, we have other things we must do to prepare for that… Not today, as you need to rest after this."
"What will we be doing tomorrow?"
"If I tell you, it won't help you… come prepared."
"Right… Thank you for helping me, I've been out of sorts for a long time."
"It is the least I can do for you; I owe your mother a great deal for helping me escape… In a way, helping you would repay that, and possibly more."
"Am I…sane…right now? Would I still agree with my decisions after my mind is whole again?"
"Hmm… In a way, you are still you, but whole, you would be more rational, for sure. I believe you could easily adjust or come to terms with any choice made during this time. If you want to wait and see, that would be wiser."
"Is there any way to know when this process would be done?"
"If everything goes well, you may be whole in a month, if there are problems, perhaps in two or three. I know this type of magic well; it is improbable that you won't fully regain your mind."
"Thank you."
"Before you go, may I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"Are you living alone, or with others?"
"I'm a member of the Teen Titans; there are six of us that watch over the city."
"Trying to silence your father's lingering memory inside you by protecting others and denying what was forced on you through those actions?"
"That is a blunt way of putting it, but…I guess that's the heart of it."
"After you are whole, you may want to see if you would be content doing that any more. There is no telling what you may see in a different light."
"I'll keep it in mind…"
"That is all I ask. Go and rest, I shall be waiting for you here tomorrow."
Picking up the books, Shadow walked for her door, entering the heart of the crypt and closing the door behind her. Raven headed for the crypt stairs and walked out, entering a portal and appearing outside Titans Tower. Her mind was much calmer, and her thoughts were few. The ritual seemed to have helped her, she felt a change, and was in better spirits. Still, she felt drained and wanted to go to her room and lie down for a bit. Shadow's forthright comments were bothering her a little, and she was not entirely sure where the guide was heading with the suggestions. Raven was still unsure if she should trust her so much, but there wasn't anyone else she could turn to for this kind of assistance. Entering the tower, she walked to the elevator and pressed the button. The others were probably still practicing their-
"Hey Raven, ready to go pick up that dress?"
Turning around, Raven saw Terra, who was sitting on a chair off to the side, with an encouraging half-smile fixed across her face.
"I would, but I'm pretty tired right now," Raven said.
"It isn't even time for dinner yet, and you're tired? Been running laps around the city all day?" Terra asked.
"No. I'm just a little drained."
"Too drained to go and get one dress with a friend?"
"I know better, it isn't just going to be one dress… You won't stop pushing me until I have a bag full of stuff, and you have five."
"So? Come on, you usually like what I find for us. And you avoided me yesterday, so you don't have a choice this time."
"I wasn't avoiding you…" Raven said. She sighed and quickly tested her mind, seeing if she could afford to push herself any further. "Alright, I'll go. But only one thing today, please, I'm still tired."
"Okay, you've got a deal," Terra said, smiling.
They left for the mall through one of Raven's portals. Appearing outside the main building, they entered and passed several stores before they got to the one they visited last time. Every other store they passed, Terra would try and go in, and Raven would take her by the shoulder and lead her away. Really, Raven just wanted to run to the store, pay, grab the dress and just go, but Terra wasn't going to let her do that. This had turned into a ritual of sorts for them some months ago, when Terra had been having a lot of fights with Beast Boy. It had been Raven's suggestion, because she wanted to help her friend by taking her mind off of him and spend some time together. Not because she wanted to do it.
Pulling Terra along, Raven found the store and went inside. Not a few seconds passed before Terra asked, "So, are you seeing anyone?"
"Wh-Where did that come from?" Raven asked.
"You were gone awhile today and you had been gone the day before, I thought maybe you were out with someone," Terra said.
"No, I'm not seeing anyone; I just needed some time to myself to meditate where I knew I wouldn't be interrupted."
"Is your room not good enough?"
"Actually, no, because you or the others could knock on my door at any second, and it keeps me from maintaining my peace."
"We are just being nice; you need to spend time with people once in a while, and we worry about you when you don't."
"I spend plenty of time with all of you… well, except for Beast Boy, but you know why… although I did spend some time sitting near a dead tree, so that counts really…"
"Are you two ever going to stop being mean to each other?"
"Probably not."
"You should…It isn't good for either of you... So, since you aren't seeing anyone, is there someone you'd want to-?"
"Can we not talk about this in the middle of the store?"
"Ok, but we're talking about it later. What are you going to buy?"
"Just the dress."
"Well, last time we looked at-."
"No."
"Come on – it is summer and we'll go to a swimming pool or beach at some point on vacation."
"We have a pool."
"Just-."
"No."
"Maybe-"
"No."
"Hey, it looked great on you, and you said maybe, last time, so either you buy it or I'm getting it for you."
"Fine, damn it, I'll get that too, but nothing else."
"Fine," Terra said smiling, "now what should I get?"
"Out of here before I drag you away?" Raven said
"Just a few things…" Terra said, walking off to browse.
Raven sighed and took the swim suit from the rack and went up to the counter. Asking for the dress and shoes she had them hold, she paid for the items, hid the swim suit in the dress bag and sat on a nearby chair, waiting for Terra to finish. Might be here awhile, she thought.
(Chapters 4… and 5 will be up next week. ~RavensMind~)