Chapter 8 – Individual Session
I wake up groaning and stretch my arm out to the other side of the bed, searching for Pansy, only to feel the empty space of mattress and sheets between my fingers. My eyes shoot open and I sit up with a gasp. "Pansy!?" I'm still freaked out over that dream. It really did feel like I was being cursed, like every inch of my body was being stabbed by scorching hot knives. The pain was unbearable and even now I'm still feeling the side effects of it: dizzy, shaken, not to mention terrified. For a minute, I even forget where I am.
"Draco?" I jump at the sound of my name and quickly turn my head to the bathroom. My heart starts to slow down when I see Pansy walking over to me.
She kneels down on her side of the bed, next to me, and brushes my bangs out of the way, "Calm down, it's okay." She says calmly.
I take a breath, trying to calm myself down. I see her reach over to my left arm and I quickly pull it away. "I won't hurt you, Draco. I just want to see it."
"Why? It's not like it's gone."
"Draco, calm down. I just want to see it… I promise I won't hurt you…"
Hesitantly, I give her my arm. Pansy gently pulls up my sleeve, like my arm might fall off if she isn't careful. My stomach turns when I see that mark and I look away, urging to just yank my arm out of her grasp, pull my sleeve over it and never look at it again. It makes me sick, it really does.
"You know, it really isn't that bad. Just try and forget it's even there." I know she's trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate it, but it isn't working. If she had this thing on her arm she'd be worse off than me… I guess you'd have to be a Death Eater to understand…
Suddenly my heart lurches when I notice the time on the little clock that's on my nightstand. 9:15. I slept in an extra forty-five minutes.
"We gotta go!" I say and bolt out of bed. My head is still spinning from the nightmare and I don't even have time to take a shower. I'm about to run to the bathroom and change when I can hear Snape yelling from downstairs, cursing and screaming for me to get my ass to the training center.
"I heard you the first ten million times, Snape!" I shout out my door before slamming it shut.
"Whoa!" Pansy says with a laugh, "You mad?"
"I'm always mad! That rotten man just won't let me live!"
"Well, none of us actually will…"
I shoot her a nasty look and she turns away with a red face. "Too soon. Sorry. I-I'll just go in my room before you throw something hard at my face."
"Good idea." I say as my eyes follow her as she leaves.
She inches out of my room like I'm turning into the Devil and shuts the door behind her softly, as if the slightest noise will make my the ceiling come crashing down. When she's finally gone I run to the bathroom, quickly change and rush on downstairs.
Snape is already waiting for me at the foot of the staircase and grabs me by the hair once I appear. At first I flinch and try to fight him only because I think he's Goyle at first, and that one time back on the train, when he first pulled me by my hair, wasn't the best time of my life.
"Ow! Snape, what's the deal? Let me go!"
He starts dragging me to the elevator. "You're more than forty-five minutes late, Malfoy! That's over forty-five minutes wasted of training!"
I try to keep up with him, and by now my head is starting to hurt. The only slightly good thing about this is that Goyle is much stronger and I don't think Snape is actually trying to hurt me. He's just pissed.
"I'll make up for it! I still got until the afternoon to train."
"You won't have time 'to make up for it' in the arena, now would you, Malfoy? If this were the Games, you'd be slaughtered in your sleep by now."
He presses the button to call the elevator and just then, Potter arrives. Great, he's witnessing me getting beat up again, this time by my mentor. His face is priceless, though. He's between trying not to laugh, and also looking terrified since Snape is giving him the death stare.
"What are you doing here, Potter? Late too I suppose?"
"That's not really your concern, now, is it?" Harry says. I try to shift out of Snape's grasp but he pulls me back. "Ah!" I yelp.
"Don't move, you."
Harry smirks, the fear finally leaving his eyes when he notices me in pain. "Well, I never thought I'd see the day. Snape's finally teaching his favorite student some manners."
"Don't you have a spear to throw, Potter?!" I say.
"You both have something to do." Snape says when the elevator finally opens. He tosses me inside and I stumble to catch my balance using the crystal wall to support me. "Don't kill each other… yet." Harry walks in just when the door starts to slide shut.
I groan and try to flatten down my now, messy hair. I hear Harry snicker. "And what are you laughing at!?"
"The irony. I never thought Snape would discipline you: his favorite little Slytherin."
"Congratulations, your dreams have finally come true." I say, irritated.
He leans against the crystal wall with his arms crossed across his chest. He thinks he's hot stuff, now, doesn't he? I just roll my eyes.
"So you woke up late." He's not even questioning it.
"So you did too." I say back.
"….Guess we're even, then…"
"Guess so…." I sigh. This elevator ride is taking too long. I need to say something to bypass these next few miserable minutes of Hell.
"Potter." I say.
"Malfoy."
I feel my face turning red and I look away. I always did like the way he says my name.
"Uhm… About what happened on the train…"
He's suddenly quiet and shifts against the wall. These next words that are about to come out of my mouth pains me.
"I'm…" I bite my lip. I hate the "S" word. "I'm sorry… F-For what I said – I guess I was just trying to hide what I really wanted to say…"
He titles his head and pushes off of the wall, like he's interested in what I actually did want to say to him – what I still want to say.
"And what was that?" He asks.
I swallow down the lump in my throat and look up in his green eyes. Those perfect green eyes… "I…"
Tell him, you're about to die anyway, it won't matter.
"Okay, Potter, I-"
The door slides open and my shoulders drop in disappointment. Damn it… I was so close.
We walk to the Training Center in silence since there are a few Tributes walking the hall. When we get to the Center, Harry turns back to me. I can tell my face is beat red by the hot feeling in my cheeks, and I can't look at him anymore because of it.
"What is it, Draco?" Now he sounds concerned.
"N-Nothing… Never mind, it's not important…" I know he can tell I'm lying since he's quiet for a moment and looking me over with a suspicious look on his face.
"Well…. okay… good luck today…" He says dully, sounding a bit disappointed.
I nod. "Yeah… you too…." He remains standing next to me for a few seconds or so, like I'll change my mind and decide to tell him. When he's convinced I won't, he leave me to meet Ron near the weights. I sigh and watch him leave before I go look for Pansy and Blaise.
"Did you tell him!?" I hear Blaise say. I pick my head up to see him standing in front of me. Pansy is sitting behind him on the bleachers.
"Tell who, what?" I say flatly; no feeling. I suddenly just feel so depressed. I want to tell Harry, I really do, but he'll only resent me even more than he ever did. He'll be gone soon; I'll lose him… I want to tell him – I have to.
"You know what, Dray. So did you?" Blaise says. He's reminding me of a high school teenager – so interested in the drama and romance…
I shake my head and go take my axe off of the weapon rack, "You're wasting your time, Blaise…" Wrong. I'm the one who's wasting time.
He must have seen how upset I was and gave up since he stopped talking about it from then on.
I'm all off today. I can't get Harry out of my mind and I can't concentrate on training. I tried the dummy and it won against me, bruising up my right leg pretty badly. I tried the obstacle course against Blaise and he beat me four times. I attempted the weights but couldn't even lift one. I even tried working on my axe throwing that Harry taught me… it failed ten times. So now Pansy and I are working on snares. I mind as well know what they look like at least, so I can watch out for traps and nets – if I get caught in one of those I'm done for.
"Draco, what's with you today?" Pansy asks.
I'm playing with a piece of rope, not even attempting to tie it. "Is it that dream?"
I shake my head.
"…Snape?" I shake my head again, not taking my eyes off my rope. If I look at her I might lose it and break down, because Harry isn't the only one I'm losing. Suddenly I feel her hand on my knee and she leans in. "Draco, talk to me. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Draco…"
I look at her. "Pansy, really. Just… Stop." She pulls back, I guess seeing the sadness in my eyes. Nothing gets past my best friends; sometimes they know me better then I know myself, and I know for a fact that Pansy is far from blind as to what's going on between Harry and me, she just tries not to notice.
"O-Okay, but… The sessions? Do you know what you're going to do? Not that you can tell me, I'm just curious."
Why does she have to bring this up? I've never trained this awful in these past three days, and when I do, it just so happens to be on the day of our sessions. The Games are two days away now and my anxiety is building up by the second. Ever get that feeling when you just want to hit something really, really hard? Or get the urge to just bang your head against the wall out of pure aggravation? Well, that's exactly how I feel right now. What will I do for my session? I have no idea… and as far my interview goes, I don't even know what I'll say. That'll be the first time my "fans" hear me speak. I have to put on a good show even though I don't want to. I'm not a good public speaker – in front of small crowds – maybe, but in front of an audience? I'm lucky if my knees don't wobble from under me.
"No…" I say, gripping my piece of rope tighter, trying to fight the urge to throw a fit. My nails dig into my palm making my knuckles turn white.
"Well… do you want some help?" Pansy asks. "We can train together and-"
"I told you, just top it, okay?!" That sounded way too mean, even for me. And I can tell I hurt her by the look she's giving me. I sigh and turn back to my rope. "I'm sorry… I'm not mad at you, I'm just," I sigh, "I'm a mess, right now."
"It's okay… well, come on, let's go train, we can help each other. Besides, it might get your mind off of things." She gets up and grabs my arm so I can follow her, but I don't move, instead I shift my attention over to Harry. He looks exhausted but working his ass off. He and Hermione are fighting the moving dummies and from the looks of it, he's winning against the stupid thing. I hope he wins. I really do hope he wins. And if it means anything, I'll save his ass just so he does.
"Dray, did you hear me?" I hear Pansy say. I shake my head away from Harry and look up at her. She must have said something while I was spaced out.
"Sorry. What?"
"I asked if you wanted to practice on the obstacle course."
"Uhm…" I turn back over at Harry – if I can just get Granger away from him for five minutes… "You go. I'm gonna work on my throwing."
"Well then come on. We'll go practice!" Now she just sounds excited. I feel bad trying to get rid of her and all, but… Harry needs to know, and he needs to know now. I stand up and try not to look or sound too mean, "I'll catch up with you latter. I just need to ask Harry something."
"Harry?" She crinkles her nose. "You never call him Harry!"
"Oh… Potter, then."
"Well, Okay, Draco. Give that Mudblood a smack for me." She gently punches my shoulder and runs off to practice on knocking down a few dummies with throwing knives.
I watch her leave and turn back to Harry and Ganger before taking a breath and walking over.
"Oh. Hi Malfoy." Granger says once she notices me, "Where's your friend?"
"Pansy? Uhm… she just felt like doing something else, I guess…"
Harry comes back from getting his spear out of the dummy's head. He's out of breath and sweating. I swallow the lump in throat and shift uncomfortably at the sight of him. Now, I'm suddenly sweating.
"Hey, Malfoy." He says through breaths, sticking his spear into the mat.
"Potter. I was uh – I mean can you…." My hearts beating fast, so I take a breath before I continue, "Can you help me with my throwing?"
"Sure."
Hermione smiles, "You two have fun." She looks up at Harry, "I'll be over by the weights with Ron, okay?"
"Alright, I'll meet you guys later." Harry says before pulling his spear out of the mat. "What's the problem?"
"Uh, actually, that's not really why I'm here." I say, as soon as Granger is out of earshot.
He tilts his head, "Okay… So why are you here?"
"Well, I wanted to ask you something…" I say softly and look down.
"Out with it, Malfoy, speak up, I can hardly hear you."
"Do you still like Ginny?" Well, this is awkward… I haven't exactly thought about how I would confess my feelings for Harry, and Ginny just came into my jumbled up mind for some reason.
Harry even looks confused and is quiet for a moment, "Uh… Not really… Not anymore…"
"Oh…"
"I like someone else…"
"Really!?" Whoa, that sounded a bit too excited. "I mean… Really?" That's better.
He smirks and laughs a bit in amusement at my awkwardness. "Yes, really. Why are you even concerned? Are you still with Pansy…?" His last question sounds dull. Like the thought of me actually being together with Pansy makes him sick.
"Still? No, Potter, we were never together…"
"Really? Well, I just thought – since you're always with her… Plus you went with her to the Yule Ball, so I figured…"
"No… We're not together… Friends yes, but not a couple."
"Oh, good! I mean not good good. It's good that you guys are friends, but what I meant was…" He's talking fast now and even I can't help but smirk shyly at this. He sighs, "What's the real question, Malfoy?"
"Well," I squeak out before clearing my throat. "Well, I actually wanted tell you something."
"Oh, yeah, you started on the elevator."
I nod, "Mhmm. Uh…" I grab my left arm nervously. "Harry…" My stomach is going in circles – I'm so nervous to tell him. What if he rejects me? Or wait what if this makes him want to kill me? No… No, I can't tell him… I know I'll die, but I don't him to be the one who does the job. And it looks like my luck has just run out anyway because a buzzer goes off.
"Attention Tributes." A voice says over an intercom. It sounds like Mad Eye, the head Game Keeper.
"It's three o'clock. Please proceed to your house and prepare to meet for your individual sessions. First will be Gryffindor. Tributes, you will all be directed one by one to your sessions. Hope you've trained hard."
I feel my heart hammering so hard in my chest, my rib cage might start to raddle. "Draco?" I jump when I hear Harry say my name.
"Well…" I say. "Good luck, Potter…"
His shoulders drop. I can tell he wants to know what I want to tell him by the sad look in his eyes, but I can't…
"Yeah." He sighs dully, "You too, Malfoy…"
So we're back to that now: calling each other by our last names like we're enemies again. It kind of feels like my heart is being ripped to shreds. What am I even saying? We'll always be enemies. We'll never be friends or anything more…
I give him a shy but forced smile and watch him leave for the Center. When the doors shut behind him, and he's out of sight, I groan, feeling the urge to just kick myself for this.
"I'm such an idiot…" I mumble to myself. All that's left in the Training Center now are Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. I'm about to go over and join Pansy at the obstacle course when I feel a hand on my shoulder. There's no mistaking that abnormally large, beefy hand.
I try not to look too nervous and swallow the knot in my throat. But I'm not turning around. I won't. I shiver when I feel him lean down near my ear, and tighten his hold on my shoulder.
"Moment of truth, Malfoy." Goyle says. "Now we all get to see how weak you really are." He hugs me to his side and I gasp out of fear and shock, stiffening my body, wanting to run away from him. My heart is only beating faster.
"I wonder what Mad Eye will turn you into this time? Maybe a cute little spider so I can easily step on you. Or maybe a ferret again, so I can wring your furry little neck."
I push away from him roughly. "Why don't you just kill me while I'm human, you coward!?"
"Hmm. You're right, Malfoy. That would ruin the fun. I wouldn't be able to hear you scream." He sneers with a smirk.
I back away from him when I see that smirk grow, "You're sick, Goyle… You need help…"
"Oh, we don't have time for that now, do we? After all, time is something we don't have." He grips my shoulder again, and gets down so close to my ear, I feel like I'll never stop shuttering. His hot breath on my neck feels like fire burning through my skin. "The Games are getting closer, Malfoy." He whispers, "Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."
I feel like I can't even blink, but I don't want him to see that I'm scared. He's the coward here, not me.
"You know," He pulls back, but keeps his hand on me, "I wonder what Potter's scream sounds like, don't you? We'll, Draco, how about I give you a little show in the Games and rip his heart out of his chest? I'll just do the job you wouldn't."
My eyes shoot open wide and I shove him back so hard, his broad body actually stumbles. "Don't you dare touch him!"
He looks shocked at first, but only because I had the guts to actually shove him away from me. But soon an evil smirk snakes onto his lips again, like the thought of me wanting to protect Harry gives him horrid ideas about killing him in front of my own eyes. That's just what he wanted – to hit my weak spot. Lashing out at him to not hurt Harry only hinted a weakness that he can use against me. "Hit a soft spot, Malfoy? I knew you had feelings for that boy…"
I ball up my fists, "Goyle – I swear – I'll make sure your death is far worse than mine – than anyone's, if you even go near him!" I'm so mad that my voice deepens to a growl.
His smirk grows bigger. He must be enjoying this, and honestly, I can care less if he knows I love Harry. I won't allow Goyle to hurt him. I'll throw myself in front of his sword before I let that happen. "I'm so glad they let me out of solitude early, because I did not want to miss this!" He looks over at Pansy, who is now walking over with Blaise. "Now I know you have two weaknesses." He smirks evilly before turning to walk away towards the doors. Before the doors shut on him, Goyle holds up and index finger and shifts it from side to side, like the hand on clock. "Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."
I'm not taking my eyes off of him, "Tick tock…" I say to myself when the doors shut him fright sight, "Count down until your last breath, Goyle…"
"Hey." I hear Blaise say, but I don't turn around or even take my evil glare off of the elevator doors, like Goyle might re-appear and kill me from behind if I turn away. I swear I'll kill him. If he even dares to look at Harry, I'll throw my axe square at his thick and ugly head. I'm not protecting Harry because I owe him for saving my life – I'm protecting him because I love him – I want him to win, and if it means taking a life or taking my own… I'll go that far. For him, I'll do anything.
"Draco?" Pansy says. Still, I don't turn around. Instead I head for the door, not even caring if Blaise and Pansy are following me.
Fueled by anger, and roused by hatred, I'm ready for my session. Actually, I'm more than ready. I know exactly what I'm going to do to get my high score. It does take a while for Slytherin to be up next, and I'm the last one to go. I'm sitting by myself, outside of the Game Keeper's gym. I had an idea what I was going to do this whole time, but didn't dare tell anyone. Whatever we do for our sessions are between the Tributes and the Game Keepers. That little chat with Goyle really boosted my confidence. I need to show him I'm something to help Harry win.
I'm sitting in an empty room, that was filled with the rest of the Slytherin's earlier but now I'm the last one. This room is completely empty, and all I'm sitting on is a metal bench that's connected to the metal wall behind me. Pansy is in there right now, so all I got to do is wait. I'm still mad – really mad. I won't let Goyle do this – I'll do anything to make sure he doesn't – anything.
Suddenly the metal door next to me opens and I look up to meet Pansy's worried glance. "Good luck, Draco… Mad Eye's tough."
I nod at her and stand up.
"Draco Malfoy." I hear my name being called over the intercom. I take a deep breath and step through the door. The Game Keepers have a little loft that's leveled up a bit higher so they can observe the session.
Only thing is they don't even seem to know I'm here. They're just sitting around talking and laughing. Maybe, I'm just nervous and made a quiet entrance, so I try to step a bit more loudly, and sigh heavily as I walk over to the weapon rack to pick my weapon. I smirk at the sight of my axe and pick it up, comfortably, in my hands.
Also, did I ever mention that Mad Eye Moody hates my guts? Because he does. Goyle wasn't just kidding around he made that joke about Moody turning me into a ferret. He actually did once – fourth year at Hogwarts – bad memories that I don't feel like reflecting on. I actually shutter at the thought. The only good thing about that little experience was biting Goyle's fat hand with my limited ferret teeth.
Mad Eye and the Game Keepers are still ignoring me, but maybe if I get started they'll notice I'm here. In the corner are a few dummies. I pull one on over into the center of the gym and remember my training with Pansy. Think ahead of yourself. The dummy comes to life with magic, flaring its rod like arms in every direction. I stand in place, concentrating on its movements, awaiting the right moment to attack it.
I try to slow the thing down with my eyes before I purposely use my leg to try and side-kick it. It blocks my attack with a hard smack to my thigh, which is what I wanted. At the same time I spin my axe and slice off the dummy's head. The stupid thing's magic runs out and it hits the ground, defeated. I smirk and twirl my axe back up right and turn to the Game Keepers. My face turns to shock – they're still not looking at me. It's like they didn't even see anything.
Mad Eye's laughing about some Hufflepuff tributes and one of the Game Keepers with huge, black gauges in his ears actually turns to look lock eyes with mine. I feel a sudden rush of anger when I see him give me a sarcastic look and go back to his conversation.
Now, the fire in me is really burning.
I'm not even thinking about what I'm doing and I just get in a proper stance, hold my axe by the end of the handle, straighten up and throw.
My weapon sticks the wall, right next to Moody's head and everyone gets silent. They all turn to me and Moody looks so shocked that his artificial eye might fall out of his head.
Usually they dismiss me, but I'm too pissed to care, so I just solute sarcastically, and leave on my own free will, slamming the door shut behind me.
It's still early when I get back, so I have time to finally shower, and change into something comfortable.
"Hey! How'd it go?" Pansy asks, once I return to the Slytherin section. She's sitting on the couch with Blaise. Crabbe, Marcus and Goyle are talking silently at the kitchen table but they suddenly stop their oh-so-important conversation, and turn to me, like they're ease dropping.
"Let's just say Mad Eye might think twice before using the Transfiguration spell on me again." I say and bound up stairs to my room to shower and change. I'm really not happy about what I did and I'll probably be slaughtered before my interview for it, but I don't care. What was I meant to do? Just walk away like I didn't even show up? No way. Mad Eye is just lucky I wasn't actually aiming for his head; otherwise, there would have been a real mess to clean up – Mad Eyes' guts and mine. Oh, well, these Game Keepers are probably going to give me the lowest score for almost taking Moody's head off, anyway. But that little trick Harry showed me did come in handy. So I secretly thank him for that.
The hot shower feels good though. Almost every muscle in my body aches, and I'm just noticing it now. Training is finally over but I've been too deep into thought to even notice how sore I am.
Next is the horrid truth of our scores. As soon as I get downstairs, Snape grabs me by the cuff of my shirt roughly. "YOU THREW AN AXE AT MOODY'S HEAD!?"
I turn my head to look around the living room. Umbridge looks amused, Pansy and Blaise look shocked and Marcus, Crabbe and Goyle are trying not to laugh. Snape yanks my shirt and I yelp softly, looking back up at him. "WELL? DID YOU?"
"So what is if I did? He deserved it!"
Snape scowls at me and I scowl right back. "Do you realize the trouble you could be in, Malfoy? You could be killed tonight!"
"I'm gonna die anyway! What can they do to me that they haven't already!?"
Snape growls and tosses me out of his grasp. I rub my neck a bit, where he grabbed my shirt and take a seat next to Pansy and Blaise since the scores are about to be announced.
"Good job." Pansy whispers as she gently elbows me. I smile lightly and watch the Hufflepuff scores. All of them got between a 4 and a 6. I sink in my seat, embarrassed for them.
Ravenclaw did pretty well. Luna got an 8 and Cho got a 7.
And Gryffindor…. I sit up straight, eyes glued to the screen, and heart beating rapidly. I'm rooting for Harry, I know he did well – better than well – excellent. Because he got a 10. Ron also got a 10 and Hermione got a 9. I try to hide my excitement because I can see Goyle staring at me on the corner of my eye, so I just smirk to myself. Good job, Potter. I think.
Now… Slytherin… Oh God, this will be a horror show. I lean in, nervously, staring at the TV. I feel Pansy shift uncomfortably on the sofa and I swallow the lump in my throat when I see Marcus's name pop up. He got an 8. Crabbe got a 7, Blaise got a 9 and so did Pansy.
My heart's pounding, and finally my name comes up. I'm about to pass out because on that screen I see the number 11. My eyes widen. What? No, this can't be right… Moody hates me – what is this?
I feel Blaise hit my back and cheer for me. Pansy hugs me tight and I can even see a smirk snake onto Snape's lips. Umbridge is clapping and Marcus and Crabbe don't look the least bit happy. Goyle looks ready to strangle me. Speaking of that pig, his score is next.
My heart is ready to stop and I almost forget to breathe. He got an 11. We're tied. I turn my head to him and he's smirking evilly at me. This… is bad…
I mind as well just give up now, because with these scores, it'll end up coming down to Goyle and me, and I'll surely be killed in the most brutal way by him.
Marcus and Crabbe are congratulating him while Blaise, Pansy and I say absolutely nothing.
AN: I'm sorry for not updating guys! I had this chapter done, it was just a matter of going back to edit it. I'm still not sure if there are some errors, if there are they're probably minor ones.
Anyway, the next chapter will be up very soon! It's the last one before the Games, so it's pretty lengthy. It's done; I just need to edit it. But for now, I'll post 8. I know it's not much, but it's something. I hope you guys like it so far.