Chapter 14 – The Run Away

I have never felt this awful about something in my life. When I was forced to kill Dumbledore the whole time I was just afraid for my own life and afraid of dying – I knew I couldn't do it and failing at various attempts only made me sure of it. But I was also scared of being weak. I wanted to do something great so that maybe I would get some praise, especially from my father. What will Harry think when he sees her picture and name come up on that hovercraft tonight? He might think it was Goyle, but when he finds out it was me – he'll hate me with every bone in his body. I hate myself for it. The last thing I want is for Harry, above all people, to hate me. I got this far with him – so close to telling him the truth about how I really feel and now, just when I'm so close to getting the only thing I ever wanted, I lose him. Unless by some shred of luck I can get him to believe I was forced to take Hermione's life I might have a second chance with him. But after everything I've done to him and after everything we've been through, I think I'm out of chances.

I don't even know where Goyle is leading us now, but I'm lagging behind with Pansy, holding my cut up, bloody hand in pain. I can hardly move and keep it so stiff that it feels frozen and numb, like a block of ice that's soaked in red paint. The cuts under the blood are visible and from the looks of it, they seem pretty deep. I was only gripping onto the blade hard enough. I'm surprised I still have this hand.

"Draco…" Pansy says. I don't answer. "Don't listen to what he says. You're not a you-know-what…"

"I got the mark to prove it, don't I?" I say dully as I watch the blood on my hand drip through my fingers.

"And that's all it is, Draco – a mark. It doesn't mean anything – it doesn't change who you really are."

"But this mark was powered by one evil man, and now that he's gone this mark has led people like me into making up these Games. I hate them – all of them – including myself."

"Draco, you shouldn't say that… not on live TV. If the Death Eaters hear-"

"You think I care? Pansy, I'm as good as dead anyway. Nothing matters anymore."

She pauses for a moment and starts twirling the snake ring around her finger, "Not even me?"

I sigh, "You know I don't mean it like that. Look, Pansy, both us won't make it, you know that – you know that one of these nights you'll see my name on that hovercraft… One of those cannons will be for me and another for you."

"Stop it, Draco! Do you hear yourself? You can still win…"

I shake my head, "I don't want to win."

"But, Draco-"

"If I go home, nothing will change. Actually, no, everything will change. I'll go home knowing I lost both you and Harry to these Games, and every year, at every Reaping, and every battle, I'll just be reminded of it." She looks at me, like she actually understands, but there's still that pleading her eyes, begging me not to give up even though I want to. "No one does anything, but yet, every single parent can stand there in the crowd, watch their child get picked for slaughter and later get locked in an arena to fight to the death. Pansy, am I the only one who knows this is wrong and that it needs to be stopped?"

"You're probably the only Death Eater that does. Which is exactly why you're different." I look away from her. "Draco, just listen to me. Listen to someone who cares about you for once instead of listening to those who want to tear you down." She grabs my left arm, "I know what you went through in the past, but I'll probably never know how painful it was – how scared you were. And things like that can change a person forever." I can't do anything but listen to her, and it hurts to know how right she is. Pansy was, and probably will always be the only person in the world who understands me. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.

"But, getting to know you has made me learn a few amazing things about you." I keep staring down at my hand. She hugs my arm tighter, "Let's see. What are some of the best things about you? Well, you're smart! You're also sneaky…" I smirk at the slight humor in her voice. I know she's trying to cheer me up, but all I can think about is Harry. "Oh, like, remember that one time, we snuck into Umbidge's office fifth year and you turned all of her cat pictures into Snape ones!?" I laugh softly, "The school was going on about how Umbridge and Snape were a couple for months! That was the best!" I turn to her, still smiling a bit, "You would remember that one, wouldn't you?" She shoves me playfully, "One of the best times! I hope they're watching!" I shake my head with a smirk at how awkward Snape and Umbridge are right now, just listening to us fool around for a brief moment.

"Okay, and Buckbeak?" Pansy teases, "Draco." Automatically I laugh a bit louder, luckily Goyle doesn't hear, "I won't lie, but part of the whole 'broken arm' thing was just to get your attention." I say.

"Are you serious!?" She teases with a bit of shock to her voice.

"Yes. Actually, I think that might have been where my crush on you really started."

"So, you thought that, 'oh hey, let me piss this bird off, fake and injury so that maybe Pansy Parkinson would like me?'"

"Hey, I was thirteen. You gotta admit it was pretty smart; I got you to do all my homework for me for most of that term."

She laughs, "It's been almost five years since then and I'm just finding this out. You're hiding things from me now, Malfoy." We both laugh for a moment until I turn back to my hand, laughter fading, remembering where we are and what we're meant to be doing. I wish I could stay in the past forever since that's where all my best memories are.

"We had fun that year though…" She says. "I think doing all of your homework and spending more time with you made us closer. I'll admit, I think that's when I might have fallen for you too." She smiles sheepishly and blushes, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Then the Yule Ball…" I say, trying to keep our conversation going.

"And after the Yule Ball." She shoulders me playfully, "I will never forget that night."

"….I was drunk… I don't remember…" I tease. Her face, right away tells me she doesn't catch on and thinks I'm being serious. "Pansy, I'm kidding." I say with a laugh. "How can I ever forget that night?"

She laughs, "What else? Oh, you're cunning, funny! Let's see… sexy." I try not to laugh, "Now you're just bullshitting."

"No, I'm not kidding! Why do you think most of the Slytherin girls were always after you? I'll admit I got pretty jealous – very jealous – especially jealous when a few of them asked you to the Ball last minute when you didn't ask anyone."

"Yeah, then I asked you."

"Well, you took your blessed time!"

"Hey, I was… shy…"

"You shy?"

"Yes! I didn't think you would say yes, so I waited until, like, the very last minute."

"You thought that I wouldn't say yes to the most popular boy in Slytherin?"

I smirk and look away, turning red, "Oh, shut up."

Her laughter fades, "And most importantly, Draco," She hugs my arm closer and I look at her, still with a bit of humor on my face, "you've got a big heart. And just because you got that mark doesn't make it small." My expression fades to a more serious one as we get back to the topic at hand. "Draco… If you do win, I won't be around anymore-"

"Stop it, Pansy…" I say, feeling the emotion burning my eyes at the thought of losing her.

"But you need to remember one thing, because I won't be around to remind you and get it through your thick head all the time." I don't look at her but I'm listening. "You didn't make them change you, you stayed strong, and most importantly, you know who you are. You give people hope."

I stare at the blood flowing from my hand, soaking my jacket sleeve in crimson. "Well… I'm not sure I really do know who I am anymore." I feel a tear escape from the side of my eye, running a small drop of water down my cheekbone. "Damn it." I mutter.

She giggles softly and whips it away before I can lift my bloody hand to it, "When the time comes," She leans up and kisses me on the cheek where the tear just was, "you will."

Finally, after what seems like hours of walking, without finding any food or water, Goyle decides to stop for the night when he notices the sun sinking down. He's looking tired, just as worn down as the rest of us. As soon as he stops to set up camp, Marcus and Crabbe go out to get firewood and Goyle decides to go look around to find any water in the area. That leaves Pansy and me alone with Blaise. He's keeping a close eye on both of us, like he's Goyle's little guard dog.

Right now, my hand is in way too much pain, and I can care less at how much he's staring. The bleeding stopped for the most part, but a deep, long cut is stretched across my palm and even my fingers got some pretty serious cuts. I can see it all a lot better now that most of the blood has dripped off. It hurts, and I can't even coil my fingers or stretch them out. When I try I wince at the sharp pain it gives off, sending a surge of agony down my spine. To keep the pain at bay, I have no choice but to keep my hand as still as possible, stiffening it up like a sculpture.

With my good hand, I go inside my back pack and take out the small pack of medicine I found earlier. Only it's used for minor cuts and isn't that effective – as it reads on the small label atop the tin can. What the hell? These Games aren't a minor thing; they could have at least given me something a bit stronger to ease the pain I'm in right now.

I sigh. Okay, whatever, it wouldn't hurt to use it anyway. Maybe it'll numb the pain for a little while and later – if I'm still alive, I can just apply it again. I mean, it is better than nothing.

I have a hard time getting the crap unscrewed, but I guess Pansy notices because she's nice enough to take the can of medicine from me, "Need help?"

"A bit."

She unscrews the cap and soaks her finger in the thick medicine. It's clear and kind of glassy looking. It also smells like rubber. "Give me your hand."

I do as she says, and as soon as she applies this stuff to my cuts, I grip the grass hard with my good hand, and wince at the pain. She grits her teeth. "Ow, I know, I know… God, Draco, this looks bad…"

I want to scream since pain is so bad. I feel her rub more of this crap on me and suddenly my hand feels like it's burning, so I pull it away from her. "Okay, that's enough!"

She goes in my backpack and pulls out the bandages. "This will keep the dirt away. If we find water, I would wash it so it doesn't get infected."

I nod and let her wrap my hand up. I watch her carefully as she rips a few strips for my fingers. Her hand gazes mine when she's finished with the bandages and our eyes finally meet. Her eyes are watering and she takes my face in her hands, "I love you, you know?" I rest my bandaged hand over hers. "Even though you don't love me; I just don't want you to ever forget how I feel… I'll die, still loving you."

I look into her eyes for a moment until I hear Blaise huff loudly and purposely – trying to get our attention. We both pull back, remembering we're being watched and I shift against a think tree when I see Goyle return and Marcus and Crabbe come back with their arms full of firewood.

Goyle doesn't have a trace of water with him, but his sword is dripping blood. I see a smirk on his face when our eyes meet. I know for fact he just killed someone because after Hermione died, he cleaned his sword of the blood. This, however; looks fairly new to me.

The cannon goes off once more, and soon after, the anthem begins to play, echoing throughout the whole arena. I take a breath to prepare myself for what I'll be reminded of.

At last, I see Hermione's picture present on the hovercraft within the night sky. My heart sinks and I shift against Pansy's side for comfort when Goyle's eyes rest on me. Then I see Cho's picture emanate the sky and can only assume Goyle killed her. I look at that black hearted monster with pure hated in my eyes.

"How'd you do it?" Crabbe asks him with admiration on his voice.

Goyle smirks wider, beaming with compliment. He sticks his sword in the ground as he sits down beside it, not caring about the blood that also stains his cargo pants as they brush against his blood soaked sword when he sits down. "Caught her from behind and stabbed her in the back." Goyle says. "Didn't want her to scream and get attention drawn to me."

"Right." I say. He looks at me with hostility. "Because you could never face a single person one on one, now, could you?" I sneer. "Goyle, for everyone's sake, including your own, grow a pair." I hear a gasp from Pansy.

"Excuse me?" Goyle says. Everyone turns to me and the anthem stops playing, as if fearing the tone in Goyle's voice, turning the forest dark again.

I look up at him, trying to so hard to be brave. "Did I stutter? Or was your tiny brain unable to process what I just said?"

Goyle starts to bolt to his feet, but Blaise holds him back just when he reaches for the hilt of his sword. "Let it go! We need him." Blaise says. Goyle glares me for the longest time, until he backs off, as if debating with himself whether or not he should kill me now or save my worthless soul for later. I just look at him, not turning away.

"The closer we get to killing Potter, the closer I get to slaying the Dragon." He pulls his sword out of the ground and positions himself to lie down in the dirt, keeping his hand wrapped securely around the hilt of his sword as if awaiting an attack. "Go to sleep, Draco's look out."

"I was look out last night." I protest and as soon as I say it I wish I could take it back.

"Oh, then we'll look out together." He keeps his eyes on me – right one me, like he's watching me like a hawk. I shift uncomfortably and turn my head away from his gaze, even though I can still feel his cold stare on me. Pansy shuts her eyes and leans against my shoulder. I know she's really awake, but I don't say anything.

It feels like hours, but finally the fire starts to die down and the other Slytherins are asleep. My heart starts hammering when I turn my head back, only to find Goyle still staring at me. It's like he can't blink anymore.

Pansy is still awake, I know it. She rubs against my side with a moan and blinks her eyes open. "Can't sleep." She says to herself. "Oh, you're still awake." She says when she looks up at me. I just play along with her act and nod. "Yep…"

"Well, then if we both can't sleep…" She eyes Goyle suspiciously, before shifting against me more. She smirks as she gets up to sit on my lap so that her legs are on the sides of my hips. I blink and look up at her, knowing what game she's playing at and feel her hand slide up my chest, playfully, under the zipper of my jacket. I smirk up at her, grab the back of her head with my good hand, pull her down to me and kiss her. Her fingers run through my hair. I can feel her twirling around the white blond locks playfully between her fingers. Her body presses against mine, and I can feel both our hearts racing rapidity with the same amount of anxiety when our chests press together.

Suddenly, my leg jerks in shock, making the heal of my boot stretch the dirt ground when I feel her hand move down lower, below my waist to my belt. Over her shoulder I see Goyle's eyes drooping and he finally turns over.

"Is he still looking?" Pansy whispers into my lips.

I shake my head. She pulls back slowly. "Good. I won't lie, that wasn't only for distraction."

I smirk, "I could tell."

Her expression changes more seriously and her voice drops down to a very soft whisper, "Now, listen to me, Draco… you need to get out of here…"

My eyes widen. "What? And leave you? No!"

Her soft hand grazes the side of my face. She seems so calm. I feel like she was planning this. "Draco-"

I grab her hand into mine, "He'll kill you! I won't leave you here with him." My eyes water at the thought, "I can't…" I hold her hand tighter and her forehead presses to mine so that our lips are nearly brushing each other. "You'll always have my heart, Draco… always. But there's someone out here who needs you more… Go get him…"

"Pansy…" I say, trying to hold my tears back. So this is it? I just leave her here and never see her again? The only time I will see her again is when her picture is on the hover craft at night. I can't let her go… not now – no – not ever.

"I love you, Draco." She gets off of me and kisses my lips lightly. "Now, go, please. Before he wakes up…"

I look at her, seeing the pain in her eyes. I know letting me go is killing her just as much as it's killing me. "I'll come back for you… I promise, I'll come back for you – and we can win this thing together – we'll find a way, just please, stay alive for me."

She nods, knowing I might not make it back to see her in time, or that she'll even live to see my face again, but agrees to it anyway. "Remember what I said: you can't be broken, Draco. You're strong – show them you're strong."

"Stop, this isn't good-bye yet. You can come with me – just come with me – I can protect you." I hate begging, but if this is what it takes to keep her alive I'm willing to beg.

She shakes her head, "I'm not meant to live, Dray." She says in a small voice, trying to hide her pain, but I know Pansy all too well. I turn away, shutting my eyes tight. I can't lose her. How will I keep going knowing I left her here with Goyle and his slaves?

I grab the ring on her finger. "I'm always with you. It's not good-bye."

Tears are streaming down her face and she moves her hand over to the left side of her chest – to her heart, "Always with me." She sniffles and her voice comes out in chock, "Be careful out there, Draco." She kisses me once more. "Because I'm always with you too."

She backs off, but it takes me awhile to get to my feet and I can't take my eyes off of her. I know I'll probably never see her live face again and it… it actually feels like I'm being stabbed in the chest – it hurts. Part of me still loves her, probably more then she thinks. It's hard for me to let her go like this. I knew it would happen, and I've tried to prepare myself for it, but now that it's actually happening… I feel like I can't keep myself under control.

"I love you…" I whisper. She smiles warmly, but the pain is still there. Even though I might not mean it one hundred percent, I want her to know I'll always have feelings for her – I'll always love her even if the love I have for her isn't as strong as the love I have for Harry. It's still there, though. Believe me, it's still there.

Finally, I stand up and let my legs take me away from here. I watch her as I leave, and I can see her watching me. She's holding onto that ring, like it means more to her then her own life.

Finally the distance blocks her from my view and the fire flickers out, engulfing her into darkness behind me. I feel the urge to turn back and run into her arms, hold her forever, and never ever let her go, but I can't… I have to do this… Harry needs me, and I need him.

But I need Pansy now more than ever.

I've been walking almost all night. My legs are shaky and I'm feeling weak without a single bite of food or even a drop of water to keep me going. I honestly don't know how I'm still standing. I've seen and done a lot in these past few days and I'm surprised I even know how to walk.

I'm still upset about leaving Pansy and my tears keep blocking my vision. "Stop it." I tell myself as I whip them away. I know it's stupid to travel at night, but I need to get as far away from Goyle as possible, so I won't stop until I'm sure there's enough distance between him and me.

Even my hand is starting to act up in pain again and I think that's part of what's holding me back. I can't see straight, even without the tears. This pain is becoming unbearable.

I need to stop; I can't keep pushing myself like this. Rest, I need rest. I can try climbing a tree again if my hand can withstand it.

I look around for the fullest one and slowly make my way up the trunk. My shoulder is feeling better, but now, it's a bit harder to grip onto branches since my hand is starting to bleed through the bandages. I dig my toe into a pit in the trunk and grab onto a thick tree branch to hoist myself up. It's tricky to do this and my hand is screaming for me to stop. The medicine underneath the bandages is beginning to burn the cuts on my hand and fingers, preventing me from going much further. Finally when I I'm high up enough, and surrounded by trees and leaves I rest on a thick and wide branch, holding my hand in agony. I want to take the medicine out from my backpack, but it hurts too much to move my hand. Maybe the bandage is starting to irritate it…

Carefully, I unravel the bandages and try so hard not to scream as I feel the material pulling the cuts since the blood that remained is starting to crust the medicine together sticking the bandage to my skin like cement. Both of my hands are shaking ferociously and I open my mouth to yell but no sound comes out. Finally, I decide to rip the bandage off like a band aid. Bad idea. I do that and feel the strongest urge to scream. I throw my head back in pain as blood starts to gush from my cuts. My hand is pulsating rapidly like a tiny bird's heartbeat. Gritting my teeth together in agony, the only sound I can manage is grunt of pure torture.

I still need to take the bandages off that are wrapped around my fingers, but I don't know if I'll be able to. I take breath and unravel them, slowly. The ones on my fingers don't hurt as much as the ones on my palm, but they hurt enough to make me yelp softly from the back of my throat.

Gently, I try to dab away the extra blood with the bandage, but the cuts are way too sensitive to even touch. I give up and keep my bloody hand on my lap, limply. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight. I rest my head against the trunk and shut my eyes. I'll need something to hold me in place so I don't fall out of this tree. The rope in my back pack or even my belt would work, but doing that with one hand won't be that effective and I may fall out just by trying. I can't risk it.

I'm about to doze off when I hear a soft screech, like an owl – and Eagle Owl. My eyes blink open and I look around to see if I'm going crazy. Sure enough there's an owl soaring right towards me. I got a sponsor? Usually sponsors send tributes owls when they need something. I guess someone saw that I'm desperate for food, water, medicine – anything.

The owl soars past me and drops the item into my lap. It's a small container with a note taped on the top. My good hand goes to the note and I clumsily unfold it open.

"Apply gently and stay alive.

P.S – Umbridge and I aren't a couple!

-Snape"

A smile snakes onto my lips and I move my hand to open the container. In it there's a kind of clear, pinkish goo. It has absolutely no smell but when I apply it to my hand there's no pain – no sting – no nothing. It soothes it right from the touch and I sigh, pressing the back of my head to the tree in relief, letting my chest rise and fall with a deep sigh of satisfaction. "Thank you, Snape." I say to the sky.

AN: Two chapters in one night?! I am impressed with myself, my friends!

I'm sorry if the cute little Draco/Pansy scene was unnecessary. I just wanted them to have a sort of brief moment where they flash back to the past and reminisce. Because this is where Pansy and Draco part ways and it sort of goes down hill for her from here. I just wanted their last moments together to be kind of be like an uplifting scene after all this crazy crap they've been going through. So I hope that scene was okay. I also hope you guys are seeing Pansy in a different light now. Becasue in the books/movies we don't get enough of her. I feel like most of the Slytherins are so mistunderstood and they need more elaboration.

Well... no more chapters tonight, however; 15 will be up tomorrow. I also go a new follower, YAY! Thank you GoldSnitch212! And of course thank you to the rest of my lovely followers and viewers. You guys are the best! I was also listening to "Run This Town by Jay-Z, Rihanna E.S. Posthumus (Remix)" If I could make a trailer for this story I would use that song. I still have that sexyness on repeat. Oh goodness, I'm going to stop talking now. Good-night my dears! Hope you enjoy!