CPOV

I always wondered how I can put up such an amazing poker face on. The last couple of days have been nothing but fake smiles around Jace because I'm afraid to be happy. He probably doesn't notice my poker face. He either doesn't notice or doesn't care. I hope it's the latter because I don't need him coming and screwing my life up I finally calmed it down. He won't notice I reassure my self he surrounds himself with fakes anyway.

My life used to be in ruins but I pulled myself together. For Sam. When in truth my insides are falling apart. After I had Sam I never dated, refused to fall in love.

No Jace didn't break my heart. He's not the reason why I'm cold and heartless as Magnus so generously describes me. It's simply just after I got pregnant with Sam reality set in. He's the only man in my life. Unless you include Simon but I don't he's always been a part of my life.

I make my way to the kitchen smelling the sweet, sizzling scent of bacon. My taste buds are basically watering. I'm quickly snapped out of my reverie by the smell of smoke. I bolt into the kitchen where Izzy is waving a spoon at Simon her back turned towards the stove.

"Izzy" I screech sounding a lot like Jace's new girlfriend.

"Oh shit" she yells. Then were all waving around towels. We probably look quite comical.

A voice clearing stops our little towel show. Sam is standing there a grin smothering his face, and standing behind him with an identical grin is Jace. I look at my feet my cheeks reddening.

"I'm surprised you even let Iz in the kitchen" Jace says.

"Oh you little" Izzy exclaims while waving her towel threateningly at him.

"Actually she's improved" I say. Izzy smiles at me sweetly. Then throws a look at Jace as if saying "ha" so I humour her. "She can pour a bowl of cereal"

I see Simon slowly back into a corner, Sam following closely behind him. So I run past Izzy and Jace. Then Izzy's after me like a pack of angry wolves. Screaming obscenities at me.

I'm laughing my head off. It's so fun to get under Izzy's skin. The after effects are never pleasant. But it's just so darn fun.

A sobering thought hits me and I freeze. Not from fear I just freeze. They say after my little 'mistake' I've never been the same. Always freezing up and never having fun. Quick images flit across my eyelids.

Short skirt. Black boots. Flashes of gold. Flashes of red. Loud music. Strobe lights. Bathroom stalls. Bathroom door. A pink plus sign.

Jace is staring at me in shock and Izzy's looking at her feet. My hands are aching and I look down at them and see blood from my nails digging into my palm. I sprint into my room and slam the door, and slide down putting my hands on my head. More images envelope me.

Blackness. Bright lights. Ringing ears. Alcohol. Dancing. Grinding. Kissing. Tears. Yelling. Screaming. Crying. Lying. Cheating. Leaving. Cold. Heartless. Breakups. No makeups. Gone. Pregnant. Broken heart.

I haven't had a flashback in two years. I thought I was improving. Now I've had two. More vivid then any other before. Tears well up in my eyes.

No. No. No. Why is this happening to me?

A horrid thought escapes me what if I'm breaking again because of Jace. No that's not possible we were only friends it was Sebastian who made me like this.

Sebastian isn't your baby daddy though. I think to myself. Sebastian just broke my heart.

He cheated on me. So I got drunk at a party. Which caused my pregnancy.

I have this feeling I know who Sam's dad is. But I'm not positive so I won't jump to conclusions.

I stand up and stare at my puffy eyes in the bathroom mirror. This isn't me. I'm not weak. I'm strong. I'm strong for Sam. I fix myself up and walk back into the living room.

Jace is lounging on the couch. My stomach does flip flops I don't want to talk to him.

"Izzy and Simon took Sam to Mayrse's" I nod my head. So worried about being strong for Sam and pulling myself together I actually forgot about him. "Want to take a walk with me?" I nod my head again.

"So what was all that about?" He asks. I stiffen.

"Nothing" short and simple he doesn't need to know anything.

"It looked like more than nothing"

"We'll it's nothing you need to concern your pretty little head over" I snap. He smirks Oh shit.

"I am hot, sexy, dashing but never pretty" I'm happy for the topic change. "Pretty is for young naive girls like you"

"I'm not naive" I whack his arm "and you're not dashing" I giggle. Oh my gosh I just giggled I never giggle.

"Oh Clary your words are like knives, I believe as much as it hurts to say this you just wounded my ego" I laugh a full blown real laugh it this time no flashbacks follow.

"Nobody can wound your ego Jace it's to big" I say still laughing.

"You're right"

"I'm always right" I say smugly.

"And I'm the egotistical one" he mumbles.

We walk in silence.

"You want to eat at Taki's?" I ask as we walk by Taki's.

"Nope" he says popping the "p"

My eyebrows mush together. "Why?" We used to always hang out at Taki's.

"Kaelie" he says it like it explains everything.

"Soooo" I say.

"So she's annoying" he says.

"Then why are you dating her?" We're a couple blocks away from Taki's now.

"She got pregnant and told everyone it was mine, we weren't dating at the time but I guess I was the only person she could think of when people asked her who the dad was, it's not me, and I can't afford to lose my job again her dads the owner of the company I work for, I would for sure be fired if he found out I dumped his pregnant daughter after he thinks the kid is mine, so I stick with her"

"Why don't you just stay in Brooklyn with us?"

"Everybody knows me here I have a bad reputation here I don't know why though"

"Wait if its not you kid who's is it?" I ask him.

"Some guy named Sebastian" I freeze "his company is her dads opposing company"

Sebastian.

"Sebastian who?" I ask quietly.

"Verlac or something like that" my out of town ex. "Clary are you okay?" I try to answer but I'm to far gone.

. . .

Ring ring ring.

My caller display shows Sebs number. Seb is my boyfriend from our of town. We've been dating for a while and I really like him. I pick up.

"Hey ba—" I'm cut of by moaning. He but dialled me while like ugh with another girl. Oh we are so over. I hang up. I don't cry though I suck it up.

He's not worth your tears I tell myself. So I dial my friend Izzy's number.

"Hey Iz change of plans I'll come tonight" I hear her squeal.

"Be over in five" then she hangs up. Oh Clary what have you gotten yourself into.

An hour later I'm standing in front of my wall mirror. My hair is curled. My eyes are outlined in black. I have a black tube dress that goes to mid-thigh and big black boots. My legs look longer my face more grown up I look nothing like myself. Good. I will show him That he was stupid for cheating on me.

. . .

He didn't hurt me at that moment it was the aftermath that almost killed me.

I blink my eyes open to the blazing afternoon sun.

"You're awake" hear Jace say. Wait where am I? In a park, on a bench my head in Jace's lap.

Then it all comes rushing back to me.

Sebastian.

I sit up slowly. Three flashbacks in one day that's never happened before.

"You just fainted" he says clearly finishing a sentence I didn't hear. Oh so it was different this time.

"I'm just hungry" I lie. My stomach grumbles at the perfect moment.

We walk to a Starbucks and I order a scone. Jace orders some kind of latte. I pull my wallet out ready to pay when he hands the lady a bill. Paying for my order.

"You didn't have to do that" I grumble and stuff my wallet back in my coat pocket. He smiles at me as he bends over to pick something up. I grab our orders and stomp outside. Once outside I walk down the street.

He taps my shoulder and I turn thrusting his drink at him as he hands me a picture. It's the picture I keep of Sam in my wallet it must've fallen out. I look back up at Jace.

The same gold eyes.

The same dazzling smile and mischievous smirk.

The same jaw line.

The same curly hair.

Why didn't I see this before? I take the picture from his hand. No way.

We keep walking he left the day after the party. That explains why everyone resents him. His reputation, oh god. I mentally face palm. How didn't I notice?

I stop walking and turn to him he looks at me puzzled.

"Jace" i say "I have to tell you something"

Ooooh cliffy I think. Review please and tell me how you liked it!